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Living with mom and dad after the wedding?

My fiance and I want a house instead of renting an apartment. We dont have a down payment so we are living with my parents until we can get a house. Is anyone else in this situation???
RaineH
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Re: Living with mom and dad after the wedding?

  • smalfrie19smalfrie19 Home of SB XLVIII Champs member
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    I would NEVER! I would rather live in an apartment and rent and take longer to save up then live with either of our parents! I like having my own home..
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    doeydomelbelleup
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
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    FI and I are living with his parents, and will probably continue to live with them for a few years after the wedding. We're in the mother-in-law suite, so we have plenty of space. The plan is to pay of my student loan debt (yay art school) and then save money to build our own house. FI does pay his parents rent though. 
    I get along with both of his parents, but like I said, we have a ton of space. I normally don't even see them through the week. I am looking forward to having our own space though, so I can have a non-container garden and other house stuff.
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  • I'm not even living with my FI. I am living with my parents and he is living with his parents. I don't really like it, but it saves SO MUCH MONEY. So we are going to try to buy a house in the next few months (crossing fingers). But I feel your pain...
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    Gisellerinachibiyui
  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl The Cold North member
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    We briefly did, for about 2 months though it was before we were married, after we had lived together a year and a half or so.  We were engaged at the time.  My house sold quick, but our new house was delayed for 2 months, finished but with no power meter.  We moved in with my parents while waiting for our new house to get a meter.  It kind of sucked, but they have a nice basement, so we had our own space.  I think it was easier since it was temporary
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  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains member
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    All I can think of is that old Free Credit Report commercial where they're living in her parents' basement because they have bad credit. Not say you have bad credit, saying it would take something of that magnitude to live with my parents again after I got married. Or natural disaster, I guess.
    doeydogrumbledoremelbelleup
  • If you're paying rent to his parents, what's the difference between paying them and renting an apartment?  Unless you are living with them for free or significantly below market rate rent.  I fully believe that adults who are old enough to get married are old enough to pay their own rent and save their own money, but each to their own.  I can't imagine being dependent on my parents for anything-they've paid for one thing since I graduated college (a car accident during my first year of grad school when I was 22, though I did offer to pay them back), and still managed to save enough for a down payment on a DC city condo.  It's hard, but worth the sacrifice (though I do consider living with in-laws a sacrifice, it would be so hard)!
    doeydomelbelleup
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
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    Grabows14 said:
    I'm not even living with my FI. I am living with my parents and he is living with his parents. I don't really like it, but it saves SO MUCH MONEY. So we are going to try to buy a house in the next few months (crossing fingers). But I feel your pain...
    My daughter and her FI did this for a time.  She graduated a year ahead of him, so it made sense the first year for her to stay at home.  After he graduated, he also stayed at home one year to recoup some money.  They actually had a nice routine since our home was in the middle of his workplace and his folks home.  From work, he would drive to our house for dinner and they would spend the evening grading their respective papers and working on lesson plans.  Sometimes even after she would go to bed he would stay to finish up his work before going home.  He practically lived at our house.  In the winter months he would often stay over to avoid long drives home on bad roads.  The following Fall they had saved enough money to buy their first home.  They were able to move in and adjust almost another year prior to their wedding.

    It worked for them and for us.  We are all easy going and get along well.  


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  • I can not imagine living with anyone other than DH.   I was out of my parent's house at 18 and have never lived with anyone since then.  I value my privacy way too much to compromise it.

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  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
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    If you're paying rent to his parents, what's the difference between paying them and renting an apartment?  Unless you are living with them for free or significantly below market rate rent.  I fully believe that adults who are old enough to get married are old enough to pay their own rent and save their own money, but each to their own.  I can't imagine being dependent on my parents for anything-they've paid for one thing since I graduated college (a car accident during my first year of grad school when I was 22, though I did offer to pay them back), and still managed to save enough for a down payment on a DC city condo.  It's hard, but worth the sacrifice (though I do consider living with in-laws a sacrifice, it would be so hard)!

    Yes, it is below market value, and it helps them out with the added expense of us being there. (Not that they need it)
    I sure as hell didn't plan to live with my in-laws once we were married, but I also didn't plan to graduate at the height of the recession. Sometimes life throws a wrench into our plans.

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
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    Nope. I would have hated that. Plus, our parents live in different states than we do. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    doeydomelbelleup
  • actually we are living with my parents after the wedding. we have a combined total of 60,000 in student loans. I went from full time to part time not too long ago. my fiance got a better paying job not to long ago. renting in my mind is a waste of money
  • my parents aren't asking us to pay for rent
  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
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    Ha, no.  My FI and I have an apartment together.  We plan on saving for a down payment and getting a house eventually, but would never want to live with either of our sets of parents even though we love them.
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  • Yea, I don't see the point of this. I hated living with my mom after university (to save money) so there's no way in hell I would live with her or my father as a married woman. 
    BF and I live together now  in our own home and my mom lives right next door. That's close enough. 
    If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to live on your own. 
    doeydomelbelleup
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
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    I love my parents and would be happy living with them, but I would never do it with my husband.

