OLW

Swazzle

Dear work:

Fuck you. 

**********

Dear H: 

Thank you for being so amazing since I started on this new desk. I know I've been tired and stressed and cranky a lot of the time and I'm so grateful that you're able and willing to put up with me while I adjust. 

**********

Dear Bri, Sak, Sous, Buddy and Liv:

NINE DAYS. As in, NEXT WEEKEND! I can't wait to see you and drink all the pumpkin beer and eat all the nutella orgasm midnight cupcakes.

CLoGreenEyes

Dear Swazzle,

I have a ridiculous question. Do you pronounce your SN with the "a" as in "father" or as in "apple"? Inquiring minds want to know! Or possibly just my weird one.

Sincerely,

I just want to pronounce it properly in my head when I read it

***

Dear BF,

I'm just really sorry. I'm sorry for having no time or energy to give our relationship, and I'm sorry for the effects it's having. But I just don't know what to do about it. I'm really kind of scared to see what happens during the rest of nursing school if this is the way it is so early on.

Love,

Your GF who is really failing at being one right now

***

Dear Mom,

I'm sorry to you too. I haven't been doing much around the house. I promise I will at least make dinner once before the week is over and clean some stuff.

Love,

Your daughter who never intended to be a deadbeat

***

Dear body,

Can we please stop craving pizza and Chick-fil-A french fries??????

Sincerely,

Eat a damn banana or something

***

Dear next week,

Please have mercy on me. A skills eval, a huge exam, my mother-baby careplan, and a simulation - what was I thinking?

Sincerely,

I just want all of it to be over

***

Dear self,

It's not impossible. You can get through nursing school, especially because I know you WANT to be a good nurse. This is going to suck at times, as you've noticed, but it can be done, and it is worth it.

Love,

Yourself, who probably isn't the most convincing pep talker, but still

[Deleted User]

Dear potential job interviews today,

One of you I know is for a staffing company that will hopefully help find me a job but I'm excited about it because they fill jobs that I like so I hope they find me something good and the other one is at a chiropractor which I enjoy working with since that's where I worked in college. So I hope you both go well.

Love,
potential employee?

Dear pantry,

You are empty and FI wants to start Whole30 next week...I'm not excited because that means I can't eat pasta or drink alcohol : (. At least we can eat fish though.

No love,
Going to be really cranky girl

Dear FI's bachelor party this weekend,

Please don't get eaten by bears or bitten by snakes and other creatures. I want to marry this man and if he gets hurt running around in the woods, I won't be happy.

love,
His future wife!

Swazzle

Amapola14: The A as in 'father'. 

CLoGreenEyes

@swazzle, okay, I was doing it right. Haha, thanks!

beanbot2002

@swazzle : DAMMIT I'VE BEEN PRONOUNCING IT WITH THE A AS IN 'APPLE' THIS WHOLE DAMN TIME! CHANGE IT NOW!

BTW, you were in my dream last night. There was an ice skating rink. I think we were in Italy or Spain. It was weird.

Love,

Get outta my dreams, and into my car (please remember that song)

*******************************************

Dear wee one:

I can't believe my intuition was off! I'm really sorry for lusting after pink things this whole time. Now it's gonna be all about the BLUE! Dad, Bean, and I can't wait to meet you. 4 more months!!

Sincerely,

That chick who's your host until March

*********************************************

Dear Trainer:

You're awesome and amazing. Thank you for loving Bean and I so much.

Love,

Your sister from another mister

**********************************************

Dear Mom:

I can't begin to thank you enough for the new bed. What a wonderful surprise and treat! I haven't slept this well in YEARS! I'm almost getting a full, uniterupted, night of sleep. I mean I have to switch sides every once in a while, but not nearly as much as with the old bed. And waking up NOT in pain is mother fucking glorious! My hips and my back have deemed you their savior.

LOVE LOVE LOVE,

The daughter who can been an unbelievable, stubborn, pain in the ass

 

 

Swazzle

@beanbot2002 - Uh, can we make that dream a reality? I'm calling the baby: 'Baby Blue' so that when he's born, I can say "YOU'RE MY BOY, BLUE!"

KeptInStitches

Dear school health insurance plan,

Going away at the end of December? Not cool. Didn't we just do this in April/May? Hope the school continues to cover me ...

