Hey everyone. I am by no means a girly-girl. I dread having a bridal shower thrown because they're boring, too girly, and full of gifts I'm never going to use. (Me and my fiance live together and already have what we need.) Considering that "greenback" bridal showers are very poor taste, I've been considering the option of a Jack&Jill. My fiance is dead-set against that, because then he said it's improper etiquette for him to have a stag thrown, (which he really wants) because you'd be asking people to fork up money for both parties. I've heard mixed reviews on what people actually make for a Jack&Jill; my cousin and his (now wife) had one in July and made out like bandits with $4,000; whereas a couple that my fiance knows made off with only $60. He says that if he has a stag party, he's be "guaranteed at least $1,000"; but we cannot have both a J&J AND stag. What do you all think? He's dead-set against a Jack&Jill, and I'm dead-set against having a bridal shower. Please, any help would be appreciated! (We're getting married May 31, 2014.)
Re: Pre-Wedding Etiquette
Any help? Ok. Don't do either. It is your responsibility to pay for your own wedding. Don't ever ask anyone for money. It's rude.
If someone offers to throw you a bridal shower, just decline. You can not throw pre-wedding parties for yourselves, and you can't charge admission to them. If you want money, don't register for anything. Most people will give you cash.
Christ almighty.
I don't know anyone who has done what you're considering.
What you could do is either decline any showers offered, or if someone offers you could accept a couples' shower. This would be about gifts, not money, so decline if you don't plan on registering. I'd encourage your FI to have a bachelor party instead of a stag, IF someone offers to throw him a party.
FYI, in the 860/413 area code, these are rather commonplace.
But to each their own.
I know where you all stand here.
Thanks for your opinions.
Bridal showers don't have to be girly and there are tons of ways to tailor it to your personality. Please consider doing that before a J&J.
(Also, remember that it's against etiquette to plan your own parties, so someone else should be taking charge in that aspect.)
But I still really super encourage you not to look at these parties as a way to rake in the dough. There's a 99% chance you'll get lots of cash as gifts anyway. Register for some stuff, have the shower (your FI can attend if he doesn't want a separate party), let your friends know to keep it non-girly, and just go with the flow.
:He says that if he has a stag party, he's be "guaranteed at least $1,000"; <-- one of the most tacky things I have seen written on any of the boards...
No, that's not appropriate either. You seem to be rather clueless about appropriate wedding behavior; I suggest Miss Manners' Guide to a Surprisingly Dignified Wedding.