In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing

hlq2011 · April 2011

Thanks, cfas. I keep hoping that there will be enough going on, and enough happiness around me that I'll focus on that, but I'm still scared I'll ruin it for people like my stepmom.

mandapanda78 · April 2011

Ugh, Stacks. I know my dad would be so disappointed in me if I walked away from them. That's one of the reasons I stick around. Fuuck now I'm getting teary. Aw, who am I kidding, I sob like a biitch all the time these days. :-)

Did I ever tell you guys how my sister took the pregnancy news? Because I'm still not over it. She said "Wow! That's great! Well, here's what's going on with me and the divorce...". It was an eleven minute conversation and only two of those minutes were about me. She actually had to call me back the next day because she realized she forgot to ask me how I was feeling, if I was excited, how Adam took the news, etc.

cengle · April 2011

I want to give everyone in this thread a hug.

waltzingmatilda13 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:c888d6aa-ecbd-4904-8a4c-0b501e3e7c4b">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]I want to send e-hugs to everyone! I confess that my husband hates that I knot. He thinks it's weird that I spend so much time talking with people I've never met. If only he knew how nice it is to have such a supportive community of women available throughout the day.
Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]

Yeah, my H thinks it weird and says I'm obsessed with the internet. It's part of the reason I don't knot from home at night because he feels like I'm not paying attention to him. But I also don't have any friends in my town and this community makes me feel like I have friends, even if they live all over the country.

NuggetBrain · April 2011

I've already done enough whining on the boards about my issues with my weight so I'mma not roll into that whole mess because I don't want to be that chick who is always like "ZOMG I AM SO FAT WHY AM I SO FAT" because I know damn well why it is. It's because I'm too damn lazy to exercise and I enjoy eating way too much.

Birdie1483 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:491691f1-cc72-4744-ba51-488d05ad356c">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]I confess that I'm terrified that instead of enjoying my wedding day, I'm going to be bawling my eyes out because my dad isn't there. It will be three days before the one year anniversary of his death, and I'm really scared I won't be able to focus on what the day is about.
Posted by hlq2011[/QUOTE]

This is a very real concern of mine as well. I was out for drinks the night before I went wedding dress shopping with coworkers and when one asked if I was excited, I burst into tears. It's just a lot of emotional weight to carry for those of us who don't have a parent who will be present. I'm just going to try to focus on the positive and hopefully I'll be so busy I won't think about it too much. ::hugs::

waltzingmatilda13 · April 2011

Aw, Hlq ((HUGS)). My grandmother passed away 6 months before my wedding and it was so hard to not miss her. Just try to think about all the happy times and how he's looking down on you.

baystateapple · April 2011

Thanks, Manda

That was really great to read. I need that sometimes, ya know?

annakb8 · April 2011

Mica, my FI thinks its weird that I knot too. He always says stuff about how I could be talking to robots and not know it. What he doesn't know is that I'm friends with a lot of you on FB so I know most of you are real.

laurenclaire1386 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:c888d6aa-ecbd-4904-8a4c-0b501e3e7c4b">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE] I'll admit that one of the reasons I'm happy to put off childbearing is that I'm scared of what it'll do to my body (okay, so that's a selfish reason not to have kids).
Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]
Add this to my list. I'm already vain as it is. I think I'll be an emotional wreck over things like stretch marks. Which I know I'll get because I already have them. Another thought I had recently was that if I do decide having a kid doesn't scare the living bejesus out of me, adoption might be a good choice for us. My vagina doesn't get ripped all the way to my asshole, no stretch marks, and I'm doing something good for the world. Everyone wins.

