Cocktail hour and reception, same venue?

mickimous14

We are having our reception on a golf course at a resort in our area. I would love to have the cocktail hour in the atrium and on the terrace of the resort...it is the perfect "space" for a cocktail hour, if that makes any sense. But I am concerned that it may be complicated/less convenient for our guests to have them in different places...they aren't too far away from each other, but would it/could it be easier to have the cocktail hour on the golf course and then have the 'reception' begin once we (and the bridal party) arrive? Opinions, please!

Viczaesar

I don't understand the question.

QueerFemme

mickimous14 said:

We are having our reception on a golf course at a resort in our area (absolutely gorgeous location - have wanted to have my wedding there since I was a little girl ). I would love to have the cocktail hour in the atrium and on the terrace of the resort...it is the perfect "space" for a cocktail hour, if that makes any sense. But I am concerned that it may be complicated/less convenient for our guests to have them in different places...they aren't too far away from each other, but would it/could it be easier to have the cocktail hour on the golf course and then have the 'reception' begin once we (and the bridal party) arrive? Opinions, please!

So, you want to have the ceremony & cocktail hour in one spot, and the reception somewhere else?  

I wouldn't do that, mostly because people will have already started drinking, and then they have to drive to your reception.  not a good idea.

StephJean83

Are you saying that your cocktail hour and reception are at the same location but different rooms/locations? If so, that seems OK in my books and actually something FH have looked into for venues we look at. If you are saying what @QueerFemme thought of, ceremony/cocktail hour one location and reception elsewhere, that would be bad news bears. As she pointed out, you have people drinking at one location and than driving to a different location for dinner.

manateehugger

Different rooms/locations within easy and very short walking distance = ok.

Different rooms/locations requiring a car ride = not ok. 

AddieCake

These locations are on the same property, yes?

We had our ceremony on golf course as well. Guests had to take golf carts down to the waterfall and then back to the space where the cocktail hour/reception was held. It was not inconvenient at all. How far would the guests have to walk? Could you use golf carts to shuttle them?

marburger06

StageManager14 said:

Is there seating for everyone at the atrium/terrace?

Are you implying that there needs to be seating for everyone during cocktail hour?? I understand having some seating for the elderly/disabled/pregnant, but otherwise, no one sits during cocktail hour. I've never seen a cocktail hour with seating for everyone before, ever.

crunchymamaof2

We're doing something similar. Ceremony is outside on the golf course. Cocktail hour is in the gold room inside the club. Reception is in the banquet room right down the hall. If you're talking about something similar that's fine. I agree that if you need a car or a long walk between the cocktail and reception then that's not a good idea.

AddieCake

marburger06 said:

StageManager14 said:

Is there seating for everyone at the atrium/terrace?

Are you implying that there needs to be seating for everyone during cocktail hour?? I understand having some seating for the elderly/disabled/pregnant, but otherwise, no one sits during cocktail hour. I've never seen a cocktail hour with seating for everyone before, ever.

There were seats at my cocktail hour. They were the same seats people used for the reception. 

ETA: And yes, there SHOULD be seats. I would be pissed if I had to stand around making idle chitchat, balancing a drink and plate of appetizers for any length of time. 

marburger06

AddieL73 said:

marburger06 said:

StageManager14 said:

Is there seating for everyone at the atrium/terrace?

Are you implying that there needs to be seating for everyone during cocktail hour?? I understand having some seating for the elderly/disabled/pregnant, but otherwise, no one sits during cocktail hour. I've never seen a cocktail hour with seating for everyone before, ever.

There were seats at my cocktail hour. They were the same seats people used for the reception. 

ETA: And yes, there SHOULD be seats. I would be pissed if I had to stand around making idle chitchat, balancing a drink and plate of appetizers for any length of time. 

 

Well there should certainly be enough tall tables for everyone so you don't have to balance a drink and plate of appetizers, but the entire purpose of cocktail hour is making idle chitchat. I would be very weirded out if I was at a cocktail hour where everyone just got drinks and went to their own separate tables.

