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Speeches

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Re: Speeches

  • Realistically, 8 speeches is just too many.  And people will feel dumb when they realize that the topic of their speech was repeated twice already....

    With that being said, I actually went to a wedding that had 6 speeches which were wonderfully funny and really entertaining.  But that is just because of the people that were that.  And I don't think that is the norm.  
  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 your closet member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Sorry, Majelin, but my advice is going to be to cut out some of the speeches.

    If I were attending a wedding reception with 8 speakers, I'd be gone by the third speech-especially if it's full of inside jokes and references that I don't get.

    Nobody is going to enjoy that.

    If you can't handle getting advice not to do something, then don't post about it here.  We aren't going to soft-glove or validate bad ideas.
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I still dont understand why having a few speeches at the RD is not an option. 8 speeches isn't normal yet the OP is okay with that. Why not break tradition and have some at the RD? Toasts can be made even if its a casual RD at your parents house.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    KatWAG said:
    I still dont understand why having a few speeches at the RD is not an option. 8 speeches isn't normal yet the OP is okay with that. Why not break tradition and have some at the RD? Toasts can be made even if its a casual RD at your parents house.
    My FIL made a speech at our RD.  In fact at all the RDs that I have been to they have had one or two toasts/speeches made by parents or the bride and groom.  So having toasts/speeches at the RD is not unheard of or weird.

  • KatWAG said:
    I still dont understand why having a few speeches at the RD is not an option. 8 speeches isn't normal yet the OP is okay with that. Why not break tradition and have some at the RD? Toasts can be made even if its a casual RD at your parents house.
    My FIL made a speech at our RD.  In fact at all the RDs that I have been to they have had one or two toasts/speeches made by parents or the bride and groom.  So having toasts/speeches at the RD is not unheard of or weird.
    Same here. My ILs hosted the RD so they gave a welcome speech and a toast. Our BM and MOH gave their toasts at the RD. A few others who had offered also said a few words.

    We got so many compliments on structuring it this way versus having people sit through them at the wedding. People were happy to just be able to socialize and party at the wedding without having sit through "speeches".
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  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Majelin86 said:
    To answer the rehearsal dinner question - where I'm from people don't normally give speeches (or toasts as you guys call them) at the rehearsal dinner. Basically we go over the ceremony and then are having dinner at my fiancé's parents house, very casual, they're ordering some pizza for everyone. Basically people mingle and the wedding party kind of get to know each other a little better. Nobody gives speeches or anything like that. It would be odd for me to ask some people to say their speech at the rehearsal dinner and I think they'd feel hurt if I did that.

     OP said no one gives toasts at RDs where she is from, thus my comment.

    I agree that toasts at the RD are great. My FIL and a BM gave short remarks. It worked because they were able to speak and saving time at the reception. And since it was a much smaller group, it made my BM a bit more comfortable than speaking in front of 275 people.

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I lurked.. and I'd like to thank the ladies who gave me the idea to spread out some of the toasts/speeches (however you want to classify them as) to the RD, I never would of thought of that had I not read this post.  So, thank you, that is a great alternative!
    southernbelle0915
  • The speeches went over sooo well! The wedding party kept them short & they were SO hilarious! We got tons of compliments on the speeches specifically :)
  • Majelin86 said:

    The speeches went over sooo well! The wedding party kept them short & they were SO hilarious! We got tons of compliments on the speeches specifically :)

    Good for you? Apparently some of your guests are fans of amateur comedy hour, but I'm guessing at least a few were rolling their eyes at the eight people who toasted you. How long did these speeches take?
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
  • Majelin86Majelin86 member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited October 2013
  • The speeches went over sooo well! The wedding party kept them short & they were SO hilarious! We got tons of compliments on the speeches specifically :)

    Good for you? Apparently some of your guests are fans of amateur comedy hour, but I'm guessing at least a few were rolling their eyes at the eight people who toasted you. How long did these speeches take?

     

    Stuck in the box. Whoa, I wasn't saying that to be smug, I'm just happy it went so well! No need to be mean.

    The speeches took about 30mins.

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Majelin86 said:
    The speeches went over sooo well! The wedding party kept them short & they were SO hilarious! We got tons of compliments on the speeches specifically :)

    Good for you? Apparently some of your guests are fans of amateur comedy hour, but I'm guessing at least a few were rolling their eyes at the eight people who toasted you. How long did these speeches take?

     

    Stuck in the box. Whoa, I wasn't saying that to be smug, I'm just happy it went so well! No need to be mean.

    The speeches took about 30mins.

    30 minutes!?!  As a guest I would have wanted to rip my ears off.

