The worst thing you've ever seen/heard at a bridal shower

CharlieKay10

AlexisA01 said:

One of my great aunts is at this surprise bridal shower. She calls my fiance a China man when he is Japanese. Nobody corrects her until I say something to the lines, that is wasnt so nice and he is Japanese. She yells at a few of us and then tells me to my face that is why I never liked you... She has received an STD. Very awkward.

That is awful about your aunt. I would have definitely corrected her in a not-so-nice way. 

Also, does anyone else read "an STD" as in an actual STD (sexually transmitted disease) but if someone says "a STD" you read it as "a save the date"?

My bridal shower horror story happened when I got the bride something not on her registry. I got her a pair of handmade earrings that she always complimented me on when I wore them (that were also fairly expensive). She acted very gracious towards everyone else's gifts (which were, consequently, on the registry). When it came to mine, she gave an overly-fake smile and an "Ooh pretty!"  and threw the earrings back into the jewelry box. Later in the party, I overheard her talking with two of her BMs (loudly, so I could hear) about how "some people should just stick to the registry." I never got a thank you for those earrings, either.

RebeccaB88

Bride wrote down the time of the shower wrong and didn't show up until it was 3/4 over.  This was in the pre-cellphone days and she wasn't home to get our multiple phone calls. Her mom happened to be out with her doing wedding stuff before they came to the shower.

yellowrose314

Oooh I have a few I can think of...

At my shower, my grandmother on my dad's side, who I've never gotten along with, remarked loudly for everyone to hear that one of my BM, who has multiple facial piercings and tattoos, "had better cover up all that crap or people are going to think she's a Nazi". What in the WHAT?? BM in question, love her to death, straight up said "And why would they think that?" and dearest grandmother said "because you look like a creep! I won't have my granddaughter walking down the isle behind a creep." Grandmother was politely asked to leave immediately, and not to come to the wedding unless she apologized, which she did, albeit grudgingly.

At a friends shower, there was a honeymoon jar passed around. I put in a quarter... which was undoubtedly noticed by the MOB, who pulled me aside in the kitchen after and remarked about how it was upsetting to her that I could be so cheap for who was supposed to be a dear friend of mine. I told her unfortunately I wasn't aware I was supposed to bring cash to the shower and that's all I had in my wallet at the time, and then I bean dipped her.

Edit: I didn't put in the quarter to be snarky, that actually was all I had in my wallet... and a handful of pennies.

lovesclimbing

@yellowrose314  Well of course you were cheap!  You didn't put the handful of pennies in too.  How dare you!

/sarcasm.

kmmssg

yellowrose314 said:

Oooh I have a few I can think of...

At my shower, my grandmother on my dad's side, who I've never gotten along with, remarked loudly for everyone to hear that one of my BM, who has multiple facial piercings and tattoos, "had better cover up all that crap or people are going to think she's a Nazi". What in the WHAT?? BM in question, love her to death, straight up said "And why would they think that?" and dearest grandmother said "because you look like a creep! I won't have my granddaughter walking down the isle behind a creep." Grandmother was politely asked to leave immediately, and not to come to the wedding unless she apologized, which she did, albeit grudgingly.

At a friends shower, there was a honeymoon jar passed around. I put in a quarter... which was undoubtedly noticed by the MOB, who pulled me aside in the kitchen after and remarked about how it was upsetting to her that I could be so cheap for who was supposed to be a dear friend of mine. I told her unfortunately I wasn't aware I was supposed to bring cash to the shower and that's all I had in my wallet at the time, and then I bean dipped her.

Edit: I didn't put in the quarter to be snarky, that actually was all I had in my wallet... and a handful of pennies.

That is awesome Grandma was held accountable and not allowed to treat your BM like crap.  Way to go!

kerbohl

Some of these stories are very sad - I wish people would act a bit more maturely and be a little less judgmental.

I have a few older aunts that I would hope wouldn't say anything judgmental at my shower, but my one aunt (not at a shower) did essentially question my chastity because I was going on a camping trip and there were boys on the same campsite as me.  Yes, thank you dear aunt, because I have absolutely no willpower and can't keep my pants on just because there are boys in the near vicinity.  I would hope she won't make similar comments at my shower.     

kerbohl

@KeptinStitches You can never have too many Pyrex containers.  When that bride has broken/lost the other three she has at home, she'll be darn glad that you got her that shower gift! 

