So, H and I have been married just about a year. I waffled a lot with whether to change and/or hyphenate my last name, but decided finally just to keep my birth name as is. No change, not even a little bit. No hyphen, no taking-his-socially, no "making my last my middle and taking his last." Many people have either taken hints (return address labels, Facebook, etc) or asked me flat out, and have taken note and continued to use my real and correct name.
But a handful of acquaintances, mainly friends of H's from college that we keep in touch with and see at weddings, don't seem to get the hint at all. For several weddings this year, we have been invited as Mr and Mrs HisLast, and I have returned the RSVP as MyFirst MyLast and HisFirst HisLast, complete with my Ms. First Last return address label and a wedding gift soon after bought on my credit card (where I know the shipping slip includes my billing name). Only to arrive and find an escort card with MyFirst HisLast and a thank you note later on addressed again to "The HisLasts."
It irks me when people continue to use a name that isn't mine even beyond an initial assumption followed by a subtle correction from me. I don't know whether people truly don't believe I kept my name, or think I should have changed it, or think it's just easier for them to write it as if I changed it, or what. To me, it would be the same as if I had a long, hard to spell name from a foreign country -- yes it might be a slight pain for you to write, but it doesn't warrant using a wrong name/spelling.
So, what say you, etiquette gurus? I feel like I've utilized all of my correctional defenses within etiquette, and am really biting my tongue not to say something ruder.