Tacky Announcements

rel1988

You asked about the ring part, we are just responding. You absolutely do not need a ring to get engaged. I think it's sweet of her to wear a costume ring until he can affored her ring. If anything you should shallow thinking you HAVE to have a ring to get engaged. It's not about the ring, it's about the committment.

While maybe you are concerned with your friend's happiness and hasty decision he's a 35, you said it yourself, and that makes him a grown man capable of making his own decisions. Sometimes people just know very early one who "the one" is. Don't judge.

motoLyn

i'm going to go against the norm here and say.....

If I were you I would side eye the SHIT out of the friend for getting engaged after such a short time and after so much baby drama.  I would NOT voice this to my friend but keep it to myself.  Its his life, and unless he comes to you and asks for your opinion and advice then keep it to yourself.

Now responding to what another poster had said to you, if I were you and someone told me they were engaged I would have reacted precisely like this " OH MY GOD congratulations, LET ME SEE THE RING GURLFRIEND!"  which I don't see as rude.  Cause who wouldn't want to see the ring, now if they say they don't have one well I would just repeat the congrats and good luck.  As previous posters said one does not need a ring to be engaged. 

What one needs is an agreement to get married one day.  Who the fuck needs to have a ring if they don't want to.... I heard of engagement cars or putting money towards a house.  Instead of buying a expensive ring or a cheaper ring to just to have a ring. 

leia1979

elizabethnoelWed175813 said:

I never said that the ring had to be thousands of dollars, but in general when someone asks another person to marry them, then they get down on one knee with a ring. Walmart has sterling silver rings that are pretty cheap. There are rings for $20. This is where the "judgy" part of the ring came in. No, indeed you do not have to have a ring to get married, but you told your "special" fiance that she could just wear one of the costume rings she had in her closet that she bought herself... 

You're really hung up on the ring part. Seriously, that is the least of their problems.

Maybe he's like H's friend who has been engaged multiple times (and gets engaged early) but has never gotten married.

suzie211

So your friend has a history of bad judgement, and has shown a significant amount of it recently.  But who are you to judge how they feel about each other?  Maybe they are crazy in love and will end up married for a really long time.  Maybe he'll have a moment of clarity, and dump her.  But either way he's your friend and you need to support him.  You don't have to agree with him.

Rings do not equal an engagement.  Neither does the amount of time a couple has been together have an impact if they are really in love.  My parents dated for two months before they got engaged, and gasp my dad didn't propose with a ring.  His grandmother took him shopping for it months later, and actually paid for it.  They celebrated 38 years together last week. 

Please take your judgy pants off, and just be a friend.

cu97tiger

motoLyn said:

i'm going to go against the norm here and say.....

If I were you I would side eye the SHIT out of the friend for getting engaged after such a short time and after so much baby drama.  I would NOT voice this to my friend but keep it to myself.  Its his life, and unless he comes to you and asks for your opinion and advice then keep it to yourself.

Now responding to what another poster had said to you, if I were you and someone told me they were engaged I would have reacted precisely like this " OH MY GOD congratulations, LET ME SEE THE RING GURLFRIEND!"  which I don't see as rude.  Cause who wouldn't want to see the ring, now if they say they don't have one well I would just repeat the congrats and good luck.  As previous posters said one does not need a ring to be engaged. 

What one needs is an agreement to get married one day.  Who the fuck needs to have a ring if they don't want to.... I heard of engagement cars or putting money towards a house.  Instead of buying a expensive ring or a cheaper ring to just to have a ring. 

All of this. I think it's totally normal to assume there's a ring involved in an engagement, because 95% of engagements include one. (Yes, I completely pulled that number out of my ass). 

If we're all honest here, we judge people all the time for things. Heck, some of us are judging OP for the things that she said. Maybe this is just a good opportunity for OP to realize that her personal feeling that she needs a ring to be engaged doesn't have to apply to everyone... then we can all move on.

OP (which means Original Poster) - tell us something else about yourself besides your friend that has crazy drama. What's your favorite wine? What part of the country do you live in? Is it raining where you are today?