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Registry and Gift Forum
kgettingmarried
member
i am not going to register
it dawned on me last night that it's just stupid to register when i can afford to go out and buy what i want on my own. the whole thing feels like begging for presents to me, FI agrees.
it also feels antiquated, and to have to wait until we're actually married to use a coffee pot feels just ridiculous to me. FI agrees with that too.
so, we're not going to register. we're going to wait until we move into our house, and then go to the same stores and just buy what we want ourselves.
sorry if this is an unpopular opinion. the whole concept of depending on other people to buy me the items i need in life doesn't work well with my proactive life view. who needs the hassle when we can just go out and buy ourselves the things we want and need?!
it also feels antiquated, and to have to wait until we're actually married to use a coffee pot feels just ridiculous to me. FI agrees with that too.
so, we're not going to register. we're going to wait until we move into our house, and then go to the same stores and just buy what we want ourselves.
sorry if this is an unpopular opinion. the whole concept of depending on other people to buy me the items i need in life doesn't work well with my proactive life view. who needs the hassle when we can just go out and buy ourselves the things we want and need?!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: i am not going to register
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[QUOTE]it dawned on me last night that it's just stupid to register when i can afford to go out and buy what i want on my own. the whole thing feels like begging for presents to me, FI agrees. it also feels antiquated, and to have to wait until we're actually married to use a coffee pot feels just ridiculous to me. FI agrees with that too. so, we're not going to register. we're going to wait until we move into our house, and then go to the same stores and just buy what we want ourselves. sorry if this is an unpopular opinion. the whole concept of depending on other people to buy me the items i need in life doesn't work well with my proactive life view. <strong>who needs the hassle when we can just go out and buy ourselves the things we want and need?!</strong>
Posted by kgettingmarried[/QUOTE]
True, but it will be a hassle when you find yourself with gifts you don't need or want. Then you'll be hassled with returning them. FI and I registered, yet I continue to go out and buy what we need.
Planning Bio ~ Updated 9/23/11
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[QUOTE]it dawned on me last night that it's just stupid to register when i can afford to go out and buy what i want on my own. the whole thing feels like begging for presents to me, FI agrees. it also feels antiquated, and to have to wait until we're actually married to use a coffee pot feels just ridiculous to me. FI agrees with that too. so, we're not going to register. we're going to wait until we move into our house, and then go to the same stores and just buy what we want ourselves. sorry if this is an unpopular opinion. <strong>the whole concept of depending on other people to buy me the items i need in life doesn't work well with my proactive life view.</strong> who needs the hassle when we can just go out and buy ourselves the things we want and need?!
Posted by kgettingmarried[/QUOTE]
I'm sure I speak for a lot of ladies on here when I say that there is nothing on my registry that I am depending on other people to get me. It's more of a wish list of items that I know we need replaced in the next 6 months or so or items that we would like to have and know we will use. If no one buys anything off the registry it won't make or break our domestic life. But we will enjoy getting an extra percentage off when we buy stuff off of it for ourselves after the wedding.
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And that some of those gifts won't be money. They'll be things. That you may or may not like, and may or may not be able to return.
And you also realize that, even if you genuinely don't want gifts, you can't say that on the invites?
Sorry I didn't get you a medal.
Also I really hope you end up with 10 ten toasters. I hope they are all from Target too.
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which is, that you don't have to go through all of this. you can just skip it.
the process makes no sense - you spend time at the store picking everything out, and then you wait for your parents or friends or whoever to tell people where you are registered (ONLY if they ask of course), or find it on your wedding website, and then when gifts start rolling in you are just supposed to hold onto them until after the wedding?
to me it sounds like picking out your own christmas presents. or birthday presents. america has such a sense of entitlement...why should we dictate what people are allowed to buy us?
and why should i wait for people to buy me something i can buy myself right now? just because it's traditional for people to send wedding gifts, doesn't mean they can afford to in this economy or even want to.
the whole thing seems like an 80's leftover to us. so we're skipping it, and you should feel free to skip it too.
