Do you hate the bouquet toss?

WonderRed

50ShadesofMe said:

I too was forced into doing the bouquet toss and I was engaged.  I despise them so much.  FI and I decided (though it took a little convincing) that instead of doing the bouquet and garter toss, we will have all of the married couples go onto the dance floor.  The DJ will start saying like "If you have been married less than a year, please sit down"  "If you have been married less then 5 years, please sit down" and so forth.  The last couple standing will get the bouquet and garter.

We did an anniversary dance at my first wedding.  We played Alan Jackson's Remember When and everyone teared up and loved it.   But we gave away a bottle of wine.

ohmrs2014

WonderRed said:

50ShadesofMe said:

I too was forced into doing the bouquet toss and I was engaged.  I despise them so much.  FI and I decided (though it took a little convincing) that instead of doing the bouquet and garter toss, we will have all of the married couples go onto the dance floor.  The DJ will start saying like "If you have been married less than a year, please sit down"  "If you have been married less then 5 years, please sit down" and so forth.  The last couple standing will get the bouquet and garter.

We did an anniversary dance at my first wedding.  We played Alan Jackson's Remember When and everyone teared up and loved it.   But we gave away a bottle of wine.

OMG I was having a brain fart and couldn't think of the words "anniversary dance" LOL.  I figured I would just describe it hoping that someone out there would know what I was trying to say LOL.

erinlin25

I never bothered me for the most part.  But I went to an old family- friends wedding where I only knew my parents and the bride and her mom. I did not want to participate in the bouquet toss because I was not there with my friends, etc. So I did not go up, and the bride straight up hunted for me and pulled me on stage (there were maybe 5 of us total)-- I did not like that at all!  I just stood there to the side and did not attempt to go near it.   For my friends wedding I was all about it and caught it all 3 of my best friends weddings.  Thank goodness none of those weddings had it set up where the guy who caught the garter had to put the garter on the girl who caught the bouquet leg--I would have not been ok with that!

 I did one at mine, but I knew I had girls who would be into it, so I knew it would not be uncomfortable. 

laylasaurus

meh, I'm not a fan but it is certainly a know your crowd sort of deal.  If you have a ton of unmarried ladies in attendance that might enjoy it, go for it.  If all the women in attendance are not fans or wouldn't be participating because they are married...forget it. It's not a necessary tradition.  

smalfrie19

chibiyui said:

I still kinda like it, but I understand why people hate it.

I will just do an all ladies toss, and the winner gets wine. The garter toss will be a not-on-my-leg garter, and the winner will also get wine, maybe liquor. Either way, winner gets booze and no awkward semi-consensual garter placing. 

see, I like this idea!

Dreamergirl8812

I hate it. When I was like 10 I remember asking my mom why women were expected to fight over the chance to marry. In my area the bouquet catcher gets the bouquet and the garter catcher keeps the garter. There's no rapey putting the garter on the "winner."

My FBIL had an anniversary dance at his wedding (years ago). The last standing were his grandparents. Well, grandma died a year or two ago, but they have such wonderful pictures of them dancing at their grandson's wedding, after like 50 years of marriage.

I don't want to do the anniversary dance because my parents are divorced and I don't want to embarrass the (older) people who haven't been married that long. But if I had grandparents or something, and knew they would win, I would do it.

ElcaB

WonderRed said:

50ShadesofMe said:

I too was forced into doing the bouquet toss and I was engaged.  I despise them so much.  FI and I decided (though it took a little convincing) that instead of doing the bouquet and garter toss, we will have all of the married couples go onto the dance floor.  The DJ will start saying like "If you have been married less than a year, please sit down"  "If you have been married less then 5 years, please sit down" and so forth.  The last couple standing will get the bouquet and garter.

We did an anniversary dance at my first wedding.  We played Alan Jackson's Remember When and everyone teared up and loved it.   But we gave away a bottle of wine.

That song always makes me cry. That's adorable. 

