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Etiquette

Bad ideas your FH has come up with?

24

Re: Bad ideas your FH has come up with?

  • FI thought that a cash bar after comping one drink for each guest would be okay.  I talked him out of that.

    Then he thought that it would be okay to put out a tip jar for the bartenders and then just  tip them whatever amount of the 20% that wasn't covered by our guests.  I wanted to tear my hair out with that one.  Umm..no dear.  We are paying our bartenders, as well as leaving an adequate tip.  If our guests choose to leave a tip when they get drinks, that's fine, but there will be no jar, and we won't be asking the bartenders "so, how much did our friends give you?"  

    He also thought we could skip having chairs for our ceremony since it's "just going to be short and in the park...they can bring blankets and stuff if they want"  

    Good lord...
  • elBecko said:

    He doesn't want to send separate invites to our 20-something cousins and their SOs, just send one to their parents' house with 6 or 8 names written on it.  (He also still doesn't understand why this is rude). 
     


    Yeah, don't do this.  It's not even practical.

     

    My cousin did this, and then my mom forgot to tell me about the wedding.  I found out later, after missing her wedding (and of course not RSVPing to say I wouldn't be there) that I was even invited. 

    Officially hitched as of 10/25/13

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

     

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

     

     

  • FI wanted to smoke ribs on day-of for his groomsmen and him to eat. Mind you, this would be happening AFTER showers were taken. I can smell it now..
    Futuresheidlavaskin
  • FI originally wanted a dollar dance and games at the reception to keep guests entertained. Other than those, he's been very helpful. :)
    RedJacks, I think your FH and mine might be secretly related...  He also fought with me that "people wouldn't know where we are registered if we don't put it on the invite."  Thankfully, I won that one.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    My BF wants his late father listed on our invitation as "the late BF's Father" even though he can't host.
  • beachbum7212beachbum7212 member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments First Anniversary
    edited October 2013
    mimiphin said:

    Blue tux.... ala Dumb and Dumber.... (he said that since he wore the Orange one for his high school grad that somehow justifies this!)

    I almost cried  when I found out he was serious and said I am not getting married to someone in a blue tux!

    He wonders how people will know he's the groom if all the men are in black suits.

    image


    OMG! FI had the same idea...he was heart set on wearing an orange suit and the groomsmen wearing blue suits. We compromised, since we're getting married on the beach he's wearing an orange Columbia fishing shirt and the guys are wearing blue ones. ETA: spelling.
  • FI is almost on the verge of insisting we have a JOP wedding and a PPD next year. (I need health insurance, like, bad). I told him nope, no way. Either guests are coming to attend our real wedding or we're eloping and I'm wearing my damn dress to the courthouse and sending out cards that announce our marriage and apologizes for us no longer having a large wedding.
    grumbledoreKeptInStitchesSKPM
  • My bil had a dairy queen cake as his groom's cake and it was awesome, everyone loved it and snatched it up in seconds before even he could get a piece. For the actual cake it's totally impractical but they just brought his out a few minutes before the ceremonial cutting and it worked well.
    FI and I are tossing around the idea of renting a soft serve machine for our reception. I'm pretty stoked.
  • WARNING: I think he thinks your just having a party!, Not a wedding reception!
  • Swords for groomsmen gifts and an open bar.  Yeah, nothing will go wrong there.

    Sending out "just my dad's invitation because he needs to do know when to be in town."  His parents are divorced and I see his mom around town regularly (she's a crazy lady).  Dear FH doesn't know that this is a political game as well.  

    Coeurhardal01
  • OMG! Are we marrying the same guy?? 

    He wants the wear the blue and have his guys in orange. Dumb and Dumber is one of his favorite movies.

    Our wedding colors are dark purple with red, yellow and orange flowers - I mean a more natural, fall orange and he thinks Dumb and Dumber orange tuxes will match perfectly.

    mimiphin said:

    Blue tux.... ala Dumb and Dumber.... (he said that since he wore the Orange one for his high school grad that somehow justifies this!)

    I almost cried  when I found out he was serious and said I am not getting married to someone in a blue tux!

    He wonders how people will know he's the groom if all the men are in black suits.

    image


  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Swords for groomsmen gifts and an open bar.  Yeah, nothing will go wrong there.

      

    Omg. I'm totally cracking up at this! 

  • My darling future husband thought it would be "sweet and meaningful" to have a two minute rift during our VOWS (we'll be writing our own) on how he loves me more than his best friend/best man, a la JD & Turk from Scrubs. He thought we would need the humor to "break up the tension".

