AYG

AllAboutTheBenjamin · May 2012

Good morning, I have some Gs.

For anyone who missed it because of TK's Godforsaken glitches and the disappearing act of FFF, Mery made some extremely twatful comments about Dot that pissed me right thefuckoff. Bringing you up to speed since I cannot link it - she said she wished Dot would just "go away" and that she thinks Dot probably is the kind of person you'd not want to be in high school with because you'd always be afraid she'd bring a gun to school. I called her out on it but since Mery usually takes about 12 fucking hours to respond to something she did not get a chance to read it, I'm assuming. Obviously - I think it's a shitty thing to say about someone, but I also find it pretty curious that she'd think Dot should "go away", since Dot as far as I know posts exclusively on SB and we all know Mery doesn't post here since we are all "too stupid" for her to have hoity toity academic conversations with ("She doesn't even GO HERE"). So it's obvious she probably just lurks here and runs around TN complaining about how dumb we all are. So Fuckyou, Mery. Go away? How about you just stay on the fucking Nest since they all love licking your stuck up ass all day.

Also, this next one may make me look like an asshole, but I gotta say it. Bay, you know I love you, and I have mad respect for your courage and your attitude with everything you're going through. But I really hate hearing about your H. You post about your H all the time, and obviously since this is a wedding board we are all talking about our own husbands and SOs - it's NATURAL that you would talk about your H. But he has really put you through the ringer this past year, he is completely selfish and all I can think about every time you mention him is that he's just a dillhole with a wandering eye that does not deserve ANY of the blessed time of day that you give him. You are way too easy on this guy. If you guys are eventually able to work past all this horrible shiit and stay together I will be the first one to congratulate you but for real, it's okay to hate him right now. He has been very shitty to you and you are completely re-arranging your entire life because he sucks at his.

See? Asshole. I'M SORRY.

But I do feel better, now you.

baystateapple · May 2012

Point taken, AATB. I won't bring the subject up anymore.

celticmyss · May 2012

I would like to see these posts about Dot so I can flip my lid. Did they get deleted or eaten by the TK monster?

cheeseandrice · May 2012

What prompted Mery's comments about Dot? That's so bizarre.

And, I agree. Bay- your husband is a jackass. I haven't heard anything recently, so I don't know if you're still separate or back together or what. But seriously. You deserve better.

ETA: I see you just responded. It's not that people don't want ot hear about stuff, I don't think. Everyone wants to be supportive. I think we're all just... protective? defensive? of you.

chelseamb11 · May 2012

I totally can back up the Mery flaming. She said that Dot literally scared her. It's a message board FFS. Even if Dot was nuts( which she isn't), it's not like she can shoot the screen and have it come through to us.

I also flame the girl on our month board who posted a very vivid description of her bikini wax. That took TMI to the max.

Starmusica · May 2012

I definitely missed all of Mery's comments. I RARELY post in AYG and I rarely join in about this stuff but I've watched Mery's posts for the last couple of years and I see NO redeeming quality in them. Mery comes off as one of the rudest and most heartless people I have ever come across. I pity her honestly because I cannot imagine someone so out of touch with common courtesy does well with others IRL.

My AYG is for all the spoiled posters we've been seeing lately. If one more bride who is getting a free wedding comes on here to complain that their parents are being awful or even worse- that their parents or ILs are NOT paying for their wedding and should be- I will scream. It is AWESOME when parents pay. My parents gave us money towards our wedding and we paid the rest. We didn't feel ENTITLED to that. We were SO thankful for it and went out of our way to ensure our families were comfortable with our choices and had a good time. STOP BEING SPOILED.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:307399c5-08de-48f6-987e-a0241055d2b6">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]What prompted Mery's comments about Dot? That's so bizarre. And, I agree. Bay- your husband is a jackass. I haven't heard anything recently, so I don't know if you're still separate or back together or what. But seriously. You deserve better. ETA: I see you just responded. It's not that people don't want ot hear about stuff, I don't think. Everyone wants to be supportive. I think we're all just... protective? defensive? of you.
Posted by Steph+J[/QUOTE]

This is kind of how I feel about it. I mean, I feel like a jackass even bringing it up because I know how sensitive of a subject this is and how hard you are taking it. And I know everyone copes in their own way.........gah. I just hate the guy for what he's done to you.

chelseamb11 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:307399c5-08de-48f6-987e-a0241055d2b6">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]What prompted Mery's comments about Dot? That's so bizarre. And, I agree. Bay- your husband is a jackass. I haven't heard anything recently, so I don't know if you're still separate or back together or what. But seriously. You deserve better. ETA: I see you just responded. It's not that people don't want ot hear about stuff, I don't think. Everyone wants to be supportive. I think we're all just... protective? defensive? of you.
Posted by Steph+J[/QUOTE]

People were talking about trolls, whichmake her bring up Dot.

