Etiquette

Drink coupons? What the?

We went to a wedding last week.  As we walked into the cocktail hour space, we were each given a small card with a coupon attached.  It was one of those red coupons you see at carnivals or fairs- the kind that come in a long roll and you tear them off and hand them out.  The card the coupons were attached to said they were good for one signature cocktail.  They had a table with the signatures cocktails (they tasted like dirty dishwater), and you gave them the coupon and got the drink.  There was no bar to buy anything else, or even a table with pitchers of water and glasses.  

Once we got into the reception room, we had another two coupons attached to the dinner menu.  They did have a bar, and after you used up your two coupons, you could buy drinks from a limited selection.

Has anyone ever heard of this?

I kind of got the feeling the bride thought her guests would get roaring drunk and drool all over ourselves.  I know the crowd and this is not the case.  It smacks of either being cheap or controlling.  
NYCMercedes
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Re: Drink coupons? What the?

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Yes, I've heard of it and file it under rude. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    Blue_Bird
  • hacked said:
    We went to a wedding last week.  As we walked into the cocktail hour space, we were each given a small card with a coupon attached.  It was one of those red coupons you see at carnivals or fairs- the kind that come in a long roll and you tear them off and hand them out.  The card the coupons were attached to said they were good for one signature cocktail.  They had a table with the signatures cocktails (they tasted like dirty dishwater), and you gave them the coupon and got the drink.  There was no bar to buy anything else, or even a table with pitchers of water and glasses.  

    Once we got into the reception room, we had another two coupons attached to the dinner menu.  They did have a bar, and after you used up your two coupons, you could buy drinks from a limited selection.

    Has anyone ever heard of this?

    I kind of got the feeling the bride thought her guests would get roaring drunk and drool all over ourselves.  I know the crowd and this is not the case.  It smacks of either being cheap or controlling.  
    Yep. I've heard of it (here) and it's horrible, as you found out.
  • Yup. Our rehearsal dinner venue suggested it... Yikes!
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  • I don't think I'd use the word "cheap," but definitely controlling. Most brides on here that want to use drink tickets do so in hopes of limiting the drinks per person in hopes they won't get too drunk.

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  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Yep, I've been to a wedding that did that. The drink coupons were good for the alcohol (wine and beer for sure - don't remember liquor or not) and soda. Yes, when you ran out of drink tickets, you had to pay for soda. I think soda should always be hosted because it's so damn cheap (syrup tanks, I mean, you get so many cups out of those), so that really rubbed me the wrong way. I mean on top of the drink tickets, of course.
  • Before seeing it on TK, I always thought drink tickets were reserved for corporate events or school reunions.  And even at those events I find them obnoxious and silly.  I'd probably just leave a wedding if I was handed drink tickets.  If I had the balls I'd send them back to the couple in the wedding card.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
    NYCMercedes
  • Yep, I've been to a wedding that did that. The drink coupons were good for the alcohol (wine and beer for sure - don't remember liquor or not) and soda. Yes, when you ran out of drink tickets, you had to pay for soda. I think soda should always be hosted because it's so damn cheap (syrup tanks, I mean, you get so many cups out of those), so that really rubbed me the wrong way. I mean on top of the drink tickets, of course.
    @muppetfan @muppetoverlord - your $0.02 please?
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  • I've heard of it (on here; luckily I have never seen it in real life) and it's incredibly rude.
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited June 2013
    NYCBruin said:
    Before seeing it on TK, I always thought drink tickets were reserved for corporate events or school reunions.  And even at those events I find them obnoxious and silly.  I'd probably just leave a wedding if I was handed drink tickets.  If I had the balls I'd send them back to the couple in the wedding card.