XrebeccaX

I went to my cousin's fiancee's shower (this is many years ago, I must have been in high school at the time) and she opened a very nice piece of crystal, a vase or bowl or something. Her first comment was "Oh - this isn't on my registry."

Giving the benefit of the doubt we'll just say she was surprised. She is just kind of "that way" - likes everything to go down by the book - but even in high school I thought it was a rude thing to say!

Sierra524

My story isnt too bad, but it was pretty embarassing.

One of my bridesmaids decided to wear a short grey dress and black high heels to my shower. I thought she looked really cute. I even encouraged her to wear the dress.

When she was up at the front of the room talking about games, a few people made an inappropriate comment to her. My mom, FMIL and my mom's boss all yelled out to her "who brought the stripper?!"

I felt sooo bad. I dont think she noticed because she didnt say anything to me. I told my mom that was really rude and she just replied with "well, dont come to a shower dressed like a stripper". She was shocked when I told her that I encouraged her to wear it because I thought it was so cute.

[Deleted User]

Wow, sorry if you're offended by this, but your mom AND fmil sound like totally out of control bitches.  I'd ask my mother to leave if she can't control herself. What an awful position to put you in, and what kind of grown woman speaks that way to one of her child's friends?

wrigleyville

I went to a friend's shower a while back. She's pretty self-conscious about her weight, so imagine my horror when her grandmother exclaimed, "Yeah, like THAT will fit her," every time she opened a pretty nightie.

My friend was near tears by the time the gift portion was over, and I felt so bad for her because she got a lot of lovely gifts and couldn't even enjoy them. Her hands were shaking after a while, and she could hardly open the last few items. I wish someone had shut grandma up, but the bride's mother was actually laughing along with her. Nobody else laughed, and they kept shooting them nasty looks, but that was it. I would have been out of place to say something, and it was so hard to sit there while my friend tried not to cry. I was LIVID.

Sierra524

LMc0322 said:

Wow, sorry if you're offended by this, but your mom AND fmil sound like totally out of control bitches.  I'd ask my mother to leave if she can't control herself. What an awful position to put you in, and what kind of grown woman speaks that way to one of her child's friends?

Oh, Im not offended because its the truth. Both of them are out of control. They both have this "I say what I want, when I want" attitude. They both think they can just say whatever they want, whenever they want no matter who it offends.

Jen4948

Sierra524 said:

LMc0322 said:

Wow, sorry if you're offended by this, but your mom AND fmil sound like totally out of control bitches.  I'd ask my mother to leave if she can't control herself. What an awful position to put you in, and what kind of grown woman speaks that way to one of her child's friends?

Oh, Im not offended because its the truth. Both of them are out of control. They both have this "I say what I want, when I want" attitude. They both think they can just say whatever they want, whenever they want no matter who it offends.

My mom is like that too and it's ruined some experiences for me.  I'm not looking forward to dealing with her when it comes to my wedding planning.

[Deleted User]

wrigleyville said:

I went to a friend's shower a while back. She's pretty self-conscious about her weight, so imagine my horror when her grandmother exclaimed, "Yeah, like THAT will fit her," every time she opened a pretty nightie.

My friend was near tears by the time the gift portion was over, and I felt so bad for her because she got a lot of lovely gifts and couldn't even enjoy them. Her hands were shaking after a while, and she could hardly open the last few items. I wish someone had shut grandma up, but the bride's mother was actually laughing along with her. Nobody else laughed, and they kept shooting them nasty looks, but that was it. I would have been out of place to say something, and it was so hard to sit there while my friend tried not to cry. I was LIVID.

How cruel.  At what point do you cut off family? I hope she can find the strength to start standing up for herself.

BMoreBride6

I shower invite was showed to me by a friend (it was for a distant cousin of hers).  On the invite it stated that the couple one of those 360 registries where you can pretty much register for anything from any website.  They were registered for their wedding rings, both over $500.  

