Wedding Etiquette Forum

Appropriate ways to thank someone for a cash gift

Good morning all,

So, someone sent us a card with a check in it and that got me thinking.  What's the proper way to write a thank you card for this without it sounding lame?  FI already sent a thank you text and we deposited it (not using it until after the wedding), but I'm just not sure how to go about writing it.  I feel like saying "thanks for the check/money/whatever" just sounds too....wrong

What should I say in these situations?  Would it be acceptable to say something along the lines of thanking them for the card, and then going on to talk about using the money on something after the wedding?  Is it inappropriate to thank them for the "gift", even though it's not a boxed gift?  "Thanks so much for your generous gift!  We'll be able to use that after the wedding for fixing up our new place together. etc"-or something along those lines.  Yes? No?

What do you think?

Re: Appropriate ways to thank someone for a cash gift

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    vk2204vk2204 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    We said, "thank you for the generous gift of money, we will be using it towards xyz. We can't wait to see you at the wedding (or if they cannot make it, we will miss you at the wedding)".
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    I agree with pps. I think it's great to say what you'll be putting the money towards so that the guest feels appreciated and happy that you're putting the money to good use.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    i always call it a gift and tell people what we will do with it.
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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    We told people what we planned to use it for and called it a "generous gift."

    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    Thanks!  My FI was trying to convince me that thanking someone for their "gift" was weird when it wasn't a physical gift.  I'm glad to know it's ok to say that!
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    There are two ways to do it, according to Miss Manners:

    One is to determine what you're going to spend the money on and then thank the giver for making it possible to buy/save/etc. whatever your goal is.  This is generally the best way to go.

    The other is to thank them for their kind/thoughtful/generous/very generous/incredibly generous gift, with the term chosen according to the amount given.  She gives a scale in her Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, although it may have changed since the Guide was published. 
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    phiraphira member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    When I had my Bat Mitzvah, I had to write thank-you notes for a lot of cash gifts. My mom told me what a lot of PPs have said, that it's appropriate to give them some idea of what you're doing with the gift.

    "Thank you so much for your thoughtful gift! We have been looking forward to getting a new couch for a long time, and now we're closer to achieving that goal.

    We're looking forward to seeing you at the wedding!/It was wonderful to see you at the wedding; we're so glad you could spend the day with us!/We're sorry that you were unable to attend, but hopefully we will be able to see you soon and thank you in person!"
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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    This could take a lot of work, but my sister sort of assigned each gift to what they needed around the house. So, each person got a different item:

    "Thank you so much for your generous gift. We plan on using it to purchase a new washing machine/curtains for the dining room/couch/rug/blender (etc etc etc). It was wonderful seeing you at the wedding and were so happy you were able to celebrate with us. Looking forward to seeing you at the beach house this summer."

    And, this goes without saying - the thank you card is the important part, with a honest message. It wouldn't matter to me how you word that card (allocating the gift vs. saying you're going to save), but the hand-written card says you appreciated it. 

    But, you sound as if you are on the right track, so no matter what you do, it will be fine.
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    I think everyone else has it covered. But I would have try to deter future "text" thank you notes going forward.
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    @FierceFemme (I'm so used to writing your old name!)-That's a good point.  FI just sort of did that before I had a chance to stop him.  I think the only reason he did that is because their gift was VERY generous and he wanted to make sure they knew we got it.  In the future I'll ask him to wait before doing such things-to give me a chance to possibly talk him out of it :)
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