    Yep. Drink tickets are only used for commercial events. At private events, such as weddings, the host/couple are being cheap.... I2I, we NYC folks stick together!
    NYCBruin
  • I've never encountered this. I've only read about it here. 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    It's very rude.
  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    @Liatris2010, directed at me? Sorry, it's a touch unclear and I'm running on fumes right now.
  • edited August 2013
    Post removed due to GBCK
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    Anniversary

    NOLAbridealmost
  • I've seen it at conferences, but thankfully never at a wedding.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

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  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Thanks, Lia. I promise to rest/sleep more ...
  • edited June 2013
    Yep, I've been to a wedding that did that. The drink coupons were good for the alcohol (wine and beer for sure - don't remember liquor or not) and soda. Yes, when you ran out of drink tickets, you had to pay for soda. I think soda should always be hosted because it's so damn cheap (syrup tanks, I mean, you get so many cups out of those), so that really rubbed me the wrong way. I mean on top of the drink tickets, of course.
    @muppetfan @muppetoverlord - your $0.02 please?
    Ha! Happy to. Am I that memorable on this topic??

    So I am from New Hampshire. I have been to more weddings than I can count and I have only been to 2 or 3 that did not have cash bars to an extent (and not one of them was in New Hampshire). It's common here for 100% cash bar, drink tickets, or hosted cocktail hour (only), or hosted signature drinks (only).

    I agree that all of the above is rude, and while I could never do any of this to my guests, it doesn't offend me because I'm used to it. I am appreciative when any alcohol is hosted as a result and would be delighted by drink tickets because it's a step up.   Otherwise, cash bar  typically just means it's a dry wedding for me and I deal with it ---with one exception. Unhosted soft drinks = Unforgivable and it's sadly incredibly common here. I've been to very few weddings where I wasn't charged for a diet coke.

    It's often the most memorable aspect of the wedding to me. You give me a meal, but I have to pay for something to wash it down with? What's worse is if water is not readily available!!!

    If you make me pay for a soft drink, I will judge you forever. 
    I'm not even kidding either, I remember the drink situation for every wedding I've ever been to and when I think about those weddings, I feel negative about them for a moment again.

    So in about 3 weeks, I'll be at a POTLUCK wedding with a CASH BAR. So we're hosting the reception we're invited to and they can't even give us punch.

    ETA: I should note that I have a problem where I get dehydrated really easily so I drink a lot and am a thirsty person. If I don't, I faint. So, it's a particularly sore topic for me.
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    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
    wittykitty14Liatris2010manateehugger
  • I am also from New Hampshire, have attended quite a few weddings and have never seen a cash bar or drink tickets. I'm surprised to read that cash bars are common in some circles here!
  • Fascinating!

    Most of my friends/family are in an upper middle class area (Merrimack/Hollis etc) and FI's circle is from a lower class area (Rochester) and in between all of that cash bars are still common amongst all of the various circles I touch.

    Though, now that I think of it, I may have been to ONE open bar wedding for my friends in Bedford. They had their wedding at the Wentworth and when I think about how elaborate it was, it would've been silly if it wasn't open bar. I may just not have had anything from it.

    All weddings I've been to otherwise in ME, MA, VT, R and NH had cash bars somehow. Weddings I went to in Philly, NC and CA were open.

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    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

  • We went to one AHR with drink tickets but at least it was a short event so were out of pocket for maybe one each.

    I did judge the heck out of a wedding we went to years ago. They had a head table and DH was in the wedding so we didn't get to sit together. They also charged me for my diet Coke BUT the WP drank for free. We loved the couple but I was SO pissed.

    That was in RI. Here in CT, cash bars are very rare.
  • edited June 2013
    Drink coupons.....sigh.
  • We live in PA and we're having a Sunday brunch wedding, so our bar limited to champagne, mimosas, and bellinis...

    2 days before our wedding we're having DDs graduation party, which will have a cash bar for alcohol...  Everything non-alcoholic is covered and there are plenty of options... Our reasoning was that many of the guests at this party will be DDs friends - i.e. under-age - so they can't drink anyway... and to be honest, we booked her party before I started lurking here so I didn't know how rude cash bars are... 