    He didn't understand why I thought this was wildly inappropriate.
    aurorajanette
  • The suggestion I had last night was to take the 6 kids (nieces and nephews) and put them in an unused corner of the venue, without a babysitter. All to to save space at the adult tables!  Needless to say a debate began and the kids are now sitting with their parents not in the kitchen!
  • Being an avid fisherman, my FH wants tables to be named after types of fish, with a picture of the fish on the table .... I suggested perhaps the names of lakes/fishing spots we've been to together, instead. We're still working out this one ...
    kking1982
  • Oh yeah mine wanted to strictly ask for cash - for his future boat. My future MIL and I both had to talk him out of that one. I'm trying to settle on having Cabela's on the registry list. It's still not super traditional but better than him asking for outright cash. Geesh. 
  • I completely agree! We are having a big Greek Orthodox wedding (think My Big Fat Greek Wedding). Luckily he is on my side because there was no way he was going under my skirt to get my garter in front of hundreds of ppl. No way!!
  • Yeah... I'm with you. I'm thinking it would cause more problems then it would solve. What if you get responses from ppl you don't want there? Or too many responses...? I don't think Emily Post would approve haha
  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 at the corner of Wine Ave. and Margarita Ln. member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    FI wants a chocolate fountain (fondue style) in place of a grooms cake. We went with a very simple cake, but I was playing with the idea of also offering fresh fruit. (luncheon reception). If we go with it, we're covering that bit ourselves, as my folks are otherwise paying and don't really understand the concept of fondue.
  • Not really his idea but he did give the approval. Our group of guys friends do not call my fiance by his real name instead they call him "Marth" after a character he plays all the time in Super Smash Brothers. They have called him this name for 7-8 years now and correct our college friends when he's called "Ryan". For the wedding they want to yell out "Ha! Ryan!" every time someone says his name. I'm somewhat fine with this, but my mom has threaten to kill them all if they do it during the ceremony. 

    We have a good year and a half till the wedding, so hopefully people will come to an agreement.
  • My FH just informed me last night that he wants to do a photo booth at our reception. Himself. Like, set everything up and have some of the guys he invited run everything. "Oh, I'm sure they would love to do it!"  Oh man. 5 weeks before the wedding and he gets these ideas. I'm pretty sure "the guys" aren't on the approved vendor list...
  • edited October 2013

    Mine has been great, but he really wanted "we're registered at ..." on the invites. No dice.  We're still in an uneasy truce over handwriting/clear stickers on the outer envelopes (he's a MailMerge fanatic), which is about to come to a head now that the invites have arrived.

    Was finally able to convince him that we can't have the nieces/nephews in the wedding party and my bridesmaid's kids in attendance but put a ban on other kids. (After the Save-the-Dates had gone out to whole families instead of just Mr./Mrs.)

    The most recent facepalm moment (and there have been thankfully few) is my mom, who is much too weak/frail/sickly to participate in the 20-minute hora dance he's excited about.  I suggested we pull up a chair for her near the action, and station someone to hang out with her so she doesn't feel left out.  His suggestion: "Well, maybe we can put her in a chair and people can take turns carrying/dancing with it."  Mind you *I* am not even psyched about the chair part for myself!  Again, this is, as another commenter put it so gracefully above, "I love you but ..."

    Dreamergirl8812
  • My FH wants to enter the the reception to the theme song from the show strike back and wants to have bounce houses. I will say his food truck idea was actually pretty awesome.
  • I totally agree with not splitting the party, but maybe you should compromise with the music. Even if you just pick out ONE or TWO tracks together. It will make him so happy. My suggestions to take to him: Wish You Were Here, Fat Old Sun, Every Stranger's Eyes, Moment of Clarity- all perfectly fine as slow dance songs. I have an ultra Floyd Fan fiance, too.
  • My FH wants to enter the the reception to the theme song from the show strike back and wants to have bounce houses. I will say his food truck idea was actually pretty awesome.
    I'm really glad my FI hasn't thought of this yet, he LOVES that show!
  • A lot of my FH's recommendations were jokes (I hope) to make me agitated..

    - Chimps in tuxedos handing out programs.
    - A potluck reception.
    - Mario and Luigi costumes...my father would be Mario and give me away to Luigi.  
    - Having our dog in the ceremony (which, I will admit, would have been cute, but the venue has a no animals policy).
    - No children at all...no exceptions. (I talked him down to just allowing his nieces and nephews and my two cousins, who are all over the age of 9).
    - Elbow-length gloves for me. (Absolutely not.)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • My lovely FH doesn't think we need to register anywhere, that way "everyone can just give us cash". I'm still working on explaining to him that it's rude to ask for money and that some people aren't comfortable gifting cash rather than a traditional gift.
  • Where do I even begin?  In reading these, keep in mind we are having a large formal evening wedding at a reception hall.

    FI's ideas:
    - "I will be your wedding coordinator. I'm a project manager, I can do these things." (add on using Microsoft Project to make the wedding timeline which is sort of an ok idea albeit funny).
    - "Entertainment? Let's just have [my 12 year old cousin] to sing."
    - "I'll have my grandpa bring lamps for lighting."
    - "Can't we just make the centerpieces ourselves? We can buy some sticks and vases and I can have [my sister] drop them off at the venue before the wedding."

    Future FIL's suggestions:
    - Using old halloween candy to make a candy bar for dessert
    - Hiring a clown to entertain the kids.

    This is not a 6-year-old's birthday party! lol
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