Legally Married but PPD Wedding Later Complication - They are the same day.

blueobsidian

STBMrsEverhart said:

@TheFutureMrsRohlman22 - you're the ONLY one that has had the good sense to admit publicly that what is held as the gospel truth on this (and I assume other subjects) on TK is the consensus of opinions. There's NO WAY Emily Post (or any of her contemporaries) would have lowered herself to calling something a Pretty Princess Day. 

My FH and I do not HAVE to get married in Mexico, that's where we want to get married. No one we are friends with or are related to want us to spend literally 10 times the fees on a marriage license. And trust me, my mother who has been in healthcare for over 35 years, wants neither of us getting blood drawn in a 3rd world country. Not for any reason!!! 

If our friends and family are offended, I recommend they stay home. It's super easy to check "decline" on an RSVP and NOT book a trip to Mexico! We're super chill, we won't be offended. Requesting gifts not be given has nothing to do with the order we're signing our license then having a wedding ceremony and everything to do with the fact that it's my second wedding and we've lived together for 7 years - there's nothing we need or want our guests to give us. We'd like our friends and family to participate in an awesome trip, which we know will cost them plenty if they'd like to go. Accepting gifts (over and above their venturing out of the country) would just be obnoxious. Pretending as if gift-giving when attending a wedding isn't common practice is just stupid and childish. 

I'm just wondering what TK etiquette consensus is on having your own progeny at your own wedding (and I'm not even talking second or more weddings)? Or non-virgins wearing white, or a veil?  Or, bringing fake dicks out in public at bachelorettes parties? I could go on and on and on and on. Things change with time and circumstance. Personally, I think seeing a pregnant chick in a wedding gown is the single most ridiculous thing I can imagine. But if she cares enough about me to invite me and I care enough to go, I'll enjoy her hospitality as it is offered. 

Lastly, I'm not the least bit worried about not providing my guests graciousness and hospitality. This is FAR from FH's and mine's first foray in hosting anything. One thing for sure is we host killer parties! Now that I've covered every item directed toward me personally, versus the OP or anyone who would dare to throw one of these so-called "PPD's" I think I'm good :-)

So basically, you are asking your friends and family to spend a huge amount of money to travel and watch you play dress up.  Not only would I not book a trip to Mexico, I'd probably stop having a friendship with you if you were so self-centered as to expect me to spend what could be THOUSANDS of dollars and not even get to see you get married.  I go to a wedding to see people I love GET MARRIED, not play make believe.

I think that watching people have make believe events stops being cute once they pass the age of nine or ten.  Would you put on a fake graduation?  Baptism?  Funeral?  Then why would you do a fake recreation of a wedding?

mrs4everhart

Our wedding will be the only time my FH and I exchange vows, rings, etc. in the spirit of a wedding. I will not refer to him as my spouse until then, and he the same. I will not change my name until then either. Nothing will change until then for us. Like I said, anyone who wants to decline is welcome to.

manateehugger

STBMrsEverhart said:Our wedding will be the only time my FH and I exchange vows, rings, etc. in the spirit of a wedding. I will not refer to him as my spouse until then, and he the same. I will not change my name until then either. Nothing will change until then for us. Like I said, anyone who wants to decline is welcome to.

This absolutely does not help your case...especially the bolded. 

mrs4everhart

I'm not making a case. I'm simply explaining how things are being handled within our engagement since it's been questioned. None of it is up for negotiation, nor are we campaigning for anyone's approval. At 38 and 35 (the ages we'll be at the time of our wedding) we're certain of our marital decisions and are not looking for anyone's acceptance of how we live our lives or go about our marriage. My sole intent on this board, as I've repeated more than once, was to provide a different perspective than the so-called "consensus" for the OP. At some point my personal situation became of interest and I have no need to hide or be ashamed of it. I'll come correct all day long about our reasons for doing things as we have, as we will, as we have planned. Our chill attitude regarding other's feelings regarding what and how we do things is just that, chill. We're not going to be quizzing people about their feelings, why they may decline, so on and so forth, that's their situation. We'll be hosting a wedding next September regardless of who will be joining us. The more the merrier. If it's literally just the two of us, we'll still be over the moon. That won't be the case since the people closest to us are in full agreement. And if anyone harbors some secret disapproval or resentment we WANT them to stay home. Life's too short to go to Mexico all mad! No harm, no foul, we'll be ok no matter what people decide! They can come to our at-home reception when we get back to the states, or not. Whatever's clever. 

artbyallie

STBMrsEverhart said:

@TheFutureMrsRohlman22 - you're the ONLY one that has had the good sense to admit publicly that what is held as the gospel truth on this (and I assume other subjects) on TK is the consensus of opinions. There's NO WAY Emily Post (or any of her contemporaries) would have lowered herself to calling something a Pretty Princess Day. 

