Pre-wedding Parties

Ideas on Who Could Host?

My fiance and I agreed on not having a bridal party because he has been in 10 weddings as a groomsmen (literally), and I only have about 2 friends I'd include. If you don't have a wedding party, who throws the shower? Is there a polite way to mention we aren't having a bridal party as a hint that no one is necessarily   suppose to throw a shower or tea? I have a ton of people all over the bachelorette party, but nothing for the shower and it's making me so nervous. I also have his family that is wanting to help, but want to be told what to do.Everything besides the parties is planned (venue, dress, cake, flowers) Am I being dumb or over-thinking? (Wedding is in June 2014)
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Re: Ideas on Who Could Host?

  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
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    Your mother, best friends, or whoever wants to can throw you a shower, regardless of you having a wedding party or not.
    image
    [Deleted User]
  • Okay, thank you!! :) I just wanted to check. I live at home because my fiance and I started dating as I finished college and knew we'd be getting married (so I didnt want a lease etc) so I didn't want the family-hosted shower to be an ordeal. I know I can't ask anyone, but my mom has offered to throw it and I know a ton of people will pitch in if she did it (without being asked). They just need a leader in it :)
  • Okay, thank you!! :) I just wanted to check. I live at home because my fiance and I started dating as I finished college and knew we'd be getting married (so I didnt want a lease etc) so I didn't want the family-hosted shower to be an ordeal. I know I can't ask anyone, but my mom has offered to throw it and I know a ton of people will pitch in if she did it (without being asked). They just need a leader in it :)


    In my circle of friends/relatives, a mother or mother-in-law throwing a shower is becoming more popular...but I'd still side-eye it a bit.

    As a shower is a gift-giving event, your mother essentially inviting guests to get you gifts is still a bit off in my book.

    You'll have to decide what you're comfortable with.

  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
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    I agree with itzMS to a certain extent.  Having said that, my daughter's aunts were the official hostesses of her shower.  However, as the MOB I was the "silent partner".  I very much appreciated that my S'sIL volunteered to host the shower, but I did not want them to incur a lot of expense.  We talked about what they were comfortable doing/spending, and then I offset and supplemented everything else.

    I also held the shower in my home because every guest had been to it many times over the years.  It seemed silly to host it elsewhere "for the sake of appearance" and inconvenience guests trying to navigate to an unfamiliar location.
  • Not that you would ever ask for one, or even fish for one. But I had a couple at church offer to throw us a couples shower, my cousin offered to throw a shower, and honestly co workers might. Pretty much anyone who knows you and is happy for you can, its just whether you would choose to accept.

    Blue_Bird[Deleted User]
  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird Bawlmer member
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    edited August 2013
    If no one offers to throw you a shower/bachelorette party/etc., you don't get one. You don't hint or mention anything. No one is supposed to throw you one because it's a gift, and not everyone gets one, which is o.k. Now, if someone has offered to host one, it's perfectly fine to accept, no matter who it is, as long as the guests are also invited to the wedding. The only exception is when it is a church or work-only shower. Many couples don't have a bridal party.

