Cocktail hour at different location

Abbyjensen

Is there ettiquette regarding cocktail hour being at a different location than both the reception and the ceremony? If so, what is the ettiquette regarding invites?

I recieved a wedding invite that had the typical ceremony invite, with an insert for the reception, and a separate insert for the cocktail hour. I sort of felt like the were a lot of inserts in the invite. The cocktail hour location is next to the church- people still have to drive, but it's right there.

Ceremony is at 2, cocktail hour at 3, reception at 4. The set up doesn't bother me personally, but I can see why it might feel complicated.

cruffino

It does sound a little odd, but since it's right near the church and seemingly no gap, it wouldn't bother me.

WonderRed

The thing that jumps out at me, that I don't like, is that the guests are going to cocktail hour,where they will presumably be served alcoholic drinks, and then they have to drive to another location.   I don't know about other people's cocktail hours but ours is when the booze starts flowing and I would want my guests at their final destination before they start drinking for  both their own safety and my own liability.  Are they providing transportation from the cocktail hour to the reception?

jessicabessica

I agree with @WonderRed.  If there is alcohol served at the cocktail hour (which I assume there is if the insert called it a cocktail hour rather than a social hour or something), this is a terrible idea.  Many guests are drinking on an empty stomach as they wait for apps to come around.  Etiquette-wise, I don't think it's great to have guests having to go to more than 2 locations, but the big problem I see is the safety issue.  

MairePoppy

It's possible the church wouldn't allow a wedding later than 2 p.m. and the reception venue wouldn't allow the guests in until 4 p.m. In that case they had to fill in the gap, somehow. Adults should be a responsible for their own drinking/driving behavior.I don' think this is a big faux pas, as long as soft drinks are offered along with the cocktails.

grumbledore

MairePoppy said:

It's possible the church wouldn't allow a wedding later than 2 p.m. and the reception venue wouldn't allow the guests in until 4 p.m. In that case they had to fill in the gap, somehow. Adults should be a responsible for their own drinking/driving behavior.I don' think this is a big faux pas, as long as soft drinks are offered along with the cocktails.

I agree with this.  I think it's inconvenient to have more than 2 locations, but I don't think it's necessarily rude.  I would hope there's a good bit of food to snack on at the cocktail hour so people don't get tipsy before they get to the reception since they have to travel.  Personally, I would either wait to drink until I got to the reception, or make sure someone else was driving from the cocktails hour to the reception.

Dreamergirl8812

MairePoppy said:

It's possible the church wouldn't allow a wedding later than 2 p.m. and the reception venue wouldn't allow the guests in until 4 p.m. In that case they had to fill in the gap, somehow. Adults should be a responsible for their own drinking/driving behavior.I don' think this is a big faux pas, as long as soft drinks are offered along with the cocktails.

If so, OP needs to find a new reception venue. That is ridiculous.

And adults should not be encouraged to drink and drive. Period.

WonderRed

MairePoppy said:

It's possible the church wouldn't allow a wedding later than 2 p.m. and the reception venue wouldn't allow the guests in until 4 p.m. In that case they had to fill in the gap, somehow. Adults should be a responsible for their own drinking/driving behavior.I don' think this is a big faux pas, as long as soft drinks are offered along with the cocktails.

It's not a faux pas or against any etiquitte, but it is bad judgement on the host's part.  People get stupid at weddings and guests are going to, presumably, be offered alcohol (ie encouraged to drink) by the host when the host knows they will then be getting in their cars to drive somewhere else.  If someone does drink, drive, and cause an accident, in most states, the host of this event can be held legally responsible for any accident, damages, etc  under these specific circumstances.   It would just be better advised to not serve alcohol until the guests are at one location.

Abbyjensen

Thanks for the thoughts!

I hadn't even thought of the drinking and driving thing. Adults are responsible for their alcohol consumption. If you don't plan on driving home at the end of the night, chances are you've already arranged a designated driver for yourself, and could ride with them from the cocktail hour to the reception. 

I'm just hoping that there is (enough) food at the cocktail hour!

MairePoppy

Dreamergirl8812 said:

MairePoppy said:

It's possible the church wouldn't allow a wedding later than 2 p.m. and the reception venue wouldn't allow the guests in until 4 p.m. In that case they had to fill in the gap, somehow. Adults should be a responsible for their own drinking/driving behavior.I don' think this is a big faux pas, as long as soft drinks are offered along with the cocktails.

If so, OP needs to find a new reception venue. That is ridiculous.

And adults should not be encouraged to drink and drive. Period.

A two hour gap isn't ideal, but it's not outrageous as long as the guests are hosted in some way. They should have access to rest rooms, a place to relax and refreshments. Most adults can have a cocktail or glass of wine and drive after that. Would you also say that no one should be encouraged to drink, by having an open bar for example, at the reception because they will have to drive home? 

ETA  it's not even a 2 hour gap because the ceremony starts at 2. So subtract 30 to 60 minutes for that.