My FH and I do not HAVE to get married in Mexico, that's where we want to get married. No one we are friends with or are related to want us to spend literally 10 times the fees on a marriage license. And trust me, my mother who has been in healthcare for over 35 years, wants neither of us getting blood drawn in a 3rd world country. Not for any reason!!! 

If our friends and family are offended, I recommend they stay home. It's super easy to check "decline" on an RSVP and NOT book a trip to Mexico! We're super chill, we won't be offended. Requesting gifts not be given has nothing to do with the order we're signing our license then having a wedding ceremony and everything to do with the fact that it's my second wedding and we've lived together for 7 years - there's nothing we need or want our guests to give us. We'd like our friends and family to participate in an awesome trip, which we know will cost them plenty if they'd like to go. Accepting gifts (over and above their venturing out of the country) would just be obnoxious. Pretending as if gift-giving when attending a wedding isn't common practice is just stupid and childish. 

I'm just wondering what TK etiquette consensus is on having your own progeny at your own wedding (and I'm not even talking second or more weddings)? Or non-virgins wearing white, or a veil?  Or, bringing fake dicks out in public at bachelorettes parties? I could go on and on and on and on. Things change with time and circumstance. Personally, I think seeing a pregnant chick in a wedding gown is the single most ridiculous thing I can imagine. But if she cares enough about me to invite me and I care enough to go, I'll enjoy her hospitality as it is offered. 

Lastly, I'm not the least bit worried about not providing my guests graciousness and hospitality. This is FAR from FH's and mine's first foray in hosting anything. One thing for sure is we host killer parties! Now that I've covered every item directed toward me personally, versus the OP or anyone who would dare to throw one of these so-called "PPD's" I think I'm good :-)

The bolded is where I stopped. Maybe someone else can answer this better than I, but is Mexico really considered a 'third world country?'

crunchymamaof2

@artbyallie  not according to this. I mean, do people really think Mexico is considered a 3rd World Country? Or do they know something we don't?

OliveOilsMom

STBMrsEverhart said:

I'm not making a case. I'm simply explaining how things are being handled within our engagement since it's been questioned. None of it is up for negotiation, nor are we campaigning for anyone's approval. At 38 and 35 (the ages we'll be at the time of our wedding) we're certain of our marital decisions and are not looking for anyone's acceptance of how we live our lives or go about our marriage. My sole intent on this board, as I've repeated more than once, was to provide a different perspective than the so-called "consensus" for the OP. At some point my personal situation became of interest and I have no need to hide or be ashamed of it. I'll come correct all day long about our reasons for doing things as we have, as we will, as we have planned. Our chill attitude regarding other's feelings regarding what and how we do things is just that, chill. We're not going to be quizzing people about their feelings, why they may decline, so on and so forth, that's their situation. We'll be hosting a wedding next September regardless of who will be joining us. The more the merrier. If it's literally just the two of us, we'll still be over the moon. That won't be the case since the people closest to us are in full agreement. And if anyone harbors some secret disapproval or resentment we WANT them to stay home. Life's too short to go to Mexico all mad! No harm, no foul, we'll be ok no matter what people decide! They can come to our at-home reception when we get back to the states, or not. Whatever's clever. 

So your having your wedding ceremony in your home state, a fake wedding redo in Mexico, and then still having an AHR?????  Wow!  But yet, it's not about the gifts?

Also, so your aware, in addition to all the other wrong information you spouted previously, the reason that brides wear white is not to symbolize purity.  It's because Queen Victoria wore a white wedding gown in a time, when no one wore white because it was so expensive and difficult to keep it clean.  The fad caught on.  And at some point people starting saying it meant the bride was pure. 

arrippa

 

STBMrsEverhart said:

@TheFutureMrsRohlman22 - you're the ONLY one that has had the good sense to admit publicly that what is held as the gospel truth on this (and I assume other subjects) on TK is the consensus of opinions. There's NO WAY Emily Post (or any of her contemporaries) would have lowered herself to calling something a Pretty Princess Day. 

