Bride shames Guest for giving picnic basket of food-items

aurianna

OliveOilsMom said:

Ugh, the local news just mentioned this letter and the female host said you have to cover your plate and the guy said the gift was cheap.  They didn't even mention that the most of the food in the basket was high end.  They also said this took place in Europe.  I really hate how the news just tries to rile up people instead of reporting the actual situation.

I just... I don't understand this mindset!
What do they expect the guests to do to even find out the cost per plate? Call the venue and ask how much the wedding is costing them? What if they have an outside caterer? Are they supposed to ask the bride and groom directly what it costs per plate (that seems insanely rude). Are they supposed to hound them for which package tier option they got from their caterers so they can price it themselves? Find out how many guests RSVPd yes so they know what percentage of the venue rental fee to pick up??
I'm honestly baffled here how anyone is supposed to just automatically know how much they are "supposed" to cover without asking some very rude questions.

And even more so... I just love how people think that if they have an expensive wedding then their guests can automatically afford an expensive dinner fee gift. What do they want? Do they expect their little old grandmother who is living off of social security to decline the wedding invite if she can't afford a $100 dinner? And I guess this should preclude them from even bothering to invite friends who are still in school that may opt to pay their med school bills vs a meal they didn't get to choose.

The last really fancy wedding I went to, apps were sushi and main course was salmon. I don't eat fish (great side potatoes though!). So after the money to travel, the expensive hotel room (Wedding was NYE in a big city), if I'd thought it was required I "cover my plate" (assuming we could have even afforded that at that point which we could not) why would we even go to that reception when we could just go order what we want from Ruth's Chris Steakhouse instead? I don't know... because we wanted to celebrate with our friend and his new wife and thought they honestly wanted us there for that reason?
(But you know what is so sad... this suddenly has me paranoid. We never did get a thank you and it's been over a year. And I'm pretty sure our gift did not cover the plates. Now I'm like mortified that in the bride's circle that's what the guests are "supposed" to do and I'm suddenly feeling guilt over it. What kind of mind frak is that???)

aurianna

double post of my rant

hacked

I got a couple of gifts like that, and I loved them.  I still use one of the sugar cookie recipes I got- best EVER!

When I was in jr. high I remember a lady in our church making a comment about a gift my mother had given her newly married daughter.  My mother told her to give the gift back to her, and she would replace it with something else.  The bride returned the gift to my mother, who never replaced it.  My mother said she had no intention of doing so, since she was so offended by the mother of the brides's complaint.

hacked

Oops! Hit "reply" instead of "quote"  The first was in response to lyndausvi's post about the chocolate chip cookies.  Cant' fins how to edit!

PhoneCardLady

Years ago when my BFF got married, the ladies in the bridal party gave her a lovely picnic basket, filled with all kinds of goodies!  They loved it!

Wonder what they would have said if they got cleaning supplies instead....

loves2shop4shoes

It's called a "gift" and not a "cover" for a reason.

I would say I'm shocked and outraged, but the same thing happened to me. When my cousin got married, I was just a law student and DH was the only one supporting us. And so when my cousin got married, we have her a $95 Waterford picture frame. She went around and told my entire family that I was cheap and because I brought a "date" (my fiancé!) I really should have given more.

And then for my wedding, her card just had a smiley face, and she gave me an obviously re-gifted glass bowl.

lyndsay782

loves2shop4shoes

Seriously? That's pretty low on your cousin's part.  A $95 is a big gift by my standards, and I'd be thrilled with it. 

I'm actually ok with regifting, because I'd rather something go to someone who will use it than it sit around or go in the garbage, but when you do it, you can't make it obvious.  That's a straight up d-bag move.  

I'd post the d-bag jar gif I saw earlier, but I'm at work...

PhoneCardLady

Apparently the bride has not been grocery shopping of late....or knows the prices...none of the items was store brand...