    If your fiance's family want to help with wedding plans, feel free to give them tasks, but you can't ask them to throw you a party.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
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    You don't need a bridal party or a registry to have a shower.  All that's necessary is for someone to volunteer to host it.
    [Deleted User]
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
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    OP, it's still early. Showers don't usually happen within a month or two before the wedding. Things could change.
    [Deleted User]
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
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    Jen4948 said:
    You don't need a bridal party or a registry to have a shower.  All that's necessary is for someone to volunteer to host it.
    How do you host a shower for someone who has no registry?
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
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    edited August 2013
    mobkaz said:
    Jen4948 said:
    You don't need a bridal party or a registry to have a shower.  All that's necessary is for someone to volunteer to host it.
    How do you host a shower for someone who has no registry?
    You do it the same way you host a shower for someone who does have a registry.  Registries are not required to have showers.  The only different thing is that no registry information is included in the invitation.  Guests who need gift ideas can use their imaginations-just as they used to in the days before anyone ever thought of gift registries.  And if they don't have imaginations, or their imaginations don't give them ideas, they can contact other friends or relatives of the bride, or the bride herself, for ideas.
    tammym1001[Deleted User]Blue_Bird
  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio member
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    mobkaz said:
    Jen4948 said:
    You don't need a bridal party or a registry to have a shower.  All that's necessary is for someone to volunteer to host it.
    How do you host a shower for someone who has no registry?
    My MOH is hosting a shower for me and I don't have a registry. People will bring me whatever present they choose to pick out for me. I will open them, tell them how much I love them, and then send them a thank you card telling them how much I appreciate them being there and look forward to using whatever they bought for me.
    image
    Blue_Bird[Deleted User]
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
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    mobkaz said:
    Jen4948 said:
    You don't need a bridal party or a registry to have a shower.  All that's necessary is for someone to volunteer to host it.
    How do you host a shower for someone who has no registry?
    My MOH is hosting a shower for me and I don't have a registry. People will bring me whatever present they choose to pick out for me. I will open them, tell them how much I love them, and then send them a thank you card telling them how much I appreciate them being there and look forward to using whatever they bought for me.
    In my experience, someone who does not build a registry does so for two reasons.  They prefer not to have a shower, and hope that people read between the lines and gift them cash for their wedding.  

    I am certainly capable of purchasing a gift without a registry.  But I always prefer to purchase something I know someone wants or needs. Not every guest invited to a shower knows the bride or even the family well enough to guess her personal tastes.  If a bride does not create a registry I can't imagine why I would call her for suggestions.  That seems awkward and inappropriate for both parties.   I have viewed a registry somewhat as a courtesy to guests.  Showers are painful enough to attend.  Affording a guest the ability to at least shop for something they know is wanted and appreciated seems the least a couple can do.
  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird Bawlmer member
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    edited August 2013
    mobkaz said:
    mobkaz said:
    Jen4948 said:
    You don't need a bridal party or a registry to have a shower.  All that's necessary is for someone to volunteer to host it.
    How do you host a shower for someone who has no registry?
    My MOH is hosting a shower for me and I don't have a registry. People will bring me whatever present they choose to pick out for me. I will open them, tell them how much I love them, and then send them a thank you card telling them how much I appreciate them being there and look forward to using whatever they bought for me.
    In my experience, someone who does not build a registry does so for two reasons.  They prefer not to have a shower, and hope that people read between the lines and gift them cash for their wedding.  

    I am certainly capable of purchasing a gift without a registry.  But I always prefer to purchase something I know someone wants or needs. Not every guest invited to a shower knows the bride or even the family well enough to guess her personal tastes.  If a bride does not create a registry I can't imagine why I would call her for suggestions.  That seems awkward and inappropriate for both parties.   I have viewed a registry somewhat as a courtesy to guests.  Showers are painful enough to attend.  Affording a guest the ability to at least shop for something they know is wanted and appreciated seems the least a couple can do.
    You realize that you aren't obligated to attend an shower, don't you? It's a party to celebrate someone you care about, not a torture session. Not attending would solve your problem of worrying about what to buy.
    [Deleted User]
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
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    Blue_Bird said:
    mobkaz said:
    mobkaz said:
    Jen4948 said:
    You don't need a bridal party or a registry to have a shower.  All that's necessary is for someone to volunteer to host it.
    How do you host a shower for someone who has no registry?
    My MOH is hosting a shower for me and I don't have a registry. People will bring me whatever present they choose to pick out for me. I will open them, tell them how much I love them, and then send them a thank you card telling them how much I appreciate them being there and look forward to using whatever they bought for me.
    In my experience, someone who does not build a registry does so for two reasons.  They prefer not to have a shower, and hope that people read between the lines and gift them cash for their wedding.  

