Vent - Roommates

crb2013 · December 2011

So B and I live with two other couples - my two sorority sisters and their significant others. One couple is engaged, and her fiance just happens to be one of B's fraternity brothers. The other couple have been dating since March, and her boyfriend has been B's friend for like 5 years or something.

We've been having problems with stuff going missing (mainly, food) for quite some time now. When it was just two couples here, it was all fine and dandy. When the third couple moved in, that's when the problems started. I feel like it's safe to say that we know that it's the third couple taking the food.

We keep all our food separate for this reason. We each have our own separate milk, eggs, bread, whatever, including even ketchup! It has been too much of a problem with people taking stuff that is not theirs.

The third couple gets a food stamp card - B and I work and are putting ourselves through school. It's not like we have a bunch of extra money laying around, esp. to spend on food because our roommates take it!

But no one will admit to it - they all four deny it. So clearly someone is just breaking in the house to steal only our food.... *sarcasm*.

The thing is - the girl from the third couple has had her food missing too, and she blames B and I. I can honestly say I've never had something that was not mine. I know they struggle for $$ just as much as we do. And I just wasn't raised that way! She refuses to accept the fact that her fiance is eating her food!

The thing that set me over was last night - we caught him red handed eating our LEFTOVER food from our dinner at Applebees..... That's just disgusting! And they STILL deny it!

So B and I had a long talk last night - it was like it was the straw that broke the camel's back. We're sick of it and want to move out and rent our own place. This is something we'e been talking about doing for awhile. But since starting wedding plan, the realization of the cost has hit us hard. We don't think we can afford to move out and pay for the wedding we want to have, when we want to have it.

I need to move out for my sanity. But I refuse to wait longer to get married. And I refuse to skimp much more on the wedding - I've already given up quite a lot! That's like, taking Barbie's dream house away from her. Or, telling Cinderella that Prince Charming was all a joke.

It just sucks to know that I am stuck here. I'm going crazy! There's only so much more I can take....

Anyway, just had to get this out of my system! If you read this whole thing, I admire you haha.

kellyt89 · December 2011

That sounds really awful. Honestly though, you can stomp your foot all you want but you need to compromise somewhere. Money isn't going to magically fall into your lap (unfortunately) so you need to make a decision based on what is more important to you - having the wedding you want when you want it or having your own place where people don't steal your food.

Sorry you have to make a tough decision.

shellyamf · December 2011

Would it be possible to get a mini -fridge in your bedroom? I know it's not ideal especially when you're probably already limited on space. but it's an idea to keep at least some of your food to yourself. And I'm saying this hoping you have a lock on your door.

I was always fine with one roommate, but had similar issues when I started living with two of my friends. All of our boyfriends come over frequently and soon one of them was living there as well. Once he moved in, we had food issues. I choose the moving out option, but I understand if you want to save the money.

I guess what it really comes down to: how much will you save not moving out but still having to buy extra food because your's gets eaten?

crb2013 · December 2011

Those are definitely all good points to think about...

Right now B and I pay $175 each plus $17 each for cable/internet. All other utilities are included, and our landlord lets us have our two dogs. The other benefit to living here is that he lets us pay rent basically whenever - it's not due by say the first or whatever.

We've casually looked at a few places and so far the best we can find is $400 per month, so that'd be $200 each. But that does not included any utilities, and we're not sure how much those would run us. Also, we'd have to pay a $400 deposit the first month, so essentially our first month would be $800.

ETA: My guess it that $200 - $300 in (mainly) food has gone missing since September.

I just don't know what to do! I don't want to get in over our heads, kwim?

shellyamf · December 2011

Herm, it does sound like it would be cheaper to stay where you are even with having to buy extra food. Perhaps the mini-fridge is an option? I know those aren't too terrible depending on the size you get.

faith415 · December 2011

I had very similar issues when I was living with roommates. Some of the things we did were to write our name on our food. It's a pain in the butt, but it definitely helps. I guess people feel bad eating food with your name looking them in the face? We also made sure to have our own shelf in the fridge and pantry so it was very obvious whose was whose. Hopefully some of those things will help you.

If not, I guess you'll have to make some hard decisions on where you want to put your money right now. Good luck! Sorry this is happening to you guys.

indigopsyche · December 2011

They also make mini-fridges with small freezers too if I recall. I hate it when roommates steal food - last year I had a roommate start doing that until I started cooking heavily with sauerkraut.

crb2013 · December 2011

I think I'll look into the mini - fridge for now and see if that makes any difference at all. Then decide where to go from there!

Thanks for all the help ladies!

