I dont even know what to do
The BF had made plans to go paint balling for his friend's birthday last Friday. Well BF got sick Thursday, sick enough that he left work four hours early on friday. Well he still planned to go out. I was out with our dog to get claws clipped and ears cleaned when BF called and said he was heading out. That really wasn’t a good time for me to talk to him since I was juggling the squirming dog and stressed since my bank card magnet was damaged. When I got home I went to sign into facebook to find him still logged in. Well I thought it would be funny to make a facebook update for him. The post included how he should be sick in bed but instead choose to go out.
Now I have had time to think about how stupid I was to post such a passive aggressive statement and have since apologized to him for it. But that is not the problem; the problem is that his friends now think I was doing this to try to get him fired from his job. Little did I know he is also facebook friends with the biggest gossip at his work and had that person seen it he could have gotten into trouble. (no lie he and I have talked about how sorry I really am) He made it very clear that some of his friends now hate me, but will not tell me who. I think it is just the one person but he will not confirm or deny.
I chose not to go to the birthday party for his friend the next day since this was still very fresh. Today is the birthday of another friend and they threw together a last min dinner. I don’t feel like anything has been resolved with his friends and I do not want to go places I am not welcome (blame the social anxiety) I asked him if he wanted me to go, He said he didn’t care. This all just sucks. I have no idea if I should just pretend that it did not happen. Also do I owe them an apology ?
Re: I dont even know what to do
Did he go into work and did anyone say anything about it today or yesterday? If no, than I would chalk it up to a lesson learned and be glad that nothing bad happened. Give it a few days or a week to settle. We all make silly mistakes at some point.
I'm sorry you are dealing with this
You don't owe them an apology. How does your BF feel about this situation with them?
But I think you've done enough apologizing and you genuinely DO feel sorry for what you've done. It may take some time to smoothe it over with his friends, but they're silly for not liking you over a facebook status. And I mean...who's to say that one of THEM didn't change the status? (just playing devil's advocate, but unless you SIGNED the status...they can't say you wrote it, hence why they would be mad thinking that the gossip would think your BF wrote it.)
Hopefully the gossip is smart enough not to make enemies at work.
Blog: A New Yorker in Duluth
Updated 8/8/11
How do you feel about your boyfriend not caring about how YOU feel in this mess? Honestly, this is not the 1st red flag that he has given and I doubt it will be the last.
Also, he told you his friends hate you because of this? That's ridiculous and hurtful and insensitive on HIS part. He should stand up for you and tell his friends you guys have worked it out between yourselves. It's stupid that his friends would "hate" you or even be angry about it. I can understand them thinking a little less of you for a while- but you should expect that. People judge. But eventually they should let it go and get over it.
I think it's cruel of your BF to make you feel even worse by saying how his friends "hate" you now. There's no reason for him to tell you that.
You don't owe his friends an apology- but you do need to figure out what the heck is going on between the two of you that you'd do and say such hurtful and immature things to each other.
[QUOTE]I know it's a cliche around these parts, but I 100% agree with what Jeana said.
Posted by musikbx[/QUOTE]
What Musik said <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-innocent.gif" border="0" alt="Innocent" title="Innocent" />
No, but really - I rarely piggy back on someone else's comment, but I think Jeana summed up very nicely every major point I'd make.
You did something dumb, passive-aggressive, and immature. He's being a major jerk. I think your relationship at the LEAST needs some serious work on communication trust, and how to treat each other better. Your significant other should be the person who has your back, not the person making you feel bad. You need to fix the relationship or reevaluate your priorities. And the more you talk about him, the more I think you deserve wayyyy better.
Don't hide from his friends. If they have to nerve to say anything to you about it, your BF should be the one to tell them, "This is between myself and my girlfriend. It's been resolved already, so your comments aren't necessary."
From what I can tell, these friends of his are probably single.
"I don't know guys, that's a really nice thing to have in your house. I have one similar saying written on the walls all over my quiet, neat, non-childproofed home. I have it in my brand new car as a decal on the window. I even wear it on a t-shirt for when I go out to dinner or hang out at a trendy bar or go on a relaxing vacation. "All because I use birth control." It still brings a tear to my eye..." SnarkyMcSnarkerson
Methinks you need to DTMFA.
ETA: Also, how can someone so selfish and insensitive possibly be good in bed? Seriously...seriously, DTMFA.
[QUOTE]Mutley wouldn't find herself in this predicament, but that is neither here nor there. How do you feel about your boyfriend not caring about how YOU feel in this mess? Honestly, this is not the 1st red flag that he has given and I doubt it will be the last.
Posted by TheMutleys[/QUOTE]
THIS x1000
Did you do something childish? Yes. But you apologized. Your BF is being cruel and unkind, and this is definitely NOT the first time you've posted something on here that's made me think "Wow, molly's BF is an ass".