NuggetBrain · April 2011

Mica, eye to eye on the husband hating the Knot thing.

baystateapple · April 2011

My H kind of likes that I knot. He has his own message boards (for gamers who are obsessed with the HALO franchise) that he's been on since before we were dating. So he understands how I can be friends with people from all over the place, just through a message board.

mandapanda78 · April 2011

cfas I know you love me. Even if you were distracted by my weight I know I'd say something awesome within a few minutes and you'd just be thinking "This chick is fuucking awesome." Because let's face it, I basically rock. :-)

hlq- I had that same worry. And it's ok to take a minute out to feel sad he won't be there. But I can only tell you that on my wedding day I was so happy, and when I felt that my dad was there he was happy too. And that made it hard to get swallowed up in the sad.

scottswife1106 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:05f04478-ce59-4336-8b7b-a8e177b36877">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing : We tell them all the time to come. Both sides of the family. We ask them to come have dinner and they don't have time. Other times we find out after the fact that they (his mom and sister) drove by twice and didn't even call to see us.Posted by waltzingmatilda13[/QUOTE]

Well, now I can see what you are saying. I do see why you would feel the way that you do. (((((hugs)))) Have you talked to your parents about this at all?

mkrupar · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:c38cb530-7fc5-4a21-8d7f-6fc685c5f8f6">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing : I kind of feel this way too. I'm the same or similar height to some of the girls that have posted their weight. I will not post my weight. It's..uh...a bit higher than the rest of the girls! (I'm 5'3) And I KNOW that people are their own worst critic, but I still sometimes think when I hear a skinny girl say "Oh, I'm fat," well, holy hell, what does she think about me?
Posted by cengle[/QUOTE]

I'll post mine. I'm only 5'1" yet I weigh 194 lbs, and that's almost 30lbs down from my weight in January. There are days where I really don't like myself, but most days I'm content to be alive, healthy (relatively), and mobile. The wellness program I'm doing has helped me so much in understanding how I got to the weight I was (221 for those that don't want to do the math).

I hated exercise and I hate depriving myself of foods I love. I've learned to love exercising (except extended cardio - hate it, but I do it), and with the meal plan from the dietician I actually have a lot of flexibility to still have some of the foods I love. I just make smarter choices now.

laurenclaire1386 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:948494ba-930a-4512-9376-aba184ac1a1c">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]My H kind of likes that I knot. He has his own message boards (for gamers who are obsessed with the HALO franchise) that he's been on since before we were dating. So he understands how I can be friends with people from all over the place, just through a message board.
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]
Ditto for my H. He's known people from his IRC channel for 10+ years. A couple of them came to our wedding.

Stackeye210 · April 2011

Nuggs I think what is working best with Jocelyn is that my side is just being themselves and Trevor's side is being themselves. At first my mom was all, "I have to buy her a black baby doll" and I was just kind of like, "Look....it isn't that serious, buy her what you want to buy her". Because otherwise it was just kind of coming off as trying too hard.

Oh and I totally feel you on the hair thing......I won't send her to my moms house unless she has a fresh hairdo that can last at least 2 days, because I have no intentions on asking her to do a thing with it!

LesPaul · April 2011

FYI - the first-time homebuyer status resets after 3 years, so if it has been that long since Lucas sold his previous home you are both considered first-timers.

I confess I haven't read all 4 pages of this thread yet, so someone may have already pointed this out.

hlq2011 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:faf4c903-7e5e-4a21-8747-139c5b3d0a2c">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing : Yeah, my H thinks it weird and says I'm obsessed with the internet. It's part of the reason I don't knot from home at night because he feels like I'm not paying attention to him. But I also don't have any friends in my town and this community makes me feel like I have friends, even if they live all over the country.
Posted by waltzingmatilda13[/QUOTE]

This is me, exactly. FI can't understand that being online (one of my BMs is a girl I met online years ago) is the equivalent of me going out with friends, since I really haven't got any around here.

Birdie, Matilda... thanks :) It helps knowing it's not just me

opalsky007 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:87b0059f-7ca5-44ed-8660-7a00c6294c36">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]Ugh, Stacks. I know my dad would be so disappointed in me if I walked away from them. That's one of the reasons I stick around. Fuuck now I'm getting teary. Aw, who am I kidding, I sob like a biitch all the time these days. :-) Did I ever tell you guys how my sister took the pregnancy news? Because I'm still not over it. She said "Wow! That's great! Well, here's what's going on with me and the divorce...". It was an eleven minute conversation and only two of those minutes were about me. She actually had to call me back the next day because she realized she forgot to ask me how I was feeling, if I was excited, how Adam took the news, etc.
Posted by mandapanda78[/QUOTE]

