Ring shopping help

mcmcmd

Hi ladies,

I'm a long time lurker but am just posting for the first time and I have a few questions that I'm hoping someone here could help me answer. I'm hoping this is the right board to post this on and since NEY is my favorite (E is pretty good too-- they get some real crazies asking questions over there!) I figured I'd start here. My BF and I are just starting the process of looking at engagement rings and we've found the whole thing a bit overwhelming. Here are my questions. 

1) How many jewelry stores did you go to? We are really committed to shopping local which leaves us with about 5-6 options. I'm not sure if e-rings are something you comparison shop for or just go with the store you liked? 

2) How long does selecting/ordering/preparing the ring usually take?

3) What should we be asking? We got a quick talk about the 4Cs so we feel good about that and we know what styles (roughly) we're interested in but I worry that we're missing something. OR maybe everyone is equally as clueless as we are and we're just not used to feeling like this. 

Thanks in advance for any advice! Like I said, NEY is my favorite so I'm hoping to get to know some of you ladies :-) 

500days

I have been shopping just for stones, but I would suggest going with the local jeweler that spends time showing and explaining what they have/do. The ones that start the sales pitch after a few minutes will be the ones to stay away from. A great jeweler will know that this is a purchase that will take time and lots of consideration.

ETA: I've been to about 4 jewelers in my area. I think you should be asking first for stones of good color and clarity and then zone in on size based on what is presented, and of course the price.

500days

Also, do you know what you want/prefer? 

mcmcmd

Thanks for the advice! 

We've only been to one store and they were so lovely and really spent the time to educate us (we had two employees helping us for an hour). BF and I were kind of like "could it really be that easy?!" so that's why I wanted to get some advice. They suggested we visit with them at least 2-3 times before making a final decision which was really reassuring but I wanted to see if others usually shopped around before deciding on a store or not. 

I know what style I like (I think, I unfortunately kind of have man-hands so I can't try many of the rings on in the store) and we have some beautiful diamonds from a grandmother we can use if we like so we have that to consider, also. 

500days

What kind of setting are you looking for? I have been contemplating a pave cathedral style...but I could easily flop back to a solitaire or halo at this point. I just need to keep on trying more on. Also, ask if they customize or make designs because that will be an even better option if you find something, but want/need it to mold well to your stone.

mcmcmd

I'm looking at mainly 3 stone styles. I dress pretty plainly so I don't think anything too fancy would suit my tastes, but I'm in medical school and keep having horrible nightmares of solitaires ripping through my gloves and killing someone in the office... which makes me seem like a crazy-pants but I can't get that image out of my mind! :-P 

Peaseblossom55

I am of no help. I told FI not to spend over a certain amount, I prefer a round or cushion diamond and surprise me. He went through blue nile and he got me my dream ring.  

Hello and welcome though

bethsmiles

@Danser - BF and I are doing the same thing you did! I told him what I like and not too spend too much and now he's going to surprise me. I'm sure I'll love whatever he picks, I'm not picky

Hi OP! I love it when lurkers come out to play!

mcmcmd

Thanks for the welcome, girls! I really appreciate all the help already. 

500days

I'm new too, @mcmcmd. BF and I have been slow movers on the engagement. It's pretty much been a team effort from the get-go, so we are just going at our own pace for now. Maybe a low profile ring would work best for your profession. I am a teacher, and although I work with my hands a bit, but any ring style would logistically work for me.

mcmcmd

Yeah, they keep suggesting a bezel style ring, which just isn't my taste and so I think we'll just have to keep looking until we find a setting that we like and is practical. 

500days

What about a trellis setting or a halo? Some of the halos that I have seen are significantly lower than the traditional solitaires and other settings I've seen.

mcmcmd

The trellis is my favorite so far!

phira

I just went to the jeweler with my partner tonight to design my ring, so I guess we're sort of in the same boat!

We only went to on jeweler. We're on a very tight budget and didn't want to get a diamond, and we couldn't find any jewelry stores in the area that seemed to do fine jewelry but wasn't exclusively diamond engagement ring-ish. However, we felt like the jeweler and sales associate were incredibly respectful. Part of what they do is gem and jewelry education, and they were happy to talk us through the process without even ASSUMING that we were going to go with them.

