The worst thing you've ever seen/heard at a bridal shower

HisGirlFriday13

Up until this weekend, I would have said it was I was BM for a friend and at her bridal shower, her GRANDMOTHER said, "He's been getting the milk for free for so long I'm surprised he's bothering to buy the cow."

But no, I now have something to top that, I really do.

At my shower this weekend, FI's grandmother waited until we were all sitting around after opening presents to pass around a photo of him and his EX-GIRLFRIEND, saying as she did, 'She was such a nice girl. I liked her so much. I don't know what happened between them. But she was so nice. I always thought they'd get married.'

I was speechless, FI's relatives (this was the shower hosted by his family, including his grandmother) were uncomfortable, and my friends were spitting nails mad. 

So that was my weekend. How was everybody else's?

BMoreBride6

WTF!!!! Did you tell FI about this?  Did his mom say anything about it? 

Blue_Bird

Um, wow. Has she always been crazy, or has it just been since the wedding prep started. I have never heard of anything so insane. I'm sorry. I think that this will be a funny story you can tell for years to come though. I was feeling stressed about my crazy house guest, but you pretty much trumped that.

HisGirlFriday13

I told FI, who went through the roof and had to be calmed down before he ripped his grandmother a new asshole. His mom wasn't at the shower because she isn't in the picture -- not in his life, not coming to the wedding, we don't see her. 

ETA: @Blue_Bird: She's apparently always been tactless, but she's 86 and her memory/filter are slipping, so she's getting more outspoken and less socially correct.

She also had the nerve to say to FI, "I don't know why HisGirlFriday doesn't like me more. She seems very stand-offish." WELL, GEE, I WONDER WHY?!

NYCBruin

OMG that's insane!  I'm so sorry that happened to you!  What is wrong with people?!?!

[Deleted User]

Not sure if this counts, but I read a thread on another forum where the bridesmaids had purchased a cake from an expensive bakery for the bridal shower. The bride had wanted to use this bakery for the wedding cake but couldn't afford it, so the bridesmaids thought it would be a really heartfelt surprise to have this miniature replica made for the bridal shower.

A guest brought an uninvited toddler, and the child proceeded to run around unattended, grab the cake, and push it to the floor before the bride even got to see it. The mother of the child laughed it off, didn't offer any compensation, didn't reprimand the child, nothin'.

That one pretty much took the cake for me.

Lored

Ooh that's really bad. I'd be PISSED! Not wedding related really, but I went to a co-workers baby shower a couple of weeks ago and was horrified. They had a "college fund" jar for the baby displayed. A half hour into the shower, the niece (maybe 10 yo or so) comes around and asks everyone to contribute. So awkward. Honesty, I dont get it. These "fundraising" events can't generate that much money, can they? I don't understand how someone can purchase a home or fund a college education on a couple of bucks they get from a shower. All I can think is how fiscally irresponsible they must be. Ummm, just spend less and save like everyone else in the world??

Blue_Bird

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I told FI, who went through the roof and had to be calmed down before he ripped his grandmother a new asshole. His mom wasn't at the shower because she isn't in the picture -- not in his life, not coming to the wedding, we don't see her. 

ETA: @Blue_Bird: She's apparently always been tactless, but she's 86 and her memory/filter are slipping, so she's getting more outspoken and less socially correct.

She also had the nerve to say to FI, "I don't know why HisGirlFriday doesn't like me more. She seems very stand-offish." WELL, GEE, I WONDER WHY?!

Wow. This just sounds like a whole lotta crazy you're marring into (no offense intended). I'm glad your FI stood up for you, but honestly, I've seen DH blow up at his mom before (even when deserved), and it just makes me uncomfortable. I don't know how I would have handled that situation, but it looks like you handled it with grace.

Blue_Bird

UberClaire said:

Not sure if this counts, but I read a thread on another forum where the bridesmaids had purchased a cake from an expensive bakery for the bridal shower. The bride had wanted to use this bakery for the wedding cake but couldn't afford it, so the bridesmaids thought it would be a really heartfelt surprise to have this miniature replica made for the bridal shower.