    The speeches/toasts may have gone over well in your eyes, but I can guarantee that after the first 10 minutes your guests were rolling their eyes and muttering under their breath about how bored they were.

    But, since the wedding was all about you then all that matters is that you were happy (sarcasm).

    southernbelle0915
  • Majelin86 said:
    The speeches went over sooo well! The wedding party kept them short & they were SO hilarious! We got tons of compliments on the speeches specifically :)

    Good for you? Apparently some of your guests are fans of amateur comedy hour, but I'm guessing at least a few were rolling their eyes at the eight people who toasted you. How long did these speeches take?

     

    Stuck in the box. Whoa, I wasn't saying that to be smug, I'm just happy it went so well! No need to be mean.

    The speeches took about 30mins.

    30 minutes?!?!!?

    For any lurkers out there - this is WAY too long to make your guests sit through. Toasts (what the OP is referring to as "speeches") should take no more than 5-10 minutes - total, for everyone. It's rude to make your guests sit silently for this long.
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    image
  • Majelin86 said:
    The speeches went over sooo well! The wedding party kept them short & they were SO hilarious! We got tons of compliments on the speeches specifically :)

    Good for you? Apparently some of your guests are fans of amateur comedy hour, but I'm guessing at least a few were rolling their eyes at the eight people who toasted you. How long did these speeches take?

     

    Stuck in the box. Whoa, I wasn't saying that to be smug, I'm just happy it went so well! No need to be mean.

    The speeches took about 30mins.

    30 minutes!?!  As a guest I would have wanted to rip my ears off.

    The speeches/toasts may have gone over well in your eyes, but I can guarantee that after the first 10 minutes your guests were rolling their eyes and muttering under their breath about how bored they were.

    But, since the wedding was all about you then all that matters is that you were happy (sarcasm).

    Oh well, you're probably just mad because your 'advice' was wrong and the speeches actually went well. People on here can't just be happy for other people can they? I am happily married and the day went beautifully and that's all I care about :)
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Majelin86 said:
    Majelin86 said:
    The speeches went over sooo well! The wedding party kept them short & they were SO hilarious! We got tons of compliments on the speeches specifically :)

    Good for you? Apparently some of your guests are fans of amateur comedy hour, but I'm guessing at least a few were rolling their eyes at the eight people who toasted you. How long did these speeches take?

     

    Stuck in the box. Whoa, I wasn't saying that to be smug, I'm just happy it went so well! No need to be mean.

    The speeches took about 30mins.

    30 minutes!?!  As a guest I would have wanted to rip my ears off.

    The speeches/toasts may have gone over well in your eyes, but I can guarantee that after the first 10 minutes your guests were rolling their eyes and muttering under their breath about how bored they were.

    But, since the wedding was all about you then all that matters is that you were happy (sarcasm).

    Oh well, you're probably just mad because your 'advice' was wrong and the speeches actually went well. People on here can't just be happy for other people can they? I am happily married and the day went beautifully and that's all I care about :)
    Can I ask how you know they went well?  Did you poll each guest and make sure they answered truthfully?

    I have been to many weddings and I can tell you that I have lied to the bride and groom a number of times.  Told I bride that she looked gorgeous and her dress was beautiful.  She didn't and it wasn't.  Told another couple that their 3 song long dollar dance was so much fun.  It was the furthest thing from it.  And if I were a guest at your wedding I would have told you that your 30 minutes worth of toasts/speeches was so funny and heartfelt, when in reality I would have hated every minute of it and most likely talked crap to my H about it.

    Your guests will not tell you the truth about these things because they do not want to hurt your feelings.  We, who do not know you, have no problem telling you that your ideas suck and that 30 minutes for speeches/toasts probably bored the fuck out of your guests and no they did not find them amusing or fun.

    TheVirginiansashleyep
  • Sorry, 30 minutes of speeches sounds AWFUL!!! That's 30 minutes of having to whisper, feeling bad to get up to get a drink or go to the bathroom. 

    That feels like a lecture, not a wedding. 
    image
    TheVirginians
  • Majelin86 said:
    Majelin86 said:
    The speeches went over sooo well! The wedding party kept them short & they were SO hilarious! We got tons of compliments on the speeches specifically :)

    Good for you? Apparently some of your guests are fans of amateur comedy hour, but I'm guessing at least a few were rolling their eyes at the eight people who toasted you. How long did these speeches take?

     

    Stuck in the box. Whoa, I wasn't saying that to be smug, I'm just happy it went so well! No need to be mean.

    The speeches took about 30mins.

    30 minutes!?!  As a guest I would have wanted to rip my ears off.