[QUOTE]Um....congrats. Sorry I didn't get you a medal. Also I really hope you end up with 10 ten toasters. I hope they are all from Target too.
Posted by jilld82[/QUOTE]
i happen to like Target, it's a MN company that provides a lot of jobs around here.
[QUOTE]This post really urks me. Get off your high horse lady.
Posted by molls332233[/QUOTE]
i already said in the OP that i realize it's an unpopular opinion. sorry you are urked.
[QUOTE]This post really urks me. Get off your high horse lady.
Posted by molls332233[/QUOTE]
Baby Blog!
A registry doesn't dictate anything. It's suggestions. That's it.
Has no one ever asked you for a Christmas list?
The point about Target was their return policy blows.
[QUOTE]looks like everyone missed the point. which is, that you don't have to go through all of this. you can just skip it. the process makes no sense - you spend time at the store picking everything out, and then you wait for your parents or friends or whoever to tell people where you are registered (ONLY if they ask of course), or find it on your wedding website, and then when gifts start rolling in you are just supposed to hold onto them until after the wedding? to me it sounds like picking out your own christmas presents. or birthday presents. <strong>america has such a sense of entitlement</strong>...why should we dictate what people are allowed to buy us? and why should i wait for people to buy me something i can buy myself right now? just because it's traditional for people to send wedding gifts, doesn't mean they can afford to in this economy or even want to. the whole thing seems like an 80's leftover to us. so we're skipping it, and you should feel free to skip it too.
Posted by kgettingmarried[/QUOTE]
I think you are reading way too into it. We register to make sure we dont get 12 microwaves, or a snow cone machine (wait.... that would be kinda cool...). Its a guideline to make shopping for our guests easier, which most people appreciate.
P.S. i love America, shes freakin awesome, dont go dissing her.
P.S.S. we didnt miss the point, you did.
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[QUOTE]looks like everyone missed the point. which is, that you don't have to go through all of this. you can just skip it. the process makes no sense - you spend time at the store picking everything out, and then you wait for your parents or friends or whoever to tell people where you are registered (ONLY if they ask of course), or find it on your wedding website, and then when gifts start rolling in you are just supposed to hold onto them until after the wedding? to me it sounds like picking out your own christmas presents. or birthday presents. america has such a sense of entitlement...why should we dictate what people are allowed to buy us? and why should i wait for people to buy me something i can buy myself right now? just because it's traditional for people to send wedding gifts, doesn't mean they can afford to in this economy or even want to. the whole thing seems like an 80's leftover to us. <strong> so we're skipping it, and you should feel free to skip it too. </strong>
Posted by kgettingmarried[/QUOTE]
Well since <strong><em>you</em></strong> say it's ok to skip it, I guess it's ok.
Whoop-de-freakin-do, you don't want to register. I certainly hope you decline every offer of a shower, because you certainly wouldn't want to be showered in gifts you can just buy yourself.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: i am not going to register : Well since you say it's ok to skip it, I guess it's ok. Whoop-de-freakin-do, you don't want to register. <strong>I certainly hope you decline every offer of a shower, because you certainly wouldn't want to be showered in gifts you can just buy yourself.
</strong>Posted by kristinanddan[/QUOTE]
ditto this
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[QUOTE]No, we got the point. We just disagree. But thanks for giving us permission to not register. A registry doesn't dictate anything. It's suggestions. That's it. Has no one ever asked you for a Christmas list?<strong> The point about Target was their return policy blows.
</strong>Posted by hlq2011[/QUOTE]
Yep this.
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But really now, you might want to hang out on this board to get a better understanding of why people register for gifts and how people reconcile feelings of entitlement and distaste for consumerism with registering.