My FH and I do not HAVE to get married in Mexico, that's where we want to get married. No one we are friends with or are related to want us to spend literally 10 times the fees on a marriage license. And trust me, my mother who has been in healthcare for over 35 years, wants neither of us getting blood drawn in a 3rd world country. Not for any reason!!! 

If our friends and family are offended, I recommend they stay home. It's super easy to check "decline" on an RSVP and NOT book a trip to Mexico! We're super chill, we won't be offended. Requesting gifts not be given has nothing to do with the order we're signing our license then having a wedding ceremony and everything to do with the fact that it's my second wedding and we've lived together for 7 years - there's nothing we need or want our guests to give us. We'd like our friends and family to participate in an awesome trip, which we know will cost them plenty if they'd like to go. Accepting gifts (over and above their venturing out of the country) would just be obnoxious. Pretending as if gift-giving when attending a wedding isn't common practice is just stupid and childish. 

I'm just wondering what TK etiquette consensus is on having your own progeny at your own wedding (and I'm not even talking second or more weddings)? Or non-virgins wearing white, or a veil?  Or, bringing fake dicks out in public at bachelorettes parties? I could go on and on and on and on. Things change with time and circumstance. Personally, I think seeing a pregnant chick in a wedding gown is the single most ridiculous thing I can imagine. But if she cares enough about me to invite me and I care enough to go, I'll enjoy her hospitality as it is offered. 

Lastly, I'm not the least bit worried about not providing my guests graciousness and hospitality. This is FAR from FH's and mine's first foray in hosting anything. One thing for sure is we host killer parties! Now that I've covered every item directed toward me personally, versus the OP or anyone who would dare to throw one of these so-called "PPD's" I think I'm good :-)

Oh honey, your ignorance is showing.

You are wrong on so many things in here, Mexico being a third world country, about only virgins wearing white and veils and opinions on etiquette boards. Maybe instead of throwing a tantrum you should spend your time on google. At the very least, go to dictionary.com and look up etiquette.

You are many things but you are not "good".

mrs4everhart

No tantrums here. No need. I'm not upset. No need to be. I'm amused to pieces by all of this really. My FH and I are happily getting married next year with our friends and family in tow with our toes in the sand on a beach in tropical paradise. What's for me to be upset about? A bunch of strangers on the Internet getting their knickers in a twist bc they think they've got wedding etiquette on lockdown? Sure, hang on while a try to lower my blood pressure. SMH.

mrs4everhart

What part of "no gifts, please" is not clear? We don't want gifts. We're not registering anywhere. There will be no shower, or bar stocking, or anything of the sort. Neither of us are interested in receiving gifts, which has already been mentioned above. There's nothing to redo, that would indicate there's anything remotely similar in the two processes, which there isn't. One involves court fees, paperwork, metal detectors, my divorce decree, signing paperwork. The other involves vows, rings, family, friends, a beach and love. I wouldn't travel out of the country to reenact signing a government form.

mimiphin

STBMrsEverhart said:

My FH and I do not HAVE to get married in Mexico, that's where we want to get married.

 

 

What part of "no gifts, please" is not clear? We don't want gifts. We're not registering anywhere. There will be no shower, or bar stocking, or anything of the sort. Neither of us are interested in receiving gifts, which has already been mentioned above. There's nothing to redo, that would indicate there's anything remotely similar in the two processes, which there isn't. One involves court fees, paperwork, metal detectors, my divorce decree, signing paperwork. The other involves vows, rings, family, friends, a beach and love. I wouldn't travel out of the country to reenact signing a government form.

So a JOP isn't a wedding is what you're saying?

When you sign the government form that is when you get married. That's all there is to it.

Also if you are going to Mexico because "that's where we want to get married" but you're not getting married there? What about Hawaii, Jamaica (cost is $50usd for a licence), Cuba, Turks and Caicos that all don't require a blood test if that is your main reason against doing this?

 

Pepper6

STBMrsEverhart said:

No tantrums here. No need. I'm not upset. No need to be. I'm amused to pieces by all of this really. My FH and I are happily getting married next year with our friends and family in tow with our toes in the sand on a beach in tropical paradise. What's for me to be upset about? A bunch of strangers on the Internet getting their knickers in a twist bc they think they've got wedding etiquette on lockdown? Sure, hang on while a try to lower my blood pressure. SMH.