    The speeches/toasts may have gone over well in your eyes, but I can guarantee that after the first 10 minutes your guests were rolling their eyes and muttering under their breath about how bored they were.

    But, since the wedding was all about you then all that matters is that you were happy (sarcasm).

    Oh well, you're probably just mad because your 'advice' was wrong and the speeches actually went well. People on here can't just be happy for other people can they? I am happily married and the day went beautifully and that's all I care about :)
    Can I ask how you know they went well?  Did you poll each guest and make sure they answered truthfully?

    I have been to many weddings and I can tell you that I have lied to the bride and groom a number of times.  Told I bride that she looked gorgeous and her dress was beautiful.  She didn't and it wasn't.  Told another couple that their 3 song long dollar dance was so much fun.  It was the furthest thing from it.  And if I were a guest at your wedding I would have told you that your 30 minutes worth of toasts/speeches was so funny and heartfelt, when in reality I would have hated every minute of it and most likely talked crap to my H about it.

    Your guests will not tell you the truth about these things because they do not want to hurt your feelings.  We, who do not know you, have no problem telling you that your ideas suck and that 30 minutes for speeches/toasts probably bored the fuck out of your guests and no they did not find them amusing or fun.


    You just assume the guests were lying when in actuality they could have enjoyed the speeches. Why would they specifically comment mostly on those if they didn't like them? Why not comment on something else such as the décor, the dress, the ceremony, etc etc etc... Why is it so hard to believe that speeches were actually funny and entertaining? We had a lot of fun people in our wedding party and knew that they wouldn't be boring.

    You're so bitter...

  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I agree with Maggie. I always comment on how funny/ witty/ heart felt/ etc the speeches were. Because they are important to the B&G. But sometimes they truly are mind numbing.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Majelin86 said:

    You just assume the guests were lying when in actuality they could have enjoyed the speeches. Why would they specifically comment mostly on those if they didn't like them? Why not comment on something else such as the décor, the dress, the ceremony, etc etc etc... Why is it so hard to believe that speeches were actually funny and entertaining? We had a lot of fun people in our wedding party and knew that they wouldn't be boring.

    You're so bitter...

    How the fuck am I bitter?  Because I don't agree with you?  Because I think 30 minutes worth of speeches is ridiculous?

    TheVirginians
  • Majelin86 said:
    Majelin86 said:
    The speeches went over sooo well! The wedding party kept them short & they were SO hilarious! We got tons of compliments on the speeches specifically :)

    Good for you? Apparently some of your guests are fans of amateur comedy hour, but I'm guessing at least a few were rolling their eyes at the eight people who toasted you. How long did these speeches take?

     

    Stuck in the box. Whoa, I wasn't saying that to be smug, I'm just happy it went so well! No need to be mean.

    The speeches took about 30mins.

    30 minutes!?!  As a guest I would have wanted to rip my ears off.

    The speeches/toasts may have gone over well in your eyes, but I can guarantee that after the first 10 minutes your guests were rolling their eyes and muttering under their breath about how bored they were.

    But, since the wedding was all about you then all that matters is that you were happy (sarcasm).
    Oh well, you're probably just mad because your 'advice' was wrong and the speeches actually went well. People on here can't just be happy for other people can they? I am happily married and the day went beautifully and that's all I care about :)
    Sorry, but no one here is spiteful enough to care about this. The fact is that 30 minutes is too long to make guests sit there while people talk about you. It's pretty AW and our advice is as much for you as it is for lurkers. As much as you'd probably like to think so, no one really gives a shit if you think your "speeches" were a success. Of course you want to think that.

    The longest I've ever sat through speeches was probably 20-25 minutes. Anyone who's been a guest at a wedding with a lot of speeches knows the feeling (and no, Majelin86, yours wasn't any different). Everyone's drinks were empty, people were playing with their napkin or whatever was at their seat and shifting in their chairs, and people were pretty much staring at the waitstaff who was waiting with their meals. It was fucking painful. H was in this wedding. Afterwards, the B&G looked at us for reassurance "how do you think it went?" It would have been rude to say "OMFG how did you allow this to happen?!? That was terrible, cruel and unusual." So we said, "That was so sweet and very nice. Thanks for the great party!" Bet that's what you heard too...
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    image
    CrazyCatLady3JaneAustensGhostDreamergirl8812
  • Majelin86 said:
    Majelin86 said:
    The speeches went over sooo well! The wedding party kept them short & they were SO hilarious! We got tons of compliments on the speeches specifically :)

    Good for you? Apparently some of your guests are fans of amateur comedy hour, but I'm guessing at least a few were rolling their eyes at the eight people who toasted you. How long did these speeches take?

