Coloured shoes for bridesmaids?

PolarBearFitz

Oh...mai...goodness this thread is still going?! Cloned hair styles are awful please tell me that's not happening...

@mobkaz love that GIF!

I cannot imagine paying for one of my friends and not the others. I feel when you select your MOH you are basically already singling her out from your friends and doing so further is not really fair. I could see that being hurtful to the other bridesmaids.

mbrooke2008

southernbelle0915 said:

mbrooke2008 said:

katieg520 said:

aefitz29 said:

It really wasn't, I have been a part of several weddings. Shoes were purchased some specific and some not. It is pretty normal for bridesmaids to buy shoes. It also really is not a big deal at all and I never heard a single complaint from anyone. If they aren't expensive there shouldn't be a big fuss over it especially when the bridesmaids said they like the idea!

Exactly! It's not like she was asking them to buy Louboutins or anything!!! Chances are, the girls were going to have to buy a pair of shoes anyway.

@mobkaz and that's fine. Do what you want. I still do what I want and I couldn't care less if you like me, agree with me, or whatever. I do what I want!

I'm also from the South and will agree wholeheartedly with you. It's not about the bride being rude, bossy or self absorbed, it's about the bridesmaids doing what the bride wants because it's her special day and they want to make her happy. I did have my girls wear identical blue shoes. I paid for them all, but they all said they would be more than happy to reimburse me for their pair. And I paid for their hair and makeup, and again they thanked me and all said they would wear their hair and makeup in whatever style would make me happy since it was my wedding day. I am pretty laid back and all that was important to me was they were in matching dresses and shoes, and where I am from it is pretty common for girls to wear matching dresses/shoes, and most BMs do pay for them. You asked these girls to be in the bridal party and they accepted knowing there would be some costs associated with that. I am not saying the bride should pick out a dress or shoes that are outrageously priced and except all the girls to be able to afford that but if it is within reason I don't know that I think it should be a problem.

Bridesmaids doing whatever the bride wants is not a regional thing. It's not a southern thing. In fact, good manners and being unimposing on other people are key elements of southern hospitality. Making your (general you) friends do whatever you want and using the excuse that you're getting married is not polite no matter where you are. 

The polite way to go about this as a bride is to ask each BM privately what their budget is for a dress. Then the bride can choose a dress at the lowest budget so that everyone is comfortably accommodated. Add-ons like shoes, hair, make-up - if the bride wants to OFFER to pay for them, fine. But a BM can certainly say "I'd be more comfortable wearing my own shoes." or "I'd rather not get my hair/make-up done, but thank you for offering to pay for it." And if the BM declines, that's that. The point is that BMs can decline and it doesn't mean they don't want to see the bride happy, or they're revolting in some way. It's really not that deep.

I think it's very nice that you paid for shoes, hair and make-up for your BMs and that they were happy. However, it's not ok for 1) brides to demand that their BMs pay for these things or 2) that the bride pay for it and demand that they get it done. 

I agree with what you are saying, my whole point with my post is I never had to force my bridesmaids to do anything. They all proactively came to me asking "how do you want us to do our hair", "how do you want our makeup done", "Where should we get our shoes/dresses?". And I know I would do the same for any of my girlfriends. It's the bride's special day and I would try and do anything in my power to make that happen for her. I would sacrifice one night of uncomfortable shoes for my best  friend if the shoes meant that much to her. And for hair and makeup (which they were all very excited about, nobody felt forced into it), I did not make them all do the same hairstyle or makeup. They all ended up doing the same make-up, but that was their choosing. I think the pictures came out great so I am definitely a proponent of matching shoes/dresses, but that's just me.

mbrooke2008

aefitz29 said:

Oh...mai...goodness this thread is still going?! Cloned hair styles are awful please tell me that's not happening...

@mobkaz love that GIF!

I cannot imagine paying for one of my friends and not the others. I feel when you select your MOH you are basically already singling her out from your friends and doing so further is not really fair. I could see that being hurtful to the other bridesmaids.

I agree, and wouldn't personally do this, but I have seen it happen a lot. I have seen MOH's have bouquets or wear different dresses even. My florist even asked if I would like my MOH to have a special bouquet.

MobKaz

mbrooke2008 said:

aefitz29 said:

Oh...mai...goodness this thread is still going?! Cloned hair styles are awful please tell me that's not happening...

@mobkaz love that GIF!

I cannot imagine paying for one of my friends and not the others. I feel when you select your MOH you are basically already singling her out from your friends and doing so further is not really fair. I could see that being hurtful to the other bridesmaids.

I agree, and wouldn't personally do this, but I have seen it happen a lot. I have seen MOH's have bouquets or wear different dresses even. My florist even asked if I would like my MOH to have a special bouquet.

I am not familiar with differentiating the MOH from the rest of the bridesmaids beyond their title. However, having their dress or bouquet differ slightly from the other women does not seem outrageous or impolite.  I am personally not a huge fan of identical dresses, but realize that such a trend, in some mindsets, is easier than trying to coordinate multiple looks.  

However, what is disturbing to me is this idea that the bridal party are mere props and must have a "look" so as not to ruin wedding pictures. Cloned hairstyles are absolutely still being demanded and required by women currently participating on these boards.  Worse than that, they are having to pay outrageous sums of money to pay for these hairstyles and professional make up.  The argument that "I had to do it therefore they will do it" is weak and wrong.  The argument that "no one complained" is ludicrous; it merely means you are fortunate to have a friend that puts your demands before their personal comfort.  (Not YOU, mbrooke and aefitz....the general "you").

When did wedding parties become more about pictures and  (hosting)parties than friendships?

PolarBearFitz

mobkaz said:

mbrooke2008 said:

aefitz29 said:

Oh...mai...goodness this thread is still going?! Cloned hair styles are awful please tell me that's not happening...

@mobkaz love that GIF!

I cannot imagine paying for one of my friends and not the others. I feel when you select your MOH you are basically already singling her out from your friends and doing so further is not really fair. I could see that being hurtful to the other bridesmaids.

I agree, and wouldn't personally do this, but I have seen it happen a lot. I have seen MOH's have bouquets or wear different dresses even. My florist even asked if I would like my MOH to have a special bouquet.

I am not familiar with differentiating the MOH from the rest of the bridesmaids beyond their title. However, having their dress or bouquet differ slightly from the other women does not seem outrageous or impolite.  I am personally not a huge fan of identical dresses, but realize that such a trend, in some mindsets, is easier than trying to coordinate multiple looks.  

However, what is disturbing to me is this idea that the bridal party are mere props and must have a "look" so as not to ruin wedding pictures. Cloned hairstyles are absolutely still being demanded and required by women currently participating on these boards.  Worse than that, they are having to pay outrageous sums of money to pay for these hairstyles and professional make up.  The argument that "I had to do it therefore they will do it" is weak and wrong.  The argument that "no one complained" is ludicrous; it merely means you are fortunate to have a friend that puts your demands before their personal comfort.  (Not YOU, mbrooke and aefitz....the general "you").

When did wedding parties become more about pictures and  (hosting)parties than friendships?

Exactly. Weddings are to share your lifelong commitment and love with both families and friends. Having a blast doing it doesn't hurt either.