Moms and Maids

Gifts n such

So, I purchased jewelry for all of the girls. I know your "traditionally" supposed to buy the MOH something special. But one of my BM as almost taken place of my MOH because she really hasn't done anything. Would it be weird if I got something extra for her and not the MOH?

Also, whats a good gift for mothers, mine and his? Did you buy something for the dads as well?
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Re: Gifts n such

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited September 2013
    1. I realize the bridal websites and magazines advertise bm gifts such as - matching necklaces, monogrammed tote bags, martini glasses, flasks etc.....but generally those items are a waste of money. Buy something that each girl will actually use after your wedding, even if it's a gift card. The gifts should be roughly of the same monetary value and not ranked according to who did how much for you. If one of your friends went out of her way to do extra stuff for you, you may buy her a extra gift, but give it to her privately, not in front of the others. I think a nice lunch or dinner out, after the wedding, would be a nice way to thank her. Ditto allispain 's sentiment. Your MOH and bms only obligations were to buy the dress and show up on time for the ceremony. If they have done anything beyond that, they went above and beyond the call of duty. 

    2. I'm a recent MOB. I didn't want or expect a gift from my daughter and SIL, other than a wedding picture. I know it's become common to buy gift for everyone, but that's an idea promoted by the wedding industry, rather than by etiquette. If you choose to buy gifts for the moms, then you should also buy gifts for the dads. But truly, I don't know a parent that wouldn't be happy to receive a letter from their son on daughter, thanking them for being great parents (if that's the case) or thanking them for helping with the wedding and maybe mentioning a favorite childhood memory or two. 


                       
    gailpete
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    @mariepoppy gave perfect advice. All this MOB wants is a Thank you letter from the kids.
  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    nmm5137 said:
    So, I purchased jewelry for all of the girls. I know your "traditionally" supposed to buy the MOH something special. But one of my BM as almost taken place of my MOH because she really hasn't done anything. Would it be weird if I got something extra for her and not the MOH?

    Also, whats a good gift for mothers, mine and his? Did you buy something for the dads as well?
    I'm confused.  Do you mean that you want to make one of your BMs your MOH instead of your current MOH?  Or are you under the misconception that your MOH is supposed to be your co-wedding planner/slave throughout your engagement because "you're the bride and it's *your* day"?
    image
    Blue_Bird
  • I got all of my BMs NWR gifts in the same price range (and jewelry is fine for this as long as it is to their tastes and not to wear at the wedding). My MOH did host a shower for me and I know she put a lot of time in, so I thanked her for that with a hostess gift (a gift card to her favorite restaurant). I'd suggest a similar approach if your BM hosted any parties for you; keep all "official" BM gifts in the same price range and don't single anybody out, because parties and extra help are all optional.
  • I did not expect a gift from my daughter and son-in-law at all.  That said, they did give me a lovely picture frame that I will cherish forever.
    MairePoppy
  • I agree with Xstatic. I got everyone the same gift, but got my MOH and another bridesmaid thank you gift cards after they hosted a couples shower for us.
  • I also agree (i'm a 2x MOG) with MariePoppy on both points.  One son/daughter-in-law gave us a picture book frame with an opening on one side and a poem about parents on the other side, and the other son/daughter-in-law gave us a digita photo frame where they had loaded pictures of the two of them with us (mom/dad) at different occasions in the months before the wedding  Their Dad and I wanted/expected nothing.  As a parent your feelings are so hugh that day...  Sigh :-)  Someone mentioned a thank you note with a special memory.  That would be lovely and something a Mom and Dad would treasure. 
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