CharlieKay10

AddieL73 said:

marburger06 said:

StageManager14 said:

Is there seating for everyone at the atrium/terrace?

Are you implying that there needs to be seating for everyone during cocktail hour?? I understand having some seating for the elderly/disabled/pregnant, but otherwise, no one sits during cocktail hour. I've never seen a cocktail hour with seating for everyone before, ever.

There were seats at my cocktail hour. They were the same seats people used for the reception. 

ETA: And yes, there SHOULD be seats. I would be pissed if I had to stand around making idle chitchat, balancing a drink and plate of appetizers for any length of time. 

AGREED. Your outlined scenario has happened to me at too many weddings -- not only having to balance your drink and a plate of apps, but also holding onto your purse/clutch, sweater, etc. while standing in a crowded room of strangers making random conversations. There needs to be a place for the majority of your guests to sit. Benches, tables, chairs - anything. At the last wedding I went to, there was literally not one seat in the cocktail hour. Luckily a few guests brought in chairs from the ceremony for the bride's great-grandparents. Our group made-do by taking turns sitting on the radiator to give our feet a rest. A lot of people just took their drinks back to the ceremony/reception space and then got kicked out for being in there too early before all of the tables were set-up. 

annathy03

If the cocktail hour is where the ceremony is, the venue should be able to bring out some small tables and highboys, and place some of the ceremony chairs at the small tables. It encourages mingling, provides tables for those that want/need to sit, tables to avoid the balancing act, and the extra ceremony chairs are still there if everyone would happen to want to sit.

AddieCake

marburger06 said:

Well there should certainly be enough tall tables for everyone so you don't have to balance a drink and plate of appetizers, but the entire purpose of cocktail hour is making idle chitchat. I would be very weirded out if I was at a cocktail hour where everyone just got drinks and went to their own separate tables.

People can still mingle if they choose to, much like they do at the reception. It's not like anybody is forced to take a seat and stay there at any time. 

misshart00

It seems when there aren't enough chairs, it has the opposite of what the hosts want. Generally, they don't provide enough chairs to encourage mingling. The problem is that when there aren't enough chairs, people who get one don't move from it and no one mingles.

manateehugger

AddieL73 said:

marburger06 said:

Well there should certainly be enough tall tables for everyone so you don't have to balance a drink and plate of appetizers, but the entire purpose of cocktail hour is making idle chitchat. I would be very weirded out if I was at a cocktail hour where everyone just got drinks and went to their own separate tables.

People can still mingle if they choose to, much like they do at the reception. It's not like anybody is forced to take a seat and stay there at any time. 

Agreed - everyone needs to have the option of taking a seat, regardless of whether they would like one throughout the cocktail hour.

Our cocktail hour will be in a garden (weather permitting). There's tons of nice benches in the garden and patio furniture, but we are still bringing in extra chairs just so everyone has the option of a chair if they'd like one. You can be creative with your seating, just make sure there is enough.

southernbelle0915

marburger06 said:

StageManager14 said:

Is there seating for everyone at the atrium/terrace?

Are you implying that there needs to be seating for everyone during cocktail hour?? I understand having some seating for the elderly/disabled/pregnant, but otherwise, no one sits during cocktail hour. I've never seen a cocktail hour with seating for everyone before, ever.

I know what you're saying, but people need to have the option. There should be enough cocktail tables so they can set their drink/plate down, but there should ALSO be seating in case people want to take a load off. 

Whenever I've been to cocktail hour at weddings and other events, it's usually in the same or an adjacent place as the reception and people just off-load their stuff at their seats and then go mingle.

marburger06

StageManager14 said:

No, I'm not implying there should be seating, I'm flat out saying it. It doesn't have to be seats at a table, but everyone should have the option to sit. I have never once heard someone say "well, I wanted to mingle and visit, but there were just too many places to sit, so I couldn't."