A guest brought an uninvited toddler, and the child proceeded to run around unattended, grab the cake, and push it to the floor before the bride even got to see it. The mother of the child laughed it off, didn't offer any compensation, didn't reprimand the child, nothin'.

That one pretty much took the cake for me.

Sadly, that sounds like too many parents I know.

StephJean83

That's crazy! Sometimes its a blessing in disguise that FH dated a little bit prior to me but not much and didn't bring anyone around his family since high school until me.

The craziest thing I saw was a BM at a shower gave the bride a gift to open. The small card attached said "Congratulations Richard and Elizabeth" but nothing else. The bride was trying to figure out who it was from and the BM said Richard and Elizabeth. The bride and groom go by "Rick" and "Betsy" and apparently the BM didn't put two and two together that they go by nicknames.

Lored

Oops sorry I was so wrapped up in my own horror story, I forgot to address yours FI's relative sounds like an asshole Nd I would treat her as such.

NYCBruin

Lored said:

Ooh that's really bad. I'd be PISSED! Not wedding related really, but I went to a co-workers baby shower a couple of weeks ago and was horrified. They had a "college fund" jar for the baby displayed. A half hour into the shower, the niece (maybe 10 yo or so) comes around and asks everyone to contribute. So awkward. Honesty, I dont get it. These "fundraising" events can't generate that much money, can they? I don't understand how someone can purchase a home or fund a college education on a couple of bucks they get from a shower. All I can think is how fiscally irresponsible they must be. Ummm, just spend less and save like everyone else in the world??

I always think the same thing with all of these type of things (dollar dance, honeymoon jar, that awful who wears the cake crap, college fund, house fund), how much money are you really getting?  My guess is not enough to make up for offending your friends and family.  I'm not say it would be ok if the couple raised thousands of dollars this way, but it somehow feels worse that the couple is willing to be so rude for maybe a hundred or two hundred dollars.

misssunshine17

Seriously, Grandma sounds like a complete asshole. How wildly inappropriate. 

HisGirlFriday13

Blue_Bird said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I told FI, who went through the roof and had to be calmed down before he ripped his grandmother a new asshole. His mom wasn't at the shower because she isn't in the picture -- not in his life, not coming to the wedding, we don't see her. 

ETA: @Blue_Bird: She's apparently always been tactless, but she's 86 and her memory/filter are slipping, so she's getting more outspoken and less socially correct.

She also had the nerve to say to FI, "I don't know why HisGirlFriday doesn't like me more. She seems very stand-offish." WELL, GEE, I WONDER WHY?!

Wow. This just sounds like a whole lotta crazy you're marring into (no offense intended). I'm glad your FI stood up for you, but honestly, I've seen DH blow up at his mom before (even when deserved), and it just makes me uncomfortable. I don't know how I would have handled that situation, but it looks like you handled it with grace.

No offence taken! I'm not sure how FI turned out normal, but he did. He's the biological sport exception to his family. 

I wasn't in the room when FI hashed it out with Granny -- I refused to be. I don't like confrontation, and I knew if I were there, she'd start to cry and play the "I'm old, you're getting married and leaving me, pity me" card. As it was, apparently FI read her the riot act and closed with, "If you say ONE MORE THING about this wedding that upsets HisGirlFriday and makes her cry (because, sadly, this wasn't her first transgression) you will NOT be coming, IS THAT CLEAR?"

chelcya

I swear, 1 in 3 people these days have a mean and/or crazy grandma. Its an epidemic! Though I can't think of anything my grandma has done at a shower, there are so many instances of her being inappropriate, crass, mean spirited, etc. that no one talks to her. At work we refer to her as 'bad gramma' when I'm telling stories.

As for your new grandma, it's terrific that your fiancé is standing up for you. If she cares enough about keeping him in her life, she'll straighten up.

Bubbles2014

I would be livid!

Not at a shower, but last night at a family dinner my grandmother got drunk and, among other things, told us that we have to have sex on the wedding night. I told her I'm planning on smuggling out the leftover cake and going to town, then going to sleep. She was not impressed.

KeptInStitches

Oh I would have lost it. Probably publicly and probably in a very non-etiquette approved manner.

