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Wedding Etiquette Forum
mmleboeuf
member
Retired Army wearing uniform at Daughter's wedding
My husband is an Army Retired Lieutenant Colonel. He has a civilian job where he wears his uniform to work (school ROTC position). Our daughter will be getting married in June, and wants him to wear his dress blues at her wedding. My question is this: If my husband does wear his uniform, must the invitations read :Lieutenant Colonel and Mrs. ____ request the honour.....
Knowing that he retained his rank after retirement and is entitled to use it in social situations, would it be in bad taste for him NOT to wear his uniform and still use his title on the invitations?
Thank you so much for your help. Can't find the answer to this anywhere!
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Re: Retired Army wearing uniform at Daughter's wedding
@kssmmg Your experience is required with this thread!
I think that you should go by what your H is comfortable with. Does he want to wear his dress blues? Does he want to have his formal title printed on the invite? And check with your daughter on how she wants her invites worded. Many times, couples will use "Together with their parents" and not specifically name the parents on an invitation any longer.
My dad is a retired Colonel. My parents are hosting my sister's wedding next month so their invitations read "Colonel and Mrs. ___ request the honor of your presence...
As to the dress blues...my dad is wearing his at my sister's request. Your H can wear them but he doesn't have to unless he wants to. It isn't going to be in poor form if he doesn't. Regardless of him wearing his uniform or not, he is still entitled to use his military rank.
30-3. Wear of the uniform by retired personnel
a. Personnel who will be advanced to a higher grade upon retirement have the option of wearing the insignia of that grade thereafter.
b. Retired personnel on active duty will wear their uniform and insignia in the same manner as prescribed for personnel in the Active Army of corresponding grade and branch.
c. Retired personnel not on active duty may wear either the uniform reflecting their grade and branch on the date of their retirement, or the uniform for personnel in the Active Army of corresponding grade and branch, when appropriate, but may not intermix the two uniforms. Personnel will wear the grade as shown on the retired grade of rank line on the retirement order.
d. Retired personnel not on active duty are not authorized to wear shoulder sleeve insignia, except as follows:
(1) Personnel performing instructor duties at an educational institution conducting courses of instruction approved by the Armed Forces will wear the shoulder sleeve insignia of the command that is responsible for the course of instruction. Senior and junior ROTC instructors will wear the Cadet Command shoulder sleeve insignia on their left shoulder (see AR 145-1 and 145-2 for wear of the uniform by senior and junior ROTC instructors, respectively).
(2) Retired personnel are authorized to wear the shoulder sleeve insignia for U.S. Army Retirees on the left shoulder. The insignia consists of a white cloth disc with a blue border, and an inner white disc with a red border, which bears a blue and white adaptation of the coat of arms of the United States. The outer disk that surrounds the coat of arms contains the inscription "UNITED STATES ARMY" in red letters at the top, and the word "RETIRED" in blue letters at the bottom (see fig 30-1).
Figure 30-1. Shoulder sleeve insignia, retirees
(3) Retired personnel may wear the shoulder sleeve insignia for former wartime service (SSI-FWTS) on the right shoulder if they were authorized wear of the SSI-FWTS while on active duty.
e. Retired personnel not on active duty are not authorized to wear the Army uniform when they are instructors or responsible for military discipline at an educational institution, unless the educational institution is conducting courses of instruction approved by the Armed Forces.
f. In addition to the occasions for wear listed above, retired personnel are authorized to wear the uniform only on the following occasions. Uniforms for these occasions are restricted to service and dress uniforms; the BDU and physical fitness uniforms will not be worn.
(1) While attending military funerals, memorial services, weddings, inaugurals, and other occasions of ceremony.
(2) Attending parades on national or state holidays, or other patriotic parades or ceremonies in which any active or reserve United States military unit is taking part. Wear of the Army uniform at any other time, or for any other purpose than stated above is prohibited.
As far as using his rank on the invitations and then wearing civilian attire for the wedding? This is not a problem. There are no rules that requires him to wear the uniform if the invitations are issued with his rank. Whatever you decide, you will be fine.
My DD gets married in June, also! Happy planning!