    I am certainly capable of purchasing a gift without a registry.  But I always prefer to purchase something I know someone wants or needs. Not every guest invited to a shower knows the bride or even the family well enough to guess her personal tastes.  If a bride does not create a registry I can't imagine why I would call her for suggestions.  That seems awkward and inappropriate for both parties.   I have viewed a registry somewhat as a courtesy to guests.  Showers are painful enough to attend.  Affording a guest the ability to at least shop for something they know is wanted and appreciated seems the least a couple can do.
    You realize that you aren't obligated to attend an shower, don't you? It's a party to celebrate someone you care about, not a torture session. Not attending would solve your problem of worrying about what to buy.
    Actually, it would not.  Whether I attend or not, I always send a gift.  
  • I agree with @mobkaz

    I always send a gift, too. It is a pain in the ass when a bride creates a lazy registry (incomplete, less than 20 items, etc) or no registry at all and still accepts a shower.

    My friend who had a shower without a registry received 3 George Foreman grills at one shower. Talk about awkward.

  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio member
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    mobkaz said:
    mobkaz said:
    Jen4948 said:
    You don't need a bridal party or a registry to have a shower.  All that's necessary is for someone to volunteer to host it.
    How do you host a shower for someone who has no registry?
    My MOH is hosting a shower for me and I don't have a registry. People will bring me whatever present they choose to pick out for me. I will open them, tell them how much I love them, and then send them a thank you card telling them how much I appreciate them being there and look forward to using whatever they bought for me.
    In my experience, someone who does not build a registry does so for two reasons.  They prefer not to have a shower, and hope that people read between the lines and gift them cash for their wedding.  

    I am certainly capable of purchasing a gift without a registry.  But I always prefer to purchase something I know someone wants or needs. Not every guest invited to a shower knows the bride or even the family well enough to guess her personal tastes.  If a bride does not create a registry I can't imagine why I would call her for suggestions.  That seems awkward and inappropriate for both parties.   I have viewed a registry somewhat as a courtesy to guests.  Showers are painful enough to attend.  Affording a guest the ability to at least shop for something they know is wanted and appreciated seems the least a couple can do.
    Well I think that's part of the problem. People seem to think that they need to invite every female that is coming to the wedding to a bridal shower. I'm having 12 people at my bridal shower including myself and they all know me well enough to pick out a present for me.

    I've had the argument here before about not having a registry so I realize that people have very different opinions about them. I feel like I'm capable of shopping for a present for someone without them giving me an itemized list of exactly what they have to have. Registries are a fairly new thing, but people act like you can't have a wedding or bridal shower without having one. People have been getting married for thousands of years and receiving gifts and well wishes long before Bed, Bath, and Beyond told them that their guests don't know how to buy presents without their help.
    image
    NYCMercedesJen4948[Deleted User]Blue_Bird
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
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    @tammy1001 You put that so well!
    tammym1001
  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio member
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    Thank you. 
    image
  • mobkaz said:
    mobkaz said:
    Jen4948 said:
    You don't need a bridal party or a registry to have a shower.  All that's necessary is for someone to volunteer to host it.
    How do you host a shower for someone who has no registry?
    My MOH is hosting a shower for me and I don't have a registry. People will bring me whatever present they choose to pick out for me. I will open them, tell them how much I love them, and then send them a thank you card telling them how much I appreciate them being there and look forward to using whatever they bought for me.
    In my experience, someone who does not build a registry does so for two reasons.  They prefer not to have a shower, and hope that people read between the lines and gift them cash for their wedding.  

    I am certainly capable of purchasing a gift without a registry.  But I always prefer to purchase something I know someone wants or needs. Not every guest invited to a shower knows the bride or even the family well enough to guess her personal tastes.  If a bride does not create a registry I can't imagine why I would call her for suggestions.  That seems awkward and inappropriate for both parties.   I have viewed a registry somewhat as a courtesy to guests.  Showers are painful enough to attend.  Affording a guest the ability to at least shop for something they know is wanted and appreciated seems the least a couple can do.
    Well I think that's part of the problem. People seem to think that they need to invite every female that is coming to the wedding to a bridal shower. I'm having 12 people at my bridal shower including myself and they all know me well enough to pick out a present for me.