<div>Yikes. I got in a fight with my best friend last week about the same sort of thing. She decided to get confrontational with me about how I never talk to her, and how she has to find out about my life through facebook. </div><div>
</div><div>I gently pointed out that yes, I had told her all of those things she accused me of not telling her, and that she'd forgotten them or changed the subject immediately back to herself when I tried to talk about them. I don't talk a lot in general, but I really don't make the effort to talk if I feel like the other person isn't listening. She checked her chat history and realized I was right and halfway apologized. I'm still pissed about it. </div>

LDYGTR13 · April 2011

So, I've been in and out reading this - but I'll agree with the weight issues. I'm 5'11 - 215 lbs (okay, so this morning I was 218, whatever). I've NEVER been comfortable in my skin. I think that my issues with weight are affecting my sex life. I never feel pretty, so I always feel gross. I've tried going to the gym, but I don't enjoy it - I feel like leper that no one wants to talk to b/c I'm the fatty who sweats a lot at the gym.

I also confess that if there's food in front of me, I'm eating it. Even if I'm not hungry. I ate an extra piece of pizza Monday night because it was the last piece. I was FULL, but couldn't help my compulsion to eat it.

When I was younger, I used to pray that I could be anorexic or bulimic. How stupid is that? I know Andy's got anorexia in her family and it's so traumatic and unhealthy, but I'm so enamored (to this day) by stories of anorexia and bulimia. In my mind - and I know it's so incorrect - people who can "control" their weight like that are stronger than me.

When I go to the gym, I always post in on FB because I NEED those cheerleaders (Stacks and Fezz are good about always "liking" or commenting when I go and it makes me feel so good) but I'll go for a few days and then get bummed and not go and get out of the "routine."

I think all of that was really random.

scottswife1106 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:491691f1-cc72-4744-ba51-488d05ad356c">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]I confess that I'm terrified that instead of enjoying my wedding day, I'm going to be bawling my eyes out because my dad isn't there. It will be three days before the one year anniversary of his death, and I'm really scared I won't be able to focus on what the day is about.
Posted by hlq2011[/QUOTE]

My dad passed away in 1999, and the SYTTD shows where the dads were helping always made me feel horrible and cry all over the place. The one thing that I did to remember him on my wedding day was tie the wedding ring that he gave my mom to my bouquet. Only I knew about it so it didn't cause a bunch of questions and make me feel bad. (((((hugs)))))

mandapanda78 · April 2011

Babestate- I DO KNOW! I really do. And that's why if you ever just need someone to say "it's going to work out!" you know where to find me.

mica178 · April 2011

LC, I think you just delayed my possible childbearing by another six months. Thanks. :P

NuggetBrain · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:b11146b3-93d7-43e9-9bbc-5b0ec92ec5c6">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]Nuggs I think what is working best with Jocelyn is that my side is just being themselves and Trevor's side is being themselves. At first my mom was all, "I have to buy her a black baby doll" and I was just kind of like, "Look....it isn't that serious, buy her what you want to buy her". Because otherwise it was just kind of coming off as trying too hard. Oh and I totally feel you on the hair thing......I won't send her to my moms house unless she has a fresh hairdo that can last at least 2 days, because I have no intentions on asking her to do a thing with it!
Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]

True story - I made Noodle watch "Good Hair" with my mom and my grandma because he kept asking why I wouldn't go get a weave. Now he's all "ZOMG I'M SO GLAD YOU DON'T HAVE A WEAVE."

FutureMrsTR · April 2011

I confess that I'm afraid that I might not like my new job. And if I don't it will be worse than hating my old job because I gave up two hours of my time each day to this fuucking commute.

