Wedding Etiquette Forum

"Unplugged Wedding"

wiki8wiki8 member
100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
edited June 2013 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
So, I know that isn't the right phrase so what I want to say, but it's the best that I could come up with.

I'm kind of intentionally making people upset. I know that probably isn't nice, or proper, but I think i'm okay with it. I recently referenced an article I read about an unplugged wedding, where the bride and groom ask their guests not to use their phone during a portion of the wedding, such as the ceremony. I had said I didn't like the ruse of "we want you to be fully present" and that's not what I'm about. People can use their phones or electronic devices as they wish, and I am not going to tell grown adults not do. What I DO have a problem with, however, is people using these electronic devices to stand in the aisle when the bride is walking down it, or walking up to the alter when the bride and groom are about the kiss, just to snap a camera pic.

Now, FI's family are the biggest offenders of this, which is exactly why I brought it up. I wasn't confrontational, I didn't name names and lay blame on anyone. I just said I think it ruins important moments that the professional photographer should be capturing. A recent wedding we went to had both of the examples I already mentioned, as well as a bunch more, that just made me shake my head. Why don't people realize they should be in their seats, not obstructing pictures.

FI's family is also having a fit over this, but I'm just sitting back and not stressing it. They basically think I am being unreasonable and I should be HONORED (I am really starting to hate this word) that people want to take my picture. I know I have more than enough time before the wedding that I shouldn't be worried about potential photo bombers, but I figured since we just went to that wedding and started to look at the professional photos, it was a convenient time to bring it up. Maybe after 10 months of gossiping about my scandalous remark, they might realize I don't want them standing in the aisle.
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meshamomkrose83013[Deleted User]

Re: "Unplugged Wedding"

  • I guess I just need to be thankful that H's and my family and friends know better than to get up during church.  I have never seen anything so blatantly rude. 

    Can you give your photographer a heads up so he/she can 1) position himself with as few people as possible between you and him and 2) be prepared to very quickly and quietly ask offenders to sit their asses down?

  • I've seen this. My friend won a 100k wedding (no, I'm not kidding!) and she had like 4 photogs at her wedding and several people still jumped in the aisle. Some people are rude about it. While I don't think asking for a unplugged wedding is cool, I understand why some people would want to say it. 
  • wiki8wiki8 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    @harry87 I didn't realize you had to tell people not to be apes until very recently. Pretty ridiculous.

    @kate61487 I actually brought it up to my photographer the other day! Once I discussed it with her I decided to test the waters and bring it up to the family. Chaos ensued.

    @misssunshine17.... How does one go about winning 100 grand wedding? And is there an option to instead take majority of it in cash? Haha. I think telling people not to use their phones and keep them away is bossy and doesn't come across very well. But I also hope they get my hint to keep their bottoms firmly in their seat.
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  • Video submission & online voting but everything was chosen for them. They got one veto, that's it. And no, no cash. 
  • wiki8wiki8 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    @misssunshine17 how did the wedding turn out? Was it what they had hoped? What was their veto?
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  • Can you have the officiant to ask people at the beginning to stay in their seats? It's horribly rude for people to jump up and go into the aisle to take pictures. Having someone they don't know tell them to not get up may keep their butts in their seats.
  • I did an "unplugged" wedding and I'm still not sure how I feel about it a year later. I LOVE that I don't have pictures with amateur photogs in it. However, it seemed like every guest thought they weren't allowed to take photos... ever! In our programs I put "please no photography during the processional and recessional". Later after the wedding I was told this was very confusing so people put their cameras away for the entire thing. If I were to do it again I'd have the officiant say beforehand that photos are fine but resist while people are walkin
    g down the aisle.
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  • FutureMrsN3312FutureMrsN3312 Dirty Jersey member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited June 2013
    I totally understand this.  I went to a wedding back in March and there were so many people in the aisle with iphones and ipads. (Including the MOB).  People were constantly jumping out of their seats and the photographers weren't able to shoot them lighting the unity candle and their first kiss.  I'd be a little annoyed with family and friends.(I understand the excitement but still)

     I've already warned my photographers to feel free to step in front of anyone they need to.  We were also thinking of asking the priest if he will say something in the beginning of the ceremony. (And possibly decorating the pews with tulle so people can't really get into the center of the aisle.)

    EDT: Bc of spelling lol
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  • Ugh - do I have to be worried about this? Also, is this going to make the receiving line take forever because people want to take pics with their phones? ANGTFT.
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  • SKPMSKPM member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    I totally understand this.  I went to a wedding back in March and there were so many people in the aisle with iphones and ipads. (Including the MOB).  People were constantly jumping out of their seats and the photographers weren't able to shoot them lighting the unity candle and their first kiss.  I'd be a little annoyed with family and friends.(I understand the excitement but still)

     I've already warned my photographers to feel free to step in front of anyone they need to.  We were also thinking of asking the priest if he will say something in the beginning of the ceremony. (And possibly decorating the pews with tool so people can't really get into the center of the aisle.)
    I think you mean tulle, though wrenches and nails might also deter the amateur photographers :)

    photo fancy-as-fuck.jpg
    southernbelle0915Jen4948tammym1001
  • I totally understand this.  I went to a wedding back in March and there were so many people in the aisle with iphones and ipads. (Including the MOB).  People were constantly jumping out of their seats and the photographers weren't able to shoot them lighting the unity candle and their first kiss.  I'd be a little annoyed with family and friends.(I understand the excitement but still)