<a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-or-uo-or-i-judge_.5">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-or-uo-or-i-judge_.5</a>

Smash Adams · May 2012

I dunno, man. It's hard to stop talking about someone who has been a huge part of your life for so long. I think about XH on the daily even though I haven't spoken to him in over 3 months now. I get where you're coming from, AATB, but I get why Bay still talks about him-- he's still her H, and it's hard to just stop talking about someone even when they've done some fucked up shiit to you. I feel awkward when I bring up XH but like it or not, most of the experiences I've had over the last 10 years or so were related to him, so it happens.

maratea · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:9f0be521-7d47-4e24-a587-4207f995685f">AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]Good morning, I have some Gs. For anyone who missed it because of TK's Godforsaken glitches and the disappearing act of FFF, Mery made some extremely twatful comments about Dot that pissed me right thefuckoff. Bringing you up to speed since I cannot link it - she said she wished Dot would just "go away" and that she thinks Dot probably is the kind of person you'd not want to be in high school with because you'd always be afraid she'd bring a gun to school. I called her out on it but since Mery usually takes about 12 fucking hours to respond to something she did not get a chance to read it, I'm assuming. Obviously - I think it's a shitty thing to say about someone, but I also find it pretty curious that she'd think Dot should "go away", since Dot as far as I know posts exclusively on SB and we all know Mery doesn't post here since we are all "too stupid" for her to have hoity toity academic conversations with ("She doesn't even GO HERE"). So it's obvious she probably just lurks here and runs around TN complaining about how dumb we all are. So Fuckyou, Mery. Go away? How about you just stay on the fucking Nest since they all love licking your stuck up ass all day.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]
Yes. I'm pissed that FFF disappeared because I reamed her out then, but FFF went missing about 2 seconds after I posted. It was a good one too. FUcking Tk.

allisong23 · May 2012

I understand why Bay posts about it. When I went through my divorce, I didn't have anyone I could talk to about it IRL. I mean, we talked, but it was hard to really express how awful I was feeling. I wish I had this board then, because it is a way to get it all out there without the pain of telling someone in person.I know I have shared stuff here that I don't share IRL, even with my closest friends.

I'm not expressing myself the way I want to, but I totally get why Bay posts about what she is going through here. It is like therapy in a way, KWIM?

[Deleted User] · May 2012

I've never noticed anything scary about Dot. How weird.

I have no problem hearing about Bay's H. If I'm not mistaken they're getting ready to separate. That whole process is a big freaking deal and what's going on in her life. I personally am interested to know what's going on in Bay's life. For example - she mentioned the other day that she felt bad about how this situation affects his relationship with his mother, and we were able to reassure her that she should feel NO guilt about that. I think that's a good thing.

cheeseandrice · May 2012

Ditto Duds.

Plus, we're only hearing one side of the story. If her MIL could tell she was pissed, even over Skype, then it was probably pretty obvious. It bugged me how she kept talking down about her H too, like he 'clearly didn't know how to handle the situation.' So you do it, if you need it done a certain way. You already coached him on what to say.

I'd be super annoyed if my family decided to tag along on our honeymoon... but I also would ask that first when they paid for it.

LetsHikeToday · May 2012

I don't know if this was brought up before because I don't remember if it was last week or the week before but I flame Caponi for saying in a thread she was hardcore judging some knot posters but then wouldn't say who when asked. She PMed 3 people to tell them and wouldn't PM others. She just kept saying they weren't E regs. That's lame. If you don't want to talk about it, don't bring it up.

maratea · May 2012

Bay- It's not that we don't want you to mention or talk about your H. I think it's just that so many people here care about you that it almost... hurts us to see you casually bring it up because we know how much he hurt you. I feel that way when other posters who are separated/divorcing/divorced bring up their spouses.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · May 2012

I'm not really saying that I don't get why she posts about her H - what I don't get is how nice she is to him. I mean the other day she was posting about how she felt bad for him because he got shafted on Mother's Day. Thefuck, I don't feel bad for the guy. This entire thing is probably more of a negative reflection on me than it is on Bay - she is a compassionate person. If someone does me wrong they basically are going to have to buff and shine the ground I walk on for a long fucking time before I'm nice to them again.