    I've had the argument here before about not having a registry so I realize that people have very different opinions about them. I feel like I'm capable of shopping for a present for someone without them giving me an itemized list of exactly what they have to have. Registries are a fairly new thing, but people act like you can't have a wedding or bridal shower without having one. People have been getting married for thousands of years and receiving gifts and well wishes long before Bed, Bath, and Beyond told them that their guests don't know how to buy presents without their help.

    Ugghh all the quote boxes are annoying. Anyways

    The difference with getting married as early as 20 years ago (and the thousands of years prior), was that people didn't live together already for years, or have their own place for years and get married later in life.

    Registries really are key nowadays, as a good majority of couples have almost everything they could need. Registries help guests know what decor and tastes the couple has established, as well as the items they need upgrades on.

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
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    mobkaz said:
    mobkaz said:
    Jen4948 said:
    You don't need a bridal party or a registry to have a shower.  All that's necessary is for someone to volunteer to host it.
    How do you host a shower for someone who has no registry?
    My MOH is hosting a shower for me and I don't have a registry. People will bring me whatever present they choose to pick out for me. I will open them, tell them how much I love them, and then send them a thank you card telling them how much I appreciate them being there and look forward to using whatever they bought for me.
    In my experience, someone who does not build a registry does so for two reasons.  They prefer not to have a shower, and hope that people read between the lines and gift them cash for their wedding.  

    I am certainly capable of purchasing a gift without a registry.  But I always prefer to purchase something I know someone wants or needs. Not every guest invited to a shower knows the bride or even the family well enough to guess her personal tastes.  If a bride does not create a registry I can't imagine why I would call her for suggestions.  That seems awkward and inappropriate for both parties.   I have viewed a registry somewhat as a courtesy to guests.  Showers are painful enough to attend.  Affording a guest the ability to at least shop for something they know is wanted and appreciated seems the least a couple can do.
    Well I think that's part of the problem. People seem to think that they need to invite every female that is coming to the wedding to a bridal shower. I'm having 12 people at my bridal shower including myself and they all know me well enough to pick out a present for me.

    I've had the argument here before about not having a registry so I realize that people have very different opinions about them. I feel like I'm capable of shopping for a present for someone without them giving me an itemized list of exactly what they have to have. Registries are a fairly new thing, but people act like you can't have a wedding or bridal shower without having one. People have been getting married for thousands of years and receiving gifts and well wishes long before Bed, Bath, and Beyond told them that their guests don't know how to buy presents without their help.
    Thank you.  Beautifully put.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
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    itzMS said:
    mobkaz said:
    mobkaz said:
    Jen4948 said:
    You don't need a bridal party or a registry to have a shower.  All that's necessary is for someone to volunteer to host it.
    How do you host a shower for someone who has no registry?
    My MOH is hosting a shower for me and I don't have a registry. People will bring me whatever present they choose to pick out for me. I will open them, tell them how much I love them, and then send them a thank you card telling them how much I appreciate them being there and look forward to using whatever they bought for me.
    In my experience, someone who does not build a registry does so for two reasons.  They prefer not to have a shower, and hope that people read between the lines and gift them cash for their wedding.  

    I am certainly capable of purchasing a gift without a registry.  But I always prefer to purchase something I know someone wants or needs. Not every guest invited to a shower knows the bride or even the family well enough to guess her personal tastes.  If a bride does not create a registry I can't imagine why I would call her for suggestions.  That seems awkward and inappropriate for both parties.   I have viewed a registry somewhat as a courtesy to guests.  Showers are painful enough to attend.  Affording a guest the ability to at least shop for something they know is wanted and appreciated seems the least a couple can do.
    Well I think that's part of the problem. People seem to think that they need to invite every female that is coming to the wedding to a bridal shower. I'm having 12 people at my bridal shower including myself and they all know me well enough to pick out a present for me.