Actually, if I were to arrange to have a seat for every single butt during my cocktial hour, there wouldn't be much open space for people to stand and talk. It would look really, really awkward. I get that *some* people might want to sit, and I'd say there's enough seating for maybe half my guests, but even when I've been at cocktail hours in the same room as the reception (so people could go sit at tables), nearly everyone gathers in the open space and stands. I just don't see the point in crowding my cocktail hour space with chairs that I have never seen more than a few people use.

manateehugger

marburger06 said:

StageManager14 said:

No, I'm not implying there should be seating, I'm flat out saying it. It doesn't have to be seats at a table, but everyone should have the option to sit. I have never once heard someone say "well, I wanted to mingle and visit, but there were just too many places to sit, so I couldn't."

Actually, if I were to arrange to have a seat for every single butt during my cocktial hour, there wouldn't be much open space for people to stand and talk. It would look really, really awkward. I get that *some* people might want to sit, and I'd say there's enough seating for maybe half my guests, but even when I've been at cocktail hours in the same room as the reception (so people could go sit at tables), nearly everyone gathers in the open space and stands. I just don't see the point in crowding my cocktail hour space with chairs that I have never seen more than a few people use.

I feel like I'll mingle the first 20-30 minutes of cocktail hour, but eventually we go sit. It's really hard to drink, eat, and talk at the same time while standing. Can you squeeze in chairs around the edges? Is there a patio/balcony?

keochan

If I was stuck having to stand throughout the cocktail hour because there weren't enough seats I'd be pretty pissed. We're arranging for both individual seats and benches to be set up to provide enough seating for all our guests

marburger06

Liatris2010 said:

So, every wedding I've ever been to has has seating for cocktail hour. Usually I get a few bites of food, sit down, mingle while I eat it, get up, get more food, and sit and mingle elsewhere while I eat that. If there are no seats, how do people hold their drink, plate, and eat? If my drink is in one had and a plate in the other, how do I get the food off of my plate and into my mouth? Do I have to try and balance a plate on my glass, or am I expected to eat like a dog?

No, you're expected to put your drink and food on one of the many high tables we are providing, like I said before.

I get that I'm apparently in the minority for this one, but oh well, it's too late to change it and I don't think my guests will have a problem, because like I said, I have no reason to expect based on past weddings with the same people that more than half of our guests will want to sit. It's going to be more like a cocktail 1/2 hour anyway - we're doing pics before, we just need time to flip the room from the ceremony to the reception set up.

Sorry to jack the OP's original thread.

KDM323

Our entire wedding is being held at one location.

There is a chapel for the ceremony, a smaller ballroom for the cocktail hour and then the large ballroom for the reception.

The layout of the room for cocktail hour has some higher cocktail tables in the center of the room...and then small regular height tables around the outside of the room.  There are also chairs, loveseats & benches around the perimeter as well as in the hall right outside the door & the outside patio.

People can 'mingle' in the room where the stations/pass apps will be and either sit at the lower tables, benches, loveseats...or stand around the higher cocktail tables...or they can go into the hallway/patio area during that time.

Talk to your venue.  There should be a way to lay out seating during the cocktail hour that enables people to 'mingle' and also allows for enough seating for everyone should they choose to have a seat.

marburger06

 

StageManager14 said:

Me too.  If my choices are go sit away from everyone else and be lonely or stand the whole time, I'm taking option C and leaving.

Ugh, I told myself I'd stop replying, but seriously, did you even read once you decided you disagreed with me? I never said that the seating was away from everyone else, just that there isn't enough for everyone to sit at the same time. I'm not even trying to claim anymore that this is 100% the right thing to do, but I'd at least like my words not to be misconstrued.

manateehugger

marburger06 said:

 

StageManager14 said:

Me too.  If my choices are go sit away from everyone else and be lonely or stand the whole time, I'm taking option C and leaving.

