Can I ask someone if they would come before sending an invite?

klcanning

Our wedding invite list is getting pretty tight. We're supposed to be at 125, but we're coming in around 145! I have an assumption that there are a 2-3 couples we're inviting as a courtesy that won't be able to make it. To save myself having to cut out people off the list that I think COULD make it - would it be okay to contact those individuals and let them know the date and ask if they think they could make it? I really don't want to do a second round of invites...I've found that people usually find out when they are on the second list.

manateehugger

1. NEVER assume that people you invite wont come. My sister invited a bunch of relatives in India with the assumption that they wouldn't come since the trip was so far. She was upset when they all RSVP'd. 

2. A verbal invitation is as binding as a written invitation in my mind. So if you tell them the date, they are invited.

3. This phone call would be incredibly awkward. "Hey, I'm just checking in early to see if you can come to our wedding. If not, we want to invite other people." - Awkward. J

4. Please PLEASE don't do a second round of invites. That's B-listing and is considered incredibly rude. 

Just invite the number of people you can afford to host and leave it at that. 

klcanning

Ugh so tough! I"m just trying to think outside of the box on how we can get the guest list down by 7 couples and it is so hard. Thanks for all the advice.

I definitely DO NOT want to do a second round of invites. Totally agree on that.

manateehugger

Honestly, you just have to make the cuts. It sucks, but there really is no other way. 

We are probably going to have to cut a couple friends that I'd love to be there because our families are just too damn big. It's the way it goes. 

Dreamergirl8812

"Hey it's me. I'm just calling to see what you're doing on September 7th. No go ahead, I'll wait a moment for you to decide. Because there's people I really want to invite to my wedding and if you don't come I can invite them. So wadda you say?"