PrettyGirlLost

50ShadesofMe said:

I too was forced into doing the bouquet toss and I was engaged.  I despise them so much.  FI and I decided (though it took a little convincing) that instead of doing the bouquet and garter toss, we will have all of the married couples go onto the dance floor.  The DJ will start saying like "If you have been married less than a year, please sit down"  "If you have been married less then 5 years, please sit down" and so forth.  The last couple standing will get the bouquet and garter.

We might do this Anniversary Dance as well, but rather than saying "If you have been married" I would like the DJ to say "If you have been with your SO. . . "  I have been with my FI for over 10 years, so we will be able to stay on the dance floor for a bit, lol!

lfk2013

Maggie0829 said: Hate it hate HATE IT. I hate being dragged by old busy bodies to participate. And (before I was married) I refused to participate because no way in hell was some guy sticking his hands up my leg to put the garter on. And one never knew if they were planning on doing that 'tradition' or not prior to the toss. 
In the past 5 or so years I haven't seen the garter catcher put the garter on the bouquet catcher, I hope that means that 'tradition' is dying out.  Not here in good ole Maryland. That tradition is still kicking and looks no where near to be dying any time soon.
I hate that tradition by the way.

A good friend did both at her wedding in August.  I'm fine with both the bouquet and garter toss (as long as you know the crowd), but I was extremely uncomfortable when the guy put the garter on the girl (even though they were dating).  That's not happening.  

grumbledore

50ShadesofMe said:

I too was forced into doing the bouquet toss and I was engaged.  I despise them so much.  FI and I decided (though it took a little convincing) that instead of doing the bouquet and garter toss, we will have all of the married couples go onto the dance floor.  The DJ will start saying like "If you have been married less than a year, please sit down"  "If you have been married less then 5 years, please sit down" and so forth.  The last couple standing will get the bouquet and garter.

I always thought this was kind of sweet.  I'd consider doing something like that.

Definitely on Team-Toss-Hater.

southernbelle0915

We did an anniversary dance to "Nothing can change this love" by Sam Cooke. 

It was really sweet.

doeydo

I don't mind it.  

From what I have seen at weddings with the girls I know, they aren't all crazy trying to get it but find it kind of fun or whatever. 

I think if the MC just calls for "all the single ladies" to come up it is kind of dumb and might make someone feel like they have the spotlight on them for being single.  I think it would be better to say something like "The bride will be tossing the bouquet up front in a few minutes.  Any ladies who wish to catch it can some on up" 

annathy03

Team dislike, but I think it depends on the crowd and how many single people you have.  I went to two weddings this summer that did them and guests (not the B&G) heckled me for not going up saying "you're not married YET", and I had to quote Beyonce to get them to shut up, "Thanks, but he put a ring on it".

FI wants to get the garter, IF we do tosses they'll be with everyone and for a gift card (or maybe casino chips since we're getting married in Vegas) without trying to pair up the folks that catch them.  I've made it clear we're not singling out 3-5 unmarried girls at a 200 person reception because I think it's mean.

Side story: 2 years ago I was a BM and the bride conspired to ensure I caught the bouquet and FI  caught the garter.  We all went to college together and still vacation with that couple and had loads of mutual friends in attendance that knew us, otherwise it would have been a train wreck.  While the attention felt a little awkward at the time, I do love the photos of it she sent me after (and leaning towards using the photo of him putting the garter on me- only up to my knee- as our save the date postcard).

Pepper6

I hate them, especially when they specifically drag out 'non-participants' who are single.  If you do one because you know some of your guests will be into it, then great, but for the love of God don't force people to participate.  It just makes it even more awkward. And never, never, never make the guy put the garter on the girl, it's just gross.

I was at a wedding once where the DJ made a big deal about the tosses and how the guy would have to put the garter on the girl with his teeth and kept talking it up about how hot and sexy it would be.  The girl who caught the bouquet was 12.  When they did the garter toss, the guys ran from it like the plague and it just fell on the floor, yet the DJ tried to make them re-do it still talking about how awesome it was going to be to put the garter on with their teeth.  Um, I'm pretty sure no one there wanted to witness pedophilia...it was so awkward and disturbing.

