Meals to be served at an eveving wedding

orwhatuwill

We're doing a NYE wedding- Ceremony at 7, cocktail hour 7:30-8:30, dinner directly after. We'll have dessert later. We're doing plated.

aurorajanette

scribe95 said:

If the wedding is at 8 then the meal wouldn't come till 8:30 or 9? I would be way past dinner at that point. I would have eaten before I came and just expected some awesome appetizers and drinks.

If it's a Friday though, I think dinner should be served. If I'm going to a Friday wedding, I typically run out of work, change quickly at home, and then still have to drive to the venue. I probably wouldn't have time to eat before getting to the wedding. I think she should serve dinner, or at least do apps and a pasta station or something so that guests who had to work can still get to eat something substantial.

climbingsingle

I agree that you should serve a dinner. I'd talk to your caterer/venue and see what they offer. 

orwhatuwill

We used our wedding website to explain the timing of dinner, with the suggestion to have a later lunch or a snack if they feel they may be peckish with that timeframe. Our RSVP cards communicated the meal choices, making it clear that there would be a full dinner. We looked into appetizers, and felt the plated would be a better option for our guests.

cowgirl8238

orwhatuwill said:

We used our wedding website to explain the timing of dinner, with the suggestion to have a later lunch or a snack if they feel they may be peckish with that timeframe. Our RSVP cards communicated the meal choices, making it clear that there would be a full dinner. We looked into appetizers, and felt the plated would be a better option for our guests.

Sounds like you figured at all out!  I'm glad

grumbledore

scribe95 said:

For years on this website we have told women if they don't want to or can't afford to serve dinner then pick a non mealtime. We said have the ceremony at 8 p.m. or later, or in the afternoon. Now it seems like a bunch of people are reversing that to say she should still serve a meal at 9 oclock. I think it's fine to say "cocktail reception to follow" on the invite so people know to pick something quick up.

So much this.  While I understand the "it's a Friday, I'll have to race there from work" thing, I'd grab a Whopper Jr. on my way if I was flying after work for an 8 PM ceremony.

Viczaesar

grumbledore said:

scribe95 said:

For years on this website we have told women if they don't want to or can't afford to serve dinner then pick a non mealtime. We said have the ceremony at 8 p.m. or later, or in the afternoon. Now it seems like a bunch of people are reversing that to say she should still serve a meal at 9 oclock. I think it's fine to say "cocktail reception to follow" on the invite so people know to pick something quick up.

So much this.  While I understand the "it's a Friday, I'll have to race there from work" thing, I'd grab a Whopper Jr. on my way if I was flying after work for an 8 PM ceremony.

I'm not saying she has to serve a meal, I'm saying that I think she ought to serve a meal, since she's changing the day of the ceremony from Saturday to Friday and since a Friday evening wedding makes it more difficult for guests to eat dinner before the wedding and still have time to get ready and drive to the wedding if they work until 5 or 6 pm.

Maggie0829

Viczaesar said:

grumbledore said:

scribe95 said:

For years on this website we have told women if they don't want to or can't afford to serve dinner then pick a non mealtime. We said have the ceremony at 8 p.m. or later, or in the afternoon. Now it seems like a bunch of people are reversing that to say she should still serve a meal at 9 oclock. I think it's fine to say "cocktail reception to follow" on the invite so people know to pick something quick up.

So much this.  While I understand the "it's a Friday, I'll have to race there from work" thing, I'd grab a Whopper Jr. on my way if I was flying after work for an 8 PM ceremony.

I'm not saying she has to serve a meal, I'm saying that I think she ought to serve a meal, since she's changing the day of the ceremony from Saturday to Friday and since a Friday evening wedding makes it more difficult for guests to eat dinner before the wedding and still have time to get ready and drive to the wedding if they work until 5 or 6 pm.

This is how I feel as well.  I think it would be a great idea but if she did decide to go the apps/dessert route then that would be fine as well and perfectly within etiquette standards.

southernbelle0915

scribe95 said:

For years on this website we have told women if they don't want to or can't afford to serve dinner then pick a non mealtime. We said have the ceremony at 8 p.m. or later, or in the afternoon. Now it seems like a bunch of people are reversing that to say she should still serve a meal at 9 oclock. I think it's fine to say "cocktail reception to follow" on the invite so people know to pick something quick up.

I agree with this. I would never expect dinner at a wedding that started at 8pm. Even if it was on a Friday (and I dislike Friday weddings in general).

Tyragnew1

southernbelle0915 said:

scribe95 said:

For years on this website we have told women if they don't want to or can't afford to serve dinner then pick a non mealtime. We said have the ceremony at 8 p.m. or later, or in the afternoon. Now it seems like a bunch of people are reversing that to say she should still serve a meal at 9 oclock. I think it's fine to say "cocktail reception to follow" on the invite so people know to pick something quick up. Sounds great thank you!

I agree with this. I would never expect dinner at a wedding that started at 8pm. Even if it was on a Friday (and I dislike Friday weddings in general). What day did you get married?

JeeGooDowster

When and where is the ceremony taking place? If everything starts at 8pm (including the ceremony), then I would go with a buffet/station dinner and then dessert.

ei34

Where is your wedding?  I'm from the NYC/Long Island area, and the weddings are all the same: cocktail hour ends at 8pm and then the reception starts.  Pasta course, salad, then the actual dinner (choice of meat with potatoes and veggies usually lol), then dessert are all served, with dancing in between, from 8pm- midnight.  It's later than I usually care to eat but it's what expected at a wedding, at least in my area.  I assume it could be different in another state...the only out-of-state weddings I've attended were in San Francisco and Washington DC, and they were very similar to NYC.

southernbelle0915

Tyragnew1 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

scribe95 said:

For years on this website we have told women if they don't want to or can't afford to serve dinner then pick a non mealtime. We said have the ceremony at 8 p.m. or later, or in the afternoon. Now it seems like a bunch of people are reversing that to say she should still serve a meal at 9 oclock. I think it's fine to say "cocktail reception to follow" on the invite so people know to pick something quick up. Sounds great thank you!

I agree with this. I would never expect dinner at a wedding that started at 8pm. Even if it was on a Friday (and I dislike Friday weddings in general). 

What day did you get married?

I got married on a Saturday.