Just Engaged and Proposals

My fiancé wants to wait two years to get married


Re: My fiancé wants to wait two years to get married

  • phiraphira member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    I agree with @coopergirl15. While I wouldn't want a 2-year engagement, if the logic is, "Get engaged when you're ready to be married ASAP!" then by that logic, why waste a year saving money and booking vendors when you could just get married immediately?

    I have friends who've had long engagements for a variety of reasons. One friend of mine was about to start vet school and wanted to wait till she was done to start planning the wedding. Another friend had been with her fiance for 6 years before he proposed, but they weren't living in the same place when they got engaged. They waited to start planning the wedding till they moved in together again, so they'll have a two year engagement.

    Again, the issue here is that the OP doesn't want to wait 2 years, and her fiance does. I'm not going to try to convince her that she's wrong or her fiance's wrong--they need to sit down and find a way to compromise.
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
  • FI and I will have been engaged for 2 years and 4 months by the time we get married next month. It's been great for us because it gave me time to finish school without focusing on the wedding details while still giving us plenty of time to get everything organized. 

    I agree with most of the PP's. Sit down and have a talk about your reasons for wanting each time frame. You might discover that he has some really good reasons for wanting to wait two years. 
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  • I never get why people would bother get engaged unless they're ready to get married within a year, to me, it make sense to just keep dating until then. I secretly think some guys do it because they sense the woman is getting "antsy" and to make her happy they propose, but deep down they know they may not be really ready, so they won't rush to set a date. But, its a good temporary solution I guess, and buys him more time....
    Judgemental much?  I guess you've never heard of saving up for the wedding or finishing school or any of the million other reasons to have a long engagement. Lurk a little while before coming here with stuff like this.
      Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Long engagements are not bad! We got engaged May 2012 and our wedding date is September 2014! OVER 2 years engaged before getting married. It's been so nice to have the time not only to continue enjoying our normal activities and day trips, but also save money slowly for the wedding :) As it turns out, because we waited we are able to get married in Walt Disney World and personally I cannot wait! Yes, it seems long, but rushing into something (even when you are ready) could back fire :( 
  • Congrats on your engagement!

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  • Congrats on your engagement.  Waiting 2 years may seem like a long time but as others have said you may want to talk to him and find out his reasons for waiting.  My fiancé and I have been engaged since February and if he had his way we would be married by the end of this year.  I chose to wait til next year because we have things that need to be in order (jobs, housing, money, etc) and I want to be almost done with school when I get married ( i'll have one semester left). I know you would have been together 10 years by that time but when it comes to planning a wedding, the more time the better.
  • "I never get why people would bother get engaged unless they're ready to get married within a year, to me, it make sense to just keep dating until then."

    Trust me, I would have gladly loved to have been married within a year of getting engaged. But we wanted to be able to throw a nice reception for our family and friends. So we weren't going to bankrupt ourselves by rushing to marry as soon as possible. So 2 years and 3 months later we will be throwing an awesome party for our friends and family this November.

    Don't assume people set dates far out because they aren't ready to marry.
  • We will be engaged for 17 months when we get married.  We would be happy to get married tomorrow, but we are having a longer engagement for several reasons such as:

    Saving money so we can have the wedding we want without going into debt
    Getting married at the time of year we want to 
    Venue availability
    Giving our guests plenty of notice since more than half the guest list is OOT
    Our church requires at least a 6 month engagement
    I will be at my job a full-year by then and able to take time off for the honeymoon.  It was important to us that we take a honeymoon right away

    There are a million reasons why people have longer engagements.  Don't assume that it has anything to do with being ready for marriage.  
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
  • My fiancé is trying to finish up Army training and move to a more permanent station before we get married.

    But you're right, he probably just proposed since I nagged and he wanted to keep me happy. No other reason at all.

    [Deleted User]Ajuliana
  • Also, WTF does your comment about not getting any younger mean?

    Getting married isn't like buying groceries.  There is no expiration date.

    And I guess good for you that cutting 40 people from your list was more important than waiting.  But to suggest that everyone feels that way is insane.  Personally the people I want at my wedding are far more important to me than something like a date.  Having them there is well worth the wait to me. FI isn't a pair of half-off shoes that are going to be gone tomorrow if I don't buy them right now.  We love each other.  Nothing's going to change that.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
  • My fiance is totally ok with going to the courthouse or Vegas (so not happening). I wanted to have the wedding in 2015 (engaged June 21st) because I have various family members that I would like to be there and might have the issue getting a visa.  I don't find it odd that he wants to wait that long, after I broke down the costs to my fiance he relented. I feel like there is a lot to be discussed, why you only want to wait a year and him 2 ....and if he shuts you down I don't think the main problem is the timing of the wedding but communication in the relationship
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