Wedding Etiquette Forum


Hi all,

I am having a rather untraditional wedding and as such have no wedding party.  We of course would like friends and family to make toasts, but I don't know if its okay to ask them or not.  Or could it be a request with the understanding that if they are not comfortable with it, they don't have to?

Please keep in mind, I am trying to follow the rules of wedding etiquette, but at the same time want to feel the love with some toasts.

Re: Toasts

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    It's not appropriate to ask people to make toasts to you. If people want to, they offer them. 

    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    I'm assuming some of the people you may want to make toasts are parents. You can tell them you are planning out the details of the reception and wanted to know if would like to make a toast so that you can make sure the DJ doesn't forget to leave time for it. OK, I know not best wording, but I'm sure you get the idea.
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    Yeah it's never really appropriate to ask someone to make a toast, even your BP members.  I agree with Erika that you could probably mention to VIPs "Hey should be allot any time for toasts in the schedule?" and see if anyone volunteers.  Otherwise maybe let the DJ know that if someone wants to make an impromptu one that it's okay with you.
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    itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment

    We didn't want to have an "open mic" situation, so we did schedule toasts and have a list of "approved" speakers for our DoC (shame on me, I know).

    I simply emailed some of our VIPs and said if anyone had planned to say a few words to let us know.

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    We don't have a Best Man or Maid of Honor, but people have mentioned giving toasts over the past few months so I sent out an email last week (to the wedding party and parents) asking if anyone was interested so we could tell our DJ. I also noted that if we weren't made aware of requests prior to the wedding I couldn't promise a microphone assisted impromptu speech.

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