Do you hate the bouquet toss?

clueclaw.defunct635777689035314155

This is out of pure curiosity, and maybe to decide if I want to do it.

I have been to a lot of weddings over the past few years. 98% of them were with the same circle of friends, so I am seeing the same people at most of them.

I have noticed that all my girl friends seem to hate the bouquet toss. In addition, a lot of girls who were at these weddings that I didn't know seem to also not favor the the bouquet toss.Yet movies make it seem like all girls are dying to catch the bouquet. (I know, I know it is totally a great idea to expect everything to be like the movies).

Anyway, just out of curiosity, what have you noticed about the big bouquet toss? Do your friends seem to love it or hate it?

My observations make me weary of doing it at mine, especially since there will not be many single ladies. 

lovesclimbing

My friends seemed to like it.  One thing I would recommend is not making people stand up.  Unfortunately, that happens a lot. Announce, "It's time for the bouquet toss" not "All the single ladies come up for the toss".  Also, don't force people up.  My cousin's new wife insisted I stand up for her toss even though I was engaged.  I did not appreciate it (and didn't even try to catch it) but I stood up so as not to make a scene.

Some ladies suggest doing an all ladies toss rather than just single ladies.

WinstonsGirl

I personally hate it.  I hang around the back sides, where there's as little chance as possible of it coming towards me.  I think it's cos I don't want/need the attention of catching it and hearing "You'll be the next to get married" when I'm always single.  We didn't do one at our wedding.  No one missed it.  Friends of DH's got married the weekend before us and I told him after that I was so glad to never have to get called up again.  That said, if you and your circle enjoy it, then do it.  Not everyone hates it

KytchynWitche

I hate it too. It's just plain silly. But there are a lot of wedding "traditions" that I hate.

I'm not having a bouquet at all, so there's nothing for me to throw. I also won't be wearing a garter, so there's nothing for FI to throw either. We're having a small wedding, just family and some close friends, and pretty much everyone on our guest list is already married, so we wouldn't have anyone to throw things to anyway.

RedJacks25

I'm nearing 30. I hate advertising I'm single. I hate the bouquet toss and we won't be doing it.

MissMWood

I hate it too! It will not be happening at our wedding, or the garter toss!

OliveOilsMom

The part I hated the most about the bouquet toss was then the garter toss and the chance of having some rando guy putting a garter on my leg.  So on the few occasions that I went up for the toss, I always kept my hand flat and open to deflect the bouquet away from me if it came my way.

I didn't have a bouquet toss because I was only having 3 single ladies at my wedding.  THAT would have really singled them out, which I felt was unfair to them.

Majelin86

I have never liked the bouquet toss and neither do my friends. I feel like you're just centering out the single girls and saying "hey, these are the people who haven't found that special someone yet, look at them!". And then make them fight over catching one bouquet. We aren't doing it at our wedding, or the garter toss.

KeptInStitches

I hate it. It's become my excuse to go hide in the bathroom.

thisismynickname2

Hate it, it singles people out. However, this tradition is more usual for young brides, and fades as more of the group get married. Or, any bride might have teen or young 20's cousins that might think it's fun. Know your crowd!

arrippa

I won't be doing any toss. I am older and most of my friends are married.

 I was dragged up there by the bride at the last wedding I attended. I hated every moment of it.

climbingsingle

I despise the bouquet toss. Most of my girlfriends don't like it either. I was at a wedding last year and tried to duck out of it. The bride had the DJ announce my name to call me up for it. Yeah. I was not happy. Needless to say I won't be doing it at my wedding. 

ElcaB

I don't mind it, but it can definitely be awkward, especially if there are only a small handful of girls participating. I'm also on the fence about doing it, but if I do, it'll probably be for all the women and not just the single ones.

lennonkdc

I'm not a huge fan, and we are not doing one at our wedding, nor are we doing a garter toss. We might do a anniversary dance, but I'm not sure yet. 

southernbelle0915

Not a fan. When I was single, I conveniently had to pee the second the DJ announces it. To me, it screams, "Ok, which one of you desperate single ladies wants to get married?!?!?!" No thanks.

NYCBruin

Hate it. Singles people out. And it awkwardly turns getting married into a contest. When I was single I wasn't dying to get married for the sake of getting married. IMHO it suggests that women "need" to get married and that's just a shitty thing to say.

I will say I hate the garter toss infinitely more. So awkward/uncomfortable.

Edited to fix typos.

melbelleup

I hate it, my family loves it. I'm doing it at ours. IDK who or how many people will actually come up, but if it makes them happy and it really doesn't matter to me, I'll do it.

WonderRed

Team hater.    As a single person, it was mortifying to be called out and forced to stand in front of everyone for that.  My normal MO was to stand with my arms crossed and not even try to catch it.   I just don't have it in me to do that to people.  

KatWAG

I dont like them. No need to advertise that someone is sinlge. And there is always that super competitive girl who is willing to knock people out of the way to catch it.