    If we couldn't support ourselves, we would have no business being married.  We rented for a few years before we bought our house.  We could have lived with my parents and bought sooner, but we are adults and wanted to do it by ourselves, the same way we didn't ask our parents to pay our down payment.  
    doeydomelbelleupjenniferursMrsLillyG
  • jtayl962 said:
    actually we are living with my parents after the wedding. we have a combined total of 60,000 in student loans. I went from full time to part time not too long ago. my fiance got a better paying job not to long ago. renting in my mind is a waste of money
    Who is paying for your wedding?

  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
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    I love my parents and would be happy living with them, but I would never do it with my husband.

    If we couldn't support ourselves, we would have no business being married.  We rented for a few years before we bought our house.  We could have lived with my parents and bought sooner, but we are adults and wanted to do it by ourselves, the same way we didn't ask our parents to pay our down payment.  
    I agree.  I wouldn't want to marry my FI yet if I didn't feel like we could "stand on our own two feet".
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    melbelleup
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
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    jtayl962 said:
    actually we are living with my parents after the wedding. we have a combined total of 60,000 in student loans. I went from full time to part time not too long ago. my fiance got a better paying job not to long ago. renting in my mind is a waste of money
    But someone else paying your rent is okay?
    Yes. 1000X yes. Sure, renting may be a waste of money compared to paying a mortgage. But living with your parents because you don't want to support yourself is childish and ridiculous to me. I would be able to afford all sorts of things if I lived with my mother. She would be able to afford all sorts of things if she lived with her mother. That doesn't mean you should do it or that it's okay. Grow the eff up. I also agree with PPs who said that if you're not able to afford your own housing (whether it be rent or a mortgage) and are living with your parents, you're not ready to be married. 

    FI and I will have been in our apartment for probably 6-7 years before we'll have saved enough money to pay for our wedding and move across country (equal to what we would put down on a house if we were staying here). We'd have been able to do this in probably a year and a half if we were mooching off our parents but WE'RE ADULTS. We pay our own bills. 
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    grumbledore[Deleted User]melbelleup
  • Umm excuse me all of you. IT NOT LIKE I WANT TO LIVE WITH MY PARENTS FOREVER. IF I HAD IT MY WAY MY FIANCE AND I WOULD BE BUYING A HOUSE ALSO BUT SINCE THE ECONOMY SUCKS WE CANT AFFORD THAT. OKAY, I PAY MY BILLS EXCUSE ME.
  • I live in the philadelphia area. to rent an apartment it is about over a thousand a month plus bills plus food prices dont help. A morgage for a house in my area is the same as renting an apartment
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
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    edited September 2013
    jtayl962 said:
    I live in the philadelphia area. to rent an apartment it is about over a thousand a month plus bills plus food prices dont help. A morgage for a house in my area is the same as renting an apartment
    And your point is?  Are you saying that you are unable to financially support yourselves?  


    grumbledoreShesSoColddoeydoKeptInStitches
  • JoanE2012 said:


    jtayl962 said:

    I live in the philadelphia area. to rent an apartment it is about over a thousand a month plus bills plus food prices dont help. A morgage for a house in my area is the same as renting an apartment

    And your point is?  Are you saying that you are unable to financially support yourselves?  




    Seriously. Being an adult means taking care of yourself, not sponging off your parents. How the hell old are some of these PPs?

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    ShesSoColddoeydoKeptInStitchesmelbelleup
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
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    I pay over a grand a month in rent for a 1-bedroom apartment. Yes, it sucks. But yes, I pay it because I am an adult and we can't afford to buy a house right now. There are some months that we can't put very much into our savings. This is not my parents' problem. 

    Very few couples can afford to buy a house just starting out. I know my parents couldn't. But as adults, they supported themselves. 

    OP, do you have chores? A curfew? Does your mommy buy your groceries too? Does she pay for your BC? Or will she buy diapers if you have kids while still living in her house?

    This whole thing just blows my mind. 
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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
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    jtayl962 said:
    Umm excuse me all of you. IT NOT LIKE I WANT TO LIVE WITH MY PARENTS FOREVER. IF I HAD IT MY WAY MY FIANCE AND I WOULD BE BUYING A HOUSE ALSO BUT SINCE THE ECONOMY SUCKS WE CANT AFFORD THAT. OKAY, I PAY MY BILLS EXCUSE ME.
    Do you, really? 
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    doeydomelbelleup
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