No love,

Broke-ass grad student

---

Dear special order-er,

It should really say something about you that you asking if I'm going to my parents' hometown this weekend comes across as I'm not getting the knitted dice bag done soon enough. You were a complete asshead about the baby blanket. Shall we try again?

No love,

Wouldn't have taken this if I hadn't lost two special orders and my spot in my regular show

minskat30

@beanbot2002 - Congrats!!!!

@swazzle and @amapola14 - I'm sorry work and school, respectively, are stressing you out.

@southernpeach89 - No alcohol sounds like hell but I'm wishing you luck!

@bubbles053009 - Good luck with the job search.

------------------------------------------------

Dear H,

Thank you for being so patient and understanding.  I'm stressed to the max with work and life decisions and I'm so glad you are by my side through this even when you are working 16+ hour days yourself.

Your Partner In Crime

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear God and Life Situation,

Please give me a little guidance on what the right choices are.

Confused

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Self,

Fake it till you make it.

Determined.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Trainer,

Please don't make me do burpees today.

Going to be sore

 

loves2shop4shoes

Dear Former Boss,

You, sir, are a douchecanoe.  I can now see why your office has been a revolving door of staff people.  You are a bully and a coward.  Firing someone because she took 45 minutes to listen to a voicemail that she knew was not urgent, when she was BUSY working on something you claimed WAS urgent, is INSANE.  IN-FUCKING-SANE.  Was it really that reason, or did you really just fire me because you couldn't bully me into submission over something as stupid as a VOICEMAIL from a client thanking me for sending them a wedding present?!

No love, ever, in fact, quite the opposite,

Girl who hopes you get explosive diarrhea.  For a year.  The kind where you're standing around and WHAM! you've just shit yourself
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear H,

I am very sorry that this happened with my job.  I completely understand the financial devastation we are now BACK in.  I swear, I didn't get fired on purpose. 

I really, really need your love and support.  I need you to tell me it's not my fault.  I need you to support me and lift me up.  And you're not really doing that.  You're sort of moping. 

And I understand that you are crushed yourself.  And after all of these months of me being jobless, you probably don't have the strength to put on a happy face anymore.  But can we work on it?  I really need you.

Your wife.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear All of You Hoars on NEY,

Thank you so much for your constant, unconditional source of love, support, and sound advice.  I can't believe I have so many amazing friends, from so many walks of life, all over the country.  I am truly blessed to have you, and I appreciate you SO much.

You've seen me through so much, and have helped me grow and mature.  I love you.

Yours, forever,

Shoes
-------------------------------------------------------------

Dear @suzie211 and @minskat30,

Thank you so much for this past weekend.  And thank you for immediately offering to have me over on Friday to drink and vent about this work stuff.  I just met you, and I can't believe how supportive you both are being. 

So glad to have friends in Chicago now.  Especially glad they're as awesome as you two are. 

BFF IRL?

Love,

Shoes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Brother and Brother's BF,

Thank you so much for coming over the night I got fired, and holding me while I sobbed.  Thank you for the Sephora giftcard to cheer me up.  Thank you for inviting me over for dinner last night.

I'm so glad I have you. 

Love,

Sister
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Job Gods,

Let's try this again.

Love,

Re-grasps Rosary Beads

minskat30

@loves2shop4shoes - IRL for SURE!  I'll see you on Friday lady.  You can do it, I know you can.  I've been thinking of you and sending you positive vibes.

GoldenPenguin

Dear Swazzle, Liv, Buddy, Sous, and Sak,

Me, S2H, Vi, and Monster are SO excited for you to take over our apartment next weekend. ALL the beers, ALL the cupcakes, ALL the laughing, ALL the hockey (OOO that reminds me, bring something red to wear to the game, this is important), ALL the Mean Girls (I can't wait for you to see how much S2H loves this movie), ALL THE SNUGGLESSSSS. 

I mean, I'm totally not excited. Psh.

Love,

Your BriBQ

****************

Dear BF,

I love you & your playoff beard, my little Dustin Pedroia twin. #fearthebeards

GO SOX!

Love,

GF

****************

Dear K,

It's been eight years that you've been gone, and it hit me really hard this year. I miss you so much. I am so happy, with my job and my life, and I just KNOW you had something to do with it. You always wanted me to be in sports info, and here I am, working with hockey again, and I feel like you're cheering me on. The crazy influx of ladybugs the other day solidified it.