     

    Stuck in the box. Whoa, I wasn't saying that to be smug, I'm just happy it went so well! No need to be mean.

    The speeches took about 30mins.

    30 minutes!?!  As a guest I would have wanted to rip my ears off.

    The speeches/toasts may have gone over well in your eyes, but I can guarantee that after the first 10 minutes your guests were rolling their eyes and muttering under their breath about how bored they were.

    But, since the wedding was all about you then all that matters is that you were happy (sarcasm).
    Oh well, you're probably just mad because your 'advice' was wrong and the speeches actually went well. People on here can't just be happy for other people can they? I am happily married and the day went beautifully and that's all I care about :)
    Sorry, but no one here is spiteful enough to care about this. The fact is that 30 minutes is too long to make guests sit there while people talk about you. It's pretty AW and our advice is as much for you as it is for lurkers. As much as you'd probably like to think so, no one really gives a shit if you think your "speeches" were a success. Of course you want to think that.

    The longest I've ever sat through speeches was probably 20-25 minutes. Anyone who's been a guest at a wedding with a lot of speeches knows the feeling (and no, Majelin86, yours wasn't any different). Everyone's drinks were empty, people were playing with their napkin or whatever was at their seat and shifting in their chairs, and people were pretty much staring at the waitstaff who was waiting with their meals. It was fucking painful. H was in this wedding. Afterwards, the B&G looked at us for reassurance "how do you think it went?" It would have been rude to say "OMFG how did you allow this to happen?!? That was terrible, cruel and unusual." So we said, "That was so sweet and very nice. Thanks for the great party!" Bet that's what you heard too...
     
    Stuck in the box. Everyone ate dinner before speeches and the bar was open throughout for people to refresh their drinks whenever they wanted. And I didn't ask people about the speeches they willingly came up to us to tell us how good they thought they were. I don't understand why it's so hard to believe that a wedding could have good, funny speeches. In our area it's the norm to have lots of speeches and have them last a half hour, so our guests were perfectly fine with it. Maybe you guys should be a little more open-minded and not have this one vision of a cookie-cutter wedding that everyone has to have.
  • It's not a cookie-cutter vision, for pete's sake. It's the fact that no one voluntarily chooses to sit through a half hour of speeches when there is drinking, dancing, and talking to be had. 

    It might have maybe worked for you, but I would venture to guess your case is a very small minority. 
    image
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I am sorry but 30 minutes of speeches is boring as hell to me so no, I am not going to be open-minded to it.

  • I don't know why you can't believe that people were annoyed by this.

    FFS you could have 30 minutes of a professional comedian telling jokes about you and your husband at your reception and I'd still be bored stiff.  No one wants to sit through 30 minutes of speeches about another person when they could be drinking and dancing instead.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
  • -Parents of the Groom Could be done at RD if needed
    -Parents of the Bride again at RD if needed
    -Brother of the Groom  <- I would of cut out
    -Brother of the Groom  <- cut
    -Bridesmaid possibly cut
    -Best Man
    -Maid of Honour
    -Bride & Groom <- Cut

    Just an idea but OP, i dont know if i could of sat through 30 mins. 
    Married 11/12/05 ~ Renewed Our Vows 11/9/13. 

    "The LORD will fight for you, you need only be still."


  • I have to agree, 30 minutes is hella long to be listening to toasts.   I think the reason OP liked it so much was because no doubt the toasts were focused on her (and to some extent her groom.)   Of course she liked 30 minutes of non-stop compliments.  It's called narcissism.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    SKPMNYCMercedesDreamergirl8812
  • I have to agree, 30 minutes is hella long to be listening to toasts.   I think the reason OP liked it so much was because no doubt the toasts were focused on her (and to some extent her groom.)   Of course she liked 30 minutes of non-stop compliments.  It's called narcissism.


    Ok, everyone is being really bitchy about this, and I'm not sure why? People on these boards never seem happy...especially when someone else's wedding doesn't fit their own vision.

    I'm happy with how my wedding went, and if you have to make mean assumptions about me to feel better about yourself then I feel bad for you.

    WedReMix13
  • Oh goodness, people aren't being that bitchy, they're just reeling in shock from the length of your speeches. I know I am. 

    Recommending 30 minutes of speeches to other brides is a terrible idea. That's the point everyone is trying to get across. Fine, it may have worked for you, but for 99.99999% of everyone else it's going to make for a poor reception. 
    image
    Maggie0829NYCMercedes
  • I am not recommending this to other brides!! People were jumping on me when I said how many I was having. ALL I wanted to know originally was the ORDER that I should put the speeches in.

    I'm done responding to this, it's not worth my time.

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