We were also looking for a band for my partner's engagement ring, and they helped us find the styles he liked, even though they knew we'd be buying something off Etsy for him.

You can DEFINITELY find prong settings that work for medical/research settings. A friend of mine has a ring that her fiance selected specifically because the setting would be appropriate for a biology PhD student (I think hers is 5 stones, not 3, but it's lovely). I'm aiming for bezel, but it was more of a pleasant coincidence that the setting is better for glove-wearers. I was going to get one anyway.

mcmcmd

Thanks for the reassurance @phira! I'm hoping we'll find something that we love that I'll actually be able to wear 9-5 (who am I kidding... more like 6a-7p) on my finger and not on a necklace or something. 

Peaseblossom55

@bethsmiles i left up hints of different bands up on the blue nile website all the time though.

phira

@mcmcmd My partner and I were watching Scrubs tonight and I got to point out a female character (Carla) wearing her engagement and wedding rings on a necklace.

cu97tiger

As someone who never fell in love with her e-ring, I suggest going with your BF to determine what you really like. IT's a fun idea to be surprised but it'| no fun to not love the ring you're given (not trying to be a downer here).

My DH used a jeweler that many of his friends had used. You (or your BF) can ask friends/family if they've had any good experiences anywhere. have fun!!

Blue & White

@mcmcmd I tend to turn my rings upside down when wearing gloves. For some reason that gives them more room? I'm a chem teacher though so only my life is on the line,not someone else's

Also I'm terrified of doctors but at least if you're on the Internet and not coming near me with a needle we can be friends

motoLyn

I went to close to 10 jewelers if not more, but that's because I live near Los Angeles and there is a jewelery district there with hundreds of small booth space of jewelers.  I come to realize once I have been to 5 I have seen all the styles out there. 

Advice talk to the jeweler or sales person.  If you feel a good connection with them then consider buying from there.  The jeweler that we ended up getting my e-ring from was so nice, accomadating and understanding.  We liked him so much we sent friends there to see him and we came back and got my wedding band and my husband's wedding band from him. 

Depending on how complicated the ring you want is, a jeweler can custom make your ring in two weeks or less, if you like a setting they already have then it could take like an hour for them to set the diamond and then you can take it home.  Talk to the jeweler and tell them what you're looking for and they can suggest so many nice styles for you.  No matter what don't be afraid to ask questions of them and don't let them bully or rush you. 

As for the diamond just know what your budget is, what is important to you such as color, clarity, cut or carat or combo there of.  For me size mattered more, but my husband cared about clarity he didn't want a diamond that he could see inclusions with his naked eye.  That would bother him to no end.  So we found a compromise.  Good luck and take your time, don't be like me and get burned out over the process.  By the end I was ready to just get engaged with a cracker jack ring.

Belle2188

1.  FI apparently went with the first jeweler he met with, but did take the time to visit others before making the final decision (I think about three or four).  I always recommend going with a local jeweler because you typically get so much more for your money.

2.  My ring took 3 weeks to be made, but the setting was handmade so if you're not going that route I'd expect it to be quicker.

3.  Aside from the 4 C's, make sure that it's GIA certified (not EGL, which has much looser standards).  Also, ask about wedding bands and how well one would fit with your e-ring--many of the more unique styles need custom made bands.  Lastly, you may want to ask if there are any added benefits to purchasing from them, like complimentary cleanings and the like.

Good luck!

leia1979

I don't even remember how many places I went to because I had a hard time finding anything I liked. I did know I didn't want a diamond, so I was also slightly limited by some pro-diamond stores that weren't all that willing to work with me. We ended up with a jeweler who had great Yelp reviews and was willing to work with us. My ring took about 8 weeks to get, but it was a new vendor for the store, and they were having some difficulty with the setup paperwork. I just happened to be the first customer to get that brand of ring from the store.