cheeseandrice · May 2012

After rereading Nates' thread, I have a lame flame for crfb's sig pic. I saw it on pinterest the other day too, and it annoys me. She didn't say "that's what," like the shirt implies. She said whatever someone else just said. Grammar humor fail.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:8e526756-0f52-4a57-a1b1-df9b30506a68">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]After rereading Nates' thread, I have a lame flame for crfb's sig pic. I saw it on pinterest the other day too, and it annoys me. She didn't say "that's what," like the shirt implies. She said whatever someone else just said. Grammar humor fail.
Posted by Steph+J[/QUOTE]

*snicker*

lbarr088 · May 2012

Dot ... you ARE scary.

Kidding

For real though, I don't understand how Mery could say any of those things. She's such an asshat... but we all know this about her. I truly believe she loves stirring up shiit then disappearing forever to only reappear briefly at 3am and start shiit again on a different, most likely dead thread.

maratea · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:c27fcc72-1f6b-4a4d-8df4-440746446911">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : You have the last post in that FFF if that is what you are talking about. It's linked above.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]
Woot! I thought this was gone forever.

Here's what Mery said, and my response:
"I also wish Dot would leave permanantly. She really freaks me out. Like, if I went to high school with her I would constantly be afraid she had a gun in her locker.
Posted by msmerymac"
"Funny. I think lots of people, myself included, feel the same about you. But instead of a gun, it would be death by the ridiculous, overly lame, 7 paragraph long, 2 hours after the fact, finger wagging diatribe."

LP11509 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:a8110620-19e4-46b0-afb1-9294a5a61aab">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a flame for Nates. I think what her FMIL did with the HM trip is ridiculous and I would have been as pissed as Nates is, however, I don't think I would have called my MIL a crackwhore in the post title or rambled on about how the convo went down. IIRC, Nates had someone from her IRL world find her on here before and it wouldn't be too hard for someone to find her posts again.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree. It's definitely not far fetched that someone IRL can find posts on here. Hell, I have IRL friends in common with some knotties. I think sometimes we (myself included) forget/ignore the fact that this is still a public forum on the internet. Venting is one thing, but calling MIL a crackhoar in a post title takes it a bit too far I think.</div>

cheeseandrice · May 2012

Guys. Seriously, though. Dot DID completely flip off the deep end, more than once. It's not that Mery was totally unfounded in her 'Dot is crazyshit' analysis, especially if she was around when Dot first GBCK'd. But to say she's the person that would bring in a gun is so stupid and overdramatic.

Sometimes I wonder if Mery has some legitimate social issue. She's just never... appropriate. Like, I feel she made that comment to be funny. But it was just awkward and lame.

But meh. Even I'm over it, and Mery never really had a hand in the game, so like always... Mery is wench.

chelseamb11 · May 2012

Mara your reply was awesome.

Starmusica · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:6b532f8f-85ee-49ca-8e01-cb255e18d3f3">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]Guys. Seriously, though. Dot DID completely flip off the deep end, more than once. It's not that Mery was totally unfounded in her 'Dot is crazyshit' analysis, especially if she was around when Dot first GBCK'd. But to say she's the person that would bring in a gun is so stupid and overdramatic. Sometimes I wonder if Mery has some legitimate social issue. She's just never... appropriate. Like, I feel she made that comment to be funny. But it was just awkward and lame. But meh. Even I'm over it, and Mery never really had a hand in the game, so like always... Mery is wench.
Posted by Steph+J[/QUOTE]

This is kind of what I meant above- she lacks ALL normal filters. I mean honestly- she could be one of those people who literally feel like they can say whatever stupid thing comes into their head online because "it's the internet and it doesn't matter." But if she is like that in real life... wow.

maratea · May 2012

Eh, I can't blame Nates too much for calling her MIL a crackwhoar. I've called my MIL far worse and I don't give a rat's behind if she found out. It's extremely difficult to deal with someone like that, and I know exactly what Nates means when she said that her H had trouble with the conversation. I've watched H do the same thing before and I know it's because he was pissed at his mom but he didn't want to say anything mean to her because, well, she's his mom even if she is a twat.

cheeseandrice · May 2012

Right? I mean, clearly, I lack a filter sometimes too. But that's typically intentional when I want to be a biitch. And I own up to it

But some of the stuff she says, or the way she says it? I DON'T GET IT. I really think she's one of those people that has too much textbook knowledge and not enough real world experience or common sense.