    I called to ask if we could switch and was told the venue doesn't do open bar for alcohol - not sure why - but at this point I can't add the stress of finding a new venue for the grad party to everything I'm doing to get ready for the wedding, etc.

    I hope we can fix this by having FI hang out near the bar and buy drinks for people as they approach it...  There are only going to be 20 adults at this party, so it shouldn't be too hard for him to stay on top of it....

     

  • @kryan32, would a consumption bar be an option?  Or just tell them you'll cover the bar tab?
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  • @happyfor25 - we're allowed to run a tab for non-alcoholic drinks but not for the alcohol...  What's a consumption bar? 

    Thanks!

     

     

  • happyfor25happyfor25 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited June 2013
    @kryan32, It's the same thing, I don't know why I wrote it that way.  The hosts pay the bar tab at the end of the event.  It's odd that they won't let you do it that way.  Would they hold a credit card or something and then allow you to pay the tab at the end of the party?


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  • @happyfor25 - they said we can't run a tab for alcohol - just for the non-alcoholic punch and the sodas... The lady didn't explain why and at the time I didn't press her for a reason - I guess I could go back and do that...

    I wonder if they would let us buy the drinks in advance - like pay them for 100 drinks up front - and then they can reimburse us if we don't use the whole amount?  I guess that's something else I can ask them...

    We're not allowed to bring our own alcohol to the venue - it's a fire company and it can only be beer/liquor they're supplying...  Do you have any other ideas I could try?

    Thanks!

     

     

  • @kryan32, I would definitely ask them about paying up front and then have them let you know if the funds are getting low.  With mostly underaged guests, you probably won't have to worry about a huge bar bill.  Good luck!
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  • Yeah I'd totally try to figure out how they will let you cover the bar tab....I mean seriously, if they want to be real hardasses about it, I'd give them some cash or a credit card and they can keep taking from that cash for each drink or running the card.

    I've never been to a graduation party where I had to pay for a drink. It wouldn't even occur to me to bring money.

    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

  • rajahmdrajahmd Galifrey member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited August 2013
  • I wouldn't go so far as to call drink tickets "incredibly rude." Some brides and grooms have to pay for the whole wedding themselves. If you've got a fair number of friends who are on the lush side and you need to keep costs down, I don't think drink tickets are all that bad. Tacky, yes. But, I wouldn't go so far as to call it "rude." Additionally, some venues may have a limited liquor license, and they might not be able to serve unlimited amount of liquor. Your privilege, ladies, is showing.

    We're lucky enough to have my father financing a lot of our wedding. However, he does not drink alcohol- at all. He's generously offered to pay for a hosted cocktail hour with a very limited selection of drinks (margaritas, beer, and non-alcoholic drinks), and a glass of champagne for the wedding party for toasting, with a cash bar for the rest. We were able to negotiate very good prices on the cash bar - $3 for a top-shelf drink. We're basically getting drinks at cost.

    Given that my active-duty fiance's friends are primarily active-duty military and love to 'celebrate', we're anticipating they're going to drink a lot. Our reception venue is pretty remote (think unlit back, winding roads), and we don't want any accidents. We're also hiring a cab for the night to help prevent drunk driving. As much as we love our friends, we know that they don't always have the best judgement.

    My fiance and I have decided that it's important to us that our wedding party is able to drink whatever and however much they want, so we've asked our reception venue to keep a tab open for anyone wearing a corsage, along with a glass of champagne for the rest of our guests. We are still deciding whether to pay for a glass of wine with dinner or not, as we've got a lot of other expenses right now. 

    So, there are ways to compromise on preventing people from drinking too much, and compromising on costs. But I still wouldn't go so far as to call tickets "rude." You're attending a wedding to celebrate the union of two people who love each other and want to build a life together, NOT to drink and be entertained for free.
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