Dreamergirl8812

Pepper6 said:

I hate them, especially when they specifically drag out 'non-participants' who are single.  If you do one because you know some of your guests will be into it, then great, but for the love of God don't force people to participate.  It just makes it even more awkward. And never, never, never make the guy put the garter on the girl, it's just gross.

I was at a wedding once where the DJ made a big deal about the tosses and how the guy would have to put the garter on the girl with his teeth and kept talking it up about how hot and sexy it would be.  The girl who caught the bouquet was 12.  When they did the garter toss, the guys ran from it like the plague and it just fell on the floor, yet the DJ tried to make them re-do it still talking about how awesome it was going to be to put the garter on with their teeth.  Um, I'm pretty sure no one there wanted to witness pedophilia...it was so awkward and disturbing.

Thank goodness! At least there wasn't a Pervy Stu in the mix.

mysticl

Pepper6 said:

I hate them, especially when they specifically drag out 'non-participants' who are single.  If you do one because you know some of your guests will be into it, then great, but for the love of God don't force people to participate.  It just makes it even more awkward. And never, never, never make the guy put the garter on the girl, it's just gross.

I was at a wedding once where the DJ made a big deal about the tosses and how the guy would have to put the garter on the girl with his teeth and kept talking it up about how hot and sexy it would be.  The girl who caught the bouquet was 12.  When they did the garter toss, the guys ran from it like the plague and it just fell on the floor, yet the DJ tried to make them re-do it still talking about how awesome it was going to be to put the garter on with their teeth.  Um, I'm pretty sure no one there wanted to witness pedophilia...it was so awkward and disturbing.

Did the girl's father have a "talk" with the DJ?  

I'm of the "hate it" camp.  I always hid in the back of the pack with my arms at my sides.  My friends were usually right there with me.  Though there was always one girl who was diving for it.  We opted not to do the tosses at our wedding.  

I was at one wedding where the MOH dove for the bouquet.  Then her boyfriend caught the garter.  She did a fist pump when he caught it.  They did get married but it didn't last 3 years.  

clueclaw.defunct635777689035314155

I have never seen or heard of the guy who caught the garter putting it on the girl who caught the bouquet. 

Thank goodness too, because I "caught" the bouquet one time. I was standing behind the group, not trying. The bride threw it over the entire group of girls. I picked it up and jokingly acted like one of those battling single ladies. No one really cared about actually catching it.

bride2b71614

I'll admit that when I was a child, I used to love the bouquet toss. When I turned 16, I attended my cousin's wedding with my HS sweetheart. I was "in love" the guy, and was convinced I was going to marry him because he was my "soul mate" and my "other half". In order to "prove" my love I decided to participate. I caught the bouquet (someone knocked me over pretty hard after it got tossed), and the guy who caught the garter was in his mid to late twenties. After the toss the DJ insisted that the guy should put the garter on me with using his teeth. My dad got up from his seat and tried to protect me, which caused a HUGE scene. My cousin threw a hissy fit and said that we were ruining her wedding video.  The DJ was in agreement with my cousin, because it was "entertaining" and we were "ruining the fun for everyone else". I felt really uncomfortable because I didn't want my cousin to be upset, but I wasn't thrilled to be in the middle of this whole disagreement. My dad let it continue after making sure I was okay. He forced the DJ to let him oversee it, the guy had to use his hands and the garter couldn't go above the half point of my calf. Today, if I were one of two women on the dance floor during a bouquet toss, I'd convince the other woman to take it. No way jose am I going to have a repeat experience like that, nor would I want to subject anyone to that!  All in all, nix the garter throw, nix the tossing of the bouquet. 

JaneAustensGhost

I never liked the idea of the bouquet toss, the garter toss, or smashing cake in each other's faces.   I won't be doing any of those.

Cokezerofreak

I've participated in on bouquet toss at my brother's wedding.  I was 20 years old at the time and my brother's new in-laws step daughter (14 at the time) yanked it out of my hands.  She was pregnant a year later.

We won't be doing it.