Bride shames Guest for giving picnic basket of food-items

theretamaragoes

Ooooh man.

I just read THIS article.... in which a wedding guest shares the completely horrible text messages that he received from a couple in response his wedding gift to them.

"I want to thank you for coming to the wedding Friday. I'm not sure if it's the first wedding you have been to, but for your next wedding... People give envelopes [of cash]. I lost out on $200 covering you and your date's plate... And got fluffy whip and sour patch kids in return. Just a heads up for the future  "

I am dying to hear all of your responses to this! 

tiny speck

Wow, that is seriously awful. I almost can't believe it's real.

Viczaesar

Our friendship would be over.

Ashleyz0814

I think that is a really sweet gift that shows the guests put thought into it. I cannot believe people actually think that way and on top of that they have the nerve to confront the guests about their choice of gift. Ugh.

Lowell14

I am so ashamed that the article was from my home town...:(

Xstatic3333

leahjwatts said:

I am so ashamed that the article was from my home town...:(

Heck, I'm ashamed its from my planet!

Weddings aren't fundraisers, people! FI has a boorish uncle who, when he heard we were inviting some family friends, said "Why? They won't give a good gift." Ummmm, because they helped raise FI and are very dear to him? Seriously, it makes me mad. I feel like lots of the recent zombie posts have dealt with this same basic issue, too.

AddieCake

Wow. That's just appalling. 

mlg78

I loved his gift idea too! He seemed to fill it with a lot of high end stuff so I'm sure that basket wasn't cheap.  My picnic basket is one of the things I'm most excited for from my registry. While it's not something I'll use a lot...it will be a gift that will be a part of memories to come in the future. 

kerbohl

One of the brides is on my radio station right now.  I'm listening to her trying to defend herself.  She says that the text she sent was rude, but she was insulted by the "thoughtlessness" of the gift.  Interesting defense . . .

crunchymamaof2

That was seriously appalling. Disgusting. I'm even more appalled (but not surprised) that the writer said there were comments agreeing with the brides (though I couldn't find comments anywhere?).

I bet those brides were regulars on a few other sites I know...

southernbelle0915

Response:

"I want to thank you for your text message. I'm not sure if the first time you've ever thanked anyone for anything, but for your next thank you note.... People send notes [of thanks]. I just lost out on all my respect for you and your husband, the time put into going to your wedding and got nothing in return. Just a heads up for the future. "

NYCBruin

kerbohl said:

One of the brides is on my radio station right now.  I'm listening to her trying to defend herself.  She says that the text she sent was rude, but she was insulted by the "thoughtlessness" of the gift.  Interesting defense . . .

That's crazy and makes no sense.  The guy definitely put more time/thought/energy into coming up with the gift than he would have writing a check (which is what I usually do).

The story just got worse and worse.  First, the initial text about the text (rude).  Then the fact that they had a fundraiser (the doe and doe).  And finally that they actually said that weddings are supposed to raise money!  I'm sure there were a few more rude things, but those were the most appalling. 

Peaseblossom55

I would love a gift basket like that, sounds unique and thoughtful.  As most people have said I am appalled at the brides' behavior. 

AddieCake

kerbohl said:

One of the brides is on my radio station right now.  I'm listening to her trying to defend herself.  She says that the text she sent was rude, but she was insulted by the "thoughtlessness" of the gift.  Interesting defense . . .

Thoughtlessness?!  Good grief. 

KeptInStitches

How gauche of the brides! His gift sounded very thoughtful and I would have greatly enjoyed something like that.

kerbohl

@NYCBruin She finished her interview, and she basically said that she and her bride do not eat candy, so she thought that the giver was not taking her wedding seriously because it was a lesbian wedding, hence the thoughtlessness.  She would have preferred a cheaper gift that she could have used than candy that she and her bride will not eat. 

DESPITE her reasoning, it was still completely inappropriate to call out this guest for the gift.  If someone bought me jello (the one food I absolutely refuse to eat) I would be a little miffed, but I'm not going to text them angrily about how awful they are.  I'd donate it to the foodbank - how hard is that?  You save face, you don't get on the front page of two Canadian newspapers about being a bad bride, and you are still "using" the gift. 

NYCBruin

kerbohl said:

@NYCBruin She finished her interview, and she basically said that she and her bride do not eat candy, so she thought that the giver was not taking her wedding seriously because it was a lesbian wedding, hence the thoughtlessness.  She would have preferred a cheaper gift that she could have used than candy that she and her bride will not eat. 