The problem here is that you are using your anecdotal story to tell people that what you are doing is okay.  According to the rules of etiquette (and yes, there are actual rules, not just opinions), it is NOT okay to do a PPD.  However, it is still up to your discretion to follow the rules or not.

For example, I regularly drive about 5-10 miles over the limit.  It's very common, especially on the freeway.  So while it's accepted and pretty regular, it is still against the law.  

Since this is an etiquette board, we tell people what the actual rules of etiquette are.  Just like if you were to ask a police officer, they would tell you what the actual speed limits are.  Whether you choose to follow them or not is at your own risk (ie, your guests could be talking shit about your plans behind your back, just as easily as you risk getting pulled over for speeding).

mrs4everhart

As I asked early on, I'd like a link to unequivocal proof that there really is a breach of etiquette. By an actual expert on the subject, not general consensus on a message board. I'm not truly expecting this, it just shows I care about the difference between facts and opinions.

I've also already stated our guests are free to make their own decisions and plans. If they take issue with our plans and still participate, exercising their own free-will to travel pissed off, they're in the wrong, not us. As adults, my FH and I do not actively participate in things we do not agree with. If others do we won't be loosing sleep over it.

WildMagelet

Ask and ye shall receive.  Miss Manners on the matter of PPDs.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/01/28/AR2006012800896.html

Pepper6

STBMrsEverhart said:

As I asked early on, I'd like a link to unequivocal proof that there really is a breach of etiquette. By an actual expert on the subject, not general consensus on a message board. I'm not truly expecting this, it just shows I care about the difference between facts and opinions. I've also already stated our guests are free to make their own decisions and plans. If they take issue with our plans and still participate, exercising their own free-will to travel pissed off, they're in the wrong, not us. As adults, my FH and I do not actively participate in things we do not agree with. If others do we won't be loosing sleep over it.

That's not true at all.  Just because people don't complain about it to your face, doesn't mean it's okay for you to do it.  Do you honestly think you wouldn't hold a grudge against your own family if they declined to attend because they told you it was stupid to spend that much money on a PPD?  They probably figured it was easier to give in than to hurt your feelings, but that doesn't mean they can't still be annoyed by it.

If my sister did something like this, I'd probably tell her it was dumb, but I'd still go because she's my sister and I love her.  But I wouldn't be happy about it....and that doesn't make me the asshole.

antibride2013

STBMrsEverhart said:

As I asked early on, I'd like a link to unequivocal proof that there really is a breach of etiquette. By an actual expert on the subject, not general consensus on a message board. I'm not truly expecting this, it just shows I care about the difference between facts and opinions. I've also already stated our guests are free to make their own decisions and plans. If they take issue with our plans and still participate, exercising their own free-will to travel pissed off, they're in the wrong, not us. As adults, my FH and I do not actively participate in things we do not agree with. If others do we won't be loosing sleep over it.

STBMrsEverhart stated that each and every one of her guests that are spending so much money to go to Mexico for her PPD in fact KNOWS the couple will already be married....

STBMrsEverhart?

PrettyGirlLost

STBMrsEverhart said:

As I asked early on, I'd like a link to unequivocal proof that there really is a breach of etiquette. By an actual expert on the subject, not general consensus on a message board. I'm not truly expecting this, it just shows I care about the difference between facts and opinions. I've also already stated our guests are free to make their own decisions and plans. If they take issue with our plans and still participate, exercising their own free-will to travel pissed off, they're in the wrong, not us. As adults, my FH and I do not actively participate in things we do not agree with. If others do we won't be loosing sleep over it.

It's called common freaking sense.  It's not hard to figure out why PPDs are impolite.  And if it is that hard for you to comprehend at your age, then try reading the post at the top of this forum: http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/996776/legally-married-now-having-a-real-wedding-stop-here-first-aka-the-ppd-faq-thread/p1

Here it is in a nutshell:

A wedding is when two people are legally married.  It doesn't matter if they are married at the JOP, in Vegas by Elvis, or standing in a cathedral in a huge white dress at an altar, the moment that a couple becomes legally married is their wedding.