At a bridal shower, I gave the bride a set of Pyrex containers from her registry. Her comment was "I already have 3 of these at home." No thank you, no lip service to etiquette. It made me so sad because I thought so much better of her.

nwwoodsybride

I'm a bit worried about my own mean Grandma at my upcoming shower and wedding. I used to be way too thin and now I'm a healthier weight. She openly calls me fat at family get togethers. At my parent's wedding she told my mom she wasn't allowed to wear shoes because she was an inch taller than my dad. 

All these stories are horrible. Don't they get we just want to be with people we love and eat our darn cake?

PhoneCardLady

Years ago I was hosting a bridal shower for my gf - I was one of the BM's.  Since I had broke my toe a few days before, I couldn't wear my shoes so I bought some blue footies.  I had to sit down most of the time (which the other BM's and bride understood).

So it's time to to sever lunch.  I had to cut up a stick of butter into pats when the brides MIL came up behind me and asked, "Are your nails clean?  Are your hands clean?"

I was mortified... I discreetly looked down at my hands.   I had washed my hands prior to handling ANY food and my nails were clean, neat and trimmed without any nail polish (even clear) so nothing would accidentally flake off in the food.  I said nothing.

After the couple had cut the cake, I was asked to cut the rest into serving pieces.  Once again the MIL come up behind me, but this time I had a butcher knife in hand.  "Are your hands clean?"  CUT CUT CUT...  "Are your nails clean?" CUT CUT CUT...  Then she says, "I sound like a typical MIL!" I stopped cutting the cake, turned around and pointed the knife at her and said "YES!" 

She left me alone after that....

harper0813

A coworker had a baby last week and after it had happened, another coworker came up to me and asked me for $20 to chip in for the present she has forgotten to ask me to help with. It was quite expensive. I didn't even get to sign the card. I'm perfectly happy to chip in when I'm told about the gift before it's bought and given. Plus, the guys in the office all signed the card too, yet they weren't asked to chip in. Just the ladies.

I just handed it over but I was fuming.

ETA: The office shower that we were supposed to give it during was canceled because she went into labor a few days early. So that's how this story is shower-related.

KeptInStitches

jss0302 said:

KeptInStitches said:

Oh I would have lost it. Probably publicly and probably in a very non-etiquette approved manner.

At a bridal shower, I gave the bride a set of Pyrex containers from her registry. Her comment was "I already have 3 of these at home." No thank you, no lip service to etiquette. It made me so sad because I thought so much better of her.

I would have grabbed them, left, returned them, then spent the money I got back at the liquor store.

And I would have done that if I could have gotten my jaw off the floor fast enough.

ZeroOrchestra

At a shower a few weeks ago, the bride was forced to play this "game":

They made her lie down on the floor on her stomach and then covered her with a sheet. Then handed her an inflated balloon to put underneath herself. She was required to pop it by basically rotating around and gyrating up and down on it. Balloon humping, basically. And she had to do it 3 times.

I am so very happy that side of the family did not throw me a shower.

Ven&Radio

Harry87 said:

@UberClaire that story had me seeing red. You can bet that I would have been the person to scream in mom's face until she either left out of shame or locked herself in the bathroom. On that same page, when I was the flower girl in my aunt's wedding (age 5) the ring bearer was a little shit toddler who bit me and pinched my cheeks extremely hard. In pictures you can still see tears in my eyes and very deep red marks on my face, and my arm is ramrod straight because he was still trying to bite me. His mom thought it was adorable.

My 92 year-old great grandpa had seen this, and waited for the mother (a BM) to come back down the aisle after the recessional, and then tore into her about her brat child so severely that she cried in the church bathroom for an hour.

As for crazy grandma, yes, it does seem like everyone has one, doesn't it? One friend called her's "That nana" and another friend has dubbed her's "Evil Grand-mama". Thank goodness H's grandma is so old she can't be bothered to remember anyone from after 1999. I've introduced myself four times, and she's sweet as pie each time and made me wonderful gifts for my shower, but she doesn't know my face from Eve.