HisGirlFriday13

You won't get reamed by me! I don't believe STDates are inviolable. Once you send one, you *SHOULD* send an invite. If you don't, there needs to be a damn good reason.

"I sent a STDate, but now I want to invite someone else and we're over-budget and over-capacity, can I rescind the STDate?" -- NO, not a good reason.

"I sent a STDate, but then the person was needlessly cruel and hurtful to me and tried to stir up shit and was horrible, can I rescind the STDate?" -- YES, absolutely.

STDates don't give you carte blanc to be mean and cruel.

kerbohl

wrigleyville said:

I went to a friend's shower a while back. She's pretty self-conscious about her weight, so imagine my horror when her grandmother exclaimed, "Yeah, like THAT will fit her," every time she opened a pretty nightie.

My friend was near tears by the time the gift portion was over, and I felt so bad for her because she got a lot of lovely gifts and couldn't even enjoy them. Her hands were shaking after a while, and she could hardly open the last few items. I wish someone had shut grandma up, but the bride's mother was actually laughing along with her. Nobody else laughed, and they kept shooting them nasty looks, but that was it. I would have been out of place to say something, and it was so hard to sit there while my friend tried not to cry. I was LIVID.

I sometimes wonder at the stupidity/cruelty of some people.  Too bad someone who was in a place to say something didn't. 

wrigleyville

I don't think she'd have the nerve to rescind invitations to her own mother and grandmother, but I see your point. 

In retrospect, I probably should have said something to them, but I knew they'd start a screaming match and make things even worse. They're those shrieking harpie trashy types who would have clawed my face off if I dared speak up. It would have turned into a Jerry Springer episode, and I didn't want that.

Jen4948

wrigleyville said:

I don't think she'd have the nerve to rescind invitations to her own mother and grandmother, but I see your point. 

In retrospect, I probably should have said something to them, but I knew they'd start a screaming match and make things even worse. They're those shrieking harpie trashy types who would have clawed my face off if I dared speak up. It would have turned into a Jerry Springer episode, and I didn't want that.

Well, they would have deserved to be kicked out on their asses, but I can understand why you wouldn't have.

[Deleted User]

wrigleyville said:

I don't think she'd have the nerve to rescind invitations to her own mother and grandmother, but I see your point. 

In retrospect, I probably should have said something to them, but I knew they'd start a screaming match and make things even worse. They're those shrieking harpie trashy types who would have clawed my face off if I dared speak up. It would have turned into a Jerry Springer episode, and I didn't want that.

You  made the right call, as unfortunate as it was.  If this is the way they treat her when she's having a nice moment and not doing anything wrong, imagine what sort of things they'd say/do if one of her friends dared to stand up to them.

wrigleyville

Precisely. She sort of powered through, and we made sure to get her drunk later. If it had become a shouting match, she would have lost it for sure. At least she got to enjoy most of her day. We went through all of her gifts again while drinking later that night, and she was super happy.

Jen4948

Courtpenguin21 said:

Well then kudos to your awesome friend. She obviously has more willpower then me and really great friends too. I would have been absolutely miserable and holed up in my room if someone treated me that way.

I second the kudos.  I would have probably lost my temper and behaved in non-etiquette-approved ways, or I would have thrown them out.  If she could get through the shower without doing that or what @Courtpenguin21 would, she has a lot of strength.

gpeeples

@Sierra524 Omg I love your kitten!  He looks just like my kitty did when he was a kitten.  Now he's just a really big kitten...

drummerbonbon

wrigleyville said:

Precisely. She sort of powered through, and we made sure to get her drunk later. If it had become a shouting match, she would have lost it for sure. At least she got to enjoy most of her day. We went through all of her gifts again while drinking later that night, and she was super happy.

This sounds perfect to me, and like something I would want my friends to do for me if I ever had someone act that awful at my shower. If my own family can't respect me, at least my friends have my back.

Ajuliana

UberClaire said:

Not sure if this counts, but I read a thread on another forum where the bridesmaids had purchased a cake from an expensive bakery for the bridal shower. The bride had wanted to use this bakery for the wedding cake but couldn't afford it, so the bridesmaids thought it would be a really heartfelt surprise to have this miniature replica made for the bridal shower.