If you get married, then fly off to Mexico, you are not having a wedding, you are having a PPD or a reenactment.  You are not a bride, you are already a wife, whether or not you said vows, exchanged rings, etc.  Your marriage was already legally valid and binding.  Thus your guests are not witnessing a marriage or a wedding but a reenactment. . . and it is a waste of their time and money.

Why are you choosing to have a PPD in Mexico and then another at home reception on top of it all?  Why can't you just wait and have your dream day on the same day as your actual marriage?

PPDs are always about choice.  And that's why we get annoyed with everyone trying to rationalize and justify their poor choice 6 ways to Sunday.  We have heard all of the excuses before.

Don't want to get raked over the coals for having a fake, wedding redo?  Then make the choice to wait to get married.

PrettyGirlLost

bubbles053009 said:

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the whole blood work thing. Why the hell would you need to have blood work done to get married in another country?

You have to get blood work done in several states to get married in this country. . . I believe it is to make sure you aren't genetically related, and to check for undisclosed STDs and possible genetic disorders that might affect future offspring.

mimiphin

bubbles053009 said:

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the whole blood work thing. Why the hell would you need to have blood work done to get married in another country?

It use to be a requirement that in order to get married you needed to be tested to ensure you were clean against STD, (syphilis) HIV and to find out your blood type. My parents had to do it and it was very common until about 20 years ago.

WildMagelet

bubbles053009 said:

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the whole blood work thing. Why the hell would you need to have blood work done to get married in another country?

Some places require that you get your blood tested for HIV and other STDs beforehand.  It's also used to determine your Rh in regards to compatibility for pregnancy.

mrs4everhart

The act of signing a marriage license and paying a filing fee and a wedding are not the same thing in my view, no. Only one of the two is legally binding, the other can be symbolic, religious or both.

We chose Mexico because that is where we'd like to host our symbolic wedding ceremony for a bunch of reasons, the most important of which being ease of travel for our invited guests. The blood test doesn't interest us, nor the hundreds of dollars of fees when we can spend 20 minutes and $30. We will be taking care of this part before 2014, we will not be dealing with Obamacare when FH can be put on my insurance. Months or days, it doesn't matter to us how long the state of Colorado and the federal government views our union. We know our intentions, as I've made clear, that's all that matters to us.

NYCMercedes

Copied from @flutterbride2b's citation of Miss Manners is that "Her objection is to the repetition -- and therefore dilution -- of the ceremony, not to the celebration." Yes, she said party on, but don't dilute marriage ceremonies. Why would you dilute your marriage vows?

mrs4everhart

I'm not worried about being "raked over the coals" - I've already said I think this whole conversation is hysterically amusing!

mrs4everhart

Some states in the US and some countries still require bloodwork. Colorado doesn't.

photokitty

STBMrsEverhart said:

As I asked early on, I'd like a link to unequivocal proof that there really is a breach of etiquette. By an actual expert on the subject, not general consensus on a message board. I'm not truly expecting this, it just shows I care about the difference between facts and opinions. I've also already stated our guests are free to make their own decisions and plans. If they take issue with our plans and still participate, exercising their own free-will to travel pissed off, they're in the wrong, not us. As adults, my FH and I do not actively participate in things we do not agree with. If others do we won't be loosing sleep over it.

As someone who doesn't tow the hard and fast etiquette line on all matter on here (meaning I give a little leeway to people's personal choice on some matters) I will answer your question...Miss Manners broaches the subject. 

**While I was Googling @flutterbride2b gave you an excellent one...**

flutterbride2b said:

Ask and ye shall receive.  Miss Manners on the matter of PPDs.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/01/28/AR2006012800896.html

I found that and two more:

http://articles.washingtonpost.com/2011-07-23/lifestyle/35237685_1_civil-ceremony-anniversaries-bridesmaids

http://articles.washingtonpost.com/2013-07-01/lifestyle/40303748_1_wicks-baby-dark-ages

Everyone one only has one wedding - when you are legally married - unless they get divorced and remarried. You can choose to have additional "demonstrations" (as I'll call them bc I too don't care for the term PPD), but they will not and cannot be your wedding. 

What you are doing is a breach of etiquette, but it is your choice and you are allowed to do whatever you want. You just aren't gong to get away with calling it proper or polite on this forum.

