Hi ladies,
My husband and I got married outside of the country with our family and friends back in August. Now we are back in our city and we planned a mini reception with our friends here. The reception is not intended to be a second wedding, it is more a "our first real introduction as husband and wife".
We planned the reception to start at 6:30PM and end at 1:00AM. It will be very informal: stand-up buffet dinner (but with starter, entree, desert and 2 drinks for free per person; then it will be cash bar).
Our friends come from different places (University, friends-of-friends, work, French community etc...) so they all dont know one another.
I'm getting stressed out about tomorrow:
- how can we get people talking to one another and not only the ones they know
- how to have people mingled instead of staying on each side of the room?
- how can we get people entertained? I dont want people to get bored at this party. Games or not?
- how are we going to introduce the time to dance?
- since no one came to our wedding, do we need to get them a wedding favour to remind them of the day of our real wedding?
Thanks ladies!!!!
Mary L.
Re: Return of Groom & Bride - Mini reception tomorrow. Really need help!
2. Same as 1. It's just not something you can do anyone about.
3. Just let them talk and mingle amongst themselves as they see fit. You don't need games or ice-breakers (and many people don't like them anyway).
4. Have whoever is acting as DJ start playing dance music.
5. No, you don't need to do this.
I did not want to prepare anything because it's actually just a simple party. That's why I didnt want to have chairs around (too formal for this type of reception).
What would be the issue with the cash bar? They will eat on standing tables.
First, every butt needs a place to sit. That is a basic of any type of hosting. Informality is not an excuse for this.
Second, cash bars are totally not appropriate at a hosted event. If you don't want to pay for liquor, then don't provide it-even if your guests want it. There's a great sticky about this in the Etiquette folder. Your guests should never be expected to open their wallets.
As for the fact that it is a standing party, we are considering this as a cocktail. During our wedding cocktail hours, there was no seat and we havent heard any complains about that though ... now you get me thinking about people taking it the wrong way.
As for the cash bar, we listened to what our friends said: don't bother paying for us, you guys already spent a lot on your wedding. So I assume that we already nice enough to give 2 free drinks to people. Back in France, I would have never done a cash bar as it's not polite at all to invite people and let them pay for their drinks. However back in Canada (where we live), it seems that people don't mind and if the venue offered it, well it means that people take that option too.
This reception could have been done at our place, it's just that I didnt want to have to do the cleaning after and it's a bit bigger over there.
I really did not think that all of my questions were going to be answered in this way I assume that we took an extra time and effort to have a little gathering with our friends and that they should not expect this to be a second wedding or anything close to it.
I can't believe you're expecting people to stand up to eat and drink or sit at a chair off to the side with their plate on their lap. I just can't....
Since when does a table make something formal? What do you eat dinner on at home?
So you know full well that it's rude, and you're doing it anyway? These are your friends. You should want to treat them better than that. If you care so little for them that you're ok with being rude, you shouldn't be inviting them to a party at all.