Wording on Invitations for Showers and Vow Renewal/Wedding Ceremony Under God's Presence

QueerFemme

sjhelmus said:

Yep! Those are all the things I want. You caught me! Good job! Also I noticed you bolded "YOU GOT MARRIED. I'm fully aware thank you. I'm doing what I'm doing, whether it's etiquette or not. Etiquette doesn't mean that's how it's required to be done...those are the rules society makes. My requests are not rude, but you are. It's a shame you all can't be nice and just answer a simple question rather than attacking me in the same response and the rest after. If you were in my shoes, I don't think you would be acting this way. I'll find my answer elsewhere and I certainly won't promote this site.

Actually, I capitalized GOT MARRIED, not bolded.   Thank you for not promoting this site.  Personally, the less people we have around here promoting really rude ideas, the better. 

You still haven't acknowledged that I did, in fact, answer your question. And gave you wording advice for a vow renewal invitation. 

Good luck finding someone to co-sign this shitstorm.  Head over to weddingbee and tell them how the meanie knotties were so horrid to you.  They've heard it all before, and they will embrace you with open arms. 

manateehugger

sjhelmus said:

Yep! Those are all the things I want. You caught me! Good job! Also I noticed you bolded "YOU GOT MARRIED. I'm fully aware thank you. I'm doing what I'm doing, whether it's etiquette or not. Etiquette doesn't mean that's how it's required to be done...those are the rules society makes. My requests are not rude, but you are. It's a shame you all can't be nice and just answer a simple question rather than attacking me in the same response and the rest after. If you were in my shoes, I don't think you would be acting this way. I'll find my answer elsewhere and I certainly won't promote this site.

Oh sweetheart. You're right, I don't know all the details of your life. But I can tell you that I know exactly what it's like to be a poor student dealing with your loved one being deployed. And I know what it's like to see all those military spouse benefits dangling in front of you. And I know what it's like to think a commitment before God is important. But you're an adult now, and you have to live with the choices you make. 

We aren't trying to be mean; we're trying to tell you how your actions look - which is that you want a bunch of attention and gifts from your family and friends. 

sjhelmus

I did say it's a renewal. Many times. Thanks. Look at my title in the first place. Also, I did say that you, QueerFemme answered my question, but also attacked me in your response, which was completely uncalled for. And yes, I'm sure that MANY others would help me and be kind and understanding of my situation. Also, my situation isn't other military situations. Each relationship is like a fingerprint: there are none like it. So, please, keep comparing to your other military couples that are not everyone military couple in the world. 

And I love open arms, you know? That's NICE! I would much rather leave this wedding nazi site that bases life and rules on their own opinions than continue any further.

sjhelmus

That's not what it is at all, but thank you for being much kinder than the rest.

PrettyGirlLost

sjhelmus said:

I did say it's a renewal. Many times. Thanks. Look at my title in the first place. Also, I did say that you, QueerFemme answered my question, but also attacked me in your response, which was completely uncalled for. And yes, I'm sure that MANY others would help me and be kind and understanding of my situation. Also, my situation isn't other military situations. Each relationship is like a fingerprint: there are none like it. So, please, keep comparing to your other military couples that are not everyone military couple in the world. 

And I love open arms, you know? That's NICE! I would much rather leave this wedding nazi site that bases life and rules on their own opinions than continue any further.

What exactly is it that makes your military situation so unique, then?

manateehugger

sjhelmus said:

That's not what it is at all, but thank you for being much kinder than the rest.

Then I really don't understand what it is. 

QueerFemme

sjhelmus said:

I did say it's a renewal. Many times. Thanks. Look at my title in the first place. Also, I did say that you, QueerFemme answered my question, but also attacked me in your response, which was completely uncalled for. And yes, I'm sure that MANY others would help me and be kind and understanding of my situation. Also, my situation isn't other military situations. Each relationship is like a fingerprint: there are none like it. So, please, keep comparing to your other military couples that are not everyone military couple in the world. 

And I love open arms, you know? That's NICE! I would much rather leave this wedding nazi site that bases life and rules on their own opinions than continue any further.

It doesn't matter that your relationship is different. The fact that you are married remains the same as any other married couple.  Your circumstances or reasons for getting married may be different, but the marriage is no different.  That's the part you are missing.

Again, if you want to host a fake pretty princess day, you are certainly welcome to do so.  A lot of people do it. And they will get side-eyed by someone on their guest list, whether they say it to your face or not.  People here will not give you advice on how to be rude to your guests, no matter how hard you try to get that advice.

Good luck with that though.

misshart00

So who was mean to you? And what did they say?

AddieCake

Why do people who start out cranky expect people to be nice in return?

smalfrie19

QueerFemme said:

sjhelmus said:

And it's not the paper that actually matters and it's not the wedding that actually matters. It's the vows and the commitment between the two of you and God, so however we decide to go about this is perfectly fine. There are no "rules" to what I can or cannot have, it's only tradition, society, and people's close-minded opinions that get in the way.

if the paper didn't matter, you wouldn't have done it.

exactly. if the paper and the benefits and everything you get with being a military wife didn't matter...why didn't you wait for him to come home from deployment? 

thejucheidea

sjhelmus said:

And I love open arms, you know? That's NICE! I would much rather leave this wedding nazi site that bases life and rules on their own opinions than continue any further.

godwin

GODWINNNNNNNN

TKzilla

Honestly, if your guests (all of them) know that you are already married, then I don't care if you celebrate with a big poofy gown and all that crap. 

We prefer that you don't refer to your big ceremony as a "real wedding" because
(A) it makes it sound as if you are putting down the people who chose to have a courthouse wedding as their "real wedding", and that's not right, and

(B) it mocks those who would do anything to have a courthouse wedding and have their marriage recognized by the government

That is part of why a lot of women here are against the PPD (pretty princess day). If you call it a vow renewal and NOT a wedding, then it wouldn't be such a big deal.

Etiquette is not just a bunch of random opinions from random people. Etiquette is a set of social rules that help a host or hostess treat guests properly. You want to be known for having good etiquette, trust me!

The more you try to defend yourself, the worse your experience will be on TK. Honestly, the women who have posted on this thread are trying to help you have a wonderful day without stepping on anyone's toes. I'm sorry that you didn't appreciate what the said or how they said it, but we don't sugarcoat things here. 

I'm hoping that by explaining all this to you, eventually you will come to understand OUR side of the story. I do not believe I will stop you from doing whatever it is you want to do. I can only give you the advice that you do not refer to your upcoming ceremony as a "wedding". Call it a vow renewal only, because that's what it is. The vows are the most important part anyway, right? Put the emphasis on them. Happy planning!