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Wedding Etiquette Forum
MrsCross2B
member
Advice Please
When having a smaller wedding, how do you handle the situation of people who assume they are invited, but in actuality will not make the cut? Our guest list is limited to no more than 80 people as that is the max capacity for our reception site. Of that 80, the majority is family and the rest is a handful of very close friends. So when someone who may not be getting an invite mentions the wedding and assumes that they would be invited, what do we say? Even though the wedding is just over a year away we're already pretty certain on who will be invited. I would like to handle the situation with as much tact as possible, but also with asertiveness since I am a notorious push over and most people know I can never say no.
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Re: Advice Please
Do you think they'll find out about a few friends that are invited? If not, I think a white lie is okay in this situation.
BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM
Plus, it's wrong of them to even ask if they are invited, or even assume that they are.
Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?
"cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
[QUOTE]Some of the people who aren't invited would probably find out about the close friends that are invited. I don't want to lie (I'm bad at it anyways). I just want a *nice* way to say that although we care about them as friends, they aren't close enough to have them at the wedding. LOL Sounds really awful to say out loud.
Posted by MrsCross2B[/QUOTE]
Definitely stay away from terms like "not close enough" but keep "although we care about [you] as friends." Like pps have said, use the venue's restrictions as your reason so it feels less personal. And no one can argue having family first at a wedding. I think most people will get what "small wedding" means.
Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?
"cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
Why do you feel the need to tell them that they aren't close enough to be invited to the wedding? That's just unnecessary and you'll be setting yourself up for more hurt feelings. Just tell them that you're planning a very small wedding and leave it at that.
Have you encountered this yet or are you assuming that someone will ask? Most people know it's rude to ask if they are invited, so you might be pleasantly surprised.
Preppy & Beatles- that's the perfect way to say it. Thank you!!!!!
We've already hurt some feelings by planning to have an 'adults only' ceremony. When this is all said and done I would like to have some people in our lives still speaking to us. LOL!
Just keep to your guns MrsCross. You'll be happier in the end.