After you're married, how do you stop the attempts at taking over your uterus

Pookieson

Holy crap, every. single. person. that sees us asks, "Soooooo.....when are the babies coming?????!!!!" *insert annoying squeeling here*  I just laugh awkwardly and say, "well it is going to be awhile"  We already have a 6 year old, almost 7 year old (from my previous marriage), it isn't like my womb hasn't been used.  Then I get the incredibly insensitive and medically inaccurate statements about how my uterus is comparable to the grand canyon once I hit 30 (in 20 days) so I better get that baby maker running or I might miss my chance.  My daughter is the only child under 18 on my mom and dads side and on my husbands dads side (his moms husband has some little grand kids) so they all have baby fever.  My grandmother in law stopped by unexpectedly and we had moved the computer desk out of the office and she goes, "ooooh!!! are we making a nursery!!!???"  I just said, uh....no....we're painting....and cleaning....stuff.  Ugh, everyday.  My mom sent me a list of baby names she likes...for the love of all things holy, how can I make this stop (nicely...I've thought of all the mean things in my head)

ZeroOrchestra

It never ends. Even after you have a kid (if you decide to) everyone will eventually ask when the next is coming.

Pookieson

Son of a....this shiz is ridiculous.  Who gave other women the idea that after 30 my vagina, uterus and ovaries will all go ninja on each other until they eventually fall out of my vagina?  Sooooo ridiculous.  Where did people get the notion my reproductive choices were public knowledge???

kryan32

lol Shannon.  I'm 46 - from past marriages FI and I have 4 kids - 28 yo (with a 4yo of her own), 21 yo, 18 yo, and 13 yo. 

But people are still asking if we're going to have a baby together... like the ones we already have don't count because they don't belong to both of us...

sigh... people are crazy sometimes...

 

itzMS

My DH and I told every person who asked us that they have "Reset the clock!" and we would explain that we're going to start trying a year from the day the last person asks us about when we're having kids.

Yeah, it's sarcastic, but it shut people up reallyyyy quick.

Pookieson

Awwww animals!  @Stage, I feel you.  The last person that asked me was H's know-it-all step sister who just plopped out baby #4.  All of her kids are effin' monsters and I really dislike them.  I want to say, "When I spend more than 5 minutes around your demon spawn I want to rip my own ovaries out."  However, that is probably a little rude....I guess.  She is annoying on a whole other level besides her kids; she thinks they crap out skittles and rainbows and are just perfect little special snowflakes!  She even asked my daughter, "Soooo....when are you going to have your mom and dad make some brothers and sisters for you???!!!" Luckily my daughter responds, "uh....I don't know...pretty sure it is not up to me......or you."  *proud parent moment* The best thing about kids: they are unfiltered.

MairePoppy

Say you hate kids. That usually shocks them into silence for a while.

But the nosey questions don't stop, even after you have kids. They ask when you're going to have another. After you have the other, they ask when you're going to get your husband 'fixed.' Or your MIL suggests she'll pay for you to get your tubes tied after the third one. 

Pookieson

MairePoppy said:

Say you hate kids. That usually shocks them into silence for a while.

But the nosey questions don't stop, even after you have kids. They ask when you're going to have another. After you have the other, they ask when you're going to get your husband 'fixed.' Or your MIL suggests she'll pay for you to get your tubes tied after the third one. 

WTF??? Hilarious.  I have to have a c-section due to previous complications, so I'll just have them snip those suckers while they are in there.  I can't say I hate kids because I really like mine...and a handful of other peoples.  The shitty part is that we have a preconception appointment coming up because I had a lot of difficulty with my first pregnancy.  We are both okay with just having DD, so if the doc says it's too risky we are okay with that, but people know what a rough time I had with her and are STILL asking me!  How do they know I can even procreate still???  Seems rather insensitive to me.

MairePoppy

Good luck at your appointment. 

AddieCake

I absolutely hate it when people pester about this. I'm trying to get pregnant right now, and whenever someone pesters about it, I am so tempted to respond, "I'm struggling as we speak to get pregnant. Thanks for reminding me I may not be able to." 

You're right, Shannon, it is VERY insensitive, especially since they know your previous complications!  The gall is shocking to me. 

Pookieson

At this point I am okay and can deal with whatever answer we get.  There is an upside if I can't have more offspring.  I get to tell all those bitches, "You were right, my uterus shiveled up and died" and then run of crying.  Ahhhh payback, a-holes.

 

This will my cry face.  I have it planned.

Pepper6

I had a few people ask us after we got married, but they knew we were planning to wait a while, so it was more a legit question of "how long are you waiting" vs 'OMG MUST HAVE ALL THE BABIES IMMEDIATELY" kind of thing.  The only person who's really been persistent about us having kids right away is my dad, but I just ignore him.

Of course, now that we are actually TTC, we've decided not to tell our families because I know they'll take that as fair game for hounding me every month asking if I'm pregnant yet.

Pookieson

yeah if we get the green light we won't start trying for probably another year or so (unless they tell me I need to step on it) just because I really like wine...and my kids will already be 8 years apart, hell what's 9???

Pookieson

Oh sticky fingers are so gross!  That and the smacking of food.  The two things I've beaten into my poor kids head.  Napkins are your friend and no one wants to see what you are chewing. 

radleyboo

H had a vasectomy and people still ask.  

