MOH stealing my thunder?

hockeywife10

My own mother planned her wedding the month after mine. I know my mom, and I know that it wasn't to "steal my thunder." I just got upset, because some of my family is only making the trip for hers. What can you do though, not a thing. You just suck it up and move on.

SoontobeMrsNytes

When my ex-husband and I got engaged we had been dating signifantly less than his older sister. We set our date almost right away. She got engaged a few months after we did, and after we had already set our date. I found out later she put a lot of pressure on her now-husband to get engaged after we did. Then, intentionally planned her wedding for only 6 weeks before ours because she just *had* to be married first. I had already asked her to be in our wedding and she asked me to be in hers. I was kind of bothered at first because I felt like she was trying to steal my thunder. I was also concerned about OOT family and friends being abvle to travel so close together. Everyone did and no one complained. In the end, I felt bad for her because all anyone could talk about at her wedding was my upcoming wedding.

I agree with the PP that said Be upset, then get over it. It will all be fine in the end.

ExpectingIn2011

A lot of helpful comments... I guess more than anything I just needed to let off some steam.

As far as the MOH "duties", I don't expect her to plan my wedding for me at all. I'm more bummed at the fact that I'm going to have trouble giving her the bachelorette party, shower, etc. I'd like to.

And as far as people saying that I'm negative and immature, I think that in the situation that I was put in, I had a right to be disgruntled at first. I took my question to a message board and not to the family, so that it wouldn't get back to my MOH. I'm not trying to cause a feud here, I just wanted an opinion of what others had done in my situation.

Thank you for all of the feedback! Now, I'm going to go pout. KIDDING.

I'm going to attempt to make light of this situation and have fun, as suggested!

NYCBruin

ExpectingIn2011 said:

A lot of helpful comments... I guess more than anything I just needed to let off some steam.

As far as the MOH "duties", I don't expect her to plan my wedding for me at all. I'm more bummed at the fact that I'm going to have trouble giving her the bachelorette party, shower, etc. I'd like to.

And as far as people saying that I'm negative and immature, I think that in the situation that I was put in, I had a right to be disgruntled at first. I took my question to a message board and not to the family, so that it wouldn't get back to my MOH. I'm not trying to cause a feud here, I just wanted an opinion of what others had done in my situation.

Thank you for all of the feedback! Now, I'm going to go pout. KIDDING.

I'm going to attempt to make light of this situation and have fun, as suggested!

Venting is necessary sometimes! It sounds like you have the right attitude. I'm sure both of your weddings will be awesome and you'll have a great time at both.

TheBaysideBride

It's frustrating - my brother planned his wedidng for 6 weeks before ours, and I was a little taken aback, but honestly, it really didn't matter. His wedding was 3 weeks ago, mine is in 3 weeks, and plenty of people are coming to bohter (even though both are pains in the butt to travel to). And his FI had great parties/showers, etc, and so did I. It really just made an excitign time even more awesome. You will have your best friend to plan with -- if you make yourself start thinking positively, I promise you will enjoy this!!

aurianna

ExpectingIn2011 said:

A lot of helpful comments... I guess more than anything I just needed to let off some steam.

As far as the MOH "duties", I don't expect her to plan my wedding for me at all. I'm more bummed at the fact that I'm going to have trouble giving her the bachelorette party, shower, etc. I'd like to.

And as far as people saying that I'm negative and immature, I think that in the situation that I was put in, I had a right to be disgruntled at first. I took my question to a message board and not to the family, so that it wouldn't get back to my MOH. I'm not trying to cause a feud here, I just wanted an opinion of what others had done in my situation.

Thank you for all of the feedback! Now, I'm going to go pout. KIDDING.

I'm going to attempt to make light of this situation and have fun, as suggested!

That's sweet of you to worry about the parties you'd want to throw her. They can totally still happen; you''ll just need to be more creative about budget and timing.

You're developing a good attitude here. Keep it up and things will definitely work out.

aurianna

dp

allispain

KCLindgren said:

ExpectingIn2011 said:

I have been dating my fiancé for five years and we have a child together. On September 3, 2012, he finally popped the question! I immediately asked his sister, my best friend, to be my maid of honor. We are planning a end of summer/ early fall 2014 wedding.

Last weekend, she and her boyfriend of four months got engaged. I'm very happy for them but now she wants to have her wedding in June of 2014. She has asked me to be her maid of honor and, in the moment, I said yes.

Now, I'm starting to feel like she's trying to "steal my thunder." She's planning her wedding right before mine and I don't feel like either of us are going to be able to enjoy our duties as MOHs. Not only that but her family (my fiancé's) are all from out of town and I don't know if they will have the time or money to travel for two weddings in two months. I just feel like I'm getting shafted by her and I'm not sure how to handle it. I'm stressed and upset that my wedding isn't about me anymore. Everyone keeps making jokes about having "dual" showers, "dual" bachelorette parties and even "dual" weddings! I don't find them funny and it really hurts my feelings! HELP!!

MOHs don't have any "duties".

You get one wedding day, and she gets one wedding day. Neither of you own the summer of 2014.

FWIW, I had two of my closest friends get married within one-two months of DH & I. It was such a non-issue.

RE: "neither of you have 'duties'". I respectfully disagree. Planning a wedding can be very stressful and having someone who can give advice, help with planning, and possibly even help with crafting if you're a DIY bride, is so nice! It's difficult to really be there to help the other person if you're busy planning your own big day.

I'd just like to say, one of my BMs is getting married this Saturday - a month after I got married. We have helped each other out so much during the wedding planning process - crafting together, bouncing ideas off of each other, comparing vendor quotes to make sure we weren't overpaying, etc. It was absolutely awesome to go through the process start to finish with someone else on the same time-frame, especially one of my closest friends.

OP - I get why you're upset. I would probably want to vent anonymously on the internet myself. But in the long run, a couple months' difference between the wedding dates shouldn't have a huge impact on your day.

kipnus

My sister and I got married 50 days apart (and were each other's MOH). Not all of our relatives were able to attend both weddings, but we still got to enjoy spending time with them at each other's weddings, and they were able to meet our husbands/fiances. 

Pepper6

I get having a knee-jerk reaction to something like that, but I think you'll find if you think about it, you'll get over it real quick.  Like PPs mentioned, it can actually be a good thing to plan a wedding with someone in the same time frame.  Besides, 3 months may seem close when you first hear it, but as far as weddings go, that's actually pretty significant.  

ExpectingIn2011

I appreciate the continued feedback!