I'll always be your #41.

Love you,

Me.

CASK85

Dear body, 

Don't get sick. Don't get sick. Don't get sick! I know everyone in the lab is sick and  you are starting to feel icky, but please for the loveofgod fight it off! I will give you lots of zinc and water and sleep!

Thinking healthy thoughts, 

Person who lives in you who has no time for this shit

************

Dear Congress, 

Get your shit together today!

No love,

Concerned Citizen

**********

Dear thesis, 

Please write yourself. 

Thanks,

C

doubleSS07

Dear supervisor lady,

I JUST drove an hour and a half to get to work in torential downpour, please for you to get OUT OF MY ASS first thing especially when you spent the last 15 mins. talking to your bank about your broken ATM card.

Sincerely,

Irritated co-worker

Dear R,

I am tired of being made to feel like me and my opinions, thoughts, etc are not correct if they are not yours.  You have your child and husband to boss and control.  I am supposed to be a friend but instead I'm feeling like a competitor all the time.  This does not bode well for friendship.  get it together.

Your friend with her own mind

Dear Hubby,

I lurve you very much.  Thanks for letting me vent

Love,

Your wifey

Hummingbird125

Dear BF,

I'm sorry I was a little moody with you last night after finding out my old friend got engaged. I know it is unfair to compare any other relationship to ours, but lately I feel like everyone I know is getting engaged and it just makes me a little sad because I feel like that is so far away for us. A little bit of reassuring will go a long way with me.

Love,

Your trying not to be frustrated GF

---------------------------------------------------------

Dear parents of the kid I babysit,

I don't know how you expect me to get her to pick out clothes when you can't even do it. Maybe if you put your foot down every once in a while she'd start listening when I tell her what to do.

Very frustrated babysitter

---------------------------------------------------------

Dear Etsy Shoppers,

Buy from me! I promise I will do absolutely everything to make sure you're happy with your purchase so JUST DO IT.

Best,

Gala Print Shop :-)

--------------------------------------------------------

Dear pupdog,

You are so damn cute. I want to snuggle with you all day every day, but I also need to pay the bills.

Love,

Mommy

-----------------------------------------------------

GoldenPenguin

^^Same with the pathetic dog faces. Violet has somehow learned how to make herself look even more sad and pathetic lately. She already has giant eyes, and she makes them SO big, and just stares at us. I tell her that if I didn't have to feed her such expensive food, I wouldn't have to work, but she doesn't seem to believe me. 

This was the other morning. I couldn't even.

GoldenPenguin

Mother effer. Here she is. I hope.

GoldenPenguin

bubbles053009 said:

@BriSox81 Your dog is so adorable! Mine in just pathetic in general sometimes. When some one is eating he will literally place his head in your lap and look at you with these sad, brown eyes. It's funny until he really tries hard to get your food.

Ha! She does the same thing, just not when you're eating. We make her lay on her bed when we're eating so she doesn't beg, and it's just the saddest thing you've ever seen. 

Case in point: 

Blackbird230

Dear BF,

Thank you so much for letting me come de-stress last night. And watching Grease when you didn't really want to. Even though you ended up loving it and getting a solution for work from it. I love you.

Love,

A much cheerier hormonal GF

*****

Dear BF's parents,

Thanks for the work advice this morning. It worked!

Sincerely,

Accident minimization, right?

*******

Dear Boss,

I'm glad we had that talk this morning. Life seems just a bit better. Just please keep to your word.

Sincerely,

I'm a lot less stressed.

beanbot2002

Swazzle said:

@beanbot2002 - Uh, can we make that dream a reality? I'm calling the baby: 'Baby Blue' so that when he's born, I can say "YOU'RE MY BOY, BLUE!"

I think this definitely needs to be reality. I fell on my ass in the dream, while wearing a very small, very tight red mini dress. I'm not sure we want that part to be reality, though. LOL

labro

@beanbot Congratulations!

***

Dear Puppy,

I'm with @Hummingbird125 here. I wish I could snuggle your sweet little face all day long, every day. I'm so thankful I get to work from home a couple days a week so we get more time together!