My biggest piece of advice is to try everything on. Take photos if they'll let you. It can get a little overwhelming, so being able to go back through photos of your favorites will help.

phira

I also wanted to add that I couldn't REALLY try on any of the rings at the store we ended up picking. I tried one on with my pinky finger, and I also tried on some bands with my partner. I've got me some pretty big fingers.

@leia1979, that's one of the major reasons why my partner and I ended up sticking with the first store we went to. Boston has a couple of very large "diamond" districts, but our budget + our needs (sapphire) made us uncomfortable trying those places out.

mcmcmd

Thanks for all the advice, ladies! I really appreciate it and will definitely take it all into consideration when we go looking again. 

@phira-- Scrubs is my favorite show! I've probably seen each episode at least 4 times. I'm pretty sure some of the cases have helped me pass medical school so far!

buddysmom80

So far bf and I have looked at 4 jewelers probably after everything is said and done that number will go up to 10. Depending on what kind of style you want you could walk out of the store that day with a ring you like or it could take 4 or more weeks depending on the craftsmanship. Make sure to learn as much as you can about the diamond industry. Dont be surprised that what you thought you liked you end up hating when you try it on. Don't be afraid to negotiate and walk away if you have to. Buying a diamond is like buying a car. If you don't like the price the other jeweler might work with you. Fwiw go shopping with bf and pick your top 3 setting or styles and leave the final choice up to him. Good luck!

doubleSS07

I'll start by saying I always knew exactly what I wanted and what I didn't want.  Because of that FI was totally on board with us going to choose a ring together.  We went to about 5 different places locally to check out pricing and styles.  It ended up being more than we wanted to spend os we went to the jewelry mart in SF based on a recommendation from friends.  We were able to get a great stone matched with the perfect setting for MUCH less than we anticipated.  I'd definitely say take your time shopping around together, do your research and don't be afraid to buy your setting and your stone separately.  

MaryGraceRich

I work in a jewelery store. I see engagement customers all day everyday. The only advice I can give you is be sure they show you exactly what you are getting (under a gemscope/magnification) and make sure its a store that is not going to close in 6 months or a year.
Most of the my customers that purchase in my store do so because we are honest about what you are getting. We dont have a choice. We are AGS registered and will lose our certification if we dont stick to certain standards.
Most of all enjoy the process! Dont let it stress you out. It CAN be that easy.
Good luck!

Jessica41381

My ring was a total surprise and we never even discussed what I liked and my fiancé got the most amazing ring ever! So when it comes to the wedding band, I told him he can pick it out like he did with my engagement ring and ill be surprised on our wedding day! I my Leo diamond!

[Deleted User]

Well when FI and I discussed the type of ring I would like, I just mentioned a non-conflict and a solitaire diamond. I didn't go to any jewelers with him really. I think going in a trying on some in a couple places is a great way to start so you know what you think looks good on you. I think we took a little bit of risk not doing that but I was still pretty confident in what I liked. 

I have no idea how long it takes lol. FI bought the ring about a month or so in advance before we proposed so I don't know all the preparation it took before that. If you know a jeweler that you trust with their opinion I would consult in them prior to buying a ring. I have a couple girlfriends that are jewelers and just from hearing them describe what to look for in a ring helped FI to know that the diamond he bought was good quality.

phira

We were at the jewelry store for about 30-45 minutes talking with the jeweler, selecting the stone, and designing the ring. We were told the ring would be ready in 4-6 weeks.

Meanwhile, about a week or so earlier, I bought my partner's ring off etsy. It's a non-custom piece, although we could select the width of the band, and we were told it would take about 8 weeks.

So ... definitely ask each jeweler about the estimated time frame.

mcmcmd

Hi Gals! I just wanted to say a huge THANK YOU for everyone's help and advice in ring selection. My BF was showing me a picture (of something else) on his phone a few nights ago and accidentally flipped too far and a pic of the ring popped up. From the 2 seconds I got to look at it before he was able to switch the pics it looks beautiful. I really appreciate all the thoughtful responses from you ladies!

I think I'll have to come play on NEY more now! Someone needs to help you guys fight off all the crazy pre-planners!