     I've already warned my photographers to feel free to step in front of anyone they need to.  We were also thinking of asking the priest if he will say something in the beginning of the ceremony. (And possibly decorating the pews with [tulle] so people can't really get into the center of the aisle.)
    This is an excellent idea if you've actually seen it happen at family weddings.  guests can be seated from the outer aisle and won't be able to just pop up and in the way.
  • Kate61487 said:
    I totally understand this.  I went to a wedding back in March and there were so many people in the aisle with iphones and ipads. (Including the MOB).  People were constantly jumping out of their seats and the photographers weren't able to shoot them lighting the unity candle and their first kiss.  I'd be a little annoyed with family and friends.(I understand the excitement but still)

     I've already warned my photographers to feel free to step in front of anyone they need to.  We were also thinking of asking the priest if he will say something in the beginning of the ceremony. (And possibly decorating the pews with [tulle] so people can't really get into the center of the aisle.)
    This is an excellent idea if you've actually seen it happen at family weddings.  guests can be seated from the outer aisle and won't be able to just pop up and in the way.
    Brilliant. Thanks @FutureMrsN3312!
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  • FutureMrsN3312FutureMrsN3312 Dirty Jersey member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    LOL Stupid spell check!  Although hammers and nails might come in handy lol
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  • I think were going to have the officiant ask everyone to remain in their seats, I want pictures and want our friends to instagram them right away so I can see but a recent article and previous weddings we dont want our photographers being blocked.

    There's a difference between saying an unplugged wedding with no use of electronics and a friendly reminder from a stranger to stay in your seat to not block the professionals.
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  • wiki8wiki8 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    @winelover123 and others who have mentioned it, I think having the officiant say before hand for people to stay in their seats is a good idea. Usually when people are sort of "called out" by strangers they tend to behave better. But we will see! 

    @futureMrsN3312 Decorating the aisle is such a great idea to prevent this! 

    @southernbelle0915 maybe you don't! Depends on your guests! I just know mine are not to be trusted haha.

    @Harry87 That's what kills me! That they need to block the way just for an instagram shot or whatever. 
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  • we blocked our aisle with tulle, but people went out the other side, and still went to the back of the aisle to take photos.
  • Our church doesn't allow photographs -- cell phone or professional -- during the service for religious reasons. It'll be printed in the service bulletin, so hopefully people will respect it.
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  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    When I first started reading the original post, I was thinking, "Why would you request an unplugged wedding for reasons other than wanting people to be fully present, attention-wise?"

    I had no idea people BLOCKED THE FRIGGIN AISLE. How are people that rude and stupid?!!
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Our church doesn't allow photographs -- cell phone or professional -- during the service for religious reasons. It'll be printed in the service bulletin, so hopefully people will respect it.
    I'm curious-what would be done if someone did not respect it?  Serious question, no snark intended. :-)
  • FutureMrsN3312FutureMrsN3312 Dirty Jersey member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    I remember taking a picture from my seat of all the people in the aisle.  It's not on my phone.  I'll have to check my laptop when I get home.


    @jen4948 I was thinking the same thing...
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited June 2013
    phira said:
    When I first started reading the original post, I was thinking, "Why would you request an unplugged wedding for reasons other than wanting people to be fully present, attention-wise?"

    I had no idea people BLOCKED THE FRIGGIN AISLE. How are people that rude and stupid?!!
    Because they're camera-happy.  I have some relatives like that. I can see them interfering with a professional photographer at work by trying to take pictures themselves of the groupings, trying to hand off their own cameras to the photographer, or trying to get the photographer to take pictures of their own families that aren't in the contract. 

    I would love to know how to keep them from going crazy at my wedding.  Somehow I think it would take more than "We have this covered, please don't interfere with the photographer" to get them to cut it out.
  • Jen4948 said:
    Our church doesn't allow photographs -- cell phone or professional -- during the service for religious reasons. It'll be printed in the service bulletin, so hopefully people will respect it.
    I'm curious-what would be done if someone did not respect it?  Serious question, no snark intended. :-)
    I have heard, not confirmed, just rumors, that our rector has run intrusive wedding photographers out of the church. :\ Our church (Episcopal) has some strict marriage policies that I think most people would find... strange, but that the church feels are meant to keep the sacrament of marriage focused on God, not on the bride and groom or anything else. Like, we can't bring in exterior decorations. Music must be selected from the 1982 Hymnal. The bride and groom both walk down the aisle as a part of the entrance processional with the priest and the acolytes, etc., and the bride does not get her own separate processional song (no Wedding March or whatever). We are *strong* encouraged to celebrate communion as a part of service. And they don't want people treating the service like a movie premiere, flashing photos through the whole thing. It's probably weird to a lot of people, but we wanted our wedding to feel like a Sunday service, and I'm not comfortable with having a lot of attention anyway, so getting to sneak down the aisle with everyone else totally suits me.

    But I think just mentioning the policy on taking photos, most people will be chill.
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