LIke I said, I give a lot of leeway and I personally wouldn't be offended to go to a demonstration of love after the actual marriage. I would support my friends and be happy for them - but it still doesn't change that it is breaking etiquette. 

I hope this helps you realize there are etiquette experts behind the rational of folks on this subject. You have made your choice, own it and stop trying to defend it. You will not change the opinions of those railing against you as they have etiquette experts on their side and you have no argument besides your personal opinion - sorry. Life is short and we all have to make our own choices, you have made yours (and if I was your friend I would not hold it against you).

GL!

Dreamergirl8812

STBMrsEverhart said:

The act of signing a marriage license and paying a filing fee and a wedding are not the same thing in my view, no. Only one of the two is legally binding, the other can be symbolic, religious or both. We chose Mexico because that is where we'd like to host our symbolic wedding ceremony for a bunch of reasons, the most important of which being ease of travel for our invited guests. The blood test doesn't interest us, nor the hundreds of dollars of fees when we can spend 20 minutes and $30. We will be taking care of this part before 2014, we will not be dealing with Obamacare when FH can be put on my insurance. Months or days, it doesn't matter to us how long the state of Colorado and the federal government views our union. We know our intentions, as I've made clear, that's all that matters to us.

So the "wedding" me and my friend had in second grade is valid? Shit.

::Runs off to make phone calls::

mrs4everhart

We haven't recited any vows yet. Not part of signing a marriage license in Denver city and county. Thank you though for taking the time to actually investigate the etiquette legitimacy!

mimiphin

STBMrsEverhart said:

The act of signing a marriage license and paying a filing fee and a wedding are not the same thing in my view, no. Only one of the two is legally binding, the other can be symbolic, religious or both.

 

We chose Mexico because that is where we'd like to host our symbolic wedding ceremony for a bunch of reasons, the most important of which being ease of travel for our invited guests. The blood test doesn't interest us, nor the hundreds of dollars of fees when we can spend 20 minutes and $30. We will be taking care of this part before 2014, we will not be dealing with Obamacare when FH can be put on my insurance. Months or days, it doesn't matter to us how long the state of Colorado and the federal government views our union. We know our intentions, as I've made clear, that's all that matters to us. 

Damn it stuck in box:

 

Oh good lord! So again I ask, in your opinion those who had a JOP's (or only one wedding) aren't married.

To summarise you are having a wedding, then a fake wedding (which not everyone knows), and then a reception for the fake wedding, and the reason for the fake wedding is because it's to hard to get married in Mexico..... 

 

To the OP, I am sorry for you thread getting hijacked like this.

 

photokitty

STBMrsEverhart said:

We haven't recited any vows yet. Not part of signing a marriage license in Denver city and county. Thank you though for taking the time to actually investigate the etiquette legitimacy!

Vows are not what makes you married. It is the license and the person with the authority saying "I now pronounce you man and wife." The vows have nothing to do with it. You state your intention to marry when you get the license and it only needs that statement from someone with the vested power to make it valid. This is why they never say that line at the rehearsal.

If a minister wanted to be a real jerk they could stand outside the courthouse and pronounce people married! DH's close friend married us and he would start the sentence every time he saw us after we picked up the license just to mess with us. 

You can want the vows, symbolic stuff and other crud to be what makes you married, but it's not. 

This thread isn't even amusing anymore...moving on. 

Happy Friday!!

PrettyGirlLost

STBMrsEverhart said:

The act of signing a marriage license and paying a filing fee and a wedding are not the same thing in my view, no. Only one of the two is legally binding, the other can be symbolic, religious or both. We chose Mexico because that is where we'd like to host our symbolic wedding ceremony for a bunch of reasons, the most important of which being ease of travel for our invited guests. The blood test doesn't interest us, nor the hundreds of dollars of fees when we can spend 20 minutes and $30. We will be taking care of this part before 2014, we will not be dealing with Obamacare when FH can be put on my insurance. Months or days, it doesn't matter to us how long the state of Colorado and the federal government views our union. We know our intentions, as I've made clear, that's all that matters to us.

A ha!  You are having a PPD because of health insurance reasons!  I knew there had to be some sort of benefit at the heart of all of this.  There is almost always some federal or government benefit ppl are trying to scam when they come on here with their "special circumstance"  PPD stories.

Also, your comments don't make you sound sentimental or spiritual, they just make you sound cheap, frankly.