A guest brought an uninvited toddler, and the child proceeded to run around unattended, grab the cake, and push it to the floor before the bride even got to see it. The mother of the child laughed it off, didn't offer any compensation, didn't reprimand the child, nothin'.

That one pretty much took the cake for me.

I get offering compensation if my child breaks your lamp, but a cake?  I can replace a lamp, but it's not like the cake is going to magically reappear at the shower.  But I would probably have laughed awkwardly and then apologized profusely.  

Then again I don't have kids, so this is completely hypothetical.

melb2013

That is INSANE!  My SIL talked a lot about how "nice" "beautiful" "smart" and "level headed" H's ex-gf was, but that's nothing compared to this.  I'm so sorry!

Simply Fated

Ajuliana said:

UberClaire said:

Not sure if this counts, but I read a thread on another forum where the bridesmaids had purchased a cake from an expensive bakery for the bridal shower. The bride had wanted to use this bakery for the wedding cake but couldn't afford it, so the bridesmaids thought it would be a really heartfelt surprise to have this miniature replica made for the bridal shower.

A guest brought an uninvited toddler, and the child proceeded to run around unattended, grab the cake, and push it to the floor before the bride even got to see it. The mother of the child laughed it off, didn't offer any compensation, didn't reprimand the child, nothin'.

That one pretty much took the cake for me.

I get offering compensation if my child breaks your lamp, but a cake?  I can replace a lamp, but it's not like the cake is going to magically reappear at the shower.  But I would probably have laughed awkwardly and then apologized profusely.  

Then again I don't have kids, so this is completely hypothetical.

I would have offered to run out and buy a new one on the spot.

RookieBridesmaid

Not at a wedding shower, but at a baby shower. It was for a very close friend and co-worker. She was not happy at the amount of people who showed up (her wedding shower was exactly 1 year before and she had 3 x's the guests, which meant 3 x's the gifts) and she couldn't believe how little was missing from her registry. 

So, she looks over at pile of gifts and sees the diaper wreath that I made -- it was a "wreath" of diapers with a pair of baby shoes, a few rattles, some socks, a few teethers and a cute "It's a Girl!" teddy bear that was holding an envelope with $50 gift card to where she was registered -- and she says "who the hell made that? why make me something useless when you could have bought me what I wanted from my registry?!?" 

I was SO embarassed. All I could manage to say without bursting into tears was "I made it.... there's a $50 gift card in there..." and she was like "Oh. Thanks, then!" and walked away. 

We never talked about it again, and we're still friendly (5 years later), but I will never forget how horrible I felt -- like the wind was knocked out of me! I mean, you can think all the ugly, selfish, thoughts you want about what people should be buying you -- but PLEASE keep them to yourself!

Ajuliana

Yeah I guess you are all right. Thank goodness for Costco always having ready made cakes when you're in a pinch and/or just feel like having a sheet cake at the house.

[Deleted User]

RookieBridesmaid said:

Not at a wedding shower, but at a baby shower. It was for a very close friend and co-worker. She was not happy at the amount of people who showed up (her wedding shower was exactly 1 year before and she had 3 x's the guests, which meant 3 x's the gifts) and she couldn't believe how little was missing from her registry. 

So, she looks over at pile of gifts and sees the diaper wreath that I made -- it was a "wreath" of diapers with a pair of baby shoes, a few rattles, some socks, a few teethers and a cute "It's a Girl!" teddy bear that was holding an envelope with $50 gift card to where she was registered -- and she says "who the hell made that? why make me something useless when you could have bought me what I wanted from my registry?!?" 

I was SO embarassed. All I could manage to say without bursting into tears was "I made it.... there's a $50 gift card in there..." and she was like "Oh. Thanks, then!" and walked away. 

We never talked about it again, and we're still friendly (5 years later), but I will never forget how horrible I felt -- like the wind was knocked out of me! I mean, you can think all the ugly, selfish, thoughts you want about what people should be buying you -- but PLEASE keep them to yourself!

WOW you are a bigger person than me, because I would NOT still be friendly with her.  In fact, I would have picked up the gift, including the gift card, and immediately walked out of the shower.  And she wonders why barely anyone showed up?