Who do you have hand out programs or make sure people sign the book?

marriedlady1212

So I keep seeing how horrible it is to give people you trust the horrible JOB of handing out programs or have people sign the guest book. I have to have someone do it. Do I hire someone, since it's so horrifying to have a family member do it?

KeptInStitches

You don't have to have someone do it. Programs can be left on people's seats or in a basket at the back of the venue. The guest book can be put out on a pretty table in plain sight.

msuprincess04

The only reason it's "horrifying" is because when I get invited to a party, I don't want to spend half of it sitting in a chair staying "please sign here." A paper sign could do that just as well. I would hope you want your guests to enjoy the party, and not have to spend hours doing this either. The programs, are a similar job.

While I'd still advise against a "guest book attendant" an option for giving out programs may be a young child who wants to be involved and asked for something to do. That way, they can feel improtant, but if they don't feel like doing it anymore, and quit mid-way into the job, you can still have them in an open place for peopel to grab as they go by.

marriedlady1212

I am having a 12 year old nice and a 16 year old cousin do the programs. I think they are happy to be given a "job" and to be included in some way. I want to give them gifts as well. I totally ok leaving the guest book (which is actually a family tree to be signed) alone, but I want to make sure everyone signs it. I would hate for people to come and not be on that tree, which will be hung in our home.

doeydo

If at the entrance to the reception, there is a table with a guestbook and a pen on it, maybe even a sign that says "Please sign out guest book" I am sure your guests can figure it out.  As for the programs, you can either have them on a table at the entrance to the church (or whatever) perhaps with a sign saying "Please take one" or have a program already on each seat for the guests to pick u when they sit down.  It's really not that hard.

Jen4948

I'd just put these items on tables where people can pick up the program and sign the guest book and let it go at that.

People really don't enjoy being asked to do this by way of "being involved" in the wedding-they see it as an unnecessary chore.  I wouldn't stick them with it.  Just let them involve themselves as guests if they are not bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, ring bearers, ushers, or readers.

As for making sure everyone signs the guest book, there are going to probably be people who will for whatever reason fail to do this.  They might not see the guest book, they might be in a hurry, they might not want to sign.  Don't take the absence of their names personally.

Maggie0829

Jen4948 said:

I'd just put these items on tables where people can pick up the program and sign the guest book and let it go at that.

People really don't enjoy being asked to do this by way of "being involved" in the wedding-they see it as an unnecessary chore.  I wouldn't stick them with it.  Just let them involve themselves as guests if they are not bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, ring bearers, ushers, or readers.

As for making sure everyone signs the guest book, there are going to probably be people who will for whatever reason fail to do this.  They might not see the guest book, they might be in a hurry, they might not want to sign.  Don't take the absence of their names personally.

I rarely sign the guest book.  I tend to put my stuff down at the table, then go to the bar for a drink, then grab some apps and after all that I have forgotten about the guest book (or whatever is there to sign).  And me not signing it certainly isn't a slight to you and your FI it is just that it is not at the top of my list of things to do at a wedding so it tends to be forgotten.

itzMS

krystinp3 said:

I am having a 12 year old nice and a 16 year old cousin do the programs. I think they are happy to be given a "job" and to be included in some way. I want to give them gifts as well. I totally ok leaving the guest book (which is actually a family tree to be signed) alone, but I want to make sure everyone signs it. I would hate for people to come and not be on that tree, which will be hung in our home.

Wait...what?

Your friends aren't part of your family tree. Are you not inviting anyone besides relatives to your wedding?

Why don't you and your FI walk around with the "family tree" when you do table visits during your reception?

marriedlady1212

I am using the tree in the picture I attached. Each person signs a leaf. It's not necessarily a family tree, but I don't know how else to refer to it as.

marriedlady1212

Friends and family are invited and I would like for all of them to sign it. We have invited about 200 people. I think it would take us all night to walk around with it. I think I am just going to have to trust the guests to sign it on their own.

itzMS

Yeah, you definitely won't notice. And if someone comes over to your home in the future and says "I want to sign a leaf!" You can let them. NBD.

ifeelgoodifeelgreatifeelwonderful

Programs I have usually seen just sitting in the back in a basket or sometimes when the groomsmen/usher walks you to your seat they will make sure you get a program.