    I've had the argument here before about not having a registry so I realize that people have very different opinions about them. I feel like I'm capable of shopping for a present for someone without them giving me an itemized list of exactly what they have to have. Registries are a fairly new thing, but people act like you can't have a wedding or bridal shower without having one. People have been getting married for thousands of years and receiving gifts and well wishes long before Bed, Bath, and Beyond told them that their guests don't know how to buy presents without their help.

    Ugghh all the quote boxes are annoying. Anyways

    The difference with getting married as early as 20 years ago (and the thousands of years prior), was that people didn't live together already for years, or have their own place for years and get married later in life.

    Registries really are key nowadays, as a good majority of couples have almost everything they could need. Registries help guests know what decor and tastes the couple has established, as well as the items they need upgrades on.

    None of this prevents anyone from choosing a gift or a couple from expressing gratitude for a gift, whether or not it was on a registry.  Registries are not and never have been required-for weddings or for showers.  Sorry, but I don't accept invitations to be told what to buy for the hosts; nor do I feel required to do a pre-gift selection for people.

    Guests are welcome to use their imaginations-it is not a faux pas if they give something that the recipient already has or doesn't like. All that is necessary is for the recipient to graciously acknowledge the gifts-whether or not they wanted it or plan to keep it. 
    tammym1001
  • It still makes zero sense to me that you would rather potentially gift someone something they already have or that could be a repeat of another gift at the shower (i.e. my above example of 3 George Foreman grills at one shower) versus something they wanted, in their taste/style, from a registry.

    I guess we will agree to disagree.

  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
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    Clearly there are differing opinions on this topic, and there is no one right or wrong answer. 

    If you read the current threads written by current brides, a common question is, "How do I tell guests I have everything I need and prefer cash?"  The appropriate answer is to create either an extremely small registry or NO registry at all.  One of my points is that if I see no registry information, I assume, based on current trends, that the bride is not interested in tangible gifts.  And since the point of a shower is to gift the bride with tangible items, I would assume the bride did not want a shower but didn't know how to politely decline it.

    I stand by my second point that a registry is a courtesy to guests.  Again, read the threads.  Not many showers seem to be small and intimate any more.  I am flabbergasted to read about showers that include 40-50+ guests.  Not everyone invited to a shower is on a personal basis with the bride. In fact, many of these threads talk about how the bride herself is feeling dread because she won't know any of the guests attending.

    It may not be a "faux pas" to gift something a bride already has, or to be the third guest at the shower to gift the bride the Foreman grill.  But not creating a registry caused me to waste my time, and now the time of the bride who has to make the return.  I also genuinely enjoy gifting the bride something I know she wants.  No actress can fake enjoyment opening Grill #3.  

    I agree with itzMS on this point, "Registries really are key nowadays, as a good majority of couples have almost everything they could need. Registries help guests know what decor and tastes the couple has established, as well as the items they need upgrades on."  Heck.  I've read from brides on here that they would turn down a mug or votive wedding favor just because it didn't go with their decor.  

    Again, I agree there will be differing opinions on this.  But I think in this day and age of mobile families, and trends of living on your own, trying to guess or imagine what someone would want seems unnecesary. 
    blueobsidian
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
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    edited August 2013
    itzMS said:

    It still makes zero sense to me that you would rather potentially gift someone something they already have or that could be a repeat of another gift at the shower (i.e. my above example of 3 George Foreman grills at one shower) versus something they wanted, in their taste/style, from a registry.

    I guess we will agree to disagree.

