I'd never ask friends to help with the wedding...

Bubbles2014

But if they offer to help out before the wedding or on the day is it OK to accept that? I have a situation with my venue (one of MANY) where they don't set up the tables until an hour before the ceremony and they won't set up any decorations unless I assign someone to oversee it and be 100% responsible for how it looks. I can't be that person because that is right in the middle of our first look photos. I was telling a friend about it (just venting) and she offered to oversee it because she likes that kind of thing. I would never ask a friend to do work at my wedding, but is it OK to have her do this job since she offered?

lschwar2

Sure...as long as you don't think she only offered because she thought you were fishing for it.

Kate61487

Yes.  If she volunteers it's fine to accept.  I'd write her an extra thank you note for it.

allispain

Since she volunteered (as long as you don't think she felt pressured to do so) I would accept and not only write her a note but maybe get her a small gift as well to thank her for taking care of it for you.

daisey18

 I don't quite understand how you have many venues- but, if a friend offers to help, yes, of course you can accept their offer. If this is something that may be overwhelming for one person- even though she offered- then you should consider hiring a day of coordinator instead. But if it's not a huge amount of decorating to oversee, and she seems confidant about it- that's fine.

manateehugger

daisey18 said:

 I don't quite understand how you have many venues- but, if a friend offers to help, yes, of course you can accept their offer. If this is something that may be overwhelming for one person- even though she offered- then you should consider hiring a day of coordinator instead. But if it's not a huge amount of decorating to oversee, and she seems confidant about it- that's fine.

Pretty sure she meant one of many issues with her venue...

vineheart137

PDKH said:

 I don't quite understand how you have many venues- but, if a friend offers to help, yes, of course you can accept their offer. If this is something that may be overwhelming for one person- even though she offered- then you should consider hiring a day of coordinator instead. But if it's not a huge amount of decorating to oversee, and she seems confidant about it- that's fine.

Pretty sure she meant one of many issues with her venue...

This is how I understood it as well.

daisey18

PDKH said:

Pretty sure she meant one of many issues with her venue...

That makes sense now. Thanks!

misssunshine17

its fine. I would get hera small thank you gift also.

southernbelle0915

Kate61487 said:

Yes.  If she volunteers it's fine to accept.  I'd write her an extra thank you note for it.

This.

AddieCake

Absolutely. My bridesmaids and an aunt set up our reception while I was getting my hair done.

NOLAbridealmost

If she offered then of course it's okay.

Jen4948

If she offered, certainly.  Give her a nice thank-you note and gift (it doesn't have to be large or expensive, but nice).

Bubbles2014

Thanks, ladies! I just know that it is rude to ask (not that I ever would, if I need help my FI can help me, or maybe my mum is she is able to) but I wasn't sure if it was OK to take volunteers.

Thanks again!

BarbLovesDave

"I'd like to help you with your wedding."

"No, I can't ask guests to help. I really think that's rude and I want you to enjoy your day."

"But I insist! I really want to help. I love you and want to help make your day beautiful."

"Are you sure? We sure could use some help."

"Then it's a done deal. I will gladly help. Just tell me when and where I need to be."

MuppetOverlord

I don't offer help unless I'm serious.

MuppetOverlord

BarbLovesDave said:

"I'd like to help you with your wedding."

"No, I can't ask guests to help. I really think that's rude and I want you to enjoy your day."

"But I insist! I really want to help. I love you and want to help make your day beautiful."

"Are you sure? We sure could use some help."

"Then it's a done deal. I will gladly help. Just tell me when and where I need to be."

I don't see why she has to decline at all.

I do what you're saying with money. Like if someone tries to pick up the tab, I make them insist twice before I put my wallet away.

Not everyone is going to insist by nature. You tell my fiance no, he's going to just say "ok, well I'm here if you need anything"...and then you'd feel dumb asking him to do what he originally offered to help you with when he was serious about offering in the first place.