Pre-wedding Parties

Re: a

  • Yeah, this is what happens when you give other people control by letting them hold the purse strings.

    My suggestion is to just take a deep breath and let it go. Don't assume your parents will be embarrassed, and don't express anything but gratitude to both sets of parents. There is nothing to handle.
  • Bluebird has good advice. Remember that your reception will be a huge celebration of you and your fiance. Everyone will be happy and excited for you in your big white dress. Be thankful that your guests will be entertained at two fabulous parties. Be thankful that your in-laws are so supportive of your marriage.
  • I was in a wedding last summer where this happened. The MOG paid for the RD and it was a very formal sit-down dinner with open bar, entree selections, the works. The reception the next day was buffet style and while the food was just as delicious, it definitely had a more casual feel. You know who noticed? No one. And if they did, they sure didn't say anything. I agree with Blue Bird about focusing on showing gratitude toward both sets of parents for planning the events they are able to, and don't get caught up in who is able to spend more. Enjoy the whole process!
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  • edited July 2013
    You shouldn't worry about this. The RD and wedding don't have to match in formality. Enjoy the lavish dinner that your FMIL is planning for your rehearsal. FMIL shouldn't comment on the buffet and  limited bar for the WR, though, because she's not hosting that event. If she brings it up again, tell her that your parents are planning a perfect wedding, as far as your concerned, and that you and Fi are very thankful for their gift. 

    Edit - clarity
                       
  • I wouldn't worry about it.  I attended a wedding like this last year, and nobody really thought anything of it.
  • I'd keep my mouth shut and enjoy all the celebrations. Truthfully, very few people will compare the two. Its all about celebrating your union, food and drink. I don't think I've ever shown up to a reception that I hated. If there was food, drink and interesting company then the decorations and such were just a perk. 

    I don't think your parents should be embarrassed if their portion of the wedding is less expensive or doesn't seem as fancy. They put their hearts into it and its about more than just what they paid. Anyone with sense would know this and I would side eye anyone who goes around comparing the two. They would be money-hungry jerks in that case. Different strokes for different folks. Its not about how expensive something looks. 

    Feed your guests, and enjoy yourself. In the end you won't remember who paid what and neither will anyone else. Don't get hung up on the small stuff. 
    ~* Matron of Honor *~

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  • As a guest at both events, I would probably appreciate a change of scenery, so to speak, from the RD to the wedding.  Don't worry.....enjoy both!
  • These two events are compounded, not competing. People will remember the whole of your wedding, not just the reception. Don't turn down an opportunity to treat your guests well because you're a little jealous.

    Most people don't remember the rehearsal dinner... Oh wait, I remember my MOH's rehearsal dinner because the food and wine were incredible and the chocolate dessert had olive oil and sea salt garnishes. Oh god, now I'm getting excited...

    I don't know how my MOH's RD compared to the reception because it would be weird to compare them. One was a giant party (I do know the food was good) and the other was a sit down dinner with only 20 people and not 200. You can't compare them.







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