How do i announce that their will be no children at my wedding?

matcogrl

I knew from the beginning that i did not want children at my wedding, i want it to be a fun and worry-free experience for my family and friends. I do not want to create a wedding website because many people i am inviting either do not have internet or access to a computer. But i have read that you do not announce "no children" or "adults only" on your invites. So fellow knotties, please help me because my invites are going out in the next month THANKS! 

Bubbles2014

Address the invites to the adults only. If they RSVP with their children you need to call them and say "Sorry, but the invitation was just for you and Jane. We hope you will still be able to attend!" If they chose to decline because they can't bring their children then say that you're sorry to hear that and that you'll miss them.

matcogrl

Thank you very much Bubbles2014! I was worried about how to be clear but not rude and this seems like a very simple yet effective idea i over looked, thank you again.

QueerFemme

I agree with Bubbles. Just make sure you are clear on the invitions about who IS invited. Don't worry about who isn't invited unless you get an RSVP that includes extra people. You can address that individually.

In an abundence of caution to make it even more clear about who is invited, you can also include specifics on your RSVP cards.  Sometihing like:

We have reserved 2 seats in your honor. 

Jane Doe _____ Attending   ______Declines with regrets

John Doe _____ Attending   ______Declines with regrets

aurianna

QueerFemme's on it.
Another option is on the RSVP to have "2 seats have been reserved in your honor" and then, if you're having meal choices, ask them to initial/write their name by their choice. It won't work in every case (we had some people that just put check marks and not names), but on a lot of the RSVP cards you'll be able to see if anyone wrote their kid's names down so you can nip it in the bud. Also seeing the specific meal choice needing to be picked might deter people from just showing up with kids since it makes them realize "only the people on this invite are going to get food."

But actually putting their names on the RSVP for them is probably the most fool proof route if possible.

kmmssg

Our third DD had a no kids wedding.  When we were asked how the planning was going we would always find a way to mention in the conversation that is would be a no kids event.  Her biomom and stepdad have 15 siblings between them and they were fighting hard to demand kids be invited even though  1.  They weren't paying a dime of the wedding expenses  2.  DD and her then FI DIDN'T want kids there!

By the time the invitations went out it wasn't much of a surprise to the guests that it was a no kid deal.  

Blue & White

I just want you to go whitewater rafting on the gauley (near Fayetteville, WV) for your honeymoon. So fun! It's only done in the fall

As for kiddos, I'd make sure you have the phone numbers of your guests just in case you have to call to confirm the invited parties. Address your invites to just the people invited and sit back and watch the sometimes hilarious rsvps come in.

harper0813

Just address the invites to the adults and if they ask you if they can bring their children, explain that you weren't able to invite everyone you would have liked and you hope they can still come. Use the same line if they just tack their kids onto the RSVP cards - call them and repeat the line ad nauseum. Some people don't understand that their children aren't welcome (with excitement) everywhere, unfortunately. You are well within your rights.

I would not use the line "We don't want kids at the wedding," or "We just want people to have fun and let loose," as it could rub people the wrong way and/or open up the floor for argument.

kmmssg

zobird said:

Just address the invites to the adults and if they ask you if they can bring their children, explain that you weren't able to invite everyone you would have liked and you hope they can still come. Use the same line if they just tack their kids onto the RSVP cards - call them and repeat the line ad nauseum. Some people don't understand that their children aren't welcome (with excitement) everywhere, unfortunately. You are well within your rights. I would not use the line "We don't want kids at the wedding," or "We just want people to have fun and let loose," as it could rub people the wrong way and/or open up the floor for argument.

Yes, be very careful on this.  When we would mention something, we were very careful with the delivery.  We just because of huge families on all side we were unable to accomodate children.

Jen4948

Just tell anyone who RSVPs for their kids, "I'm sorry for the confusion, but the invitation is only for you and SO.  The kids were not invited."  If someone threatens not to come unless the kids are included, just respond, "I'm sorry to hear that you can't make it.  We'll miss you."

NYCBruin

kmmssg said:

Our third DD had a no kids wedding.  When we were asked how the planning was going we would always find a way to mention in the conversation that is would be a no kids event.  Her biomom and stepdad have 15 siblings between them and they were fighting hard to demand kids be invited even though  1.  They weren't paying a dime of the wedding expenses  2.  DD and her then FI DIDN'T want kids there!

By the time the invitations went out it wasn't much of a surprise to the guests that it was a no kid deal.  

This is what we are doing, too.  Both of our parents know that we won't be having children outside.  My mom has said she's already had a few people ask point blank about their children being invited (our wedding isn't for over a year!), and she's been honest with them.  I figure by the time the wedding rolls around, no one will even be expecting an invitation to include their children. 

phira

I agree with PP:

1) Don't explicitly state, "NO CHILDREN." Just make sure that your invitations are addressed properly, and consider formatting your RSVP cards to make it clear how many people are invited.

2) If anyone asks, just say that you and your fiance have decided to not invite any children. If anyone tries to RSVP with kids, call (immediately) and kindly clarify the situation. Don't make up reasons, just stand firm: "We're so sorry for the confusion, but we are only inviting [people] and not [people's children]. We hope you can still make it."

3) If you have to give any kind of reason, like other posters have said, don't make it about how annoying kids are. There's always, "We can't afford it," and when people offer to pay extra to bring their kids, "We're sorry, but we don't feel comfortable making an exception when we can't make an exception for everyone."

My brother and sister-in-law did a no-under-16 wedding (to avoid splitting up families) and some of my aunts and uncles (and my grandmother!) were very, very upset about it. One of the reasons they gave was, I thought, a great and unoffensive reason: there were not going to be any child-friendly activities at the wedding, and they didn't feel comfortable having unsupervised children at the venue.

My family was NOT okay with these reasons at all. Some of them thought that their children were so mature that they didn't NEED child-friendly activities, and that it would be fine for them to run around unsupervised. Some of them thought that my brother and sister-in-law should just PROVIDE child-friendly activities and supervision, and that their fears regarding the venue were unfounded.

Considering that the venue itself had WARNED my brother and sister-in-law that sometimes unsupervised children had run loose on the grounds and ended up in the pool, I don't think those were unfounded fears (especially given how wild some of my cousins are).

My point is that if you give ANY reasons that might suggest, for a moment, that children are not well-behaved angels, you are going to offend someone. Just stick to, "We can't afford it," or, "There isn't enough space," and then move on.

GB520

Like previous posters said invite to Mr. and Mrs. Smith. People usually realize it and if not do not feel bad about carefully correcting them in a nice way of course. I actually watched all my cousins with my brother at the hotel while our parents all were at my second cousins wedding.