    We will agree to disagree that a registry is necessary to prevent this from happening, rather than just asking the bride or groom, or that a registry is required for a shower.  Showers took place for centuries before registries were conceived of.  And the "modern day and age" argument just doesn't fly.  I find it to be bullshit generated by the wedding industry and everything that regularly gets denounced on TheKnot.
    tammym1001
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
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    edited August 2013
    Jen4948 said:
    itzMS said:

    It still makes zero sense to me that you would rather potentially gift someone something they already have or that could be a repeat of another gift at the shower (i.e. my above example of 3 George Foreman grills at one shower) versus something they wanted, in their taste/style, from a registry.

    I guess we will agree to disagree.

    We will agree to disagree that a registry is necessary to prevent this from happening, rather than just asking the bride or groom, or that a registry is required for a shower.  Showers took place for centuries before registries were conceived of.  And the "modern day and age" argument just doesn't fly.  I find it to be bullshit generated by the wedding industry and everything that regularly gets denounced on TheKnot.




    I'm pretty sure that a registry is exactly what prevents the duplication of purchased gifts.  It is also a guarantee that what you purchase is what a bride will want, since she created the registry.  Are you seriously suggesting that guests invited to a shower actually CALL THE BRIDE OR GROOM and ask them for gift suggestions??  How is that not awkward?

    "Hello, bride? Hi.  I'm invited to your shower. I need to buy you something you want.  Please give me some ideas from these stores.  Oh, and keep your ideas in the $20 to $30 range.  What's that?  You weren't prepared to take this call and answer this question??

    So, to be clear, when you answer etiquette questions, make sure to remind hostesses to include the phone numbers of the bride and groom on the shower invitation.


    NYCMercedes
  • Thank you for all of your help. I have already started looking at items and thinking about what to put on my registry when we send our wedding invitations. I personally like having a registry and having 2 if possible...that way if I dread going to one store the bride picked, I can choose the other.

    I'm so relieved that the people offering to throw me a shower are okay etiquette wise. :) Thanks for your tips!!
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
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    Thank you for all of your help. I have already started looking at items and thinking about what to put on my registry when we send our wedding invitations. I personally like having a registry and having 2 if possible...that way if I dread going to one store the bride picked, I can choose the other.

    I'm so relieved that the people offering to throw me a shower are okay etiquette wise. :) Thanks for your tips!!

    Please be aware that it is NOT appropriate to insert registry information in your wedding invitations.  
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
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    mobkaz said:
    Jen4948 said:
    itzMS said:

    It still makes zero sense to me that you would rather potentially gift someone something they already have or that could be a repeat of another gift at the shower (i.e. my above example of 3 George Foreman grills at one shower) versus something they wanted, in their taste/style, from a registry.

    I guess we will agree to disagree.

    We will agree to disagree that a registry is necessary to prevent this from happening, rather than just asking the bride or groom, or that a registry is required for a shower.  Showers took place for centuries before registries were conceived of.  And the "modern day and age" argument just doesn't fly.  I find it to be bullshit generated by the wedding industry and everything that regularly gets denounced on TheKnot.




    I'm pretty sure that a registry is exactly what prevents the duplication of purchased gifts.  It is also a guarantee that what you purchase is what a bride will want, since she created the registry.  Are you seriously suggesting that guests invited to a shower actually CALL THE BRIDE OR GROOM and ask them for gift suggestions??  How is that not awkward? 

    Yes, I am.  I assume the shower isn't a surprise?  And if it is, you know something?  Whether or not there is duplication really is no one's business but the couple's and the store's.  They can thank the guest for the gift graciously, return it or give it away, and that's that if they don't want to keep the gift for any fucking reason. 

    Look, you are never going to convince me that registries are required in any way, shape, or form by etiquette, then, now, or in the future.   There is no fucking requirement that couples have to do pre-selections of gifts just in case someone wants to throw them a shower or give gifts for their wedding.  I find the whole argument to be bullshit generated by the wedding industry-and everyone on TheKnot spends so much time deriding the wedding industry that it's actually laughable that there is an argument that registries are required for anything. 
    I'm done arguing this with you.  'Bye now.