AnitaH08

itzMS said:

My DH and I told every person who asked us that they have "Reset the clock!" and we would explain that we're going to start trying a year from the day the last person asks us about when we're having kids.

Yeah, it's sarcastic, but it shut people up reallyyyy quick.

I love this one. Except I've said 5 years instead of one. That's partially because the person asking was only doing it because she knows it makes me ragey.

When will people learn that essentially asking about someone else's sex life is RUDE?

MissMolly

Shannon1401 said:

Son of a....this shiz is ridiculous.  Who gave other women the idea that after 30 my vagina, uterus and ovaries will all go ninja on each other until they eventually fall out of my vagina?  Sooooo ridiculous.  Where did people get the notion my reproductive choices were public knowledge???

Well crap. I'm 35; FH is 43. I guess that at our gift opening, people will be telling us to get on the baby-making bandwagon.

Peledreamsofrain

Post removed due to GBCK

annathy03

My FMIL is baby crazy and asks FI every time we see them when we're going to give them grandkids.  Fortunately she hasn't started asking ME directly yet, but I'm sure she will after the wedding.

I like @ItzMS's "Reset the Clock" idea, I might give that a try. 

MoonlightSilver

"Oh, when are you having kids!?"

"As soon as we figure out how to make them. Can you tell me how it's done?"

lyndsay782

Courtpenguin21 said:

Shannon1401 said:

Oh sticky fingers are so gross!  That and the smacking of food.  The two things I've beaten into my poor kids head.  Napkins are your friend and no one wants to see what you are chewing. 

My big pet peeve is sticky faces and then letting your freaking kid go outside where they get dirt on themselves. Totally grosses me out.

I'm not even engaged yet but apparently (according to some of my coworkers) my SO and I have been together long enough that they want to know when we are having kids?! Give me a break, haven't even gotten the ring yet, one step at a time. And this is from coworkers!

My MOH was like your coworker.  She however has been married for 12 years now, and didn't want kids because it would cut into her partying/travel (which is her choice,  and smart of her not to have a kid just because the world says too).  It became so insistent and persistent that I started answering "Right after you do".  

She stopped asking.   

pesematology

Ask them how is babby formed.

[Deleted User]

Back in my Freshman year in college my mom told me that If I "got pregnant and had a baby the state would pay for more of my college!"... She wasn't joking... I did not have a boyfriend at the time... If you want to meet baby crazy, just look at my mom. She use to "joke" about how I should just puncture the condom.

But, good luck. It sounds really obnoxious. I only get it from my mom at this point and I can't imagine how much my head would hurt if everyone pestered me the way she does.

HobokensFury

People ask us like every day.  I will be turning 30 soon so I do hear my biological clock ticking but mother nature hasn't decided to work yet.

winelover123

Ugh, I used to get this a lot - and we're not even married yet. I eventually told people to stay out of my sex life or my reproductive system, depending on how much they were pissing me off. They stopped asking....for now.

FI and I don't want kids. I've had people ask me what the point of getting married is if we aren't having kids. I usually say it's a partnership or ask them if they realize that it is possible to have children outside of marriage too. That one gets me more than asking when we are going to have kids though.

lovesclimbing

I've been lucky in not getting too much of it.  But then, I've been adamant ever since I was a teen that I was not having a baby before I finished college.  And I have one year to go.  So everyone in my immediate family knows that.  But as soon as I finish, I expect to get slammed.

I haven't seen my grandma since the wedding.  On my mom's side, I'm the first grandchild to get pregnant so I can't wait to get questions from her about when I'm gonna pop out the first great grandchild.

Usually, when acquaintances or coworkers ask, I say "not for a while" or "not for a few years".

pesematology

EMMA magazine (basically the German version of Ms.) sold buttons for a while. Germany is even more baby-crazy than the US, and women who aren't even married regularly get pestered about how many children they plan to have. So there were these buttons that just said, "I want one" or "I want two" or "I want none" and you just wore your button and pointed to it if anyone asked.

monkeysip

Yeah, that started for us after we got engaged.  We weren't even having sex yet, and people were bothering us to have a baby.

We don't get much of that now though.  The problem is, these same people, after you have a couple kids, will be asking you when you're "done" and going to get "fixed".  You can't win with people--you always have too few or too many kids in their eyes.  

I feel worse for my sister and her husband who have been trying for 4 years.  Even people who know they've been trying (like my Dad) still pester her.  Ummm.... infertility is a really difficult thing for people, so maybe you should shut up now?  But she's too nice to shut them up.

rajahmd

Ajuliana

My mom is a kindergarten teacher and really wants grandbabies, but luckily my brother got married out of the blue before us, so now her focus is elsewhere!  FTW.

Then again, FMIL started taking bets at the last family party on when we will have one...she literally said "9 months after the wedding", which technically would mean I was either pregnant before the wedding or had a premature child, since 37 weeks is full term, right?  

I'm non commital about when to start trying, and don't want to tell people anyway since God only knows if we are both fertile.  We've been together 6 years and I've never had a pregnancy scare, and I've been on BC the whole time.

Summer2011Bride

We're not having kids, and I do get asked this quite a bit, even from total strangers/non-relatives. It's annoying as hell.

A retort I've heard before (possibly on here) is something to the effect of: "We'll have kids when the people asking decide to foot the bill for them." I might consider saying that next time I'm asked