Roommates are wonderful, but it's hard to live with your friends! I've definitely learned my lesson on this one!!!

kellyt89 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_vent-roommates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:b72dcef2-e474-4edc-9f2f-5b07cdbaf8ccPost:664e01c3-1fa4-43b7-b991-398d02f1b3c9">Re: Vent - Roommates</a>:
[QUOTE]They also make mini-fridges with small freezers too if I recall. I hate it when roommates steal food - last year I had a roommate start doing that until I started cooking heavily with sauerkraut.
Posted by indigopsyche[/QUOTE]

LOL!

batfacepattermonth · December 2011

If you caught him red handed eating your food, he should be kicked out if he refuses to stop. I feel so bad that you are dealing with this! What did he say when you caught him??

crb2013 · December 2011

I walked in on him in the kitchen, with all the lights off, and he saw me and shoved the rest of the quesadilla in his mouth. Then, I said "What were you doing?!" And he said something like "I was eating some Doritos" or something like that and then he went into his room. B asked him about it, again, later on, and he said the same thing. But we saw the quesadilla in his hand! And he is STILL lying about it. He thinks were stupid or something. And none of the other roommates were around, so it's our word against his type of thing.

batfacepattermonth · December 2011

So frustrating! I wish I could knock some sense into that guy for you! Let us know how it goes.

crb2013 · December 2011

I definitely will! Thanks for the help! I'm hoping things are different after the Holidays and we can start fresh with a new year. If not, we're going to have some tough decisions to make!

thejucheidea · December 2011

I would DEFINITELY get a mini-fridge. The one I used when I was at Witt was purchased on Craigslist and I think I spent like $40 on it. It had a small freezer in it too, but it mostly just had a bunch of fridge space. I had the problem of food stealers at Bennington but it was just not worth the fight -- by the time I was at Wittenberg, I had food allergies and would have been super angry if anyone had stolen any of my $5 a loaf GF bread.

sunnydays630 · December 2011

In addition to your own fridge, you and your FI need to have a conversation with him. Tell him what you told us, that you are struggling with money as well, and cannot afford to feed him as well. If you catch him again, kindly request that he purchase what he ate of yours.

[Deleted User] · December 2011

When I was little my parents divorced. (No worries, it was a long time coming!) In order to afford her lawyer, my Mom moved out and rented a room from a coworker. I would spend half my time with her and half with Dad.

She had a strict budget of what she could afford for food. She started realizing that her coworker and family were eating her food that was meant for us. My Mom replaced the food and included the receipts with the rent money. When her roommate asked about the receipts, she told her that if any food was taken without permission that it would come out of the rent. It stopped after that.

NOT saying that's what you should do. But I do think you should make sure they understand that you will not stand for your food to be eaten when you are on a strict budget. Maybe everyone should all have mini fridges and keep both their perishables and non-perishables in their rooms with locks on the door. That way everyone's food is protected.

It's a bit extreme but at least that way there wouldn't be anymore problems.

crb2013 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_vent-roommates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:684Discussion:b72dcef2-e474-4edc-9f2f-5b07cdbaf8ccPost:c29105b1-480d-4325-9af3-cccf48e088fe">Re: Vent - Roommates</a>:
[QUOTE]When I was little my parents divorced. (No worries, it was a long time coming!) In order to afford her lawyer, my Mom moved out and rented a room from a coworker. I would spend half my time with her and half with Dad. She had a strict budget of what she could afford for food. She started realizing that her coworker and family were eating her food that was meant for us. My Mom replaced the food and included the receipts with the rent money. When her roommate asked about the receipts, she told her that if any food was taken without permission that it would come out of the rent. It stopped after that. NOT saying that's what you should do. But I do think you should make sure they understand that you will not stand for your food to be eaten when you are on a strict budget. Maybe everyone should all have mini fridges and keep both their perishables and non-perishables in their rooms with locks on the door. That way everyone's food is protected. It's a bit extreme but at least that way there wouldn't be anymore problems.
Posted by JordanF13[/QUOTE]

I actually sort of love this idea! We all pay the landlord individually, BUT the bills are in my name, so everyone has to pay me. I normally just put the bill on the fridge when it's due - but I could include it with the receipts of stuff that's been taken! Brilliant!

--

I thought things would be better since it was Christmas break, but he ate all of our leftover pizza. So far, that's the only thing we've noticed. We got a mini fridge, but the pizza box wouldn't fit so we chanced leaving it downstairs. We didn't think that he would take it, because the other three roommates were home so it'd be obvious that it's him! But he did anyway. *eye roll*. So I'm loving this receipt idea!

crb2013 · January 2012

Soooo update on everything!

B and I have decided to move out! We know we're getting an awesome deal here, but things are just too annoying to live with! We've basically ruined our friendships with these people so we want to salvage what little we have left.

So we found a house, it's only one street up and one block down from where we live now. It looks really rundown on the outside but inside the landlord has completely gutted it and renovated it so everything is brand new! And he said that over the summer he'll begin working on the outside.

Rent is $500, not including utilities, so it will definitely be a strech. That mixed with saving for the wedding, things are going to be tight. But I'm excited for our first place with just the two of us!

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