Starmusica · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:b4570560-5311-4497-b6cd-9097b68db7ab">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : I agree. It's definitely not far fetched that someone IRL can find posts on here. Hell, I have IRL friends in common with some knotties. I think sometimes we (myself included) forget/ignore the fact that this is still a public forum on the internet. Venting is one thing, but calling MIL a crackhoar in a post title takes it a bit too far I think.
Posted by LP11509[/QUOTE]

it's more than possible- it's likely if you don't properly protect your posts. Someone once posted a long, mean post on TN about me. I found it by pure happenstance... and I will probably never be able to "un-see" it...KWIM? You have to be careful! You can't unsay things.

ZombieNates · May 2012

Fuckballs, I've only got a minutes to pop in. I accept that flame; that's the risk you take when you vent on here. I do think.it's stupid as shiit to say that it's something that should have been discussed when we accepted the money. Come on. Who in their right mind would assume that anyone would call it a honeymoon and then expect to.got on other. That's just a reach.

cheeseandrice · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:aa6f216c-522e-40c8-b716-91625e2a917d">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]Eh, I can't blame Nates too much for calling her MIL a crackwhoar. I've called my MIL far worse and I don't give a rat's behind if she found out. It's extremely difficult to deal with someone like that, and I know exactly what Nates means when she said that her H had trouble with the conversation. I've watched H do the same thing before and I know it's because he was pissed at his mom but he didn't want to say anything mean to her because, well, she's his mom even if she is a twat.
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

Yeah, but your MIL IS a crackhoar ;)

Nates' MIL was just upset that Nates was upset about them being on vacation. Like I said, I'd be super annoyed if family tried to tack onto our honeymoon. But I hardly think it was malicious. Nates sounds like far more the drama queen in this situation, tbh.

maratea · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-31?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ba556780-6b63-43b5-a4ca-c212cb53ba76Post:52c4ba3d-0552-447c-b761-bd5c6f338d76">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : Yeah, but your MIL IS a crackhoar ;) Nates' MIL was just upset that Nates was upset about them being on vacation. Like I said, I'd be super annoyed if family tried to tack onto our honeymoon. But I hardly think it was malicious. Nates sounds like far more the drama queen in this situation, tbh.
Posted by Steph+J[/QUOTE]
Given that Nates MIL and mine seem to be the same person, I'd venture a guess that it was intended to be manipulative and maybe malicious by the ILs. 'Member when all that Disney bullshit went down with H and I, and my ILs? Yeah, it was a similar situation (compounded by the fact they showed up at the airport when we got back to greet us, WTF). I will never, ever accept another high monetary value gift from them again. Until they are dead, then I will gladly take whatever they've left us.

baystateapple · May 2012

I know that defending yourself in an AYG is lame and I really don't want to come across as defensive. Jill and Ash hit the nail on the head. I'm not meaning to bring up H because of therapeutic reasons -- although it is really difficult to talk about him when my mother has told me that she has no interest in me bringing up the subject, and when the majority of our friends are mutual friends so it's just awkward to bring it up to any of them. I have a therapist of my own as well as a marriage counselor so if I need to talk about it for therapeutic reasons I definitely already have a sounding board. He's been a part of my life for years. Justified or not, I still love him very much. I realize that this makes me look like an idiot or a doormat but it's not something I could help. Trust me, if I could turn that off and just not giveashit about him or my ILs or anything that we've had in the last few years, I'd do it in a heartbeat. It would save me a lot of grief and heartache right now.

As for the being too nice to him thing...I'm sorry, I guess? I don't really know how else to be. I mean, behind closed doors I have yelled at him, I've called him names, I've gone out of my way to not make his life any easier than it has to be, and you know, none of that makes any of this any easier. If anything, it creates more tension and makes living together even more difficult. We were in a tough situation of having to live together until I found a new apartment, and that lease doesn't start until June 1. I could move in with my family, but I've discussed why that would have been a horrible decision, and truthfully, I'd rather live with H and have him never home due to his insane work schedule, than live with my mom and sister constantly. I guess my being nice to him is judgworthy, but being a jerk when we had to cohabitate for the last six weeks wasn't making things easier, it was making them even worse.

But I did realize going into all of this that people weren't going to want to hear about H in either a positive or a negative light, and I figured eventually my posting about it would get under people's skin. I really am not hurt by the comments and I will definitely try to mention him less in threads. I apologize for being a broken record.

AYG

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