Ugh, I told myself I'd stop replying, but seriously, did you even read once you decided you disagreed with me? I never said that the seating was away from everyone else, just that there isn't enough for everyone to sit at the same time. I'm not even trying to claim anymore that this is 100% the right thing to do, but I'd at least like my words not to be misconstrued.

@Marburger06

Right, and we are saying that you should try to have a seat for every butt - not because we think everyone will collectively sit, but because we think you should do everything in your power to make sure your guests are as comfy as possible. Did you even read the suggestions multiple people gave you.

People aren't trying to rain on your parade; they're trying to help you be a gracious hostess.

marburger06

Ok, maybe this will help clarify:

http://www.hotelsaxchicago.com/meetings-and-events/floorplans-capacities

It's the second floor plan (4th floor event space). The ceremony/reception are in the Americas room (no divider, it's just a big room). The cocktail hour is outside of that room. There are high tables outside of where it says "bar" and in the rotunda. There is seating where it says "hub" and along the perimeter of the rotunda.

Liatris - People in chairs take up more room than people standing - the diameter of each "circle" around the high table would increase with chairs. In addition, if we put chairs in the area outside of the bar, it would block the exit to the elevators.

I hope you would join Stage if she wanted to sit. Like I said, I totally get that some people would like to/need, and I would hope that other guests would like to accompany them. But from my past experiences at weddings, there is just no chance that every single person will want to sit.

artbyallie

scribe95 said:

Cocktail hours aren't big here in Indiana. Only been to two - one in Walt Disney world and one here. The one in Disney had seats for about half. The one here had high top tables with no chairs. Only a few couches, which were immediately taken. I was so made standing in heels for a freaking hour. I still remember it.

Hey, marburger, put on your tallest heels and stand in one place for an hour. Come back and tell us how that felt.

QueerFemme

Standing up for an extended period of time sucks.  Even with high tables to lean on.   When there aren't enough chairs, the people that get the chairs plant their asses in them, and don't move.   So you think people are "mingling", but really, the only people walking around are the ones that didn't snatch a seat.

 

[Deleted User]

Ugh seriously, I had to stand during cocktail hour once AND there were no high tops. I didn't end up eating a thing because I didn't want to try and balance it on my nose like a puppy.

MrsMack10612

I'm a little late to this, but I had chairs for 1/2 my guests for cocktail hour as was recommended by the E board when I asked about it.  We had high/low top tables and chairs around each low table.

If E had told me then that I had to have a chair for every butt, I would have, but the general consensus was 1/2 was fine.

marburger06

 

artbyallie said:

Hey, marburger, put on your tallest heels and stand in one place for an hour. Come back and tell us how that felt.

But I have!!!! Honestly, that's why I'm so shocked - I literally have been in this situation countless times. Not just for weddings either - at work we have cocktail receptions at least every other week in our lobby, where we only have high tops, and those last even more than an hour. No one stands in one place though - you walk around and talk. Heck, even at friends' parties where there is plenty of seating, somehow everyone always ends up standing in the kitchen all packed together.

Really, I'm not saying your guys' concerns aren't valid, it's just that I'm shocked because this is such a common thing in my experience.

Lol @ Stage...I'm imagining a guest walking out of my ceremony, counting the number of seats, and then leaving in a huff. Funny.

keochan

I can't stand in heels for more than 10-15 minutes, I have a bad knee, which you wouldn't know looking at me. You can't judge your guests abilities based off of your own.

kkcaper14

Out of the maybe 10-15 weddings I've attended I've never been to a cocktail hour with seating for everyone.  I have sat for a few minutes at some due to unfortunately footwear choices and never had issues finding a seat.  Majority of cocktail hours I've attended had mainly passed appetizers so I've had no problems eating and holding a drink.  IMO as long as there is enough seating for older guests and others with issues standing and high tops I really don't see any issue.  I'm having a hard time picturing venues with 2 separate areas with enough seating for all attendees..