Realistically, I know today is probably just a bad day (I spilled three things before I even left the house), but right now I feel like I'm never going to be good at this and I miss H (who started his own job so now our schedules can conflict and we possibly won't see each other for whole days (apologies to any military wives)) and I just want to go into the bathroom and give up and cry.

cengle · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:31d91929-444d-4fbc-ad6d-c2b188a551c7">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]. When I was younger, I used to pray that I could be anorexic or bulimic. How stupid is that? I know Andy's got anorexia in her family and it's so traumatic and unhealthy, but I'm so enamored (to this day) by stories of anorexia and bulimia. In my mind - and I know it's so incorrect - people who can "control" their weight like that are stronger than me.
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

You're not alone in that either. When I was in high school (when I was actually thin), I tried to be anorexic. I was dating a horrible boy who made me feel badly about myself, who called me a pig, and I wanted to be skinnier. So I decided one day to be anorexic. It lasted about 12 hours. I always said "I didn't have the willpower" to be anorexic, which is so not the correct way of thinking. Luckily, I don't think that way anymore, but it's something I've never forgotten.

mkrupar · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:16041fb8-fd0f-455d-8867-de449c3da393">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing : This is a very real concern of mine as well. I was out for drinks the night before I went wedding dress shopping with coworkers and when one asked if I was excited, I burst into tears. It's just a lot of emotional weight to carry for those of us who don't have a parent who will be present. I'm just going to try to focus on the positive and hopefully I'll be so busy I won't think about it too much. ::hugs::
Posted by Birdie1483[/QUOTE]

::hugs to you and hlq::

My mom passed away 4 years ago (April 18th). When we went out with the family the night before my brother's wedding I found him sobbing in the car because it had really hit him that mom wouldn't be there the next day. I think you just have to accept that there will be an emotional moment or two, go to those who will understand and try really really hard to focus on all of the hapiness. Your parents wouldn't want you missing out on anything on your day because they can't be there with you.

Stackeye210 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:31d91929-444d-4fbc-ad6d-c2b188a551c7">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]So, I've been in and out reading this - but I'll agree with the weight issues. I'm 5'11 - 215 lbs (okay, so this morning I was 218, whatever). I've NEVER been comfortable in my skin.<font color="#ff0000"> Me either, not even when I was 5'9" and like 140. I was a diver and always scrutinized: </font> I think that my issues with weight are affecting my sex life. I never feel pretty, so I always feel gross. <font color="#ff0000">I was actually admiring your legs in your engagement pictures. I think you have some kick ass legs and I want nothing more than to have your calves. I have a calf obsession and I feel like I'll grow to have cankles because of it! </font> I've tried going to the gym, but I don't enjoy it - I feel like leper that no one wants to talk to b/c I'm the fatty who sweats a lot at the gym.<font color="#ff0000"> It's really hard to talk to people at the gym, I've found that taking classes is helping me at least say hi to people, and it has been carrying over into the locker room. It takes me a while to warm up to people, just stay at it. </font> I also confess that if there's food in front of me, I'm eating it. Even if I'm not hungry. I ate an extra piece of pizza Monday night because it was the last piece.<font color="#ff0000"> I do this! </font> I was FULL, but couldn't help my compulsion to eat it. When I was younger, I used to pray that I could be anorexic or bulimic. How stupid is that? <font color="#ff0000">I don't think this is stupid at all. I did the same thing and felt like a failure that I couldn't not eat something or throw it up. I knew it was so stupid to think that way, but I just felt like it was the answer to some of my problems. </font> I know Andy's got anorexia in her family and it's so traumatic and unhealthy, but I'm so enamored (to this day) by stories of anorexia and bulimia. In my mind - and I know it's so incorrect - people who can "control" their weight like that are stronger than me. When I go to the gym, I always post in on FB because I NEED those cheerleaders (Stacks <font color="#ff0000">And I'll keep doing it, don't you worry! :)</font> and Fezz are good about always "liking" or commenting when I go and it makes me feel so good) but I'll go for a few days and then get bummed and not go and get out of the "routine." I think all of that was really random.
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

RobotLegs · April 2011

I know everyone is saying their weight issues are only personal to them... but I really have trouble believing that someone who thinks that they look bad 10 lbs overweight is NOT judging people who are much more overweight than that. At least thinking that they look bad or should lose weight.

I know people judge me for being overweight and pregnant. But, I'm healthier than plenty of thin people. I have perfect blood pressure, low cholesterol, etc. My blood tests were picture perfect and the baby is picture perfect so far. I am actually very very healthy, if not the fittest I've ever been.

In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing

Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing

Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don&#039;t mind people knowing

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing