Wedding Reception Forum

Is there a nice way to ask people to NOT wear jeans to the wedding.

I was told it is rude to put formal attire in with the invitation.
We want people to come dressed nicely. Like dress shirt, and slacks. Nice dresses
We most certainly dont want it to seem like we want them in tuxes and ballgowns
We just want it a little dressy. We went to a few weddings over the past year and one big trend is a big group of FH(that means future husband right?) show up in jeans and flannel shirts. We dont care if his uncle does cause hes older its his style we get it. But all the cousins. We dont want to see jeans. :(
Now I dont know if this is rude. Its not like I will kick anyone out if they dont dress a certain way. We will just deal with it. But is it OKAY to put "Formal attire requested" on the invites?
Or is it rude?

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Re: Is there a nice way to ask people to NOT wear jeans to the wedding.

  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    pixie3208 said:
    I was told it is rude to put formal attire in with the invitation.
    We want people to come dressed nicely. Like dress shirt, and slacks. Nice dresses
    We most certainly dont want it to seem like we want them in tuxes and ballgowns
    We just want it a little dressy. We went to a few weddings over the past year and one big trend is a big group of FH(that means future husband right?) show up in jeans and flannel shirts. We dont care if his uncle does cause hes older its his style we get it. But all the cousins. We dont want to see jeans. :(
    Now I dont know if this is rude. Its not like I will kick anyone out if they dont dress a certain way. We will just deal with it. But is it OKAY to put "Formal attire requested" on the invites?
    Or is it rude?

    Sorry, it's really rude to tell your guests how to dress.

    Try to be appreciative that they're coming out to celebrate your marriage with you...and not be judgemental about what they wear.


     

    RedJacks25
  • Alrighty I just wont sweat it then. Thanks

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    CLoGreenEyes
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Yes, it's rude to tell people how to dress. What people wear will not affect your wedding day at all. Here is a pic of 2 of my guests, in jeans, worshiping me at my wedding. How awful for me. 


    image

    Here I am with one of them later that day. Worst day of my life. 


    image
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    hockeywife10CLoGreenEyessouthernbelle0915maryemoo
  • Ha nice addie. I just figured since there were all sorts of ways to ask people to come to a wedding wearing jeans then there was a way to ask for that not to happen.
    But I dig it. I guess I wouldnt want anyone telling me how to dress either.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Yeah, it really is a non-issue, trust me. I personally wouldn't wear jeans to a wedding, but I promise you will not even notice if someone does. And it really has no effect on the day whatsoever. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • We had a pretty casual, outdoor, park style wedding.  I think maybe 3 people showed up in jeans.  And I honestly didn't give 2 shits.  As long as they aren't in (a) a wedding gown, or (b) booty shorts, I promise, you won't care what they are wearing.
  • As a guest, I admit I tend to notice if people are wearing jeans, or a white dress, or are dressed like a hooker. As a bride? I didn't notice what a single person was wearing, and I am a judgy bitch who usually notices EVERYTHING. 

    In my experience, those who would wear jeans to a wedding, will ALWAYS wear jeans to a wedding, unless they have a mother who nags them to death to go change. So no wording is going to help that. 
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    NuttyAlmondmonkeysip
  • I will likely have to come to terms with this as well, so I understand where you're coming from.

    Is it a rude, controlling thing to want? Yes. Can you help it? Maybe not right now. But come the day of the wedding, you won't give a crap. The type of people who will wear jeans to a wedding or a funeral will continue to do so, probably ones with more holes if you ask them not to. So just grin and bear it. Maybe if you can subtly put a word in Gma's ear about it she'll whip wayward family members into shape? I know that's how my family works. If you want something done right, ask Gma ^^
  • Haha thanks guys
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  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    No, it is not rude.  You could put that phrase on the invitations and you could also ask your FI to talk to the family members you are thinking of.  Jeans at a formal wedding is just inappropriate and disrespectful. 
    image
  • doeydo said:
    No, it is not rude.  You could put that phrase on the invitations and you could also ask your FI to talk to the family members you are thinking of.  Jeans at a formal wedding is just inappropriate and disrespectful. 
    Bad advice. Good advice is above this post.
    image
    [Deleted User]sonthirathb
  • You don't tell them. Based on the fanciness of your invitation they should be able to figure it out.

  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    doeydo said:
    No, it is not rude.  You could put that phrase on the invitations and you could also ask your FI to talk to the family members you are thinking of.  Jeans at a formal wedding is just inappropriate and disrespectful. 
    Would you please stop giving out bad advice?  Pretty please with a cherry on top?



    maryemoo
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    doeydo said:
    No, it is not rude.  You could put that phrase on the invitations and you could also ask your FI to talk to the family members you are thinking of.  Jeans at a formal wedding is just inappropriate and disrespectful. 
    image
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • "Formal attire" means ball gowns and tuxedos. I assume you're looking for semi-formal or cocktail attire. 

    Etiquette says you don't print that type of thing on the invitation. You can, however, add this information (along with all kinds of other information) to the wedding website. I'm attending a wedding this weekend where the wedding guests are coming from literally all over the world for the wedding; the invite contained an insert that had a variety of information--transportation to the wedding from the city, that they'll be a brunch at the hotel the morning after the wedding, and also that he wedding will be outside and it's likely to be sunny (helpful for sure!) and I forget exactly how it was worded, but it stated that you should wear your "elegant summer finest" or something like that, just in there with the rest of the info. Personally, I wasn't offended at all that her invitation contained an info card, and the info card indicated the formality of the wedding. However, it may have seemed odd if the guests were all local, for example. 
  • I would not put in your invite. If someone were to wear jeans to a wedding they are perfectly aware someone people will side eye that and are ok with it.  As long as it is not someone in your wedding party, a server or something like that.  You wont even care or notice on the day of.
  • I didnt even know anyone was still responding to this. I have decided not to include it on my invites. As others have said I am going to be so busy I am not going to care anyways. We are having a 300 person wedding. So like 5 people in jeans? Who cares! My mother kind of yelled at me to and said if that is how people are comfortable then leave them alone. As long as they are happy and having a good time what does it matter.
    Thanks guys for all the GOOD advice haha
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