Love,

Your Mommy

***

Dear Little Sister's Friend,

I'm proud of you for putting on your big girl panties and withdrawing your RSVP to the bachelorette party. I did what I could to make it affordable for everyone and gave everyone months of warning as to what to expect cost-wise. It's your own fault for not properly budgeting ahead of time like the rest of us did and I'm glad you were big enough to admit that you couldn't afford to go anymore. I'm also glad I now have one less person to babysit at the party.

kthxbai

***

Dear @southernpeach89,

I love you and I'm proud of you! You are an amazing, intelligent, and talented woman and you have big things ahead of you in life. I'm so glad we're sisters. Also, we are going to have one kick-ass bachelorette party next weekend!

Love,

Your awesomesauce big sister

***

 

GoldenPenguin

beanbot2002 said:

Swazzle said:

@beanbot2002 - Uh, can we make that dream a reality? I'm calling the baby: 'Baby Blue' so that when he's born, I can say "YOU'RE MY BOY, BLUE!"

I think this definitely needs to be reality. I fell on my ass in the dream, while wearing a very small, very tight red mini dress. I'm not sure we want that part to be reality, though. LOL

You guys were getting married, weren't you? SURPRISE ICE RINK WEDDDINGGGGG!!! @Swazzle must have made a mean Engagement Chicken.

motoLyn

Dear Stomach,

CALM the eff down you're killing me here.  What do you want me to put in you so you can settle down?  You're making my morning such a bummer.

Sincerely,
What do you WANT?


Dear Pregnant Ladies of NEY and soon to be pregnant ladies,

I wish you all the best and hope those little misters and misses are happy healthy babies!  We need more adorable baby pics along with the cute fur baby pics.

Love,
Moar babies please



Dear Bed,

I wish I was with you RIGHT this minute, you and I should have never parted. 

Love,
Dreaming of you


Dear loves2shoeshop,

I know that what just happened was a totally let down and crappy for you.  But I know you're going to take what you learned there along with what you already know and going to kick ass at the next place.  You know how I know this.... cause I just KNOW!  We're all here for you and if you ever need anything you just ask.

Love,
West Coast Cheerleader

beanbot2002

BriSox81 said:

beanbot2002 said:

Swazzle said:

@beanbot2002 - Uh, can we make that dream a reality? I'm calling the baby: 'Baby Blue' so that when he's born, I can say "YOU'RE MY BOY, BLUE!"

I think this definitely needs to be reality. I fell on my ass in the dream, while wearing a very small, very tight red mini dress. I'm not sure we want that part to be reality, though. LOL

You guys were getting married, weren't you? SURPRISE ICE RINK WEDDDINGGGGG!!! @Swazzle must have made a mean Engagement Chicken.

 

 

Actually, no! LOL It was my birthday, I think. My dad took me and a bunch of ladies to the ice rink. But it was tiny. Donald was at home with the baby. And I stole a cigarette from my dad. Muy weird.

Blue & White

@amapola14 I pronounce swazzle with an a as in apple!  I hope I am right!  I think razzle, dazzle, swazzle!

@southernpeach89 Good luck on your job interviews!! and I can't wait until your wedding!  I really really hope your FI doesn't go crazy in the woods (and/or get bit by something scary!)  I'm pretty much scared of the woods haha

Fi,

I love you and I'm so excited for this job interview that you just had but how come you're not going crazy about it like me!?  I really want to know!  And for once, I actually want this to happen.  Let's throw a silly wrench in our wedding plans but we've GOT this!!

Love,
Fi

Bride,

I'm so psyched you're getting married this weekend!  I'm a little worried that you might make me steal some drunk groomsman's keys to drive us back to the reception but I will totally strut my Jersey stuff if it means I'm not in a drunko's car

Love,
The best bridesmaid ever even though I'm missing the rehearsal

Throat,

You are doing awesome at getting better.  KEEP GOING!

Love,
Sick of being sick.

Abby Lee Miller,

HOW DO YOU PULL ME IN TO ALL OF THESE CRAZY SHOWS?!  I don't even like you, I just like the dancers and wish I was as good as them!

