The Backstory: This past March my then boyfriend's little sister announced her engagement to her boyfriend. A few months later in May, my boyfriend proposed. His sister set her date in May the following year. My fiancé and I discussed it and decided on April. I had my heart set on a spring wedding, and after dating for 6 years and living together for 4 years I wasn't too keen on a long engagement. I asked him to speak to his sister first. He said she was fine, but a bit later we got this long email about how it was important to her that we attend all of her pre-wedding events and that our wedding was sucking the joy out of hers. They resolved it, and she and I have had fun passing ideas back and forth since then.
The Problem: I had expected that I would need to spend 300-500 to travel for her bachelorette and budgeted accordingly. To my shock and surprise, I opened an email from her MOH this evening letting us all know that the weekend would cost about 2000 dollars. I feel absolutely awful, but simply cannot afford to spend this much. I keep thinking - if this was my little sister (which she will be), would I make it work? I don't know that I would. I think I'd offer to plan something local for those who couldn't make it. What would you do?
Re: Extravagant Bachelorette
Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope.
Also, nope.
This is my reaction to a $2,000 bachelorette. You asked, "If it was my little sister...would I make it work?" To which I would reply: I damn well hope not! If that was actually your little sister, I'd smack her across the face and scream, "Do you have any fucking idea what your crazy MOH is planning, sis?"
I'd respectfully decline and honestly tell your FSIL you'd like to attend, but cannot afford to go. Wish her the best and ask to see pictures when she returns. (Normally I don't think you need to provide a reason, but in this case, since she's "family," I would.)
One of my bridesmaids tried to plan something like this. I was like ummm, first of all not everyone can get 2 days off for a long weekend and it's way too expensive. My MOH was also ALREADY planning a Bach party that will be the night of the bridal shower up in the NYC area where she and my parents live.
I think you made the right call. However, your FSIL should have nixed this if she really wanted everyone to come.
As other people have suggested, my other bridesmaid asked if she could put together a girls night in DC (where we live) instead, since she can't make it to NYC, and I happily excepted. This may be a great solution if you can find a weekend.