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Ceremony and Vow Ideas

Writing My Own Vows

Hi All,

Am new to TK, (live in NZ, but had to select Hawaii as its the closest to me) Have been trying to figure out how to work my vows to my FH, and Think I have come up with the ideal wording (given the Celebrant agrees). Just to give you some background MY FH has had multiple health issues (Liver transplant at 5yo, kidney failure, heart failure, and had a tumor removed from his pancreas a couple of years back, also had his stomach stop working last year - thankfully it now works again thanks to a brilliant Dr). I proposed to him, and he said yes... Anyway, due to his ongoing health issues, I didn't want to add "til death do us part, or the whole in sickness and in health" parts so here is my wording...

My Vows to Him:
"I love you Michael and I know that you love me, today I commit to making you my husband. Through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future I promise to Love you, and be Faithful to you, and Care for you always, no matter the state of our Health, Finances and Moods. I promise to be open about my feelings, and talk through any issues that may arise or cause conflict in our union. I will be your best friend and appreciate all that we both bring to marriage, and I look forward to finding out more about you. I promise to support you and be a comfort when needed. I chose you to be the one I walk with on this path, no matter what may cross it, for as long as we are both alive."
maryemoo

Re: Writing My Own Vows

  • If I'm being honest, your version still seems a bit Debbie Downer depressing to me, especially knowing his history. Maybe a little long, too.

    Try this, perhaps?

    "Michael, today I make the commitment to become your wife.

    Through the uncertainties of the future, I promise to love you, and be faithful to you, and care for you always, in good times and in bad.

    I promise to be open about my feelings, and be generous in communication.

    I will be your best friend and I promise to emphasize all of the positive that we both bring to marriage.

    I promise to support you always, and I choose you to be the one I walk with on this journey through life. I love you."

    Iloveshanejlauralee1723maryemoo
  • I'm not wacky about it - it lacks a certain solemnity while managing to be depressing.  However, I really hate this line:  "I look forward to finding out more about you".  WHAT?  You don't know him very well?  In any wedding context, it sounds very out of place.  Yes, he has health problems, but your marriage should be about celebrating the joy of life - your triumph over those problems, your love's redemptive quality.  I would attempt to infuse a bit more heroism into the vows.

    Also, I see nothing wrong with "in sickness and in health" and "till death do us part."  Isn't that what you're vowing anyway? 

    Good luck with your vows and your wedding! 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Hi All,

    Am new to TK, (live in NZ, but had to select Hawaii as its the closest to me) Have been trying to figure out how to work my vows to my FH, and Think I have come up with the ideal wording (given the Celebrant agrees). Just to give you some background MY FH has had multiple health issues (Liver transplant at 5yo, kidney failure, heart failure, and had a tumor removed from his pancreas a couple of years back, also had his stomach stop working last year - thankfully it now works again thanks to a brilliant Dr). I proposed to him, and he said yes... Anyway, due to his ongoing health issues, I didn't want to add "til death do us part, or the whole in sickness and in health" parts so here is my wording...

    My Vows to Him:
    "I love you Michael and I know that you love me, today I commit to making you my husband. Through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future I promise to Love you, and be Faithful to you, and Care for you always, no matter the state of our Health, Finances and Moods. I promise to be open about my feelings, and talk things through with you. any issues that may arise or cause conflict in our union. I will be your best friend and appreciate all that we both bring to marriage, and I look forward to finding out more about you. I promise to support you and be a comfort when needed. I chose you to be the one I walk with on this path, no matter what may cross it, for as long as we are both alive."
    If you use this, I'd make the above changes so that it doesn't focus so much on problems and issues, whether real or potential.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Hi All,

    Am new to TK, (live in NZ, but had to select Hawaii as its the closest to me) Have been trying to figure out how to work my vows to my FH, and Think I have come up with the ideal wording (given the Celebrant agrees). Just to give you some background MY FH has had multiple health issues (Liver transplant at 5yo, kidney failure, heart failure, and had a tumor removed from his pancreas a couple of years back, also had his stomach stop working last year - thankfully it now works again thanks to a brilliant Dr). I proposed to him, and he said yes... Anyway, due to his ongoing health issues, I didn't want to add "til death do us part, or the whole in sickness and in health" parts so here is my wording...

    My Vows to Him:
    "I love you Michael and I know that you love me, today I commit to making you my husband. Through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future I promise to Love you, and be Faithful to you, and Care for you always, no matter the state of our Health, Finances and Moods. I promise to be open about my feelings, and talk things through with you. any issues that may arise or cause conflict in our union. I will be your best friend and appreciate all that we both bring to marriage, and I look forward to finding out more about you. I promise to support you and be a comfort when needed. I chose you to be the one I walk with on this path, no matter what may cross it, for as long as we are both alive."
    If you use this, I'd make the above changes so that it doesn't focus so much on problems and issues, whether real or potential.
  • Hi All,

    Am new to TK, (live in NZ, but had to select Hawaii as its the closest to me) Have been trying to figure out how to work my vows to my FH, and Think I have come up with the ideal wording (given the Celebrant agrees). Just to give you some background MY FH has had multiple health issues (Liver transplant at 5yo, kidney failure, heart failure, and had a tumor removed from his pancreas a couple of years back, also had his stomach stop working last year - thankfully it now works again thanks to a brilliant Dr). I proposed to him, and he said yes... Anyway, due to his ongoing health issues, I didn't want to add "til death do us part, or the whole in sickness and in health" parts so here is my wording...

    My Vows to Him:
    "I love you Michael and I know that you love me, today I commit to making you my husband. Through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future I promise to Love you, and be Faithful to you, and Care for you always, no matter the state of our Health, Finances and Moods. I promise to be open about my feelings, and talk through any issues that may arise or cause conflict in our union. I will be your best friend and appreciate all that we both bring to marriage, and I look forward to finding out more about you. I promise to support you and be a comfort when needed. I chose you to be the one I walk with on this path, no matter what may cross it, for as long as we are both alive."
    The first two bolded are EXACTLY the same thing. So I don't understand why you would be okay with saying one but not the other. As for the last one, I feel like this is completely out of place for a wedding. By the time you are at the point where you are vowing the rest of your lives to one another there really shouldn't be anything left to find out.
  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Hi All,

    Am new to TK, (live in NZ, but had to select Hawaii as its the closest to me) Have been trying to figure out how to work my vows to my FH, and Think I have come up with the ideal wording (given the Celebrant agrees). Just to give you some background MY FH has had multiple health issues (Liver transplant at 5yo, kidney failure, heart failure, and had a tumor removed from his pancreas a couple of years back, also had his stomach stop working last year - thankfully it now works again thanks to a brilliant Dr). I proposed to him, and he said yes... Anyway, due to his ongoing health issues, I didn't want to add "til death do us part, or the whole in sickness and in health" parts so here is my wording...

    My Vows to Him:
    "I love you Michael and I know that you love me; today I commit to making you my husband. Through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future, I promise to Love you, to be Faithful to you, and to Care for you always, no matter the state of our Health, Finances, and Moods. I promise to be open about my feelings, and to talk through any issues that may arise or cause conflict in our union. I will be your best friend and appreciate everything we bring to marriage, and I look forward to sharing our lives together [or just say nothing here, I agree with jlazgirl]. I promise to support and comfort you when you need it. I choose you to be the one I walk with on this path, for as long as we are both alive."
    I changed a little here and there.  
    image
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