  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
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    Jen4948 said:
    mobkaz said:
    Jen4948 said:
    itzMS said:

    It still makes zero sense to me that you would rather potentially gift someone something they already have or that could be a repeat of another gift at the shower (i.e. my above example of 3 George Foreman grills at one shower) versus something they wanted, in their taste/style, from a registry.

    I guess we will agree to disagree.

    We will agree to disagree that a registry is necessary to prevent this from happening, rather than just asking the bride or groom, or that a registry is required for a shower.  Showers took place for centuries before registries were conceived of.  And the "modern day and age" argument just doesn't fly.  I find it to be bullshit generated by the wedding industry and everything that regularly gets denounced on TheKnot.




    I'm pretty sure that a registry is exactly what prevents the duplication of purchased gifts.  It is also a guarantee that what you purchase is what a bride will want, since she created the registry.  Are you seriously suggesting that guests invited to a shower actually CALL THE BRIDE OR GROOM and ask them for gift suggestions??  How is that not awkward? 

    Yes, I am.  I assume the shower isn't a surprise?  And if it is, you know something?  Whether or not there is duplication really is no one's business but the couple's and the store's.  They can thank the guest for the gift graciously, return it or give it away, and that's that if they don't want to keep the gift for any fucking reason. 

    Look, you are never going to convince me that registries are required in any way, shape, or form by etiquette, then, now, or in the future.   There is no fucking requirement that couples have to do pre-selections of gifts just in case someone wants to throw them a shower or give gifts for their wedding.  I find the whole argument to be bullshit generated by the wedding industry-and everyone on TheKnot spends so much time deriding the wedding industry that it's actually laughable that there is an argument that registries are required for anything. 
    I'm done arguing this with you.  'Bye now.


    image
    Fact checker........
    YOU are the only one that used the word "requirement".  
    Swearing does not reinforce your argument.
    Duplication DOES become the business of every guest when all three grills are open at the same shower.  
     image
    NYCMercedes
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited August 2013
    mobkaz said:
    Jen4948 said:
    mobkaz said:
    Jen4948 said:
    itzMS said:

    It still makes zero sense to me that you would rather potentially gift someone something they already have or that could be a repeat of another gift at the shower (i.e. my above example of 3 George Foreman grills at one shower) versus something they wanted, in their taste/style, from a registry.

    I guess we will agree to disagree.

    We will agree to disagree that a registry is necessary to prevent this from happening, rather than just asking the bride or groom, or that a registry is required for a shower.  Showers took place for centuries before registries were conceived of.  And the "modern day and age" argument just doesn't fly.  I find it to be bullshit generated by the wedding industry and everything that regularly gets denounced on TheKnot.




    I'm pretty sure that a registry is exactly what prevents the duplication of purchased gifts.  It is also a guarantee that what you purchase is what a bride will want, since she created the registry.  Are you seriously suggesting that guests invited to a shower actually CALL THE BRIDE OR GROOM and ask them for gift suggestions??  How is that not awkward? 

    Yes, I am.  I assume the shower isn't a surprise?  And if it is, you know something?  Whether or not there is duplication really is no one's business but the couple's and the store's.  They can thank the guest for the gift graciously, return it or give it away, and that's that if they don't want to keep the gift for any fucking reason. 

    Look, you are never going to convince me that registries are required in any way, shape, or form by etiquette, then, now, or in the future.   There is no fucking requirement that couples have to do pre-selections of gifts just in case someone wants to throw them a shower or give gifts for their wedding.  I find the whole argument to be bullshit generated by the wedding industry-and everyone on TheKnot spends so much time deriding the wedding industry that it's actually laughable that there is an argument that registries are required for anything. 
    I'm done arguing this with you.  'Bye now.


    image
    Fact checker........
    YOU are the only one that used the word "requirement".  
    Swearing does not reinforce your argument.
    Duplication DOES become the business of every guest when all three grills are open at the same shower.  
     image
    Snide GIFs do not impress me.  They certainly will do nothing to convince me that the argument you are trying to make is correct.
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