Love,
Apparently I should've been a ballerina.

buddysmom80

@beanbot2002, Yayyy for another boy!!!!! I can't wait to see him!!!! xoxo, buddy ---------------------

@brisox81, @swazzle, @livleighton, @csousa and sak, I cannot wait to see you ladies, I'll be bringing the pudding shots and nutella orgasm cupcakes!!! Love, buddy -------------------------

Dear BF, Thank you for staying home with me today. I don't know what kind of person gets a stomach bug this time of year, I guess me! Love, Your GF ------------------------

Dear Parents, Please don't let your dog attack my dog all weekend. Love, Your daughter ---------------------------

 Dear Body, Let's get the stomach flu more often. Down 7 lbs since Friday? I can get used to this. I will probably eat 7 lbs of cupcakes next weekend though.

 ETA: apparently TK hates my iPad.....

ETA: fixed formatting

bride2b71614

Dear Baby,

Even though you make my hormones go haywire, and that its been an emotional roller coaster I love you so much. I can't wait to meet you in a few months. 

Much Love,

Mommy

*********

Dear FI,

Thank you for trying to make breakfast for me this morning, for holding my hair back when I was experiencing morning sickness, and for being understanding. And for forgiving me/not laughing at me when I was yelling at you about the sock on the floor that turned out to be mine. 

Love,

Your preggo FI

**********

Dear Rain,

Go away, you are making me even more tired than I already am.

No love,

Me

**********

Dear Work,

Can you cut me some freaking slack? I feel like you are never ending, and I am tired of your shit.

Fuck you,

The frustrated student.

***************

Dear FI's sister,

I know that things haven't been smooth sailing for us, but I really appreciate the fact that you reached out to me today. I am looking forward to your visit. 

Can't wait,

Me

suzie211

Dear @loves2shop4shoes,

I ❤️ IRL.

Sincerely,

Looking forward to more noms and wine


Dear co-worker,

Why is everything always so dramatic!?! You and I talked about this situation well before today. Then you're at the customer and act all surprised this is happening. Customer asked for money. Government says we can't give them money. I like my job, and choose to abide the government. She didn't like my answer, and is now bitching. Surprise! I told you this would happen.


Regards,

Lady needing to start this whole day over


Dear SIL,

Yes, H and I are TTC and humping like rabbits. No, we haven't officially told you. Yes, we know that you want babies from us. Posting weekly on my FB regarding the status of my empty uterus does not speed anything up.

Signed,

Barren Cranky Pants

Candy,

Please stop finding your way to my mouth. You taste noms, but my pants already don't fit after I ate my way through my honeymoon.

Sincerely,

In need of spanx

CLoGreenEyes

@bride2be71614, I died at the sock story. Haha, but I hope you feel better soon! Sounds like things are getting crazy.

bride2b71614

Shit I forgot to mention this in my first OLW: @beanbot congratulations on baby blue!

@bubbles053009, yeah after I apologized I managed to laugh at myself. When he went to pick it up, I was all like oh wait this is mine. FI knew it was mine the entire time but didn't say anything, and didn't argue back. It was one rogue sock in the middle of our living room, not a pile of dirty laundry, and the house was otherwise spotless. He understands that this isn't how I normally act, and a majority of my reactions are due to hormones. I will apologize if I realize that the reaction was unwarranted. 

phira

Dear students,

I understand that you've always dreamed of going to medical school. I understand that it takes straight As and an amazing resume to get in these days. I understand that med school admissions are beyond unfair, and that plenty of people who would make great doctors are rejected year after year.

Now, will you please understand that while I will do what I can to help you understand the material, MAYBE you are just going to have to accept that you're not going to medical school?

Sincerely,

Your exhausted TF

Dear DJs.

It would be really helpful if you'd just tell me approximately how much you charge for 5 hours of work. Really.

Sincerely,

Look, do you want me to book you or not?

Dear venue,

Your incredibly detailed binder is hilarious to me. However, I'd like to know why we can't give out hard candy favors, when our coordinator told us in person that we could.

Also, you need to change your binder. It assumes that the reader is a woman marrying a man, and that the man will not be reading the binder. I am actually disappointed because I do not like booking sexist vendors. I will have something to say about this.

Sincerely,

Otherwise excited client

Dear influenza,

GET OUT OF MY PARTNER.

Best wishes,

A biologist who will hunt you down and kill you

Dear NEY ladies,

WHO is the person who recommended the Audrey Brooke Tye Riding Boot from DSW? I need to give you ALL of the thank you notes. I just got a pair, and the wide calf is actually wide calf, and they fit perfectly!!

Best,

Lady in boots

And finally ...

Dear Sox,

OMFGGGG.

Sincerely,

A fan