Wedding Ceremony one year after marriage

tranjuliet · August 2010

To answer your question simply - No, it would not be appropriate. Of course your family knows your situation better and will pretty much agree to any suggestion you come up with because family just wants you to be happy. However, since you are on an Etiquette board and asking for advice from a group of people representing international opinions, please understand that these answers to your question are completely truthful and helpful.

Just to clear up some definitions, there is no such thing as a ceremony (at the JOP or priest's office) versus an "actual ceremony". There is only one ceremony - the one where you get married. The purpose of a reception is to your receive your guests and thank them for attending your wedding ceremony. Having your father walk you down an aisle and doing the whole "fake" ceremony thing a year later would just be staging a false wedding. Your guests would pretty much be coming to witness a "show" that you would be expecting entrance fee for since you are registering after the fact.

You mentioned that you wanted to have the wedding that you always wanted. If that's truly how you feel, then I think you should either wait it out and do it all the appropriate way OR If you MUST do it now, then do it the best way that you can do now. Many churches ask for only a donation and if budget is an issue, I've been to many afternoon dessert only type receptions and they were just as fabulous as ever.

kathrynhabibti · August 2010

[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Ceremony one year after marriage : OMG! Just because I don't want to explain my reason this has to be about sex? I have been with him for 7 years, if that is what it was about, we would have gone to the JOP a long time ago. I have waited this long I can wait another year. Just because I don't want to explain my reason to you all doesn't mean that it is ridiculous. It doesn't matter what the reason is, if the reason is important enough for my bf and I, then that is all that matters. I was simply asking if it was appropirate to have a private marriage in the preachers office and postpone any celebration/re-commitment ceremony for a year. I hear about these all the time I honestly didn't think it would be such a big deal. Clearly you all think otherwise, which is fine.
Posted by aahence[/QUOTE]
Except that wasn't what you asked at first:
Would it be ok to have a preacher marry us in his office this year and have the actual ceremony sometime next year? 

And you're just backtracking now.

andy71781 · August 2010

OP I'm late to the party but I'd just like to say that you should wait and have the wedding in a year when you can afford it. That time will go by very quickly. I planned my wedding in 8 months and it was crazzy.
I hope he proposes soon.

polichik · August 2010

*threadjack* Hi Andy! I was wondering if you've checked your PMs recently. Any idea what your travel plans are shaping up to be?

notquiteblushing · August 2010

I don't really care either way what you do but now I am reallly really curious what your all important reason for getting married is.

Belle2Be · August 2010

OP, are you planning on running to the JOP as soon as you get engaged? Do you and your bf have a date set? I think you can plan a perfectly respectable wedding and reception in 3 months. Do a lunch reception, BBQ, in someones backyard, DIY the decor and invites etc, it is completely possible to plan a wedding in a brief period on a budget.

jess9802 · August 2010

My fiance has floated the "courthouse ceremony now, party in a year" idea. His reasoning is that I will get a larger tax refund if I file married, filing jointly, and we can use the tax refund to pay for our modest wedding. I flat out refuse. I think it's TACKY to be legally married and have a dress-up day where you recreate something you did months earlier. I told my fiance that I was saying the wedding vows once, and not for extra money or to buy a house or whatever.

FWIW, my fiance's sister did this, five years before I knew her: her husband was about to be deployed to Iraq, so they had a courthouse ceremony and then a "real" wedding and reception a year later. I love them both, but I think it was a stupid idea and I judge them for it.

Wedding Ceremony one year after marriage

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