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Not sure if this is the right spot, but I NEED help! sorry kinda long...

Re: Not sure if this is the right spot, but I NEED help! sorry kinda long...

  • janedoe1113ajanedoe1113a member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    If you're paying for the wedding yourself, you can invite whoever you want.  You're an adult, put your foot down and say you're not inviting these people.  No one can make you.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Assuming you are paying for it, you can keep the guestlist at whatever number you want. 

    For mom, grandma, whoever thinks you should invite more, say: Sorry, mom, but this is our wedding, and this is our chance to do it how we want.  I'm just not comfortable with a huge wedding, so we are only inviting 100.  I know that means some people will be cut, but that's just the way it is.  And then change the subject.

    For people that aren't invited that ask you, say: Oh, it's sweet that you'd like to come, but we've decided to keep it small and intimate and only invite our closest family and friends.  And then change the subject.

    Contrary to what your mom/grandma/whoever says, people do understand that weddings are expensive, and that guest lists have to be limited, and they do understand when they aren't invited, particularly if they aren't close friends or family. 
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  • FutureMrsKnapp2010FutureMrsKnapp2010
    First Comment
    I guess maybe I should have said my parents are the ones paying for it which is I guess another problem, but I have already sacrified a lot by not having my destination wedding, so thats why I feel like I should be able to at least be in charge of my guest list.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    If your parents are paying, they get to dictate the guestlist. 

    It sounds like your visions are very different than those of your parents.  Maybe you'd do better to just say thanks but no thanks, and pay for it yourself.  Based on this post, it sounds like the guest list isn't going to be the last time you guys are at odds.
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  • janedoe1113ajanedoe1113a member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Yup, if your parents are paying for it, they get final say.  If you want to be in charge of the guest list, you need to pay for your own wedding.
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  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    Um, DD version 2.0?
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  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    I don't see any question here.

    DD?
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Oh, FFS! 

    OP wanted to have a DW with 40 guests.  After a sit down with the family, they agreed to a traditional wedding at home.  Now she wants to cap the guest list at 100, but parents are insisting on inviting everyone they know, putting the guest list up to about 400.

    She came back later and said that parents are the ones paying.

    I don't know why I bother being nice to people when they just turn around and act like brats and do this.  What a child!
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  • janedoe1113ajanedoe1113a member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    There was absolutely no reason to DD that one.
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  • tlv204tlv204 member
    First Comment
    Ha, I like this new version of deletes. Much more fun.

    I also agree that, unfortunately if you and your parents cannot agree and they are implying that they are hosting the wedding, they choose who to invite because they are throwing the party. If they just gave you cash and said plan your wedding, that's another story, but if they are paying as they go and making demands like that, what can you do? You can whine all you want and hope that they'll do what you wish for your wedding, but if they don't, there's no way to stop them (since they'll ultimately be in contact with the venue if they're paying for it) from inviting everyone.
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