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americans are pretty spoiled if you look at the way the rest of the world lives. that said, i am a proud american, and i love this country, but not the behaviour of some of the folks in it. or the lifestyles of those folks. but that's another story.
actually in front of family i would feel pretty comfortable ranting about entitlement, sorry if your family isn't that cool. and they would understand exactly what i mean.
i don't understand how you can "reconcile" distaste for consumerism with registering. registries are consumerism at it's very worst. sorry if you don't like that, but it's true.
i'm not preaching, just reaching out to others who feel the same way and don't want to register. i bet there are people lurking right now who don't like the idea and are wondering if they are obligated to do it because they invited 150 guests and are buying them dinner.
this is also why we're doing a small private ceremony. so no, i don't think we will be receiving 5 toasters.
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[QUOTE]americans are pretty spoiled if you look at the way the rest of the world lives. that said, i am a proud american, and i love this country, but not the behaviour of some of the folks in it. or the lifestyles of those folks. but that's another story. actually in front of family i would feel pretty comfortable ranting about entitlement, <strong>sorry if your family isn't that cool.</strong> and they would understand exactly what i mean. i don't understand how you can "reconcile" distaste for consumerism with registering. registries are consumerism at it's very worst. sorry if you don't like that, but it's true. i'm not preaching, just reaching out to others who feel the same way and don't want to register. i bet there are people lurking right now who don't like the idea and are wondering if they are obligated to do it because they invited 150 guests and are buying them dinner. this is also why we're doing a small private ceremony. so no, i don't think we will be receiving 5 toasters.
Posted by kgettingmarried[/QUOTE]
ok now you are just FISHING for drama. take it elsewhere sister.
148 Invited
[QUOTE]americans are pretty spoiled if you look at the way the rest of the world lives. that said, i am a proud american, and i love this country, but not the behaviour of some of the folks in it. or the lifestyles of those folks. but that's another story. actually in front of family i would feel pretty comfortable ranting about entitlement, sorry if your family isn't that cool. and they would understand exactly what i mean. i don't understand how you can "reconcile" distaste for consumerism with registering. registries are consumerism at it's very worst. sorry if you don't like that, but it's true. i'm not preaching, just reaching out to others who feel the same way and don't want to register. i bet there are people lurking right now who don't like the idea and are wondering if they are obligated to do it because they invited 150 guests and are buying them dinner. this is also why we're doing a small private ceremony. so no, i don't think we will be receiving 5 toasters.
Posted by kgettingmarried[/QUOTE]
Worst troll ever!
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Maybe if you'd lurk instead of jumping right in and calling us all materialistic entitled spoiled brats, then you'd understand other perspectives than yours.
Whether you meant it to or not, your post did come off as preachy and condescending - and at times downright insulting.
There are people who don't just lurk but post and say that they don't want to register and don't want gifts, and they've done it in far less insulting a manner than you have. Again, if you lurked a little around here, you'd know that.
[QUOTE]So now you're going to take a crack at other poster's families? Nice. Maybe if you'd lurk instead of jumping right in and calling us all materialistic entitled spoiled brats, then you'd understand other perspectives than yours. Whether you meant it to or not, your post did come off as preachy and condescending - and at times downright insulting. There are people who don't just lurk but post and say that they don't want to register and don't want gifts, and they've done it in far less insulting a manner than you have. Again, if you lurked a little around here, you'd know that.
Posted by hlq2011[/QUOTE]
Amen sister, amen!
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2. As a guest, I really like registries. I like knowing that I'm giving someone a gift that they want, not something that may not suit their taste or that they don't need or already have. It's all about how the registry is presented and how the bride views it - an optional list of requests vs a mandate. Some people act like entitled spoiled brats, sure, but not everyone does.
3. You probably aren't real anyway, so I'll stop wasting my time.
My new bff Gayle Forman!
?You can have your wishes, your plans, but at the end of the day, it's out of your control" - Gayle Forman
Married Bio
As Laura said, I like registries, as a guest. I like to get people gifts they can use. For a birthday, it's not that hard, but for an event like a wedding, I want to get something that won't be a duplicate and will be the actual brand/style the couple likes. My shower was a little over a week ago, and I received some registry gifts, some off-registry gifts, and some combo gifts. I was really touched by the thoughtfulness that all the guests put into their gifts, and some of the things, mainly the off-registry gifts, were awesome little items that I probably would not get myself.