Need help coordinating.

kelsa82

I need help. I just got engaged about 3 weeks ago. We haven't set a date. But even before our engagement my hubby to be said that he'd like himself and the guys to wear a white  camo vest. I thought he was joking. But now that we're engaged it's still a topic. Even two of his friends are insisting that they'd want the vest. I personally don't like it for a wedding. I tried everything to get out of it. So my sister in law suggested that my hubby to be, should only wear the vest himself while the others wear white. Now I know I can go with the colors to match the vest which is brown,green, and orange. I'm not crazy for those colors. I'd rather have purple and blue. Only thing I'm thinking off is maybe using the colors of the peacock since it has similar colors plus the colors I like. Can someone please help me? I've included pictures to show what I'm talking about.

SBmini

I think you need to stand your ground. I don't see that working together at all. Maybe agree to do a camo themed engagement photo shoot or have a camo themed grooms cake. How about camo themed socks for the gentlemen instead of vests? 

Maggie0829

I know that the groom should decide his own attire since he really has no say in what you are wearing, but I truly believe there is a time and a place for camo and a wedding is not one of those places.

As SBmini mentioned, you could do camo socks or surprise your FI with a camo inspired grooms cake to bring his likes into the wedding but away from the attire.

manateehugger

Yeah, this is one of those times where I think an idea is so out there that you get to have a veto in the groom's attire. I fear between camo and peacocks, your wedding might end up all over the place.

Why does he want this vest so much? I like the idea of camo touches instead - especially for photographs. I think even a compromise on a camo bow tie would be much better than a vest.

kelsa82

I agree with everyone. To me I don't like camo at all. Even if he wears a jacket, I hate it lol. I don't know why he's wanting it so bad. I keep thinking he's just pulling my leg, and that when we actually sit down and plan he's going to be like I'm just kidding. For him he keeps saying that he wants something that's going to stand out, not like the traditional colors and vests that everyone uses. I want him to have what he wants to, I even offered to do red and gold after the SF 49ers, and I'm not even a 49ers fan, he didn't even agree to that. Only thing I keep reminding him, is that I'm giving up getting married on the beach because that's what I was going to do with my ex-fiancee. Only advantage I have is that we wont get married anytime soon.

artbyallie

Don't keep bringing up your ex-fiancé, please. I can't imagine your current one appreciates that. And camo + peacock would make me think the boys were about to pull out guns and hunt the girls. Cringe. How about you let him veto peacock if he lets you veto camo, and you start fresh with new ideas. Or stop trying to plan at all, depending on when you'll be getting married. If it's more than a year out, you don't need to be choosing anything right now.

kelsa82

He's actually ok with the idea I came up with if it works. He says let him have this one thing, and I can have everything else. And it's true we aren't getting married soon, but I guess it's the planner in me, especially for something that's important. I'd like to work out all the small things out first, and move onto the bigger picture. 

SBmini

Oh, there's a previous fiance involved? It sounds like that is making this all a big ball of joy. Move on from the colors. You have a lot more important things to decide first. Like venue, caterer, dj, photographer, florist, menu, bridal party, honeymoon location. Pretty much anything else. Linen color and bridesmaid dresses are things you don't need to settle on until 4-6 months before the wedding. This is not your time to die on your cross. Tire him out with chicken vs fish and indoor vs outdoor reception for the next six months then talk attire. 

But two more things:

Deer camo dress socks: http://www.thegiantpeach.com/stance-deer-hunter-mens-socks-camo/?gclid=CKqH5NafobgCFWlp7AodfxMAXg

And this is what I think of when I think camo with peacock

kelsa82

Yes, about two years ago I was engaged, and he was also engaged few years back as well. Then in August of last year when we both were single, it was our second chance at a relationship. He knew off the bat we would be together, I wasn't so sure he'd be the one right off the bat, but through this past 11 months he was there for me when my dad's illness and passing took our lives, and I knew he for sure was my rock. Plus it helps that we've known each other since we were 13 years old. But you are right these things can wait, I guess it's just me trying to finally have control over something after the year I had with my dad's illness.

QueerFemme

Honestly, these things really can wait.  But, if this is going to be a sticking point for you, I'd rather deal with it now.   there is no way I'd marry someone who wanted to show up in a camo vest, no matter how much I loved them.  I'm not even kidding.  I would be horrified and embarrassed during the whole wedding.

On another note, if you do give in to this tacky camo plan of his, I would skip the purple and peacock.  you will need to likely go with oranges and browns or it will look like you are at two different weddings.

kelsa82

That's why I'm trying to get over it now don't want to deal with it, and I really don't want orange or browns as my colors. I swear this boy is going to stress me out lol

Dincognito

In this case I would drop the tuxedos altogether to get vests completely out of the picture. Add camouflage cuff links if he must. I'm not sure you'll find camouflage dress socks as suggested above, but that's certainly another way out. 

kelsa82

Keep the ideas coming lol I surely can use it lol

QueerFemme

Liatris2010 said:

I'd nix the tux entirely. Unless you are having a very fancy, formal wedding, tuxes are really unnecessary. Suits are appropriate for weddings. Talk up how sexy suits are. When you watch TV, every time there is a man a suit, tell FI how sexy it looks. Tell him how excited you are to see him looking all sexy in suit. Give this man a hard-on for appropriate formal wear. Then, 6 or so months from now, when it is time to worry about attire, a suit might sound appealing to him. It might sound really appealing.

I love this.!!!!   I also hate that you have to TALK a grown ass person into dressing appropriately for the event.. but, that's another story.

frommithtoteal

Even though it is his wedding too, I highly doubt that he pinned a napkin to his head, wore his mother's shoes, and walked down the hallway to marry his teddy bear because he was so excited about his real wedding one day. I'm not saying to completly thow his ideas out the window, just be honest with him and tell him the vest isn't working with any other plans that you like. Tell him your colors and ideas and ask him to work with you because the vest isn't what you want.

kelsa82

So today my maid of honor and I did some leg wok. I found one place that can bring in that vest for free and we can have dresses lined up to the vest so he can physically see what's not working and what is.

Barbiiieee

Honestly, I wouldn't go through the trouble of showing him. My FI has HORRIFIC taste, so I feel like you can take my advice on this.

We got engaged last summer and he initially had some horrible ideas. I'm not kidding. Ideas like, him and GM wearing chainmail. Yes, freakin' chainmail. His metal band playing our reception. Denim vests and leather pants.  Him wearing some kind of vampire costume. I explained to him this would all be humiliating to me, and the bad ideas just kept rolling in. We had a year and half to go at that point, so I let it go. We also had a cross country move staring us in the face. We took care of what we needed to do, got settled in, and picked up planning a few months ago, and guess what? He forgot all about that stupid crap. 

Its like now he knows it is really coming up, and he is offering up realistic, thoughtful suggestions. 

Tell him you think it is a bad idea and then drop it until about six months before the wedding.

kelsa82

I'm try show him suit and keep talking to him. I'm really thinking in dropping my color ideas, just giving him his vest for him and him only and then just maybe do the colors black, white and gray. But then we do our co-Ed shower I'm tell him he had to have my color scheme ideas since I used his vest .

Carida84

We are looking at doing the camo theme but also he is a hunter and I come from a long line of hunters.. My brothers are even wanting to be carrying their shotguns.

But if your totally against it you really need to sit down and talk to him.. I'm not totally for it but its his wedding also (2nd for both of us) so we are coming to agreements at to what can and can not be camo (I will NOT be walking down the isle in a camo dress)