Guests for live-at-home children?

demonofsarila

I'm working on my wedding invite list. Some of my guests are live at home young adult children, which the knot says means the children are listed on the inner envelope of the parents' invite like this (copied and pasted from the article on the knot) :

Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham

Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany and Miss Kelly

One family on my guest list I'm really confused about. There's 3 over 18 children who live at home, so would this be right?

Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham

Mr. Jeffrey, Brittany and Kelly

Or for Brittany/Kelly should I use something like Ms. as a tittle?

Using the names from the article:

Jeffrey has a fiance, recently graduated from college, and has moved back in with his parents until he finds s job. Jeffrey's fiance lives with her parents (separate address), does she get a separate solo invite?

Brittany has a boyfriend, is in college, and her parents' house is her permanent address. How do I make it clear that Brittany can bring her boyfriend as a guest if she wants?

Kelly is also in college with the parents' house as her permanent address. 

I would prefer to avoid sending an invite to everyone over 18 because then there's 4 invites going to a house where 3 people live year-round. So I would prefer to send 1 invite to the whole house. I've also considered 2, but would including Brittany and Kelly on the parents' invite and giving Jeffrey his own invite be rude to Britney and Kelly?

libby2483

Although you would prefer to send one invitation, proper etiquette requires anyone 18 and over to receive his or her own invitation.  So, it is actually proper etiquette to send four invitations to the house if three children are adults.  In addition, anyone in a relationship must be invited with their SO (which it sounds like you are planning to do), but those SOs can just be included (by name) on the invitations you are sending.  You don't need to send one to the SOs at their own addresses.  So your four invitations will be:

Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham

Mr. Jeffrey Abraham

Ms. Fiance Smith

Ms. Brittany Abraham

Mr. Boyfriend Jones

Ms. Kelly Abraham and Guest (if you are extended a guest to Kelly, which is optional if she is single)

mlg78

What libby said.

demonofsarila

Brittany and Kelly won't even be at their parents house between now and the wedding, and I'm not certain if their parents open and read their mail for them or not (I would bet not). Even if I was sure their parents would open their mail for them, it would be their parents filling out the RSVP card anyway. There's being past your 18th birthday, and then there's actually being an independent adult.

Thank you so much for your advice. I realized that Brittany and Kelly are still considered children by the family since they're still in college. While myself, my fiance, Jeffrey, and his fiance are all considered and treated like adults by the family, and have been since we each graduated from college. And thank you for letting me know that Jeffrey's fiance should be on his invite, I was really confused about that and I didn't want to be rude (if Jeffrey expected her name to be on there and it wasn't he might have thought we weren't inviting her).

Jen4948

All children should have titles.  That means,

Mr. Daniel, Mr. Jeffrey, Ms. Brittany, Ms. Kelly.

The article that put Ms. on the females but not Mr. on the males is wrong.

itzMS

demonofsarila said:

Brittany and Kelly won't even be at their parents house between now and the wedding, and I'm not certain if their parents open and read their mail for them or not (I would bet not). Even if I was sure their parents would open their mail for them, it would be their parents filling out the RSVP card anyway. There's being past your 18th birthday, and then there's actually being an independent adult.

Thank you so much for your advice. I realized that Brittany and Kelly are still considered children by the family since they're still in college. While myself, my fiance, Jeffrey, and his fiance are all considered and treated like adults by the family, and have been since we each graduated from college. And thank you for letting me know that Jeffrey's fiance should be on his invite, I was really confused about that and I didn't want to be rude (if Jeffrey expected her name to be on there and it wasn't he might have thought we weren't inviting her).

As to the bolded, THERE IS NOT A DIFFERENCE. If you are 18, you are an adult, and you get your own invitation.

Send them each their own, and invite their boyfriends as applicable. Can you FB message them to get their address at college? This isn't rocket science, I promise.

southernbelle0915

demonofsarila said:

Brittany and Kelly won't even be at their parents house between now and the wedding, and I'm not certain if their parents open and read their mail for them or not (I would bet not). Even if I was sure their parents would open their mail for them, it would be their parents filling out the RSVP card anyway. There's being past your 18th birthday, and then there's actually being an independent adult. 

Thank you so much for your advice. I realized that Brittany and Kelly are still considered children by the family since they're still in college. While myself, my fiance, Jeffrey, and his fiance are all considered and treated like adults by the family, and have been since we each graduated from college. And thank you for letting me know that Jeffrey's fiance should be on his invite, I was really confused about that and I didn't want to be rude (if Jeffrey expected her name to be on there and it wasn't he might have thought we weren't inviting her).

Etiquette dictates that being past your 18th birthday gets you your own invitation. It would be incredibly rude of the host to take judgment into their own hands as to the maturity of said guest over 18 years old. It's easier to just send them their own anyway, based on your situation.

Jeffrey gets his own addressed like this:

Mr. Jeffrey Jones and Ms. FianceFirst FianceLast

Brittany gets her own addressed like this:

Ms. Brittany Jones and Mr. BoyfriendFirst BoyfriendLast

Kelly gets her own addressed like this:

Ms. Kelly Jones (and Guest) <-- if you are providing truly single guests with the opportunity to bring a guest.

I definitely feel you that it's convenient to only send one, but it's rude. 

lovesclimbing

demonofsarila said:

Brittany and Kelly won't even be at their parents house between now and the wedding, and I'm not certain if their parents open and read their mail for them or not (I would bet not).

If they won't be at their parents house between now and the wedding, why don't you send the invitations to the place where they will be?