For the guest book...I usually forget to sign these. I have never seen anyone reminding people, it's usually just out in the open. I always see it when I go into the reception and then I just forget to go back to it, oops. Perhaps if you have a wedding coordinator they could remind people they see mingling near the guest book, but I wouldn't have anyone go around announcing it or directing people to it.

marriedlady1212

YES! That's what I want! Sign the tree, you are allowed in!

emmyg65

Just for some perspective: We had a Quaker wedding with a Quaker marriage certificate. This document is extremely important to the Quaker tradition. The bride and groom sign it to cement their marriage, and all the guests sign it as witnesses and to affirm their support for the marriage. So it's a pretty big deal. Most people signed it immediately after the ceremony, but we didn't have someone standing there to tell them to do it. We didn't remind them later. And I don't think every person there signed it. But that's okay. Not everyone will sign your guest book either. It's really not an issue. Just leave it out somewhere obvious.

NavyBlue143

You really don't need to tell people to take a program or sign a book. Those who choose to will, those who don't wanna won't. Unless there is a scavenger hunt and map required to find them, your guests will figure it out.

Dreamergirl8812

I think the obvious thing to do is just get someone you don't like to do it

marriedlady1212

There is that groomsman's girlfriend who I don't care for.

PrettyGirlLost

krystinp3 said:

So I keep seeing how horrible it is to give people you trust the horrible JOB of handing out programs or have people sign the guest book. I have to have someone do it. Do I hire someone, since it's so horrifying to have a family member do it?

Why?  Why do you HAVE to have someone make sure people sign the guestbook?  Everyone knows what a guestbook is, and they will sign it if they want to.

ETA: Ok, I just caught up with all the other posts.  The tree idea, while cute, is probably not practical for the very reason other PPs have mentioned- some people will forget to sign the leaves and others may just choose not to entirely.  Go for it if you wish, but please don't assign someone to pester guests into signing the leaves. .. you will just end up annoying people.

Same thing with ceremony programs. . . for the most part people don't really care who everyone is in your wedding party, nor who is doing this reading or that.  If you have programs either leave them on the seats or in a basket, and if guests want a program, they can take one.

AddieCake

I am not at all sad or concerned if anyone missed signing our river rocks. It affects my life in absolutely zero way. 

RAKeller

While I agree that the "guestbook attendant" would be an annoying, and unnecessary, job to ask someone to do, I don't really see how asking a friend or relative to hand out programs at the ceremony is so horrible? I have some close friends who will not be bridesmaids, but I wanted to include them if I could and I did need someone to hand out programs so 2 close friends who live in town are doing it and I'm pretty sure they are happy to help. I chose not to ask 2 other close friends to be guestbook attendants because I did believe that was a job no one would want to do and they'd rather just enjoy themselves. Who wants to spend the party being in charge of getting people to sign something? But the programs pre-ceremony will literally take 20 min and then it's done and these 2 girls would have most likely been with us at the church early anyway so I think it's completely fine. The church has pews so "leaving them on the seat" isn't an option either because I don't know how many people will sit on each pew? Some people on these message boards are so opinionated and act like asking a close friend to help you hand out programs is the biggest insult in the world, but the right friend might be happy to help and happy to be included. You know your friends best and will know whether it's something they would want to do.

MobKaz

RAKeller said:

While I agree that the "guestbook attendant" would be an annoying, and unnecessary, job to ask someone to do, I don't really see how asking a friend or relative to hand out programs at the ceremony is so horrible? I have some close friends who will not be bridesmaids, but I wanted to include them if I could and I did need someone to hand out programs so 2 close friends who live in town are doing it and I'm pretty sure they are happy to help. I chose not to ask 2 other close friends to be guestbook attendants because I did believe that was a job no one would want to do and they'd rather just enjoy themselves. Who wants to spend the party being in charge of getting people to sign something? But the programs pre-ceremony will literally take 20 min and then it's done and these 2 girls would have most likely been with us at the church early anyway so I think it's completely fine. The church has pews so "leaving them on the seat" isn't an option either because I don't know how many people will sit on each pew? Some people on these message boards are so opinionated and act like asking a close friend to help you hand out programs is the biggest insult in the world, but the right friend might be happy to help and happy to be included. You know your friends best and will know whether it's something they would want to do.

These message boards often ask opinion based questions, so, yes, posters will be opinionated.  This question is opinion based.

You have 4 close friends.  They are NOT close enough to be bridesmaids, but you want to include them.  But now you are only including 2 of the 4 friends.  Won't that hurt the feelings of the other 2 friends?  Why not have all 4 hand out programs if the job is so necessary and such an honor?  You really don't need people to pass out programs.....or bubbles......or anything else that can be found in a basket for people to reach in and take out themselves.

You're "pretty sure" they are happy to help.  The problem with asking friends to help is that they will typically be too polite to tell you that they really would prefer not to do a meaningless and unnecessary job.  Why would they need to be at the church early anyway?  If they are guests, they need only arrive to the ceremony in a timely manner.

MobKaz

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