My dad is getting ready to walk down the aisle for the fifth time. My mom was his first wife, and none of his marriages have lasted more than 5 years. Two of my stepmothers treated my sisters and I horribly, one never really warmed up to us one way or the other, and this newest one won't even speak to us for some reason. She hasn't bothered to get to know us, won't respond when I try to talk to her, and apparently it all stemmed from her feeling disrespected that I didn't send her a seperate thank you card at Christmas 3 years ago, even though the gifts my family received were from both my dad and her on the tag - so I sent the thank you note to both of them. She didn't like that, according to my dad, and felt I disrespected her. Ever since then, she won't even acknowledge when I try to talk to her.
I don't even want to go to the wedding. In fact, I just got married in April and my dad didn't even attend my wedding. He claimed he couldn't get off work,although I know people he works with and they have put so many holes in his story that I wonder if dad's fiancee didn't have something to do with him not coming to the wedding. Anyway, since my future stepmom obviously hates me, should I skip the wedding so she can enjoy her day? If I go, what sort of gift do you give to someone who has been married 5 times?
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RSVP Deadline: March 8th
Re: What about a FIFTH wedding?
As for them not attending, it didn't really bother me. Things have been very strained between us since she came onto the scene and I know if they were there it would have been very awkward and tense and I honestly didn't want to deal with that on my wedding day. To be honest, I didn't miss him not being there and didn't think about him at all that day. To me, he walked out on me long ago, as he has a long history of choosing his women over his children anyway.
What is a good "generic" gift for an older couple who already live together? I've never been to a wedding where there was no registry and I really do stink at picking out gifts, especially since I don't know her at all and haven't been invited to their home since she moved in and they completely remodeled the place. I know my dad has no hobbies - he's a workaholic and has always been difficult to buy for. Whatever I give, I'll include a gift receipt just in case, but I don't want to have it look like I didn't put any thought into it at all - that will just give her one more thing to complain about.
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20 can't make it
RSVP Deadline: March 8th
How about a christmas ornament? The style / decor of them doesn't matter as much since they're seasonal so that might be good for an older couple who already has (or can buy) anything they need.
Lenox makes beautiful ornaments - wedding/bridal and others - and many of them can be personalized: http://www.lenox.com/ornaments?N=1460
Lots of other places sell yearly ornaments - this link is for the White House ornaments: http://www.whitehouseholidays.com/2013_Official_White_House_Ornament____i5690.aspx?gclid=CIP8qeiYwbgCFUkV7AodaHkApg
hth!
Just sending some "I hear you" thoughts. My dad's second wife did the "evil stepmom" thing and it sucked, plus it really harmed our relationship (she punished him if she found out he called me!!). Luckily, #3 is kinder and we were able to get to a better place, but it still angers me to think about the lost years....I'd blame her for taking him away, but he was an adult and he has to be responsible for it all too.
As for a gift....Maybe a teaset (http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?SKU=40897950) and a few boxes of teas? Or a nice throw blanket (http://www.wayfair.com/Blankets-and-Throws-C415002.html)? Or champagne flutes (http://www.target.com/p/riedel-vivant-champagne-flutes-set-of-4/-/A-10077709#prodSlot=medium_1_17)?
They probably don't need any trinkets or things. Give them a gift cert to a nice restaurant, to their favorite wine shop, or to a place they can use for their pastime (golf course, antique mall, craft shop).
Hopefully, my gift will be "enough" since last Christmas I was told that my $50 gift card to their favorite restaurant wasn't enough because it was for both of them. Apparently, I'm supposed to spend more money than my budget allowed. I am SO dreading this wedding.
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20 can't make it
RSVP Deadline: March 8th
We did go to the wedding. Our table was right in front of the dj so it pretty much shattered our eardrums and erased any hope of being able to talk to my sister and her family. The bride and groom greeted us at the door and she welcomed us with a hug and a "Thank you for coming. I know you hate me, but I'm glad you came for your dad's sake. It really means a lot to him." That's pretty much all we saw of her all night until we sought them out to say goodbye. It was an awkward night - only 2 tables of dad's family and the rest was all her family. Her family said the blessing before dinner. Her family made all the toasts. Her family sat at the head table (they did a courthouse marriage with supposedly nobody in attendance so I don't know how they picked who to sit at the head table with them.) I felt like an unwanted stepchild. The food wasn't that great and I was very happy when it was time to leave.
But.... I made my appearance and gave them money in a card and smiled and said the typical congratulatory things. Nothing she can pick apart or complain about. Glad it's over.
58 invited
20 can't make it
RSVP Deadline: March 8th
58 invited
20 can't make it
RSVP Deadline: March 8th