DESPITE her reasoning, it was still completely inappropriate to call out this guest for the gift.  If someone bought me jello (the one food I absolutely refuse to eat) I would be a little miffed, but I'm not going to text them angrily about how awful they are.  I'd donate it to the foodbank - how hard is that?  You save face, you don't get on the front page of two Canadian newspapers about being a bad bride, and you are still "using" the gift. 

Exactly!  Not to mention the fact that candy wasn't the ONLY thing in the gift basket.

southernbelle0915

She's lucky she got a gift at all. If I were the guest I'd just ask her when I could come pick it up. I'm actually really glad this is getting so much press. Hopefully we'll have fewer "cover your plate" debates now. Now if only the press would publicly shame someone for a honeymoon jar or cash bars....

[Deleted User]

The most disturbing thing is how many people in the comments agree, think this guy made a dick move, and that he should have paid his way, essentially.  Although my favorite was a guy who essentially said if you expect someone to pay for their plate, that's not a gift.  It's payment.  So why not just sell tickets to your stupid wedding?

s-aries8990

I may not be thrilled, but ya know, I receive some gosh darn ugly sweaters from people for Christmas. I don't say "do you have the receipt? I can't wear this, it's too ugly." I say thank you and take it into my own hands.

Gahhh

NerdyLucy

I just don't understand that mindset.

 

Yes, at my wedding and reception, I'm paying X amount of money for you to be there, have dinner, etc., but it's because I WANT you to be there, not to get gifts.  FI and I aren't registered anywhere, we're having no shower, and we don't expect gifts.  If someone, out of the kindness of his/her heart, gives us so much as a $5 candle, we'll be grateful to get it. 

 

buddysmom80

I would love a gift basket for any occasion. When I closed on my home, my dad's friend who helped out during the process (my dad had surgery and couldn't drive back and forth 200 miles one day) gave us a gift basket like that. OMG seriously, it was so so helpful the first few weeks of getting adjusted to a new life (new home, moving in with BF, etc). These two are twits.

FWIW, a lot of people where I live (Connecticut) have the mentality of "you'll make your money back from envelopes". My friend is getting married, her BM who purposely took down her registry on BB&B before her wedding so people couldn't bring gifts complained to my friend that a wedding with 50 people would be "boring" and to invite "whoever would bring money, since obviously, they're going to pay for their dinner". Um, not really. We usually bring $200 for a wedding, this time only $100 since she's having a cash bar. I'm sure we'll be called out on it, I don't give a fuck. I still think it's rude to think of a wedding as a fundraising event. Bring a jar of peanut butter as a gift, I don't care, as long as you're there with me.

harper0813

Holy balls that's rude. That is such a cool, meaningful gift - I actually registered for a picnic basket so this gift sounds amazing to me!

Dude, bride, you hosted a wedding. Host does not mean what you apparently think it means.

vineheart137

I just read this article and came here to see if anybody else had seen it!

Here is the full story (from the gift-giver's POV) if anyone is interested: http://m.thespec.com/news-story/3845206-have-your-say-about-the-wedding-gift-firestorm/

vineheart137

Ugh I'm sorry... I didn't realize the OP linked the article already and now I can't figure out how to edit my post on my phone lol.

CallaLily25

That is horrendous.

MrsMack10612

We had several guests who didn't give a gift, not even a card.  Big whoop.

I can only imagine how they would have reacted to that.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Djinxs

What did I just read?! Whyyyyy? Too many people just don't realize (or care) that gifts aren't even required at a wedding. I think I threw up in my mouth a little when the bride said weddings are for getting money for your future. I dunno about them, but my wedding was about, you know, sharing our love and devotion and happiness with our family and friends.

I can't even wrap my mind around this. (I do agree with some of the comments that the dude taking a pot shot at gay marriage was uncalled for, but the rest of it was totally on the brides. Gross.)

Totally unrelated, @LMc0322 - I love your sig picture. Raises my blood pressure just looking at it and thinking about getting to the airport

golden1215

Also, I don't think most brides realize in the heat of weddings and money and paying for it and all that jazz that down the road, you'll love the gifts the most. I have no idea what we ended up spending our wedding cash on... but I remember our wedding day every time I use certain serving dishes and my most loved wedding gift was a wooden, inscribed mirror that was not even on our registry and something I never would have thought to buy that now hangs in our front hallway and makes me smile every time I see it. 

lyndausvi

I have no words.

On another note back in the day I use to give a basket filled with all the makings for chocolate chip cookies. I put in chips, flour, sugar, vanilla, brown sugar, cookie sheet, spatula, spoons, mixing bowls, measuring cups and spoons, pot holders and personalized milk glasses.  I  happy to say it was always a hit and no one called me out on the gift.