I totally call my mom's mom "evil grandma" behind her back.  I would trade her for FI's grandma in a second.

I have no shower nightmare stories.  However, this thread is making me very happy that I will not be having a shower.

RedJacks25

FI's mom often tells me how much she loved his ex-girlfriend, how absolutely gorgeous she was, how she just knew they were supposed to get married, and how she still doesn't understand why they didn't work out. But apparently she likes me. It's awkward.

AlexisA01

One of my great aunts is at this surprise bridal shower. She calls my fiance a China man when he is Japanese. Nobody corrects her until I say something to the lines, that is wasnt so nice and he is Japanese. She yells at a few of us and then tells me to my face that is why I never liked you... She has received a STD  for the wedding. I'm upset at her  and want  her to stay away.

 

kryan32

FI's mom (she passed away last year) used to talk about how nicely his ex-wife always treated her and how pretty she was. 

The first time she told me this, I was helping FI shampoo her carpets.  He turned to her and said "mom, you know that's not true - ex used to treat you terribly and you never liked her!"  Mom replied, "well, I'm getting older and my memory's not what it used to be."  I didn't say anything, but I was thinking WTF? 

Other times she told me that there was nothing wrong with me, she just didn't want FI to get married again.

And several times she questioned my ethnicity because FI used to date an Italian woman and she didn't want "any of them" marrying into the family...

FI says it was diabetes-induced dementia...

 

 

tammym1001

KeptInStitches said:

Oh I would have lost it. Probably publicly and probably in a very non-etiquette approved manner.

At a bridal shower, I gave the bride a set of Pyrex containers from her registry. Her comment was "I already have 3 of these at home." No thank you, no lip service to etiquette. It made me so sad because I thought so much better of her.

I have no filter so words just tumble from my brain out of my mouth and I probably would have said "well then why did you register for it?"

arrippa

tammym1001 said:

KeptInStitches said:

Oh I would have lost it. Probably publicly and probably in a very non-etiquette approved manner.

At a bridal shower, I gave the bride a set of Pyrex containers from her registry. Her comment was "I already have 3 of these at home." No thank you, no lip service to etiquette. It made me so sad because I thought so much better of her.

I have no filter so words just tumble from my brain out of my mouth and I probably would have said "well then why did you register for it?"

Also, can you have too many Pyrex containers? I bought a box of 10 of them and during the course of the year, I have given some away or lost them.

KeptInStitches

And I would drop a Pyrex container (hell, I HAVE dropped and broken Pyrex containers). Extras would be appreciated and would definitely go to good use.

lyndsay782

moemacWed30594 said:

tammym1001 said:

KeptInStitches said:

Oh I would have lost it. Probably publicly and probably in a very non-etiquette approved manner.

At a bridal shower, I gave the bride a set of Pyrex containers from her registry. Her comment was "I already have 3 of these at home." No thank you, no lip service to etiquette. It made me so sad because I thought so much better of her.

I have no filter so words just tumble from my brain out of my mouth and I probably would have said "well then why did you register for it?"

Also, can you have too many Pyrex containers? I bought a box of 10 of them and during the course of the year, I have given some away or lost them.

^^^^^ This.

I break those things all the time. I'm cursed or something.

Worst thing I've seen is the completely raunchy lingerie that a bride to be gets, that she would never wear, and is completely embarrassed to even own. 

I really just chimed in to mention my own crazy g-ma who told me I had caterpillar eyebrows and that she was amazed that someone of my size was able to find a date to prom... 

Considering I've gotten fluffier since HS, and my FI is way hotter than my prom date was... I can't imagine her shock that I'm getting married...  

16maybeless

I was at a bridal shower for my cousin. It was rather large (40 people?) and she opened all of her gifts, which were mostly from the couple's registry. When she got to a large box that she thought was the ceramic Le Creuset she wanted, she tore it open and lifted it out ..

.. and says, "This isn't the color I asked for."

And proceeded to cry.

My aunt ran to her and took the Le Creuset, and I thought she was going to yell at her, but all she said was, "Shhh, shhh, we can return it."

I was horrified.

But ... alas, she's been like this forever.