Can I tell a story? I was at a wedding this past weekend. Bride went to go do her bouquet toss. all the single girls were on the dance floor waiting to catch it. But the bride over threw it and the bouquet landed behind the head table. So super competitive/ drunk girl gets down on her hands and knees (in a very short dress) and crawls under the table to get the bouquet. While she is crawling her dress comes up over her hips and her thong/ butt is hanging out for the whole wedding to see. There was a collective gasp from all wedding guests. But she got the bouquet, so I guess she is the next to get married? End of story.

Maggie0829

I hate it.  I just think it is ridiculous, pointless and a waste of time where I can be out on the dance floor partying it up with the bride and other friends.

PrettyGirlLost

clueclaw said:

This is out of pure curiosity, and maybe to decide if I want to do it.

I have been to a lot of weddings over the past few years. 98% of them were with the same circle of friends, so I am seeing the same people at most of them.

I have noticed that all my girl friends seem to hate the bouquet toss. In addition, a lot of girls who were at these weddings that I didn't know seem to also not favor the the bouquet toss.Yet movies make it seem like all girls are dying to catch the bouquet. (I know, I know it is totally a great idea to expect everything to be like the movies).

Anyway, just out of curiosity, what have you noticed about the big bouquet toss? Do your friends seem to love it or hate it?

My observations make me weary of doing it at mine, especially since there will not be many single ladies. 

I hate it, always have.  I go to the bar or the bathroom as soon as it is announced.  It singles people out and makes them uncomfortable. 

It's ridiculous when brides try to force their family and friends to participate, especially when their friends are not actually single!  I have had people try to make me participate right in front of my now FI; "Get up there, you're not married, you are still single!"  To which I said, "Oh really?  Then who the fuck is this (points to FI)?!"  and then got up and went to the bar.

And I really despise it when coupled with the garter retrieval and toss, when the couples make the guy who caught the garter dance with the girl who caught the bouquet.  And the worst of all is when couples make the guy who caught the garter put it on the girl who caught the bouquet- ick!

gmcr78

Team hate.  Loathe it.  I caught it once by accident (I literally stuck my hand up and looked the other way, not trying to catch it at all, and it landed in my hand) and it was the most awkward thing ever. My friends all hate it and everyone rolls their eyes when people do it.  Usually it's some random family member trying to drag people up.

We're not doing that or the garter.  In fact, I'm not wearing a garter. Just don't see the point.

blueobsidian

I don't mind it, in theory.  However, small weddings are the norm in my circle and it can get super awkward and embarrassing when there are only a couple single women.  Most of my friends absolutely hate it.

mimiphin

I like it, to me its just says wedding.  And yes I went to a wedding this past Aug and I was the only one over the age of 12 who was standing for it, I felt a little silly but played along with it.

It's all personal preference, if you know you have a lot of 'single ladies'  who like it coming  then do it.

daria24

Hate it hate HATE IT. I hate being dragged by old busy bodies to participate. And (before I was married) I refused to participate because no way in hell was some guy sticking his hands up my leg to put the garter on. And one never knew if they were planning on doing that 'tradition' or not prior to the toss. 

In the past 5 or so years I haven't seen the garter catcher put the garter on the bouquet catcher, I hope that means that 'tradition' is dying out. 

melbelleup

WonderRed said:

Team hater.    As a single person, it was mortifying to be called out and forced to stand in front of everyone for that.  My normal MO was to stand with my arms crossed and not even try to catch it.   I just don't have it in me to do that to people.  

  This is what my FSIL and I do at weddings lately. My parents make us both go up... her and I stand in the middle and let the little kids get it.

thejucheidea

Hate it, not doing it.

aud5879

I hate it too, and not doing it at our wedding!

Maggie0829

Hate it hate HATE IT. I hate being dragged by old busy bodies to participate. And (before I was married) I refused to participate because no way in hell was some guy sticking his hands up my leg to put the garter on. And one never knew if they were planning on doing that 'tradition' or not prior to the toss. 

In the past 5 or so years I haven't seen the garter catcher put the garter on the bouquet catcher, I hope that means that 'tradition' is dying out. 

Not here in good ole Maryland. That tradition is still kicking and looks no where near to be dying any time soon.

I hate that tradition by the way.

chibiyui

I still kinda like it, but I understand why people hate it.

I will just do an all ladies toss, and the winner gets wine. The garter toss will be a not-on-my-leg garter, and the winner will also get wine, maybe liquor. Either way, winner gets booze and no awkward semi-consensual garter placing. 

ohmrs2014

I too was forced into doing the bouquet toss and I was engaged.  I despise them so much.  FI and I decided (though it took a little convincing) that instead of doing the bouquet and garter toss, we will have all of the married couples go onto the dance floor.  The DJ will start saying like "If you have been married less than a year, please sit down"  "If you have been married less then 5 years, please sit down" and so forth.  The last couple standing will get the bouquet and garter.